The Darkness Beyond

I love to watch you sleep at night,

To hear you breath,

By my side

And although sleep leaves me behind,

There's nowhere I'd rather be.

-DIDO-

Alone she sat in the darkened room watching the slow movement of the clock. The ache pulsed within her chest and she felt the familiar pull of her breath. They said it got better with time, but they were wrong. It had been over two years since that night, and still she thought about him.

She thought about his smile, his laugh, and the way that he could effortlessly turn her over in bed. She loved the way that her heart skipped a beat when he kissed her. She remembered that one most of all, and it was that memory that caused her the most pain. Knowing that all the kisses, touches and smiles had been a lie. Somewhere inside her memory recalled a night of kisses.

She had only seen him occasionally in the past, but that night when they had formally met had changed her life. She remembered feeling an unfamiliar warmth wash over her as they spoke, and when they finally ended up in bed, they spent most of the night talking. The feeling of his tousled hair on her chest caused her to smile. She could still feel the length of it when she remembered the nights alone. She couldn't believe how things could have changed so quickly and with such force. One day they had been laughing together, and the next there had been the slip into darkness. He had never physically done anything to her; he knew he didn't need to. The way that his voice had subtly changed, and the coolness of his touch had done enough. He no longer smiled and laughed with her. Now he taunted her and played with her, knowing that her love for him blinded the truth.

Where there had once been such light and happiness, there was now a darkness that knew no bounds. Her pain had cast such a blanket of silence over her, that she wandered the earth in her own dark world. The past constantly replaying and revealing the truth to her. Only now, was she able to see truth. Only now, after so long was she able to feel it.

Her friends and family had tried to tell her about his "other side", but she couldn't see it. All she could see was the outline of his body in the sun as he stood watching. She couldn't see the smoke trailing from his hand and the smell that overpowered him. She knew that he was moving away from her, but she couldn't accept it. Even when it had finally come to the end, when he had declared his allegiance to the dark side, she hadn't wanted to accept her life without him.

Night after night they had met under moonlit secrecy. Holding each other in the dark, she had thought about him and the times that they had had before the darkness took over. How he had changed. No longer the smooth, contoured body that she was so familiar with, now there was a harshness that overtook him. She knew he was no longer hers. The ache had started then. The ache that overtook her sometimes, making her chest squeeze and her breath ragged. She could feel it now and despaired at the hopelessness of it all. She ached for him, but she had known from the last moment that they had touched, that he was no longer hers. He moved differently and his lips were harder as if the comfort and love they had once shared, had been sucked dry. She knew that she would never feel his touch again. Never hear his voice saying her name again. It was over, and for that reason she knew she couldn't stay here. Everyone had been so caring that she had wanted to run so many times, but she knew they were right. She should have seen it all along, from that first moment that they had touched. Why her? It had amazed her, the bond between them. But now it was gone and he was somewhere away from her aching body.

She remembered the fear she had felt when she heard his laugh. The green glow, that surrounded him as he fought with her. Until then she had not believed, and until then she had not seen. He had come out of nowhere as she walked through the woods near the manor, and she had been shocked to see the change in him. That night would be the first and only time that she would see his real side. It had seemed like an age that they had stood facing each other, and when it was over, she had been more alone than ever before.

Her friends had tried to be helpful, and caring, but it wasn't the same anymore. She was tired and alone and all she wanted was to go back to the beginning. She wanted to go back to the day that they had met and change it all, but she knew she couldn't. She knew that people looked at her differently. No longer was she the star, but she was the one who had let him get away. It had to end. She was tired and knew that it was coming to a close. When she had received the letter, she had been apprehensive to accept the proposal, but she knew that the only option was to make it all better. "Let's start again" she thought.

A gentle knocking startles her.

Time to go says the clock on the wall.

It is time to be normal again.

What is normal?

Slowly she rises from her sadness, pulling off her black veil she leaves it on the table.

Hermione steps out of the darkness.