Regaining

I have read a lot of fan fic. If I have borrowed anything from stories and not recognized the original, it is because plot bunnies hop in random order to various people coincidentally. Themes may seem familiar, but no ripping off is intended. :)

Chapter 4: Revealing

Revealing - 2. exposing to view; showing

Hermione sat down at a table in the middle of the potions classroom room. Severus looked up to see an extremely petulant expression on her face. 'Oh well, this is going to be jolly good fun,' he thought to himself. He had been dreading this meeting as much, if not more, than she had. He had the technical knowledge to help her. The Magnifying potion was ready, and he had developed a more specific pain killer for her headaches. However, from what the healer from St. Mungo's had shared with him, there were always intensive emotions that went with serious injuries and recoveries. He was definitely not prepared to deal with that. He had found teenagers to be a maelstrom of emotions that under normal circumstances he tried to avoid like the Black Plague. He slipped into his usual "Five points from Gryffindor" teaching mode in preparation for dealing with the uncertainties of the next hour.

"Miss Granger, I assume you have been informed why you are supposed to be here?" he asked with a cold voice that came much too easily.

Hermione nodded, still glaring.

"You will not find a friend or confidant here, Miss Granger," he continued. "I have been charged with trying to make you better, and I will do my duty as best I can. You will think of this as an independent study class. And as with any of my classes, you will receive no special treatment."

"What a surprise," Hermione muttered under her breath. "May I have permission to speak, sir?" she said in a snide voice which rivaled his.

"What is it?" he snapped, a bit warily.

"Why are you doing this?" she demanded, "You aren't a Healer. It is obvious that you hate me. Why bother?" She looked up at him defiantly.

"Valid question," he said, his eyes closed to slits. He wanted very much to be furious with her, to throw her out of his dungeon classroom and be left in peace. He was, however, surprised to find himself rather pleased at her defiance. If she had come to him in her usual know-it-all, future Head Girl manner, he would have been truly annoyed. He understood anger. This Hermione he might be able to deal with better. He also found an inconvenient mix of his own emotions coming to the forefront. Battling in his conscience was more than a fair amount of guilt over having been the cause of this and anger at having to deal with it. A sympathy he hadn't expected was present as well - the child looked so very tired. He closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and spoke again, working very hard to make his voice less harsh. "Miss Granger, I am not a Healer, no. But I know a great deal about the poison you were given, and how I may go about countering its effects. To be a Potions master, one must have a great deal of knowledge about human physiology. As to your allegation-" he paused, making eye contact with her, "I do not hate you. In fact, you are one of the few students whose talent and intelligence I have come to admire, though I am sure you will be greatly surprised to know it. I simply do not appreciate class interruptions or peers who coddle those who can not do for themselves. Now, may we begin?"

Hermione watched him with suspicion, but she felt some of the raw anger fading in the face of facts. The Headmaster had told her much the same as Snape had. Well, except for the not hating her part, but she was still not too sure about that.

Severus noticed her reluctance. "I, of course, have several texts borrowed from St. Mungo's medical library regarding magical brain injury. These are for you to read at your leisure." He had been hoping her well known love of books and research would work to both their benefits during these sessions.

Hermione's eyes brightened slightly. She had already been to the library, looking for that exact information and finding nothing of use. "All right," she said finally, getting up from her stool and moving closer to where he stood at the front of the room, "What can you do for me?"

Severus smiled wryly. "First of all, I would like to show you something." He reached down and unrolled a large scroll and spread it out over the table. "This is a small part of a large body of research done by two renowned healers and researchers, Caldonia Hightower and Alphonsus Goyle."

Hermione looked down at the scroll, "Goyle?" she said thinking out loud, "Not related to Gregory, I hope?"

To her astonishment, Snape laughed softly. "As I recall, they are extremely distant relations."

Hermione stared at Snape. Had he actually made a joke about one of his beloved Slytherins? She ventured a small smile.

'Just start reading... if I can reach her strictly on an intellectual level, we both may survive this,' thought Severus.

"Please, Miss Granger, sit." He gestured to the empty stool beside her.

The parchment showed color diagrams of two brains. Areas inside each of the figures were lighting up to show what she guessed was the electrical activity present in the brains. The labels above each diagram read "Figure A: Witch of Non-Muggle Parentage performing Wingardium Leviosa" and "Figure B: Witch of Muggle Parentage performing same".

Hermione sat down and began reading the text.

On the Differences in Brain Activity in the Wizarding World, Parchment 3a: The Brain Waves in Magic Users of Muggle and Non-Muggle Descent by Caldonia Hightower and Alphonsus Goyle, Co-Directors of the Neurological Research Facility at St. Mungo's Hospital

We, the co-writers if this document, would like to clearly state that this research is being done out of intellectual curiosity and for no other reasons. There are differences in the physiology of Muggle born and non-Muggle born witches and wizards. This does not imply that these differently descended members of the magical community are in any way inferior or superior. The human brain is as varied as the human individual housing it. We simply find some general patterns of difference which we find intriguing.

Hermione looked up. "When was this research done?"

"About the time the Dark Lord started to rise in power," Severus said. "Hightower and Goyle were among the first and most outspoken critics of the resurgence of racism based on Muggle heritage. Their work is held to be the most definitive proof in the wizarding world that the Muggle-born are in no ways inferior." He paused for a moment, then continued. "However, this does not mean that the research is accepted by all. Science is not always appreciated or even acknowledged in the wizarding world."

Hermione nodded. She had noticed that science as applied to magic was rarely alluded to in classes or in magic books. She began reading again, growing more and more fascinated.

Please regard Figure A (tap figure for more detailed picture or for change of view). Note how the brain waves flow as the magical activity of the subject is mapped.

Hermione tapped the diagram with her wand, wincing slightly as a small pain flashed inside of her head and then subsided. It changed from a drawing on paper to a three dimensional figure floating above the table. Patterns of yellow energy pulsed and throbbed and then looped over and over again.

The main area of magical brain wave activity is in the cerebral cortex and most specifically in the parietal region as already discussed in Parchment 1a through d (Gleanings from Muggle Science: or How We Can Better Understand the Brain Using Magical Means and Muggle Knowledge). Also regard the way the brain waves move up and down the brain stem into the spinal column. This is of most importance. While the cerebral cortex energies vary from individual to individual regardless of heritage, the way the magical energy patterns travels is markedly different between individuals of Muggle and Non-Muggle parentage. Please tap figure B.

Hermione did so, and now two brains were floating in front of her. She observed the glowing energy, enthralled that there existed in the wizarding world a level of science this precise and intriguing.

Watching both figures, one can observe the two main differences in physiology between the subjects. In the area of the brain stem, the magical energy forms two pathways flowing back and forth to the spinal column and the nervous system. In humans of Non-Muggle parentage, the two pathways stay closer together than those of Muggle Parentage. As the pathways reach the cerebral cortex, they flow into the brain in distinctly different areas.

Hermione tapped both diagrams at the brain stem for a closer look, and then at the specific spots on the cerebral cortex which were highlighted. What she could not get over was how much of both brains were lighting up with activity. She remembered reading Muggle anatomy textbooks and seeing representations of PET scans. So much of the brain surface in those pictures seemed so empty and dark. Magical brains seemed to utilize almost the entire brain.

"How did they scan these brains?" she asked suddenly. "In the Muggle world, machines are used. What kind of magic is needed to get these representations."

Severus reached for a small piece of parchment in his robe pocket. "I will show you. Or at least I will attempt to show you. I have the incantation here. Sit as still as you can while you perform Wingardium Leviosa on this quill. That will enable us to compare your results to the figures before us."

Hermione closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She swished and flicked as she had done so easily for years. "Wingardium Leviosa!" she called. The quill jerked clumsily into the air and hovered a few inches above the table. The pain in her head was so intense she bit her lip, but she sat as still as she could. She felt Snape's wand swishing over her head in swift slicing motions as he muttered a stream of Latin she could not quite hear.

Severus was fully concentrating on the spell he was invoking. He had not done an incantation like this before, but he was familiar enough with this research to feel fairly comfortable in trying. "All right," he said after a moment, "You can relax. Scribo!" He pointed his wand at a blank parchment. A bright blue light burst forth from the end of it. The light began skimming back and forth across the surface of the parchment, and as Hermione watched in amazement, a diagram began to form of her brain. Unlike the other diagrams, the yellow flows of energy were patchy and pale. There were gaps along the brain stem and into the cerebral cortex where the energy spanned across in thin strands or not all. The right side of her brain had almost no activity besides a few wispy strands straining to connect with the left side's energy patterns. Hermione looked forlornly at the sight of her damaged brain. She was rather surprised to see that Snape was looking quite happy.

"Ah, this is excellent," he said, as if to himself. "This is better than we could have hoped for."

"What?" asked Hermione, baffled. "What on earth do you mean?"

"The poison you were given - the Leeching Elixir - was originally designed to completely destroy the specific neural pathways through which the magic of Muggle born wizards traveled. With those pathways gone, the magical energy would be leeched out of the system, having nowhere else to go. This version of the elixir has only attacked certain segments of your neural pathways." Severus paused, and then said in a disdainful tone, "This is a much less effective potion."

"But I am still essentially brain damaged, am I not? Wingardium Leviosa was one of the first spells I learned when I started here. You saw how I could barely even levitate that wretched quill."

"Oh yes, there has been damage," Severus nodded, preoccupied with writing notes on a parchment he had summoned.

"Will it... I mean to say, can it be fixed?" Hermione felt the familiar feeling of despair as she watched her dismal brain activity repeat itself.

Severus looked up and saw her pale, frightened face with such dark smudges under her eyes. He had seen the same quality of hopelessness staring back at him from the mirror many a time. He stepped closer towards her, not really sure why he was doing so until he found himself awkwardly patting her hand. He had seen others do this when trying to comfort someone in pain. Hermione didn't flinch away as she had wanted to at first. His hand was warm over her cold skin, and his look of- was it concern?- did make her feel somewhat better.

"Miss Granger," he said softly, "because your neural pathways have not been obliterated as I had feared, I am confident that the Magic Magnifying potion I have brewed may be enough to allow your remaining magical energies to jump past the deadened areas. You may have to take this potion regularly for the rest of your life, but I think that, in time, you will be able to regain most of your powers." He reached into one of his robe's pocket. "Here is the Magnifying potion. It will be the most suitable."

She took it from him and swallowed the liquid which left a vaguely slimy coating in her mouth but tasted like peppermint. "I didn't realize peppermint was used for conducting magical energy," she said.

Severus looked a bit chagrined. "It's not," he said. "I thought you might like that flavor over the taste of Gore Slug pus."

Hermione shuddered. "Thanks ever so." She was feeling a strange sensation vibrating throughout her body. It was like power was welling and throbbing inside of her. It felt disconcerting and pleasurable at the same time. Where she had been cold a moment ago, now she felt quite warm.

Severus noticed the flush on her face. Magnifying potions were a controlled substance for a reason.

"Try Wingardium Leviosa once more," he said.

Hermione was feeling very good now, much better than she had since she had been poisoned. She felt like she could do anything. She pointed the wand at the quill. "Wingardium Leviosa!" she called with a strong voice that seemed amplified in her head. The quill shot up into the air with no hesitation. It then fell immediately when Hermione grabbed her head in renewed pain.

"Oh, oh, ow," she moaned. "It hurts so badly. Why does it hurt so much?"

Severus sighed. "I am not entirely sure. It may be due to the damage inflicted upon your brain, or it may another hidden element of the potion at work. I will have to do more tests. In the meantime, I have pain drops for you." He went to his desk, disabled a Locking charm on a top drawer, and brought her another vial. "This is quite potent, but it will not dull your mind. Both vials have a charm that will not allow you to take more of a dosage than prescribed, or more frequently than prescribed. I ask you not to try to break the charm. You may have a dose of these drops every six to eight hours. If the pain is not being controlled, go to the hospital wing or come to me."

"Are these medicines that dangerous?" said Hermione. She was holding a vial in each hand and looking from one to the other worriedly.

"Yes," Severus replied. "They most certainly can be if used improperly. I have designed them to help you though, and not hurt you."

Hermione unscrewed the pain drops stopper and swallowed what felt like a very small amount of tasteless fluid. The pain in her head was smothered into a faint aching. "It worked," she said, closing her eyes in relief.

"I think it is time to conclude for the evening," Severus said abruptly. He was glad he could have done this much for her at least. Her condition would never be pleasant, but thank Merlin, it could be controlled. As he stacked the medical texts and parchments and pushed them towards her, he said, "It's time for you to get back to your dormitory, and it's time for me to get some work done. I will see you on Thursday. I'll ask you to perform several charms and spells to assess where your magic levels are now." He paused, then said in an authoritative voice, "Have a rest before dinner."

"Yes, sir," she replied, "Though I feel almost myself again now that the pain and the fatigue have lessened." She scooped up the stack of texts, and he began to usher her towards the door.

"Take the Magnifying potion at breakfast and dinner. Take the pain drops-"

"Every six to eight hours, yes Sir." Hermione stopped at the doorway and turned towards him. It was still rather scary knowing she would have to work so closely with him, but he knew what he was doing at least. He had made her feel better, and not one point from Gryffindor had been lost. That was encouraging. "Professor Snape?" she said.

"Yes, Miss Granger," he said warily, hoping she wouldn't launch into questions that would delay him further.

"Thank you, sir," she said shyly, and then she left rather hastily. Severus watched her go for a moment and then closed the door to the classroom. He couldn't recall when anyone had told him thank you in such a sweet and innocent way, or even if such a thing had ever happened. He wasn't quite sure he deserved it.