What Could Have Been

What Could Have Been

Up the aisle I go, ready to be committed forever to Ron Weasley. He looks so happy, watching me as I move closer and closer towards him. He looks so sweet and a little embarrassed - well, he never was fond of Public Displays Of Affection with me and this is a huge one.

Ginny's doing well as bridesmaid. She makes me so proud. I know she and Harry will make a brilliant couple once they finally get engaged and Harry gets his act together and buys her that ring.

Harry...he's the best man, up there beside Ron. He's got a huge, wonderful smile on his face. I think he's really pleased for Ron and I. I am as well.

Harry looks so handsome. I know I shouldn't be thinking that kind of thing, but it's just...he does. His tux really flatters his whole muscular body and having seen him a couple of times in some shorts I know he has a right pair of amazing legs under those smart trousers.

Unlike Ron, who, although has a nice face, is completely gangly and skinny. But I don't love Ron for his looks - I love him because he's Ron.

And I don't love - whoops, like - Harry for his fit body, I love him because he's Harry...and maybe because he has always had such kissable lips.

Oh god, Hermione...if you liked Harry all along, why isn't HE the one waiting to have you forever up in front of you?

But I haven't liked Harry all along. I'm just considering.

Yeah...considering what it's like snogging Harry.

Stop it, Hermione!

Actually, I do wonder what it would have been like. If I had had a first kiss with Harry. My hands may have run their way through his adorably messy hair and his own hands may have crept gently around my waist. We may have gazed into each others eyes for a while and then, finally, kissed.

And the kiss would have been amazing. Millions of fireworks would have gone off in our minds and we'd have both wanted to have our lips locked together...forever like that.

And then, when Harry defeated and fought Voldemort, I would have been the one standing loyally at his side, clutching his hand for dear life. I would have been the one Harry would have turned and kissed after his triumph. Me. Hermione Jane Granger.

I would have been the one living with Harry, seeing Harry in un-decent states of clothing. I would have been the one waiting lovingly, patiently and eagerly for Harry to propose to me.

Me.

I really am beginning to think what it WOULD have been like. Would I have been happy? I'm happy right now just thinking about it. And if I was happy, would I be happier than I was with Ron?

That's a hard question.

I look up at Harry again and then at Ron. As our meet, I know that I'd have been happier with Harry. But Ron is still cute, I'm still going to be happy with him for the rest of my life.

But I'd be happier with Harry.

I wish I could say something now, as I get closer and closer to losing my fiancée status forever. I want to leave the wedding, make up my mind and think things through. I wish I'd considered this earlier, and then I could have pretended I was ill and postponed the wedding.

I suppose I could turn back now, but I know that it would break Ron's heart and the last thing I wanted to do was hurt him. Imagine him asking me why I left the wedding and me saying, "Oh, because I'm in love with your best friend. See ya!"

He'd be gutted. I know he really cares for me, which I think is very sweet. And I really care for him too...but what I feel for Harry is on another level that Ron and I will never get to, much as we could try.

I'm right by the altar now. There's no escape. I've blown it. I'll never have any chance of being with Harry now for the rest of my life.