Forgive Me

...Forgive Me...

I am sorry. I don't want to cause you all this pain. I have tried to stay, for you. But even your love can't keep me here.

When I was little and locked in my cupboard, I used to imagine that my parents would come for me. Every knock on the door was them. Every car whizzing past was theirs. Every phone call was for me. But they never came. I was alone in this world.

And then when I was eleven, something happened. My life turned upside down and I came to Hogwarts. Hogwarts has always been my home, nowhere else until now.

And you were all my family.

I lived in fear for the next years. Always scared that Voldemort was going to come back and take my family from me again. I couldn't let that happen.

But he can't hurt you now, now it's me who can hurt you. I have done what I had to do. Voldemort is gone.

Did you know that I tried to take my life more then once before this? But something always stopped me, once I just wouldn't stop breathing. I found out after that it was the prophecy. But it has been fulfilled and I can leave. I can go home.

I want to go home. That's where my family is. My parents and Sirius. It hurt so much when he died. I wanted to die even more after that, because I know it was my fault.

So many deaths because of me. Cedric died, Sirius died, my parents died, Remus committed suicide because I killed Sirius. I don't want any of you to die. No more deaths.

I don't want you to remember me. I want you to forget. I want you to go on with your lives, and live. Find new friends, find new lovers, find new students.

I have to go, I can't stay here.

Draco, know that I will always love you. I tried to stay here for you but things get to be too much, and you have to let go. Just know that I died loving you. I love you all so much. And I tried to stay, really I did.

None of you should blame yourselves. It isn't your fault. It's mine. I am the one who can't handle it.

Don't feel sad, any of you. Know that I did live; I had the best friends that anyone could ask for. I fell in love, and he loved me back. I had amazing mentors who always supported me. I had adventures. I lived.

I just have to go now, it is someone else' turn to live.

I am not going to come back. So don't keep looking. I don't want to come back. I want to wait for you, wait for you to come home. When that happens we can be friends. Friends forever remember?

Please, just whatever happens, don't try to follow me. I don't mean that much. I am not worth dieing for.

I just want to go home. I want to be free. I want release.

Please forgive me...

I love you Draco.

***********

Harry Potter committed suicide on October 31st, the anniversary of his parents' death. Draco Malfoy locked himself in his room, drowning in his sorrow for two weeks. On November 14th he left his room and headed out to the lake at Hogwarts where Harry Potter, his lover was buried. Draco dug up the body and pulled it onto the grass. He slit his wrists and held Harry until he passed on.

Draco Malfoy left no note. The only thing he left was a poem titled Angel. When he was found the next morning, Harry's arms were around his now dead lover. Draco died in the arms of his angel.

Angel

I want to fly,
On the wings of an angel;
I want to cry,
At the hands of that angel;
I want to die,
In the arms of my angel;
I want my angel.

**********

Draco saw the specter of his love the evening of his death. He was in his room crying when arms curled around him in a familiar embrace. He had thought long ago that he couldn't live without Harry; at the time he thought it was true but the need to find out never arose. Draco couldn't live without his lover. He is now with his angel, Draco Malfoy is home.