Feeling

He pulled the navy sweater over her head as they stumbled blindly into her room. Pushing some tendrils of her honey hair out of her face, so he could look into her cinnamon-sugar eyes.

Dragging his belt through the denim loops around his jeans, she slowly undid his trousers and dropped them to his ankles as he stepped out of them. His blonde hair hung loosely over his cold steel eyes, his chest cut decently from swimming.

Every time we lie awake

After every hit we take

Every feeling that I get

But I haven't missed you yet

As they both lay naked on the bed, covers and sheets tossed to the floor, both moaning like there was no tomorrow, they couldn't help but feel a little more cheerful than they did in the day. She didn't know why they had sex almost every night, but she knew why she felt like she needed to. She was always expected to be the smart one- the logical one, the witty one, the clever one. She was never the daring one or the brave one, or the one with countless siblings; those where others.

He was an only child, but almost completely ignored by his parents. Sure they bought him anything that he wanted, so long as he went off to go play with his toys and never bothered them. He tried to win over his father's approval when he was younger by insulting muggle-borns, but that hadn't worked, so he gave up and just sank into oblivion. It was their 7^th year, and they had pretty much abandoned their friends, either that or their friends had abandoned them.

Every roommate kept awake

By every sigh and scream we make

All the feelings that I get

But I still don't miss you yet

Only when I stop to think about it...

Since he didn't care who accepted him anymore, I guess it would be easy to say that his friends left him, but since compassionate people who cared for her always surrounded her, I guess that she left her friends.

I hate everything about you

Why do I love you?

I hate everything about you

Why do I love you?

From everything that was expected of her, she could no longer feel. That's why they did this, just to feel something. She didn't think of herself of a slut, and he didn't think that of her either, for they both did this for the same reason- to feel. She knew other people, who handled it other ways. People that cut... people that did drugs... people that would just about kill themselves, just to feel something. They both agreed on this, so that's why they both agreed on each other.

Every time he sank into her, she couldn't help but feel that what they were doing was right. She knew that they were supposed to be in love, but she made herself blind to the only thing she ever saw in his eyes when they were together- lust. She knew she wasn't in love with him either, but she had no one else.

Every time we lie awake

After every hit we take

Every feeling that I get

But I haven't missed you yet

Only when I stop to think about it...

As he tumbled off her and lay next to her, she only had hate coursing through her body. She hated him for making her feel so dirty, she hated herself for making her feel like she had no choice but to screw some guy she hardly knew anyway. She hated how he still insulted her name during the day, but how she was supposed to forgive him when he moaned it at night. She hated that she had given into him so easily their first time, and she hated her friends for the care they no longer gave her. She felt like this surely must be a way to feel life, but their trysts were slowly dwindling down to a routine, and that's exactly what they didn't need- routine.

I hate everything about you

Why do I love you?

I hate everything about you

Why do I love you?

As she gazed out the snow-encrusted window to look at the crystal moon, she could hear his soft, rhythmic breathing. He was asleep. She hadn't properly slept since October. But she finally started to doze off, with his arm and leg thrown possessively over her body.

Only when I stop to think

about you, I know

only when you stop to think

about me, do you know...

As dawn's pink sky and pale mist crept over the school grounds, she got out of bed and began to gather her clothes that had been strewn across the floor. Just when she was creeping out the door she heard him sigh.

"Same time tomorrow?"

"Yea, same time tomorrow."

I hate everything about you

Why do I love you?

You hate everything about me

Why do you love me?