Regaining

Severus was not a morning person. In fact, he considered rising early a part of his life's punishment - a deserved, but horrid fate. But today was Thursday morning, and there would be only one more morning before the holiday break. The holiday break... peace, quiet, and sleeping when you wanted. He sighed, tried to concentrate on his lesson notes, and took a sip of his second cup of strong black tea. Logical thinking at this hour was always difficult for him, and so he was taken quite aback when a fire appeared in his office's fireplace. A moment later, Dumbledore's head appeared in the flames. "Severus, I need to see you in my office. It is a matter of some urgency."

"Yes, right away, Sir," replied Severus baffled. He strode to the fireplace and took a pinch of Floo Powder from a container on the mantle. He threw it into the fire and then stepped into the hearth. "Dumbledore's office," he said, and with a disorienting pull, he found himself in the Headmaster's office. As he stepped away from the fireplace and looked around the room, the forgotten tea cup in his hand fell and shattered. Severus didn't notice. Before him was a face from the past, a face he had hoped he would never see again.

"Severus, I trust you remember Agent Cronin of the Department of Mysteries?" asked Dumbledore, indicating the witch occupying one of the office arm chairs.

"Of course I do," said Severus in a hoarse whisper.

"Good morning, Snape," said Agent Cronin, with a snort of laughter, "What's wrong - looks like you've just seen a ghost." She looked almost as she had the last time he'd seen her, sixteen years ago. She was lounging comfortably with her feet resting upon a newly conjured ottoman. She was a compact woman, petite but much stronger than she looked. Her hair was white and very short, and her gray eyes glittered from her wrinkled face. He guessed that she must be around Minerva's age, or perhaps older, but she could probably still run rings around him with her vast supply of energy. Her robes were black and sleek, not unlike Quidditch robes. On her collar was a small, red question mark insignia that indicated her status as an Unspeakable.

When Severus had come to Dumbledore that night long ago, he had not expected mercy, but he had found it. He had been offered a chance to do something about Voldemort, and he had been relieved to take it. Instead of calling the Aurors, Dumbledore had contacted the Department of Mysteries. Severus had been processed through the Department instead of through Azkaban, but by the time he had been thoroughly interrogated and then schooled by this woman, he had wondered whether Azkaban would have been the better of the two. She was ferocious in her search for the truth, and she was willing to do whatever she had to do to get it.

He couldn't imagine what she would have been like if he had been unwilling to cooperate. To her credit, he had been fully prepared in the tactics, concentration, and practical skills of being a spy when she had finished with him. He had also been assured of the fact that should he ever so much as hint to be truly serving Voldemort again, she would bring her wrath down upon him full force, no matter how much Dumbledore pleaded his case. Her last words to him still echoed in his mind. "If you do fail," she had hissed in his ear with a smile, "I will take the utmost pleasure in destroying you, you arrogant brat." It didn't take brilliance to infer why she was here.

"Severus, Agent Cronin is here on official business," said Dumbledore, who did not appear troubled in the least. "It seems that the Department of Magical Law Enforcement has seen fit to pass Hermione Granger's poisoning investigation along to the Department of Mysteries. Agent Cronin would like to speak with you further about the Leeching Elixir."

"Don't worry, my boy," Agent Cronin said with a mischievous grin on her face, "You're not under any suspicion... yet. I wanted to come to the source of this new weapon in Voldemort's arsenal to get the information we need to fight it."

Severus cringed. She had always called him "my boy". She knew he despised it, and as she had reminded him on a daily basis for a month, she thought it was a good way to bring him down a peg. He didn't reply, but he nodded.

"Oh, you might want to clean that up there," she said, gesturing with her wand to the broken tea cup beside him. "It's always a good idea to clean up your own messes."

With a slice of his wand, Severus had repaired the cup and removed the stain on the carpet. "Yes, Ma'am, I've learned that the hard way," he said through clenched teeth.

"Well, well, still prickly, are you?" she taunted. "I seem to recall a time when that facade couldn't protect your tender feelings." She turned to Dumbledore, "Sir, I expect I'll be here for a week or two at the least. I trust I can have guest rooms near Slytherin quarters?"

"Why?" replied Snape bitterly, "So you can keep a better watch on me?"

"Partly that, my boy," she said, "and partly for nostalgia."

"Agent Cronin was in Slytherin House when she was at Hogwarts," said Dumbledore, unruffled by the tension in the room. "You were Head Girl in your year, weren't you?"

"Oh yes, Sir, but that was a long time ago indeed," she said laughing. "Now, as for you -- " she pointed at Severus. "I expect you have classes today, but I'll want to speak with you tonight. I'd also like to have a full written report from yourself and from the victim by the end of the holidays. Do you think she can write a report? Or will writing the events down on parchment be too much of a trauma?" She said the last in a sneer. Agent Cronin had little patience for the weak.

"Miss Granger will be up to the task," Severus said. "She has shown formidable courage and perseverance in the time I've worked with her."

"Gryffindor, isn't she," said Agent Cronin, glancing at a piece of parchment on the end table. "That's one thing in her favor at least." She looked him up and down. "I warrant she does have some courage if she's working alone with you, for - what is it, two hours a week? I can see you've remembered well your lessons in the 'don't suffer fools lightly' department. I hear horror stories about the Hogwarts Potion Master from the staff's children on a regular basis. Good on you. We must turn out wizards and witches with strong backbones."

"Indeed," he muttered.

"You'll find that Miss Granger is a most worthy, and most brave, student," said Dumbledore. "She's a credit to Hogwarts, and she'll want to help the investigation in any way she can. Will you ask her to write an account of her experience from the beginning to the present, Severus?"

"And I want to know everything, Snape," said Agent Cronin. "Memories of the Three Broomsticks, her treatment from her perspective, all of it."

"She is a thorough student. I'm sure she will be concise," said Severus, his stomach churning the tea he'd drunk. At least he was fully awake now.

"Off with you then," she said, "I have some investigating to do. I'll be in your classroom later this afternoon."

Dumbledore said, "Yes, Severus, you may go. Please remember, Agent Cronin knows where you stand, as do I. You have more than earned our trust."

'Have I?' thought Severus. He quickly turned away with no farewell, throwing the Floo powder into the fire and saying "Snape's office."

"Well, Eleanor, what do you think?" asked Dumbledore.

"I think he's none too pleased to see me again," laughed Eleanor Cronin. "Other than that, I can tell he's not strayed. He's still one of ours. I had no doubt of that actually, but I needed to see for myself. He's still quite the brooder, isn't he?"

"Oh yes, Eleanor, and this whole business has affected him even more than when he returned to spying for me. Hermione Granger is a very special student, a highly gifted and genuinely pleasant young lady. She means a lot to all of us, even Severus. From what he has told me, she is making more progress than we dared hope, although she may have limited use of her power from now on."

"A mess this is, and a fine one. I'll be most interested to get to the bottom of it," said Eleanor, rising to her feet. "Don't worry, I'll tread lightly on Severus. He was always one of my favorites. Well, Sir, would you like to come with me to start the investigation? Thought I'd begin at the Three Broomsticks."

"No, Eleanor, I'll leave that in your capable hands. And by the way, you needn't call me Sir. We're not at the Ministry, after all, and I am officially retired," Dumbledore said, his eyes twinkling.

----------------------------------------------------

"Yes!" exclaimed Hermione. She grabbed the work table as a wave of dizziness passed over her. She had transfigured the kettle into a turtle perfectly on the first try. Professor Snape had fine tuned her pain drops since Monday, and the sharp pain in her head had now dissipated into a slight pounding. She felt a small trickle of blood flowing down from her nose. "Damn it," she said annoyed, pulling out her handkerchief. "Professor Snape? Erm.. Sir?"

Severus was staring out the window of the Potions classroom. He had seemed very distracted today. It struck Hermione as very odd, because he was usually attentive, even if he was being unpleasant. "Well, maybe he's anxious for the end of school,' she thought.

"Professor Snape, I did it," she said a bit louder.

"Hmm... " said Severus, turning towards her, "Excuse me, Miss Granger. I was... woolgathering. Oh, very good - no china pattern on the shell this time. How bad is the pain?" He picked up a quill and walked to a opened book on his desk.

Hermione rolled her eyes. He had required her to start rating any pain she felt on a scale of one to ten. "I'd say it's about a five. I only felt a little dizzy, and the nosebleed has already stopped. I want to turn it back now. May I?"

Severus raised an eyebrow, eyeing her for a moment. Hoping she wasn't lying about the intensity of the pain, he nodded.

"Here goes," she said to herself, and she went through the steps of Supero and the Transfiguration. Reverse transfigurations tended to be more difficult, and sure enough the kettle continued plodding along the table when she was finished. Hermione groaned and sat down on her stool. She was feeling much more nauseous this time, but her nose didn't bleed. Her head on the other hand...

"Pain rating?" Severus asked, berating himself for letting her try the reversal.

"Oh.. a seven, I guess," she mumbled, rubbing her temples.

"You guess or you know, Miss Granger? Please be more specific," he snarled.

She glared at him. "I know, Professor Snape." She folded her arms and with her eyes dared him to continue questioning her.

Severus passed a hand over his eyes. "Miss Granger, let's stop here for an early break. Would you please come to my office? I have a matter I need to discuss with you."

Hermione's curiosity was piqued. She could tell that something big must be on his mind. He was never this distracted. She also wondered what on earth it could have to do with her. She followed him into his office and sat upon one of the most uncomfortable wooden chairs she had ever encountered. As she fidgeted in the seat for a more comfortable position, she cast her eyes about his office. She had only ever been in here once, and that was back in her second year when she had hurried in to steal the boomslang skin for the Polyjuice potion. The glass jars packing the shelves glistened with slime and unpleasant looking shadows, and there was a moldy, dusty smell encompassing the entire room. She gave up trying to find a comfortable position.

"Would you like some tea, Miss Granger?"

Hermione nodded her head. "Peppermint, please, Sir. I'm still a bit queasy from the reversal."

"Certainly," said Severus, grimacing. "I shouldn't have let you do so much intense magic today. I've been... distracted." The kettle boiled immediately. He plopped tea bags into two tea cups, and then he dropped a scoop of powdered valerian root in his. He watched her shifting in the chair, and without a word, conjured cushions for the seat and back.

"Thank you, Sir, that is much more comfortable," she said cheerily. He looked so pale and much more dour than usual, and before Hermione could stop herself, she asked, "Professor Snape, is something the matter?"

Severus startled at her kind voice. It would be a comfort to tell someone the intense feelings he was experiencing. It would be nice not to be wracked with guilt. Since neither were going to happen, he changed the subject. "So Miss Granger, are you going home for the holidays?"

Having learned not to press Snape early on, Hermione replied, "Yes, I am. I'm looking forward to having a holiday from... well, from everything."

"Do you have a large family?" said Snape, knowing that for him, this was babbling, but feeling he'd rather talk of innocuous things than the Department of Mysteries.

"No, not really. Mum, Dad, and an older brother. We're separated by thirteen years, though, so we're not really close," Hermione said.

"How are your parents dealing with your injuries? As Muggles, I'm sure it's confusing and frustrating for them not to be able to help you more."

Hermione laughed ruefully into her tea. "Oh, I don't plan to tell them anything. Ever since I started here, they've only gotten the highly censored version of 'Hermione's Life as a Witch'. I haven't even told them I was Petrified. What?"

Severus was staring at her with a look on his face somewhere between astonishment and disapproval. "You are either very naive or very foolish to think that your parents have never been notified of your illnesses or injuries at school. Any time a student is admitted to the hospital wing, his or her parents are immediately sent an owl. You are no exception to the rule, Miss Granger. I myself have corresponded with your parents regarding your poisoning. Did you really think they would never know of the dangers you have so lightheartedly exposed yourself to in your previous years here? I mean to say, you were Petrified for months, and last year you and Potter were in the infirmary for three weeks after you traipsed through the Forbidden Forest. It would be irresponsible for the school not to notify your parents."

Hermione's eyes were as wide as her cup's saucer. She sat, frozen with shock and horror, until she could find the words to speak. "But... but... they've never said anything about... They never seemed to know anything. I was just.. trying to protect them from the... the scary stuff in our world."

"Or trying to protect yourself from being taken away from Hogwarts," said Severus shrewdly. "Oh, that has happened more than once - confused Muggle parents disenrolling their children because of things they couldn't understand in the wizarding world. Your parents are obviously more understanding than you give them credit."

"But why wouldn't they have said anything?" said Hermione, a tinge of panic in her voice.

"Maybe they were waiting for you to bring it up," he replied.

The office went quiet. Hermione couldn't believe this. She had been hiding the truth from her parents all this time, and they had known all along about the dangerous situations she faced. This holiday was obviously not going to be a restful time of pretending things were fine. Then again, that pretending had always been exhausting, and it would almost be a relief to stop hiding important parts of her life from her parents. 'How could they have known and not asked?' she thought.

"Miss Granger, in addition to ruining your charade of a carefree home life, I need to give you a... homework assignment, if you will," Severus began wearily after a few moments had passed. "The investigation of your poisoning has been handed over to the Department of Mysteries. Their representative here has asked for you to write a detailed account of everything you can recall from the day of your poisoning to the present. Details on your treatment are especially of interest. Now is your opportunity to get even with me."

"Why would I want to do that?" Hermione asked, genuinely puzzled.

Before Severus could reply, a figure appeared in the doorway. He was almost glad for the interruption, since once again he could not get over the capacity for forgiveness and trust the student before him possessed. Then he realized who it was at the door, and his stomach curdled.

"Snape, my boy, I'm here as threatened," chortled Agent Cronin. "Ah, is this the victim, then?"

Hermione looked at the small, mischievous looking woman in the doorway. She reminded her of Madame Hooch. She looked back to Snape, who had turned two more shades of pale, with a green tinge. Who was this strange person calling her 'the victim'? Then she noticed the question mark insignia on the woman's collar and realized that she was in the same room as an Unspeakable. They had met one last year, or seen one anyway. Following him been what had led Harry and her to make the ill fated expedition into the Forbidden Forest.

"Her name is Hermione Granger," said Severus, in a furious tone. "She is anything but a victim."

'Is he taking up for me?' thought Hermione in amazement.

"Yes, yes, my boy," said Agent Cronin, "You needn't get hot under the collar. No disrespect was intended." She stopped in front of Hermione and outstretched her hand. "My name is Agent Cronin, Hermione. No doubt Professor Snape here has told you all about me."

Hermione shook her hand in rapt attention. "Well, no, he hasn't really. You're an Unspeakable, aren't you? You're here on the investigation?"

"Right you are, Miss Granger," said Agent Cronin, transfiguring one of the hard back chairs into an overstuffed arm chair. "Have you asked her to write her account of the events, Snape?"

"Yes," Severus said, staring into his tea.

"Very good. Well, my dear," she said to Hermione, "I have business with your teacher, so I'll need to ask you to run along now."

"We weren't finished with her healing session," protested Severus.

"You are now," said Agent Cronin with a pleasant smile that looked as if it could turn unpleasant at any moment.

Hermione was watching the two adults closely. She had never seen Professor Snape look so cowed by anyone. Surely he wasn't under investigation. "You know, Professor Snape has really helped me ever since I was poisoned," she blurted out, "I would've been lost without him."

Agent Cronin looked her straight in the face. For a moment, all Hermione could focus on was her sparkling, gray eyes. It felt like they were seeing into her and through her.

"Yes, child, I can see that," Agent Cronin said with a gentle smile.

"I need to give Hermione her medications for the holiday break before she leaves," said Severus, standing up and clumsily leaving the office. "Excuse me for one moment."

Agent Cronin watched him leave and chuckled. It was good to see that she had had such a lasting influence on her former pupil. She noticed Hermione watching her inquisitively. She was used to that as an Unspeakable.

"Agent Cronin?" Hermione asked tentatively. She probably shouldn't be doing this, but she knew she'd regret passing up an opportunity like this. Agent Cronin looked at her kindly, as if anticipating what she was going to say. "I know you can't tell me what you do, but I was wondering... how does one become an Unspeakable? I was thinking of becoming an Auror, but with my condition as it is, I'm thinking I need to have other options. What courses are recommended? Do you need a certain number of N.E.W.T.'s?"

Agent Cronin hadn't quite expected this particular question. "Well, child, typically prospective candidates are identified for training in their last year of school. Grades aren't really of importance, although good marks are nice to have in our line of work. A quick way we recruit is by this: tell me what I'm thinking."

Hermione was a bit confused by this, but the older woman's gray eyes were on hers again, shutting out the rest of the world around her. Try as she might, she couldn't see a thought or hear a word. "Nothing, Ma'am, I can't tell," she said disappointedly.

"Well then, dear, don't fret," said Agent Cronin softly, "Unspeakables are a rare breed. You'll find a way to fight Voldemort that will suit your strengths. You'll be most formidable when you find your correct path."

Severus walked back into the office with two stoppered bottles. "You haven't been alarming my student with.. stories of the past, have you, Agent Cronin?" he said darkly.

"How paranoid of you, my dear boy," she replied.

Severus ignored her as best he could, which to be truthful, was not very well. Turning to Hermione, he said, "This will be enough of both of your potions for the remainder of the holidays. You must keep on schedule with the Magnifying potion, but since you shouldn't be doing magic, you shouldn't need the pain drops. Get some rest, Miss Granger. And do speak with your parents; it will do you all good to not have secrets between you."

"I'll try, Sir," she said. "Nice to meet you, Agent Cronin." Hermione picked up the potion bottles. "I'll send our owl to you with my report, as soon as I finish, Professor Snape."

Hermione walked to the doorway, aware of the tension simmering in the room she was leaving. She turned back and smiled at Professor Snape, who was looking sicker by the minute. "Um.. Happy Christmas, Professor Snape. I hope you have a nice holiday."

"Thank you, Miss Granger," he replied, with no feeling. Then with a quick glance towards Agent Cronin, he said, "Happy Christmas to you as well." He looked so sad when he said this that Hermione wished she could order him to go to the Tranquillity Parlor as Dumbledore had. It looked like he needed something drastic to help his mood.

When she had gone, Agent Cronin said, "You were right. She's a strong one. Smart as a whip, as well. You know, Snape, I don't plan on torturing you or causing any more pain than you already allot yourself. I simply need to ascertain the truth. I requested this assignment because I knew your whole story. Others would not be so kind, even with Dumbledore protecting you."

"I realize that," he said sharply. "Can you just get on with it?" Severus sank back into his desk chair. This would likely be the least Happy Christmas he had faced in many a year.