Power

Power.

Everyone wants it. Everyone craves it. Everyone, deep down, wants to be admired, wants to be respected, wants to be feared. But there is a difference between want and need, and it is when someone needs something, becomes dependent on it, then that is when they become weak.

The Dark Lord wanted power - and unlike most, he was strong enough to seek it. He went from strength to strength, gaining followers, pouring fear into the hearts of others. Oh, he was powerful - one of the most powerful wizards of our time. However, it was when he stopped just desiring power, when he became addicted to it - that was when he started to fall.

He fell... but I didn't.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Severus, what are you doing?"

I recognised the voice at once and snapped the book shut, pushing it under my bed. "Nothing," I said sullenly, turning to face the man standing in the doorway, glaring at me.

"Liar," he spat. Such a harsh, bitter word. I hunched up against the bed, my head down. I didn't want to look at him. I heard, rather than saw, him walk into the room and come and stand next to me.

"Get out of the way," he said sharply.

"I wasn't doing anything."

"Severus, don't make me ask you again." His tone of voice was soft and dangerous. I knew better than to argue.

I edged away from the bed and over to the corner of the room, still refusing to make eye contact. He reached under the bed and pulled out the book I had been reading.

"'A Young Wizard's Guide to the Dark Arts'," he read aloud. I couldn't see his face, but in my head I could see all to well the expression he was wearing. That grim set to his jaw, the cold look in his eyes that he got whenever he caught me with anything related to magic.

"Eileen!" he barked suddenly. There was a pause; then I heard footsteps coming up the stairs and my mother's breathless voice in the doorway.

"Yes, Tobias?"

I looked up for the first time to see my father toss the book across the room. It skidded across the floor and landed at my mother's feet. She didn't pick it up, but I knew she had seen the title as her face paled.

"Did you know our son was reading this sort of thing, Eileen?" he asked in that soft, dangerous voice of his that I knew all too well. He was angry - very angry. I knew what was coming next and squeezed my eyes shut.

"I - d-didn't -" My mother seemed to be at a loss for words.

"Answer me," My father said, some of his anger creeping into his voice.

"He's just taking an interest in what he is, Tobias!" Mother said defensively. "What he can do... what he will be able to do!"

I heard my father's heavy footsteps echo across the bare floorboards towards my mother. "Did you give him this book, Eileen?"

Silence.

"DID YOU?" I opened my eyes to see him yelling right into my mother's face, gesturing angrily with the book. Mother was cowering against the doorframe.

"Yes," she whispered, and I could see the tears glistening in her eyes.

"Haven't I made my feelings on the subject perfectly clear?" my father snapped.

My mother barely nodded. She knew the best thing to do was not to answer; that only got him more worked up. To my horror, I found hot tears sliding down my own cheeks. I rubbed my eyes furiously. I had always sworn to myself that I would never let that man make me cry. Crying was a sign of weakness. But yet I couldn't seem to stem the flow.

My father just stared coldly at Mother for a long moment; then he raised his hand and struck her across the face. Mother's head snapped back, hitting the doorframe. I bit down hard on my lip to try and stop myself from crying out.

My mother clutched the side of her head, weeping. My father ignored her and turned his attention to the book he was holding. Slowly and deliberately, he began to tear out the pages. I watched silently as the paper fluttered to the ground like confetti, not speaking but inside hating him - hating him with a passion. When he was done, he spat at us both and walked out, slamming the door shut so hard that a long crack appeared near the door handle.

I found myself breathing heavily, as if I'd just run a marathon. Crawling over to the scattered remains of the book, I tried in vain to find anything that I could save. There was nothing. He had made such a thorough job of it that I could barely piece together a single sentence, let alone the entire book.

I glanced up at my mother, and to my shock, I saw that blood was seeping through her fingers where she was holding her head. She didn't say anything, but the tears were still flowing. I looked at her for a long moment and she looked back with despair. I didn't speak - I couldn't speak. What could I say? I hated my father - but I hated my mother, too. I hated the way she let him treat her - hated the way she never stood up to him; let him batter her around the way he did. Eventually she turned and left the room. I sat on the floor amidst the carelessly strewn papers and knew, from that moment on, that I wasn't going to end up like my mother. I wasn't going to let him control me.

I just had to find my way free.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Oh, how I loathed my father. The venom he injected into his voice whenever he talked about witches and wizards; the way he treated my mother and I... like we were something shameful and filthy just for having magical blood. I knew why he did it. It's because he was afraid. Afraid that my mother would one day use it against him, and that I would end up the same. He had to show that he had authority over us because he knew - oh, he knew that we were more powerful than him and he couldn't stand the idea that his wife and son had strength he could never even dream of. My fists clenched when I thought of him. He was the disgusting one... not us. I can still remember the day my mother finally stood up to him - the same day my Hogwarts letter arrived.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Severus, it's here!"

Mother's excited voice floated up the stairs to where I was reading in my bedroom. It was where I spent practically all my time. Away from my father, away from the whispers and taunts from the outside world that Mother and I got whenever we stepped out of the door. It wasn't anything special, but it was my haven - the only place I felt safe.

I can't describe the feeling I got when I heard my mother's call. After years of poring over old magic books, dreaming for the moment when I could finally escape from the cruel clutches of my father and go and learn spells of my own... and most of all trying to overcome the fear that that letter would never come at all. It was something I hated to admit, even to myself, but I'd had a constant anxiety in the back of my mind that maybe I wasn't magical at all... maybe I was just like my father. The thought sickened me.

The day the letter arrived and I heard the excitement in my mother's voice, it was like a heavy weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I can't even begin to describe the happiness I felt. If I'd known what was to come, I'd have savoured the moment. Those happy feelings would soon be replaced by anger, bitterness, and sorrow.

I would never feel that happy again.

I can remember jumping up from the spot I was sitting in and running down the stairs, taking them two at a time. Mother was in the kitchen, joy and excitement shining all over her face. The letter was in her hand - a thick piece of parchment, written in green ink.

At that moment I'd done something I'd never done before. I ran over to Mother and hugged her. She seemed startled at first - in her whole life, hardly anyone had showed her any sign of affection - but then she hugged me back.

"Severus, I'm so proud of you," I heard her say in a muffled voice. I clung to her, wanting to savour the moment forever - the moment my life turned around.

"Well, well. What have we here?"

It was Father, of course. I quickly let go of Mother and took a step backwards. Father was standing in the doorway glowering at us. He wasn't a particularly tall man, but he seemed to fill the entire doorway with his presence. The look on his face sent a chill up and down my spine.

"Nothing, Father," I said quickly.

"Severus has received his Hogwarts letter."

It was Mother's voice, loud and clear as a bell. What was she doing? Did she want to make him even angrier? I shot a glance at her and was surprised to see her standing up straight as opposed to cowering under his glare. Her chin was raised and her eyebrows were drawn together in a look I had never seen in her before: determination.

Father stepped into the room, a murderous look on his face. "I hope you realise he won't be going."

At those words I immediately began to deflate, like a balloon being pricked. I should have known that Father would never allow me to go.

"Yes, he will, Tobias."

I looked up, shocked and slightly fearful. Father's mouth was set in a grim line; teeth clenched. He began to slowly walk towards us. I gripped the letter tightly in my hand. Please, please... don't let him take this away from me.

All of a sudden, Mother stepped in front of me. Her arms were straight at her sides and I could see that her fists were clenched.

Father paused about a metre away from us. He seemed slightly taken aback.

"Get out, Tobias," Mother said defiantly.

Father looked livid. "What?" he whispered, dragging out the word, as though he couldn't believe what he had just heard.

"I've let you push me around for far too long," Mother said, and I have never heard her voice sound so cold. "Severus is going to Hogwarts, and there's nothing you can do to stop him."

"Why, you insolent -" Father began, breathing through his nostrils like a raging bull. He made a move to step forward, but then suddenly stopped abruptly. Peering around from behind Mother's legs, I saw that she was gripping her wand so tightly her knuckles were white. She was pointing it directly at Father's throat.

"Eileen," Father said in a tone that sounded half-warning, half-fearful.

"I'll do it," Mother said, a slight shake to her voice. "I'm warning you, Tobias."

"Eileen, just calm down." Father had his hands held up. As if that would ward off whatever spell Mother decided to throw at him.

"Get out." There was a finality in those two words.

"Eileen -"

"GET OUT!"

Father stood awkwardly for a moment, and I could have sworn I saw tears in his eyes - whether they were of rage or just plain despair, I couldn't tell. For a second he swayed, as if he was drunk, then turned with a choked sound and left, slamming the door behind him.

I stayed where I was, standing motionless on the spot. Mother turned to face me, and she looked different - taller, somehow. Her chin was up, and her expression was one of pride, one of a woman who'd finally broken free - but it was also of sadness.

She wrapped her arms around me, and it was as if a great weight had been lifted off the both of us. "It's alright, Severus," she whispered. "He won't come back - he won't. We're OK."

I knew, then, that I wouldn't have to fear him any more - Mother had power that he couldn't even dream of. And soon, I would have that power too. I was going to Hogwarts.