Rating:
R
House:
Astronomy Tower
Ships:
Original Female Witch/Severus Snape
Characters:
Original Female Witch Severus Snape
Genres:
Romance Angst
Era:
The Harry Potter at Hogwarts Years
Spoilers:
Order of the Phoenix
Stats:
Published: 03/19/2005
Updated: 07/13/2015
Words: 282,703
Chapters: 64
Hits: 98,814

A Merciless Affection

Verity Brown

Story Summary:
When a N.E.W.T. Potions field trip goes badly wrong, a chain of events is set in motion that may cost Snape more than his life, and a student more than her heart. Angst/angsty romance. SS/OC (of-age student). AU after HBP but canon with OotP. Contains mature theme and some sex.

Chapter 50 - I'm Here, Nothing Can Harm You

Chapter Summary:
In Which Sarah and Severus return to Knockturn Alley...and an unpleasant surprise.
Posted:
04/13/2006
Hits:
1,323


Obligatory Disclaimer: Look, if you sue me, you've got to sue all these other fan fiction writers, too. And as far as I know, the total net worth of all Harry Potter fan fiction writers put together is still a lot less than J. K. Rowling's. So, is it really worth it, just to spoil our fun?

A/N: The good news is, due to a very long chapter I had to split, I've now got three chapters done after this one (as of today--April 3). Which means that my next update should be much sooner than usual. The bad news is that I move in less than two weeks, which is likely to put a crimp in my writing and/or posting for a while. But I will try to get everything I have written through today posted before we move, regardless of whether or not I have anything else waiting in reserve by then. So that's more good news, I guess. :~)

Many, many thanks to my faithful reviewers (and the occasional ones, too) ! I especially love hearing from new readers who have just braved all 50 chapters up to this point. And thanks, as always, to Lady Whitehart and cecelle for reading this before the rest of you are forced to. ;~)

I didn't expect Tonks to show up in this story, but there she was. And boy was I glad! Because I confess that I was immensely frustrated by the out-of-nowhere appearance of the relationship of Remus and Tonks in HBP. So this chapter let me get a little of that out of my system. I feel much better now. I hope you do, too.

Chapter 50: I'm Here, Nothing Can Harm You

"I'll take the trunk," the young woman offered.

"You won't be lifting anything, Tonks!" A man came up behind her. Sarah recognized him, with a jolt, as Remus Lupin. It had only been two years since he had taught at Hogwarts, but the time had not been kind to either his person or his robes. "You haven't been out of hospital that long. You shouldn't even be here."

"Apart from the fact that, one, I was able to borrow a car, and two, I know how to drive?"

"You mean Nymphadora is the one driving?" Severus asked. "Perhaps the Underground will be a safer option."

"Don't trust me, Snape?" The witch finally grinned, which transformed her heart-shaped face into impishness.

"Not with Sarah's safety. I was under the impression Lupin would be driving."

"Thank you for your confidence in my abilities, Severus," Lupin said. His mild and easy manner was a disarming counterpoint to Sarah's new perspective on the man. Werewolf, she reminded herself, although such a savage image suited him no better than the role of former tormentor. "But in this instance, I'm afraid we will all be infinitely safer with Tonks at the wheel."

"I didn't run into a single thing on the way here." The witch shot a grateful smile at Lupin, although she seemed to linger over it a moment longer than strictly necessary. The man's returning smile faded slightly into a look of vague discomfort.

"I'll take the trunk," Lupin said.

"I'll bring the car over, so you don't have to walk," added Tonks, following in the man's wake.

"What was that all about?" Sarah asked.

"Our...transportation," Severus ground out.

"Then that witch is in the Order as well?" Sarah whispered.

"If I were not concerned for your health, we would not be taking this risk at all," he answered, ignoring (quite reasonably, she realized) her question.

* * *

A few minutes later, they were seated inside the back compartment of the ugly green Muggle vehicle, which was stiflingly warm inside, despite the windows being open. The experience of riding in a car, Sarah found, was something like a cross between the train and the Knight Bus, although Miss Tonks' driving was considerably less wild than the latter. She only went up onto the pavement twice.

"The car's my dad's," she informed them casually, as she pulled out onto the roadway. "He's off on holiday at the moment. So, you're Sarah." Tonks craned her head around to look at her female passenger, which resulted in both Lupin and Severus shouting at her to watch the road. "You don't look as young as I imagined." She sounded curiously disappointed. "I guess you came to school when I was still there, although I don't remember you. You don't remember me, I suppose?"

"No, I don't," Sarah confessed honestly. The young woman must have waited until leaving Hogwarts to dye her hair such an unforgettable color. She couldn't imagine McGonagall permitting it at school.

"Oh, well." Tonks shrugged. "And I suppose it's just as well for you that you look older. Under the circumstances."

"You told her?" Severus said sharply to Lupin. "You had no business--"

"Well, actually," Lupin said, "Professor Dumbledore thought it best that someone else in the Order know the truth. And since she had access to a car...."

"I'm hardly going to advertise it, Snape," Tonks said. "If it works for you, it works for me. More power to you, I say."

Severus frowned, glaring from one to the other, stiff with suspicion.

Lupin, as if trying to deny his own discomfited expression, shrugged sheepishly.

"I see that your injuries have addled your wits even more than usual, Nymphadora." The cheap spitefulness of the comment made Sarah wince, but she wasn't sure how to intervene.

"Fine," Tonks said snappishly. "I don't have to defend you, you know."

Before Severus could launch another volley, Sarah asked, "Were you there at the Ministry that night?" Injuries and a recent confinement to hospital, along with Order membership, strongly suggested the probability.

"Yeah. But I don't want to talk about it," Tonks said. And much to Sarah's surprise, the woman shut up for several streets. When she spoke again, it was all business. "We're going to have to drop you off down the way a bit. Don't want to attract too much attention, see?"

"Obviously not," Severus said dryly. "Sarah, do you have your veil?"

"Yes." She produced it from a pocket as Tonks pulled up to the curb.

"Leaky Cauldron's just around the corner." Tonks pointed back toward the street they had just crossed. Sarah had thought it looked familiar, but everything seemed strange from her current vantage point.

"You will remain here long enough for me to enter Diagon Alley," Severus addressed Sarah. "Meet me there, as before." He got out of the car in a flurry of black robes, without a single word of thanks to their escorts. When Lupin hopped out to open the boot, Severus snapped at him to get back in the car. Shortly, Severus disappeared around the corner, her trunk jerking along behind him.

Sarah sat in the growing, uncomfortable silence that followed his departure. Finally she blurted out, "Thank you for your help."

"No worries," Tonks said, then added candidly, "I wanted to get a look at you."

Not sure how to answer such a blunt comment, Sarah lapsed back into silence.

"Sarah," Lupin said, after clearing his throat uncomfortably. "Professor Dumbledore wants to protect you, but I hope you understand that we're the only two in the Order who know all about you."

"Of course." Sarah nodded.

"Also," he went on, hesitantly. "You need to know that the Order can't protect you in Knockturn Alley. Even most Aurors don't dare go very far back in there."

"I would," Tonks put in.

Lupin shot her an unhappy look. "The point is, if you need outside help, you'll have to come out into Diagon Alley."

"I understand," Sarah said. She could not help thinking that Severus and his family would be more protection than this mild man and his young female sidekick. "I expect he's been gone long enough." It took a few moments of clumsy fumbling, but she managed to get the car's door open. "Thank you again." She stumbled out onto the pavement.

Lupin said, "You're quite welcome."

"See you," Tonks called.

As if that were likely. So far as Sarah could guess, she would never see either of them again.

Pacing along at the most brisk waddle she could manage without looking ridiculous, she rounded the corner...and stopped short.

Severus had not gone into the pub, which was a bit further down the now familiar-looking street than Tonks had suggested. He was still out on the pavement, talking with another man who was clearly also a wizard, although they were standing at the wrong angle for her see the man's face. Their respective stances suggested that Severus was not a willing party to the conversation.

Sarah backed away rapidly, retreating around the corner. She felt instinctively that whatever was going on, Severus would not want her to be in the middle of it. But her urge to protect him was strong enough to send her inching back toward the car, wrung by an inner debate about whether he would thank her for bringing those two to his rescue.

"...younger than I am!" she heard Tonks say, as she came within hearing range. Sarah halted. She was still behind the car, and they had not seen her returning--they were locked in intense debate with one another. It was fortunate for them that she was not, in fact, the Dark Lord's loyal servant she was pretending to be.

"He made a student pregnant!" Lupin said, almost too low to be heard. "Am I supposed to find that commendable?"

Sarah slid behind the nearby lamppost, both curious and angry to find herself the subject of their discussion.

"She doesn't seem to mind his age--that's my point!"

"You can't compare things on a single point. My condition--"

"Oh yes, I suppose that controlled lycanthropy is ever so much worse for your partner than being an active Death Eater."

"He's chosen to place her in danger. I won't do that to you, Tonks."

"In case you haven't noticed, Remus, I'm an Auror. I place myself in danger all the time."

"It isn't the same. And I can't even get a job! At least he has that."

"I have a job."

"If you think I would ever dream of letting my wife support me...."

Tonks snorted. "You are old, Remus! No, I didn't mean that," she added hastily. "Look--"

"There is no point in discussing this. I'm sorry, Tonks. I shouldn't have encouraged...I shouldn't have let you know...."

"No, you should have just let me go on being miserably in love with you. Because that's what I'm going to do, you know? That's what I'm going to do anyway." Her voice broke, and abruptly the car started, the sound covering whatever his reply was. The car jerked out onto the roadway, very nearly being hit by another. The Muggle driver's horn blared. Another chorus of beeping arose when Tonks' car barely paused at the next intersection before rushing through.

They were gone.

* * *

Trembling, Sarah made her way back to the corner. She did not know what to think of the conversation she had overheard. She almost wished that she had met the common fate of eavesdroppers: merely to hear herself spoken ill of. The desperate unhappiness in the young witch's voice made Sarah's own heart twist painfully in response. And now there was no one to help her if Severus really had got into trouble.

Neither Severus nor the man were in front of the pub now. Her heart thudding, Sarah advanced down the pavement. She drew her veil around her head like a shawl, clutching the sides up to her nose with her left hand, unwilling to compromise her vision entirely. She ducked inside the Leaky Cauldron, her right hand clenched around the wand in her pocket.

There were no signs of a ruckus having recently taken place. No one took much notice of her as she came in, despite her costume, except the barman. And he must have decided at a glance that she was not likely a paying customer, because he went back to his business. A few tongues clicked, from the direction of a group of middle-aged witches.

Severus was not here. Not that she expected him to be. Nor did she see anyone who resembled--so far as she could tell from a single, distant glimpse--the man who had accosted him outside. She didn't dare stop to look too closely, though. She hurried through to the back courtyard and drew her wand to tap the bricks that opened the way in.

She had scarcely taken a dozen paces into Diagon Alley when footsteps fell in behind her. She turned, startled, ready to hex the culprit into immobility. But it was Severus, her trunk floating along serenely behind him.

"How much for the evening?" he asked.

It took Sarah a moment to get her breath back. "How much are you willing to pay, gov'ner?"

"Suppose we negotiate that elsewhere?"

She took his proffered arm and whispered, "You scared me half to death."

"I didn't want to leave you unguarded for any longer than necessary."

"Does this have to do with the man you met out front?"

She felt his muscles tighten. "You saw that, then? I'm glad you had the sense to stay back."

"I have learned a few things. But I didn't see how it ended."

"I will explain when we reach the flat. Meanwhile, keep your wand ready. But for heaven's sake, if I tell you to run, do so without argument."

* * *

It was a nerve-wracking walk. As she had remembered, Knockturn Alley was far more frightening at dusk than in the daylight hours. It was worse still waiting for the attack of some unknown enemy. Not Bella? Unless that man had been one of the Lestranges. But they reached the building without incident. Waiting for Severus to lift the wards, Sarah grimaced at the sounds of the oldest trade being plied in others of the flats.

It was only when they were safely inside the fully-lit room, the wards replaced to his satisfaction, that Severus took her in his arms, cradling her wordlessly against his chest. He encountered her invisibly burgeoning stomach, and let one hand drop to follow its curve.

"What was that about? Who was that?" she asked. "I thought we would be safe now."

He stiffened at her accusatory tone. "Nothing perhaps. Just a warning."

"What kind of warning?" She took a step back and stared up at him.

His face had that old shuttered look; she wanted to shake him. But he lifted his hand to cup her face. "An old...mutual acquaintance."

Lucius Malfoy and Franklin Nott were in Azkaban. And he would not refer to the Dark Lord that way. "Bellatrix?"

Severus smirked grimly at her puzzled expression. "She won't dare trouble us for now. I was referring to someone else. Someone without whom, no doubt," he traced her lips with his thumb, "neither of us would be here at this moment."

Realization dawned, and with it, a different kind of fear. "Connor? You said he wasn't the type to go looking for revenge."

"That appears to have changed somewhat," Severus said sardonically.

"But...you didn't duel," Sarah pointed out.

"On a Muggle street? Within earshot of dozens of wizards? He's in no hurry to find himself back in Azkaban. But I think the flat will not be safe for you here alone. I will increase the wards tonight, but when I return to Hogwarts tomorrow, you will require new accommodations."

Sarah looked around her at the dingy little flat. It bore evidences of her presence at Easter--a curtain mended here, the coverlet straightened there. Her trunk sat in the middle of the floor. She had planned to call this place, however small and unlovely, her home. Tears sprang to her eyes.

"I want to stay here."

"No, Sarah," his tone was sharp, but his expression softened when he saw she was crying. "Damn that man!" He took her into his arms again. "I won't risk losing you."

Her lips found his. The desperation of this week of separated nights, when Sarah had not dared to go to him for fear that her absence would be too much for Angelina to endure, was sharpened all the further by the fear of being separated forever. That penultimate desire drove them, scarcely aware of anything but each other, into the other room.

A sharp knock sounded on the outer door.

Severus swore volubly.

"Who's there?" he snapped, stalking toward the door with wand drawn.

"Miriam. I've brought you a bite of supper."

Sarah had not had occasion to use her robe-straightening charm in months, but she employed it now. Severus removed the wards and jerked open the door, his face still suffused with purple.

Sarah felt sure that Miriam's sharp eyes had perceived the situation in an instant, but the woman stepped inside anyway, carrying a small cooking pot wrapped in a cloth. Severus raised the wards behind her.

"I've had my cat Gypsy watching for you. I thought you might prefer not to go out tonight." Her lips were very thin, her face somber, as she set the pot on the table.

"What have you heard, Miriam?" Severus frowned.

"Isaac Connor's come back. He spoke to Caius this afternoon. Gave him a threat to pass along to you." She turned, her glance flicking momentarily toward Sarah. "He said--"

"I had his threat from his own lips," Severus interrupted. "I met him outside the Leaky Cauldron less than an hour ago."

Miriam paused, as if in doubt, then said, "If you need--"

"I do not!" Severus exploded. "If you think I would take so much as a Knut from Caius--!"

"He wouldn't give you the dust from his purse, as you well know," Miriam retorted. "But I have money of my own--"

"It isn't a question of money!" Sarah caught the flash of his eyes, looking uneasily at her for an instant. What was the threat? Blackmail? "You're a fool if you think that would satisfy him now."

Miriam drew herself up with a world-weary air. "As you will. But he's taken a room at the Mermaid. He can't mean to stay here long." It sounded to Sarah far more like a warning than the words themselves suggested.

"Well, I shall have to inconvenience him," Severus said with a grim smirk.

"What is it you intend to do?" Miriam frowned.

Severus hesitated then, and his face lost its sneering look. "I have end-of-year work to complete at Hogwarts. I ought to leave to tomorrow. Will you take Sarah in until I return?"

"Wait a minute!" Sarah broke in at last. Witnessing this terse exchange made it clearer every moment that Severus had been trying--was still trying--to keep as much about the danger from her as possible. "Have I no say in any of this?"

"No," Severus said bluntly.

"But--!"

"The efforts required to return you secretly to Hogwarts would be ridiculous." He slashed the air with his hand. "Where else would you propose to go?"

Sarah, to her dismay, was left speechless: the list of possibilities was perilously short.

"Well?" Severus turned back to his aunt.

Miriam's expression was troublingly guarded. "She might be happier with Cornelia and Jacob."

"Happier!" Severus snapped. "Will she be safer?"

"He won't think to look there. And Caius may not be willing to have her in the house. Not if he thinks she'll bring trouble down on us."

"Even for my son's sake?" he sneered. "The last Snape?"

"You know perfectly well what it would cost to ask him to set that much store by the boy."

"Damn it, I do know."

"I don't!" Sarah interrupted again, infuriated at the way they were discussing Severian's safety--as if she weren't even in the room!

Miriam turned grimly to face her. "If Caius were to risk his life for the boy, he would want to raise him as his own son."

"No!" Sarah knew that absolute arrangements had yet not been made about Severian's guardians, but she had never supposed that Severus would allow Caius to take that much control. She looked desperately to him.

"Certainly not," he said. "What about Mantua? Would she be safer out in Diagon Alley?"

"Perhaps. I'll talk to them tomorrow. Promise me you'll not go out tonight."

"I had no intention of doing so," he said, his lip curling.

"No, I suppose not." Miriam's nose wrinkled slightly. "Well, I shall leave you to your evening." She drew her wand.

"You won't be attacked, leaving here?" Sarah felt a stronger surge of her growing panic.

"I do hope not," Miriam said. "Be careful, the both of you."

Severus lifted the wards.

"Thank you for the supper!" Sarah called, belatedly, as Miriam slipped out into the passageway. She wasn't sure the woman heard her; Severus had slammed down the wards the moment she left. He locked the door and charmed the lock.

"Did he threaten me?" she asked, both angry and frightened. "Or the baby?"

"He doesn't know about the child." Severus frowned, turning his wand in his fingers. "Nor were his threats directed in particular at you. If he finds he can use you to hurt me, no doubt he will. But he would far rather damage me directly."

"He wants money?"

"He wants me dead. Or in Azkaban. The money is merely the icing on the cake." He sneered, but that did not decrease Sarah's alarm one jot.

"What does he intend to do?"

"I do not intend to let him do anything." His face became as closed as it had ever been. "He is hardly the only enemy I have ever had, Sarah. Beyond taking extra precautions for your safety, you will do nothing in regard to Connor--promise me that!"

"You can hardly expect me to promise to stand by and allow you to be murdered!"

"I fully expect, when I die, for it to be by murder," he answered fiercely, "but it won't be at Connor's hand."

Sarah could find no answer to that. She went into his arms, her eyes welling with angry tears. And he held her with the same fierceness with which he had spoken.

"Why now?" she whispered. "He didn't trouble us at Easter."

"I don't think he was here at Easter. He hasn't lived in Knockturn for years, apparently. Things grew...too hot for him here after the Dark Lord disappeared. Most recently, I've discovered, he's been living in Manchester. He would have gone there after he was released from Azkaban."

"That doesn't answer my question. Why now?"

Severus attempted a snort, but for once it came out sounding more like he had a cold in the head. "I would hardly have been here before the end of term."

Sarah looked up at him. He was avoiding the truth--that was as plain as the nose on his face. But she understood, too, that it was impossible for her to either bully or beg the facts from him. "If you think it's better I don't know," she said carefully, "then I won't question you. But I would feel safer if I knew what was going on."

He frowned down at her slightly. "Suffice to say that he has found a reason to seek my end."

"It has to do with me, somehow, doesn't it?" As his expression tightened, she became sure of it. "Because you protected me at Halloween?"

"No. He does not know who you are, and I intend for it to remain that way. You must do exactly as I tell you, Sarah." His dark eyes locked on hers until she blinked and nodded, feeling a sense of despair as she did so.

"I don't want to lose you."

His only answer was a fierce kiss.

Then, suddenly, they were picking up where they had left off. Sarah half-expected another interruption. But there was no Angelina to avoid, no snooping Draco, no Dumbledore or McGonagall. In this room, in this place, she could be lover and protégée and wife, without censure and without fear--except of their enemies, who could not reach them tonight, not here behind the power of her lover's wards, not here in his arms.

It was a good deal later when they discovered that Miriam had, thoughtfully, placed a Warming Charm on the dinner pot.

* * *

A/N: So, the summer begins. Soon we'll begin to see even more how Sarah's presence will warp the events of HBP. Stay tuned! :~)