October

October

It was him. That's what it always came down to. She hated him.

No, she didn't hate him. She hated herself for loving him.

She loved him. Loved him more than she loved herself, actually. More than anything she'd ever loved before. Which was why she was leaving. Because he loved her too, just not enough. Enough to keep her here with him, but not enough to constantly be with her, like she wanted to be with him. Not enough that he would give his life for her, like she would for him.

She cried as she packed, putting sets of black dress robes and sets of black plain robes into a sleek black suitcase. Always black. She thought of days when she had loved color, and it was only color. Pink especially. She had loved pink. But he had changed her. He had taught and bred her to dress just like a Malfoy, to carry herself like a Malfoy, talk like a Malfoy, be a Malfoy. And that was what she had become: a Malfoy. And she didn't even realize it until now.

'It's for the better', she kept telling herself as she slipped on a pair of black stiletto shoes to go with the black skirt and gray blouse she had on, 'It's all for the better.' She closed her eyes and breathed deeply. And that was when, of course, he walked in.

I can't run anymore

I fall down before you

Here I am, I have nothing left

Though I've tried to forget

You're all that I am

Take me home, I'm through fighting it

"Ginny," he said shortly, looking her over. She truly was a beauty. At 25, she had completely grown into herself. Sleek copper hair shone down past her shoulder blades, and her eyes were soft and innocent, yet somehow defeated. They hid secrets and told lies. They cried and smiled. She was tall--5'10"--and had a decided line for a mouth. "Leaving again?" he asked nonchalantly, leaning against the doorframe. He knew she wouldn't--couldn't--leave him. It was hard for her to be away from him for more than five minutes, much less the rest of her life.

Ginny looked up at him, another tear rolling down a flushed cheek, her bottom lip quivering. "This time I mean it," she whispered, looking down and continuing to pack.

Draco raised an eyebrow. "Oh, really?" he asked, walking towards her, "I thought you loved me." He smirked as he watched her shoulders slump. Ginny tried to sigh but it came out as a watery sob instead.

"That's the problem," she whispered so softly this time that he could barely hear her.

Broken, lifeless

I give up, you're my only strength

Without you I can't go on

Anymore--ever again

He reached over and traced her chin with his cold, pale finger. He pushed up with it, causing her head to tilt slightly up so she was looking up into his silvery eyes.

He leaned down suddenly and kissed her harshly, nipping at her bottom lip and pulling her in closer. This was what got her. This was what brought her to him; rebound her to him again and again. Contact. That's all it took: contact. If he kissed her, touched her, looked at her, she was his.

She thought it was a kiss proclaiming his love. But Draco knew better. This was just a lust kiss. He wanted her, and he would have her, because Malfoys always get what they want.

My only hope (All the times I've tried)

My only peace (To walk away from you)

My only joy, my only strength (I fall into your abounding grace)

My only power, my only life

My only love (And love is where I am)

Draco pulled away, to Ginny's regret. She still had her eyes closed, and kept them closed. "No, Draco," she mumbled, "no."

He was annoyed. "No what, Ginny?" he asked irritably.

"No, I can't do this. I don't want...I don't..." she trailed off as she opened her over-bright eyes. She made the mistake of looking in his eyes, and at his perfect silky silver-blonde hair, and his beautiful ivory skin.

What was she thinking? She couldn't live without him. He was the biggest part of her. In fact, he was so much of her that there was barely any of her left.

"Don't treat me like this, Virginia. After all I've done for you. I let you become part of my family, I let you be one of us! I supported you, I took care of you. And this is how you repay me? Come on, Ginny, I don't ask much in return and you know that. You love me. You love me."

Ginny nodded, her eyes wide. "I'm so sorry," she whispered, starting to cry again, "I give up."

Draco's eyes softened the tiniest bit, and he pulled her onto the bed with him, kissing away a tear.

I can't run anymore

I give myself to you,

I'm sorry...I'm sorry

In all my bitterness

I ignored all that's real and true

All I need is you

He held her in bed that night, cradling her against him. She leaned her head on his chest as he ran his hand lazily through her hair.

He fell asleep like that, with his arms wrapped around her. It was the way it should be, wasn't it? But Ginny's eyes were wide open. She couldn't fall asleep. She had given in to him. She wished she hadn't but knew she had no other options. She couldn't live without him. Her heart would break.

And what tore her apart was that if she left, she would suffer, not him. He would find someone else, because he was a Malfoy and Malfoy's never, ever fall in love.

But she was a Malfoy, too, now. And she had fallen in love.

When night falls on me

I'll not close my eyes

I'm too alive and you're too strong

I can't lie anymore

I fall down before you,

I'm sorry...I'm sorry

Constantly ignoring

The pain consuming me

But this time it's cut too deep

I'll never stray again