Regaining

Professor Snape had walked with Hermione to the Fat Lady's portrait and had then slipped away with a quiet "Good evening, Miss Granger." Hermione said the password and walked into the common room. The room was loud as usual with students playing Exploding Snap and Wizard's Chess or sitting around chatting and laughing. She scanned the room and saw Harry sitting alone at one of the study tables. She walked over to him. Harry looked up with surprise and relief.

"Where have you been?" he asked. "We were getting frantic until Dumbledore sent us a note. What on earth happened?"

"Oh, Harry, it's such a long and complicated story," sighed Hermione. "Where's Ron?"

"He's in the library," said Harry, his eyes glittering, "with Eleanor Devereaux - you know, that 5th year Hufflepuff he's had his eye on. They are studying, or so he claims. But don't try to change the subject."

Already the feelings of calm from the Tranquillity Parlor were fading away. She didn't regret anything that she had said or done, but she was discouraged to feel the real world settle into her thoughts again. She sat down beside Harry, her eyes downcast and thoughtful. "Professor Snape and I were... working out something having to do with my healing. I don't want to go into it just now." She glanced at him. "Besides, I know you get tired of hearing me moan and complain. I don't want to wear out your ear."

Harry turned in his chair so that he was facing her. "Hermione, I will always be here for you. I won't ever get tired of listening to whatever you have to say. Especially right now -- you need to talk about what you're going through."

Hermione smiled faintly. "Listen, I'm going up to my room for a few minutes to eat something. I don't really feel like talking, but could we play chess or something later? I'd like to keep my mind occupied by something not having to do with my condition for awhile."

"That sounds fine," said Harry, smiling. Hermione was usually so busy with her studies that she rarely played games anymore. He would be happy to let her relax and forget awhile. However, he would be happier if she would talk about what was bothering her. He could clearly see that something was not right.

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When Hermione awoke on Friday morning, she stayed in bed for awhile trying to think. Crookshanks had come to sit on her chest, and she found that petting him as he purred warmth into her body made the thinking somewhat easier. She and Harry had played two games of chess last night, but they had spent most of the time laughing about how bad they both still were at the game. Ron had come back from the library and had joined them. He had tried to give a few serious pointers before giving up totally, and the three had spent the rest of the evening reminiscing about happier times. She had gone to bed feeling better. With the light of the new day, she found herself conflicted again. She had made her decision to continue her course of treatment with Professor Snape. She would not go back on that. She wanted to get on with her life, and she knew Snape was the most logical person to help her do that. That knowledge did not make things any easier.

'If only he hadn't been so ghastly all these years,' she thought. 'Well, there's nothing for it.' She gently moved Crookshanks off of her and got ready to face the day.

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This was the third day in a row that she had felt good physically, and she had used it to catch up on course work and read a bit more of the medical texts in between classes. She was having a bit of trouble with her homework though. It was taking her an extra read through to remember certain parts of her Transfiguration and Charms lessons. She didn't actually have homework in either class, but she had wanted to stay current with what the classes were covering. Her Arithmancy assignments were no problem, but it was as if the words slipped away when she tried to read from her other magic texts. She attributed this to being tired; she was still exhausted enough to need a nap during the early afternoon. Other than that, she felt well. Or perhaps not well, but well enough to keep pushing to get better.

When 4:00 rolled around she made her way down to the dungeons. On the stairs to the Potions classroom, she felt the now familiar stirring of uncertainty. She mentally pushed it away. She was determined to regain her powers, and if Snape was the only one who could help her, then she would just have to deal with it. 'Come on, Hermione,' she thought, as she approached the door, 'It's not going to be fluffy kittens and chocolate frogs, but it will have to be bearable.' She walked inside.

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Severus had been aware of the important change that had occurred last night. While Hermione probably did not forgive him all the way, she had forgiven him enough to let him help her. He had decided that he would simply be as professional and informative as he could be. He knew that she would appreciate him being a detached yet helpful instructor. As 4:00 approached, he was a bit concerned about what her state of mind would be. He hoped to show her much today and get to work on her recovery with full force. When he saw her walk in the classroom, he put aside the papers he was grading and walked to the front student table where he had several parchments spread out.

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Hermione was surprised to see Professor Snape waiting for her, after being so summarily dismissed the day before. She walked up to the table, put down her note taking parchments, and waited a moment in silence.

"How are you feeling today, Miss Granger," Severus said with a bit of hesitation.

"I'm pretty well," she replied. "Not too tired. Not too overwrought, thank Merlin." She smiled slightly. "I'm ready to start getting better. What are we going to do today?"

Severus looked her over for a moment. She did look much more relaxed than she had yesterday. "I want to be honest with you, Miss Granger," he said, "I was very concerned about your... emotional state after what transpired yesterday. I'm glad you're here today. I won't dwell on what... we discussed, but I will say I admire your courage. I know this is not easy."

"No, Sir, it's not. Can we get started?" She said this with as calm a voice as she could muster.

"I have written a schedule for you of what I expect to cover in these sessions," Severus said. "It is flexible, of course, depending on your needs and rate of recovery. Please take time to peruse it later. For today, I would like to perform another brain scan and teach you a charm which I hope will prove helpful to you. I would also like to begin assessing what magical abilities you have retained."

"That sounds fine. Thank you for the effort to include me in my own recovery," she said, a bit wryly as she took the scroll he handed her. Severus bristled a bit at the tone in her voice, but then reminded himself to stop. 'Don't make things worse than they already are,' he said to himself.

Hermione had found her previous brain scan parchment. She had activated the diagram with her wand, and she felt the shock of seeing the damage to her brain all over again. "The Magnifying potion should make the brain activity work more normally, yes?" she asked.

Severus nodded. "It should. Mind you, the newer brew is not as powerful as the first. I hope to build the potion's strength over time to be more effective. You must take it slowly, though. Side effects can be unpredictable when dealing with potions of this strength. On that note, I sent a request to St. Mungo's for the abstract on the pain drops. Have you been taking the drops today?"

"Yes, I took a dosage right before I left my dormitory," Hermione replied. "Thank you for sending for the information." There was an awkward pause as they both looked at anything besides each other. Hermione broke the silence. "Well, Sir, I am ready to begin. For the scan, shall I do Wingardium Leviosa again?"

"Please, Miss Granger," he replied, taking out the spell instructions from his pocket.

Hermione sent a quill into the air with ease. She tried to catch some of the Latin Snape was mumbling this time, since pain wasn't crushing through her skull. 'I wonder if you can do this on yourself?' she thought. 'That would be handy.'

When he was done, he pointed his wand towards a blank parchment and once more commanded "Scribo." Hermione watched with bated breath as the image developed on the paper. This time she felt relieved to see much more of her brain working. There were still bare spots where the energy was not flowing, and many more patches where a small stream of yellow connected different areas of her brain together, but it was much better than the first scanned image. She took a deep breath of relief and tapped the figure to see different views. It seemed that the right hemisphere had taken the most damage. There were more bare spots here than on the left side. Severus stood back to let her have as much undisturbed time as she needed to take this in. He was very concerned about the damage to her right hemisphere. That side had been shown to be the center for the abstract spells and magic such as Transfiguration and Charms. The left side housed the center for the more analytical magic such as Potion brewing. 'Only time will tell what she has really lost,' he thought. 'Time and much hard work, I fear.'

Finally, Hermione broke the silence. "I asked my parents to send me a Muggle book on brain injuries. I told them it was for a research paper I was writing in Muggle Studies. In it there was a comparison of damage to the neurons of the brain being like a bad Muggle car crash involving lots of people. Some die straight away. Some are injured so badly that they die a few hours or days later. Some never work quite right ever again, but some are not harmed. I guess when you factor in magic helpers like the Magnifying potion, that changes the comparison a bit, but still... This is not an exact science. If you hadn't been there the day I was poisoned, I would be much worse off than I am, wouldn't I?"

"Your brain could have been damaged much more severely if immediate action had not been taken. I was able, luckily, to provide an antidote. The poison was countered quickly, so with any luck, that will greatly improve your chances of recovery."

"I've been trying a few spells in my room," said Hermione. "I'm having some small success with simple charms, but Transfiguration... I'm worried, Professor Snape. What if I can't... " The tears had started to sting in her eyes again. "What if I can't do magic? What will become of me?"

"Miss Granger, we have quite a long way to go before you can give up hope. Let's stop with the 'what ifs' until such a time as they are warranted." His voice was stern, but not cruel.

"Of course, Sir," she said, daubing her eyes quickly, "The realization of all this still hits me with a shock whenever I think of... what has changed for me."

"Perhaps you have too much time to think, now that you are feeling better," he replied. "What would you say to resuming Potions and one of your electives next week. I understand you are taking Creative Arts of the Wizarding World? That should not overly strain you."

"I think I would do well with more things to keep me busy. What was the charm you wanted to teach me?" Hermione said, indicating the open book in front of Professor Snape.

Severus turned the book towards her. "It is called Supero. Do you know what that term means?"

"Of course I do," she said with eagerness. "It means to rise above, or to overcome." Noticing his look of approval she added, "I've taken Latin courses over summer holidays."

"Very wise of you," he said, and then continued with a scowl, "Too many rely only on Translation spells these days, which are not always accurate. Now then, the Supero charm is used in cases of magic users who have difficulty with specific kinds of complex magic. It is also used for those who have little magical capability at all. It strengthens the spells by focusing the energy and power of the person who is using it. Supero is not, however, an easy charm to master. Please read the description of Supero in this book. You will need to practice it for some time before you can use it correctly."

She read the page once. Then with a frown, she read the page again. The first time the words hadn't been clear to her, like when she had been trying to study earlier. Usually one quick scan of articles such as this was sufficient. The second read through helped a great deal, but she was concerned. Severus had also noticed that she'd read it twice. Her furrowed brow made him uneasy.

"Is something the matter, Miss Granger?" he asked.

"No... well, yes. Maybe," she replied. "I've noticed I'm having trouble reading and remembering information as well as usual. But only for certain things, like Transfiguration and Charms lessons. Do you think that is something that could be a concern?"

"It is possible," he said. "I have another parchment of Hightower and Goyle's research to show you."

He reached for a roll of parchment and began unrolling it across the table. Hermione read the title. Gleanings from Muggle Science: Or How We Can Better Understand the Brain Using Magical Means and Muggle Knowledge, Parchment 1a.

Like the other research parchments Snape had shown her, this one had a figure of a brain. This time it was mapped out into sections. She read on.

The Brain and Its Workings

Muggle scientists have begun interesting work with rudimentary mappings of the human brain. Specific areas have been revealed to control the bodily functions and the perceptions. We have gone further to map the magical brain and its control centers. The majority of magical energy circulates through the cerebral cortex. The cerebral cortex has two hemispheres, both of which are autonomous from each other in regards to function and memory storage. The hemispheres are joined by the corpus collosum. The left hemisphere controls the areas of language, mathematics skill, logic, and analysis. This hemisphere is most active when brewing potions, performing calculations, and during problem solving. The right hemisphere houses the control of spatial awareness, visual perception, musical ability, and creativity. The parietal region of the right hemisphere is more specifically the area which multisensory information is processed. It is most active when spells, charms, divination, and transfiguration are performed. We intend to go more in depth as per the actual workings of the brain throughout this series.

Hermione grabbed the parchment with her latest brain scan and compared it to the diagram. The section most damaged was the parietal region, along with the rest of the right hemisphere. "Oh no," she said softly. Severus had been watching her closely. He had already come to the conclusion she was making once he had seen the new scan. The memories enclosed in the most damaged areas might be impaired, but the main concern was that Hermione's center for abstract magic had been seriously harmed.

"If your memory has been affected, there are many ways to improve the memory you have," he said, trying his very best to sound comforting.

"Let me guess, a Memory potion," she said, crestfallen.

"If it comes to that, yes. But there are other ways to retrain your memory. We should worry about them if the time comes. The memory loss and the difficulty retaining information you are experiencing may be a temporary result of the damage to your brain. That is very common, apparently. As you said yourself, this is not an exact science."

"Could we contact Hightower and Goyle, Sir?" Hermione asked hopefully. "I mean, they know so much about the magical brain. Surely they could help."

Severus was silent for a moment. "If they were available, I would have owled them straight-away. Unfortunately, they became enemies of the Dark Lord when they published their research. They were assassinated over twenty years ago."

Hermione clenched her fists, and her face twisted in anger. "I would take great personal pleasure in watching that vile bastard die slowly and painfully," Hermione said in a chilling voice.

Severus changed the subject before she could dwell much longer on Voldemort. "We know that due to the specific area damaged, Transfiguration and Charms will probably be more difficult for you to relearn. They won't be impossible, just difficult. The Supero will help you with that. On the positive side, your left hemisphere has not sustained that much damage. You already mentioned that Arithmancy has caused you no issues, and your Potions skills should also be less of a problem to recover. Now summarize what you read about the Supero charm."

Hermione glanced at the book again and then said, "The charm is basically a centering spell in which you are to visualize the results of whatever magic is being invoked. Then you point your wand at yourself and say "Supero" either silently or in a whisper. It doesn't sound very difficult to me." Hermione looked up with a smile. "I shall go home tonight and try this on a Transfiguration spell."

Severus raised on eyebrow and with a smirk said, "I shall be surprised if you can, Miss Granger, but you do have the tendency to be surprising. Now, why don't we start your assessment. I think we should start slowly with first year potions?"

"Why not?" she said, pushing up her sleeves.

Severus conjured a cauldron and vials of ingredients onto the table before her. "Very well, why don't we start with a simple Burn Relief potion. Here is Magical Drafts and Potions, if you need it as a reference. It has been six years since you brewed these potions afterall, and I am not as yet testing your memory."

Hermione automatically reached for the ingredients and began the simple potion. She had no trouble. She kindled the magical fire for the cauldron and activated the potion's contents. In a few moments, the Burn Relief potion was ready. Severus pronounced it accurate, and he gave her the next potion assignment. This one Hermione remembered, but she still looked it up in the book to make sure. The rest of the session went by quickly with Hermione brewing several more potions, all done to perfection. Towards the end of the hour, though, Hermione felt an ache well up behind her eyes, and she began to move more slowly. Severus called the session to an end when he noticed her rubbing her forehead after brewing a slightly more complex Snail Rendering potion.

"I think I've seen enough for this evening" he said as he whisked away the equipment with a wave of his wand. He gave her a piercing stare and asked, "Miss Granger, how badly does your head hurt?"

"Not badly, Sir. It just aches. I'm a bit tired is all," she said.

"Hmm, I may have asked you to do too much at once. I will make sure you have a break next session. Are you still sure about resuming your other two classes next week?"

"Oh yes, please," she said, "I'm more than ready. Are we finished then?"

"Yes, we are," he said. After a pause he continued, "I am pleased with your efforts tonight."

"Well, honestly, I should be able to do those potions in my sleep." She gathered up the parchment scroll on the pain drops and the Supero book. "See you on Monday?"

"Indeed, Miss Granger," Severus said.