Resolutions

Ginny sat atop the Astronomy tower, bundled in a cloak and blanket as protection from the chilly winter air. Her long, fiery red hair tumbled around her. She had found a little niche and was securely hidden from view. It was a still night, with little to disturb her. The moon was not quite full, but still cast a lovely silver glow as it reflected off the snow that covered the grounds. The stars dotting the sky twinkled like diamonds, adding romance and beauty to her vigil.

She glanced down the watch in her gloved hand. It was ten minutes to midnight. The New Year was nearly upon her. Down in the Gryffindor common room, people were celebrating and pairing off for their New Year's kisses. There was only one person who Ginny wanted to kiss, and he wouldn't be found in that common room. Besides that, he was the reason she was up here alone. Ginny was making her New Year's resolutions, and the big one was to put him from her mind.

Everyone had been surprised when Draco Malfoy came back to Hogwarts. No one would have given him credit for enough courage to show his face in the school he had helped to ruin. Not to mention the fact that he was now a known Death Eater. But when September the first had rolled around, he had been on the train with everyone else, refusing to give any explanations, and if possible, looking more surly than ever before. There were fewer students than usual on the train, but more than Ginny had been expecting. It was still at least two-thirds full. Most of the missing students were Slytherins, the Death-Eaters' children. Which was another reason why it had been such a shock for Ginny to see Malfoy there.

She had been having a difficult time. Over the summer, she had truly let go of Harry Potter. And it had been one of the most painful things she'd ever had to do. Ginny had been through a lot of pain in her life. Harry had been the light. The few months she'd really been able to call him 'hers' had been some of the best of her life. But he'd ended it. And now she knew that he was the type who would never be able to be in the kind of relationship she wanted and needed. He would always be the hero, off to save the world. He couldn't have the liability of a girlfriend or lover or wife or whatever sitting home waiting for him. Ginny had spent a summer of tears learning to accept that.

So when she saw Malfoy on the train, she had nearly snapped. That he, a Death Eater, should be at Hogwarts, while Harry, the best person she knew, and his closest friends, who happened to be two of Ginny's favorite people in the world, were off who-knew-where trying to find a way to destroy the Dark Lord, in constant danger, made Ginny so angry she could barely see. And that was why she had blown off all her friends, who were chatting animatedly, if not truly happily (it was impossible to be really happy in times like those), to find Malfoy's compartment. He had been, to her surprise, sitting alone at the very end of the train, a position he would never have accepted in the past. She had slipped through the door and opened her mouth to berate him, to speak all of the horrible thoughts swirling about in her head, but he beat her to the punch.

"Hello Weaselette. Had a lovely summer with your hero boyfriend then, have you? What are you doing down here? Are you lost?" The words had been malicious, but something was lacking in his tone. He had looked defeated and lost. Like a shell of the way he used to be. Not that she cared, of course.

"Harry's not my boyfriend anymore, I've had a perfectly dreadful summer, I don't get lost, and I came down here to yell at you." Best to be as concise as possible, she had thought.

"Well, get on with it then. It's not like I haven't heard it all before. I highly doubt you could come up with anything more original than that oaf Hagrid, McGonagall, Snape, that werewolf Lupin, Mad-Eye Moody and your own bloody father combined."

"Don't you dare insult my father!" Ginny's anger, which had dissolved a little when she saw how bad he looked, came flooding back in a great tidal wave. What right did he have to deride those people? Every one of them (with the possible exception of Snape) was worth at least ten of him! "You have no right! You foul, evil...wait, when did my father ever talk to you?"

"Several times over the summer after I turned myself in to the Order at Snape's insistence. I was held at some dingy old house where my vile cousin Sirius Black used to live." Malfoy's lip had curled delicately. The sneer had almost been his old one.

"You lived at Grimmauld all summer? No wonder none of us were allowed to visit! I thought it was just because Dumbledore was gone and there was no Secret-Keeper...." Ginny's voice had trailed off after she said the former Headmaster's name, as she wondered how Draco would react to it. Fortunately, he hadn't seemed to notice.

"You've been there? Well I suppose if it is the Order's headquarters...Anyway, I had to live there mostly alone, although they took it in shifts to come and check up on me. And there was always some new damned lecture about my actions and their consequences. As if I didn't already know everything they were telling me. As if I wasn't already beating myself up for doing it, and then being too cowardly to follow through. Your father took the most pleasure in it, I'm sure." A little more of the old acid had come into his voice, but Ginny hardly noticed. The fact that Malfoy had turned himself over, that he was no longer a Death Eater, had given her more than enough to mull over.

"Listen, Weasley, if you still want to chew me a new ass, then get started, because I'm a little tired of your company." He had settled back and squared his shoulders, as if preparing for a lengthy tirade. It was certainly what she had come there to do. But Ginny simply hadn't had the rage anymore. If it had been anyone less than the hated Malfoy, she would have felt truly sorry for him. In fact, she had been dangerously close to that emotion as it was.

"You know, Malfoy, I just don't feel up for it at the moment. I'm sure I'll find an opportunity sometime throughout the school year." She had started for the door.

"Weasley?" A completely foreign note had come into his voice. She realized that he was letting the pain through. "I am sorry. About last year. I know you don't like me, and I don't like you. And I don't like your family or friends, and probably never will. But I want you to know that I regret what I did. It's important to me that you all understand." Ginny had turned to look at Malfoy as he said this, and could see the agony floating in his steely eyes. Something in him had snapped that night, and he was paying for it. Every day, he was paying for it. She could tell. And suddenly, he hadn't been the Malfoy she'd hated forever, he had just been a boy who was confused and hurting. Pity seeped in. It had been a very alien feeling when applied to Malfoy. But there it was.

"Me too, Malfoy. But it's okay. I don't think I'll ever understand it, but I'm sorry that you had to go through that. Truly." Suddenly, before she ever realized what she was doing, Ginny had seated herself beside him and wrapped her arms around him, gently stroking his back. It was the same thing she used to do to Harry when he got overwhelmed. Malfoy had responded the same way. He relaxed and leaned into her touch, resting his head of silvery blonde hair on her shoulder. She'd been surprised at how comfortable she had felt with him in her arms. They had sat like that for the whole train ride.

Something had changed between them that day. Ginny supposed that was only natural. She was no longer certain how to act around him, and she was pretty sure he felt the same way about her. They kept bumping into each other in the strangest places and then awkwardly avoiding conversation. Once or twice, their eyes had accidentally met, and she had seen something in his grey ones that both excited and horrified her. If Ginny hadn't been so confused herself, she would have found great amusement in seeing Malfoy acting so erratically. It was really unlike him, unlike the poise and balance that had been bred into him. Knowing she was the cause of his behavior would have sweetened the feeling. Instead, his unbalance only fueled hers. And worse yet, she found herself thinking about him all the time, not just when they were dancing around each other in the corridors. She watched him in the Great Hall at meals, noticing how wretched he looked, and thinking that if school was bad for her, it must be torturous for him. In the common room while she was supposed to be doing homework, she thought about how nice it had felt to hold him in her arms, and how much she wanted to do it again. That was the scariest thought of all. Worse luck, it was the most frequent.

Ginny shifted into a slightly more comfortable position on the tower and wrapped her cloak closer around her, trying to shake off the memories of Malfoy that were surrounding her. It was now five minutes to midnight, time to officially make her resolutions. She used formal language, hoping it would make her willpower stronger. "I, Ginevra Molly Weasley, do make the following Resolution for this, the New Year: That I shall do everything in my power to forget Draco Malfoy. I shall not think about him anymore. I shall not think about him in class, in the corridors, in the Great Hall, in the common room, or in my dorm. He is scum, no matter what kind of change of heart he's had. He may no longer be a Death Eater, but he has not suddenly morphed into a knight in shining armor. I shall not feel sorry for him any more. I've spent enough time doing that. And above all, I shall not think about how nice it was to hold him or how I'd like to do it again. Ever. Period." Having said this, Ginny stood to watch the fireworks that would go off in a minute or two. An inexplicable sadness came over her. At least, she'd prefer that it were inexplicable. It wasn't, of course. Not at all. "Happy New Year," she muttered to herself, walking out to the main part of the tower.

"Do you really think about me all the time, Weasley?" Ginny jumped and stifled her shriek. Malfoy was lounging against the wall, just around the corner from her hiding place. The moonlight glinted off his hair and reflected in his eyes, making him appear strangely angelic. The look was all wrong for him, only the sarcasm in his voice remained of his usual manner. Ginny felt the Weasley blush creep up her cheeks. She was never going to hear the end of this. It was mortifying. Yet something deep inside her was relieved that he knew. At least some of the awkwardness between them would be explained.

"Not anymore, Malfoy. Since you were listening, you should know that," she spat, her embarrassment lending her voice venom that she wouldn't otherwise have had, especially around him.

"Yeah, I guess I do. You know, I came up here to do the same thing you were doing. Resolving to forget about a certain incident on the train. Somehow it's easier to make a new beginning up here. I can't explain it, but I suppose I don't really need to, not to you. I never expected to find you here. Obviously. But now that we've both made our resolutions, we're being counterproductive by staying, don't you think?" But he stepped toward her, rather than toward the door. Ginny felt her pulse quicken as her heart skipped a beat. It always did when he was around. She nodded weakly, not trusting herself to look at him, knowing her face would give her feelings away. She wasn't ready to do that until his were more plain. "Of course," Malfoy continued softly, taking another step towards her, "it's not quite midnight yet. I can hear them counting down. We have ten seconds to think about each other as much as we want." Although she hadn't wanted to, something in his low tone made her look into his eyes. Terrifying eyes, really, but at that moment, they were blazing with something other than malice. It no longer horrified her. Ginny's eyes met his for a second, which was all he needed. He closed the slight distance between them in another swift step, and then his mouth was on hers.

His kiss was burning and passionate, taking Ginny off guard. Then she sank into it, matching his desire and intensity. His hands were buried in her hair, while hers were running up and down his back, caressing in the way she had wanted to ever since that fateful train ride. He was taller than she'd thought, and she found herself standing on tiptoe to reach him. Somehow, it was more romantic that way. He had pulled her slim body as close to his as was physically possible and it wasn't close enough for Ginny. She opened her mouth, their tongues touched, and then it was close enough. Her insides were crashing and her knees were weak. There was thunder in her ears. Malfoy pulled away all too soon, and she realized that the thunder was real fireworks. The new year had truly started. She had started it with Malfoy.

"Happy New Year, Ginny. I suppose it's time for those resolutions, right?" His tone was a mixture of so many emotions, slightly sarcastic, yet hopeful and gentle, careful and searching, as if he was afraid of what she would do, as if he still wasn't sure what she wanted. Ginny knew, though. She had never been more certain.

"Like hell it is, Draco." Ginny grabbed his cloak and pulled him back in for another kiss, realizing that it was the first time either of them had used first names. A new year for new beginnings. A new relationship. Despite all the things that had happened to her over the past year, despite the fact that the coming year would probably be worse, she had begun the New Year in the best way possible, with the perfect person, and suddenly, despite everything, Ginny Weasley was happy again.