To Find Where We Belong

The last thing Clara MacKenzie expected when she opened her door to the sharp knock was Severus Snape, but it was a pleasant surprise, nonetheless. She gave him a tentative smile but it faded when he merely stood there, glaring at her as if she were some disgusting specimen. After a moment of awkward silence, she stepped to one side and motioned him in with her hand. He stepped in and she closed the door behind him.

While they stood there staring at each other Clara noted that he was in long wool robes, old fashioned breeches and spat-style shoes from the early 1900s. His shoulder-length hair was windblown from the wintry outdoors and snow still dusted his shoulders. She also noted he looked distinctly put-out to be in London this cold December day.

"Hello, Severus," she said slowly. "This is a pleasant surprise."

"Is it?" he snapped harshly and she winced at the tone. "How nice."

"Is something wrong?" she asked, wondering what on earth was going on. She'd given up that he wanted anything else to do with her, so the surprise she felt at having him in her flat was not minimal to say the least.

"Tell me about your new boss, the blonde Adonis with the pointy chin who calls you a Muggle."

Clara blinked stupidly for a moment and then she grinned. She couldn't help it. "Is that what I wrote? I -"

Severus began to pace her living room after forcibly sitting her on her sofa. "What's his name?" he ground out.

"Lucius Malfoy."

Severus stopped dead and turned to face her sharply. "He used his own name?" he said incredulously. "What a stupid git!"

Clara frowned. "What's going on with you? You know Mr. Malfoy?"

Severus snorted and didn't answer. Instead he asked another question. "What kind of experiments with these organic compounds are you working on? What sort of ingredients are going into these potions mixtures?"

"I'm not sayin' one more bloody thing until you tell me just what in bleedin' hell is going on with you!" shouted Clara, losing her temper. "You inform me you can't handle being near me in the hospital, don't answer my letters, not a peep from you in almost two months and now you barge in here, asking questions and being very rude! I'll tell you nothing 'til you answer a question or two of my own!"

Severus took a step back in shock. He wasn't sure how he could have done so, but he'd forgotten Clara had a bit of a temper herself. At the moment he was getting a good accounting of it. She was as close to in his face as her smaller stature would let her and her index finger had no doubt placed a good size bruise in the center of his chest. Her eyes were the magical green fire usually found under his cauldrons and her lips were thinned. If her face got any redder she was going to explode on the spot.

"Ask then!" he snapped.

"I did but I'll repeat it!" she snapped back. "Do you know Mr. Malfoy?"

"Yes! That's why I'm here, you silly Muggle!"

"What's a Muggle?"

Severus hesitated. Right before leaving Hogwarts, he'd discussed how much to tell Clara about everything magical with Dumbledore. Albus had been of the opinion that if Severus wanted a forthright relationship with Clara, he was going to have to tell her the whole truth. Severus wasn't comfortable with the whole truth but was willing to tell Clara a good part of it.

"Sit down. You aren't going to take this well," Severus finally told her. When she mutinously folded her arms over her chest and glared at him instead he sighed. "Sit or I'll put you there and tie you down."

Clara gave him a scowl but did as she was told.

Severus took a deep breath, paced the room another round and then stopped right in front of her. "Clara, I'm a wizard."

She stared at him a moment, blinked and then nodded. "I'll grant you that. With the nonsense I've put up from you and the fact I'm still interested enough to stick it out, you must be working some sort of spell on me."

He stared at her, nonplussed by her confession. "No, really, a wizard, as in casting spells with a wand, doing potions, flying on a broomstick -"

"GET OUT!" she screamed at him. Clara leaped to her feet, infuriated beyond belief. "Just get out! I'll not be treated like some imbecile. I'm sorry I even pestered you to continue our relationship! Just leave, don't ever visit, speak or write to me again!"

What he was expecting, Severus wasn't sure, but this was definitely not it. "I'm serious, Clara, I am a wizard."

She stomped over to the door, jerked it open and pointed into the hall. "Get. Out. You lying, demented, psychotic piece of -"

Severus slammed the door, picked her up and deposited her on the couch. When she opened her mouth to scream, he slapped a hand over it. "How about if I prove it then?" He pulled his wand from within his coat and waved it in front of her. Her sea-green eyes were about all he could see and they were wide, watching the wand as if hypnotized. "Orchideous!" A brilliant yellow orchid popped out of the end of his wand, it's fragrance wafting to both their noses.

He took his hand from her mouth and her jaw became unhinged. He plucked the orchid from his wand and handed it to her. "For you," he mumbled self-consciously.

Clara sniffed suspiciously at the blossom. "I thought you said you were a chemistry professor."

Severus looked uncomfortable. "I - that is - er -" He sat next to her and stared down at the wand clutched in both hands dangling between his knees. He took a shuddering deep breath. "You cannot repeat this to anyone, Clara, I mean anyone. Do you understand?" She nodded placatingly. "I teach at a school for witches and wizards. It's called Hogwarts. It is in Scotland, but it's hidden by magic spells and repelling charms."

"Repelling charms," Clara repeated numbly.

"Charms designed to make sure non-magic people stay away." He thought a moment. "Remember you mentioned to me when we watched movies here that you could never remember the name of the inn I stayed at?" She nodded. "That's because there is a charm on the inn to make you forget it. It should make you forget you saw it at all, but I think you remembered it somewhat because you know I was there. Something in your mind is letting you see that much through the spell."

"Right." Clara didn't sound or look convinced.

Severus tried again. "My clothes? Wizards don't worry about changing fashions that much. We wear comfortable clothes that seem old-fashioned and such. I wear trousers and all but many men in the wizarding world still wear just robes and maybe a long undershirt or something. No trousers or anything."

Clara looked horrified now.

"For the love of Merlin!" he exploded, springing to his feet to begin pacing again. "I can't make it any more clearer, Clara! I am a man who can do magic! I teach the art of potions at an exclusive wizarding school!"

"Do more magic then," Clara told him. "Something that doesn't look like -" She began to laugh, hysterical laughter bubbling from deep inside her. "Oh Severus! You are so funny!"

Severus was floored. Funny? Him? Never! "What the devil are you talking about?" he demanded, insulted.

"This is so sweet!" she giggled, clutching the orchid tightly. "The story and the flower and everything. A bit lame for romance but definitely different!"

"I'm not being romantic," he growled, "I'm telling you the truth and you're laughing at me!"

Clara stopped laughing. "The truth?"

He nodded. "I. Am. A. Wizard." He pointed his wand at her television. "Wingardium Leviosa!" The television lifted from its place on the tiny entertainment center and floated around the room as Severus directed with his wand. He finally placed it back carefully and noted with satisfaction that Clara looked a bit pale. "Now do you believe me?"

"That-" Clara swallowed and then licked her dry lips. "That was good. How'd you do that?"

Frustrated beyond belief, Severus threw up his hands. "Magic!" he bellowed.

"Oh," answered Clara in a very small voice. "Do something else?"

His black eyes narrowed but he nodded. "Very well, I'll do something else. ACCIO! ACCIO! ACCIO!" Two vases and a loaf of bread were summoned directly to Severus, who caught them deftly. He juggled them momentarily without using his hands and then magically sent them back using a controlled version of the banishing charm. He smugly noted that Clara seemed convinced. "Need more proof?"

She shook her head, unable to speak.

"Now, listen. Muggles are what we call people without magic, people like you. Wizards and witches are born everyday to either magical parents or," his lips curled into a sneer, "Muggle parents. Hogwarts is a school that provides proper education in the magical arts to those children who attend. I teach Potions, a magical form of chemistry using special ingredients known only to those of magical knowledge." He frowned at her shirt, momentarily distracted. "What the devil does 'Chemists do it in H2O' mean?"

Clara blushed to the roots of her hair. "You know," she stammered, "it."

"I know what it refers to but what is H2O?"

Clara looked sideways at the front door, as if measuring how fast she could run to it. "The chemical composition of water."

"Two hydrogen and one oxygen," Severus stated and then muttered under his breath, "Muggles abbreviate everything."

"What?"

"Nothing," he hurriedly said, deciding to avoid this altogether uncomfortable subject and go back to a less uncomfortable subject (if that was possible). "Now, your employer, Lucius Malfoy is wizard like me, but not a good wizard. In fact, he's known as, well, Clara, you see, I..." Severus wasn't sure how to explain this part. "He and I were in this organization together when I was younger. We weren't, well, we did some things I'm not proud of. Malfoy thinks its still okay, but I can't say I'm too thrilled with the kind of man I was back then. And well, you see -"

"Did you hurt people?" Clara was staring at him in horror.

Severus closed his eyes. The moment of his worst nightmare was at hand. Time to confess his sins. "I killed people."

Her tiny gasp wrenched something deep inside. Though he'd never said the words to Dumbledore, he knew that Albus had always known what he'd done as a Death Eater. It took a monumental effort but he opened his eyes. He had to know what Clara thought of him.

She threw herself into his arms and began to sob in the crook of his neck, babbling inanely. "Oh, Severus, you poor thing! What a horrible thing to carry around with you all the time! Yer not a bad person now, so you can just try and put that behind you and do the best you can to make up for it. Why, you've been a gentleman and, and, and...."

"Ssssh, my little Muggle," Severus whispered. "It's all right, I know. The headmaster -"

"Dumbledore," Clara sniffed.

"Yes, Albus Dumbledore was instrumental in getting me back on the right track. I joined his group of spies within the organization I belonged to with Malfoy. I got important information regarding their membership and activities. When the man the Death Eaters followed, Lord Voldemort, fell, well, I gave important testimony that got many of my fellow Death Eaters thrown into wizard prison."

Clara pulled away from his hug, eyes narrowing. "So yer sayin' that Lucius Malfoy is a wizard too? An evil wizard who killed people in this organization called Death Eaters who followed some raving psychotic named Voldenmort? And now he's in charge of the company that I work for and has me and other non-magical scientists working on a chemical of some kind?" Horror spread over her face again. "Why, I could be working on some horrible experiment that might later be used to hurt or even kill you and yer friends, Severus!"

"The dark lord's name was Voldemort, not Voldenmort," Severus corrected absently, "and yes, you've pretty much got the rest of the information straight."

"He has a tattoo on his arm," Clara informed Severus. "It's a scary tattoo. When I remarked on it once, he laughed and said it was a silly thing he did in school and is stuck with it now."

Severus pulled the left sleeve of his shirt up. "Did it look like this?" he asked quietly, revealing the snake wrapped skull mark that signified that he had been a Death Eater.

Clara gasped again and traced it lightly with her index finger. "Y-yes," she replied shakily.

"I was afraid of that." Severus took a deep breath. "Clara, you have to quit your job. I know you like it and all, but you have to get out of there. The fact that you work there and that I know you cannot be coincidence when it comes to Malfoy."

"Patrick has a similar tattoo on his arm too," Clara murmured, not paying the slightest bit of attention to Severus' instructions.

Severus froze. "He what?"

She continued tracing the Dark Mark on his arm. "Only it doesn't have a snake, but the skull is almost identical."

Severus felt himself go cold. Was there a new society of young Death Eaters beginning? Was Patrick one of them? The possibilities of the information made Severus ill. "You have to quit your job, Clara!" he insisted.

"What will I do?" she asked forlornly, leaning back into the couch and away from his touch. She continued to stare at his lower left arm even after he pulled the sleeve back over the Dark Mark.

"I don't know. I can get some money exchanged from magical to Muggle money if you need it."

"I'll not be a kept woman, Severus!" Clara informed him primly.

He grimaced. "I'm just saying," he began but she interrupted again.

"I've actually had another job offer but I turned it down yesterday because I liked this job."

"See if you can retract your refusal," Severus told her. "You have to get out of that place."

They stared at each other for a long moment. "Can you take me to yer school someday?" she asked wistfully. "I'd love to see it."

"Someday," he said noncommittally. "Maybe. There are...difficulties involved in doing so. The event going on there that I told you about concerns two other magical schools in Europe. Hogwarts is hosting a special contest event this year and it's thrown everything into a loop. Speaking of which -" He stood up.

"You have to go?" Clara clutched his hand nervously. "Will they bother me at home?" she asked fearfully, referring to her possibly evil wizard colleagues.

"Doubtful. Not unless we give them reason to." Severus picked up his wand from the small side table where he'd laid it when Clara had hugged him. "Don't say anything, don't do anything to make them suspicious, all right? Just leave as quickly and without any fuss."

"All right," she agreed with a vehement nod of her head. Inside her mind, though, she had no such intentions. She walked him to the door. "Thank you for telling me the truth, Severus."

He managed a weak smile. "In truth, I told you because I couldn't bear both you and Dumbledore thinking me a coward or something."

She returned the smile. "I said some harsh things in that letter, didn't I?"

He touched her hair, almost disbelieving what he had done, was doing and was going to do. "My little Muggle, I'm finding I'm quite a different man when I'm with you." He leaned down and gave her a gentle kiss on the lips. "Good-bye, little Muggle. Take care of that leg and be careful around Malfoy."

He heard her say, "Write me" just before he Apparated from her flat. He had no idea that she fainted dead away on the spot after he vanished into thin air.