Seing Other People

Seeing Other People

It happened in February and it was snowing.

The windowpanes were misted up because the fire in the hearth was throwing out heat like a sauna. Remus had never felt so cold in his life.

"For a bit, anyway," Sirius was saying casually, staring into the flames. "For contrast. I mean, how can you tell you've found the right person, or whatever, unless you sample a few?"

Or whatever, Remus thought, and felt sick.

He remembered Sirius' words the first time they'd kissed, during a stolen moment at school - "Just for practice."

"I see," Remus said tightly. "Fine."

"Great," replied Sirius, looking relieved. "You're the best."

Remus tried not to hear about the conquests, but the rumour mill suggested that Sirius' intent was acted upon. The other people seemed to be numerous and varied, apart from the fact that they were all female.

It was hugely, enormously unreasonable of Sirius to show up at midnight several months later and start raging like a madman.

"I don't think you're handling this very well," Remus said in a carefully polite voice, and Sirius narrowed his eyes dangerously.

"How am I supposed to react when you go on dirty weekends with strangers? I didn't know you'd gone until James told me. We're in the middle of a war, you can't just disappear! Who was she?"

"Isn't this what you wanted, Sirius?" Remus asked sharply. "Or did the opportunity to sleep around only apply to you?"

"That isn't the point," Sirius snapped.

"Then tell me, what is the point? I suppose you knew the girls would line up for you, the tall, elegant rich kid. Didn't you expect any takers for quiet, scrawny Remus?"

"What the hell are you talking about?" Sirius demanded. "I would never say-"

"Don't be such a fucking hypocrite!" Remus shouted.

Sirius was glowering, visibly furious, his knuckles white around the wand.

It would be easy for this to escalate into throwing hexes instead of words; easy for Sirius to do something unforgivable. This time, James wasn't around to intervene.

Remus lowered his wand and turned away.

"Go home," he said tiredly. "You don't own me any more."

"Who was she?" Sirius asked again, quietly.

"He," Remus said, glancing up to see Sirius' expression. "It was a he. Turns out I was doing a different sort of practicing."

Sirius stood, his face ashen and the wandtip wavering in his shaking hand.

For a moment Remus thought that Sirius might say something - that this had been a mistake and he was sorry, that he wanted Remus back - but of course he didn't.

Instead, Sirius said "I hope you're happy," in a bleak voice and left. The door clicked shut behind him.

Remus flooed Peter, because he could be counted on to take Remus' side against Sirius.

They drank firewhiskey together until the alcohol ran thick and warm in his veins, until the memory of that guy blurred into anonymity and the thought of other people didn't hurt so much.