By Heart

By Heart

Think you're going to make me cry
Make me cry, make me cry

Think I'm going to wonder why,
Didn't I pass you by.

Danielle sat in her bedroom window watching as the rain poured incessantly. The dreary day matched her mood perfectly and her mind pounded as thoughts scrambled through it at a dizzying and constant speed.

She turned her brown eyes to the sleeping man occupying her bed. A single tear rolled down her left cheek as she watched him silently. Briefly her mind stilled on one thought: Why didn't I pass him by?

This thought had filtered its way through her head many times before and yet she could still think of no way to describe the hold the man had over her heart; no answer came.

Danielle tried to think of a reason as to why she would constantly allow him to hurt her. Was it because of his appearance? Because the man was more then Adonis could ever hope to be. Or was it his cool and heavenly grey eyes? His wondrous eyes seemed to bore a hole through her whenever they came into contact with her petite form. His eyes always seemed to hold a mystery and she yearned to solve and after eight months, she was beginning to get desperate.

Danielle was pulled from her thoughts as the black-haired man groaned her name. "Dani what are you doing out of bed?" he asked her sleepily. "Come back to bed love," he said holding his hand out for her to take.

Danielle's mind screamed at her to ignore his hand because it would only lead her further down the road of loneliness and heartache, but she decided that maybe, this time her conscious was wrong.

Danielle took his outstretched hand and allowed him to lead her back into the bed. She snuggled into his taut body and sighed contentedly as his warmth spread throughout her body.

Your mind is always changing.
You say so all the time.
Don't know how long you're staying.
That will be your choice, not mine.

"Sirius," she whispered shakily after a few moments.

"Hmm," he answered drowsily.

"When are we going to meet your friends tomorrow?" she asked timidly.

Danielle felt his chest heave and heard him sigh. She felt her heart break slightly and she knew the answer already, for she had heard it in his sigh.

"I don't think it's going to happen tomorrow," he said stroking her dark brown hair.

"But Sirius, this is the third time--"

"Danielle, I can change my mind if I want, I change it frequently and you know this," he said impatiently. "You shouldn't put too much faith into what I say," he said harshly.

Danielle nodded her head mutely, feeling her eyes begin to sting with unshed tears. She closed her eyes to keep the rain from falling.

Sirius looked down at the young woman in his arms and he could tell that she was fighting back tears. He immediately felt bad for the harsh tone he had taken with her.

"Look, Dani, I'm sorry but I'm just not ready for you to meet everyone," he said while placing a soft kiss on her forehead.

Danielle continued to remain silent and instead took a staggering breath while nodding her head slowly. She knew that if she tried to talk her voice would crack and the tears she was choking back would emerge.

Sirius smiled adoringly at her, ignoring the silent battle she was having internally, before falling into a peaceful sleep, his arm wrapped snuggly around her waist.

Danielle looked at Sirius' peaceful face and felt his chest heave with each steady breath he took. She touched his face tenderly, savoring the time she had with him.

"How long?" she whispered. "How long before you leave me?" she questioned while running her hands through his silky tresses.

Her heart knew that she had no control over that aspect because only Sirius could determine when he felt it was time for them to part ways, but this knowledge didn't ease her bruised heart in any way. And it never stopped her from wishing he would choose to stay with her for good.

Danielle finally let Sirius' light snores lull her into a deep sleep, her dreams filled with nothingness.

Think you're going to make me run,
Make me run, make me run.
Think I'm glad that I'm still young,
Now you've begun to have your fun.

Sirius and Danielle walked down the busy streets of London, with a small amount of distance between their bodies. Danielle looked at Sirius' close form and suddenly felt the urge to obey her conscious and run far away from him and far away from the pain he continuously inflicted upon her.

Your eyes are always straying.
You want whatever's far.
I hear the words you're saying.
I'm' learning you, by heart.
I will know you, by heart.

She knew he viewed her as a fling, just something to pass the time, he had nonverbally told her many times. And right now was one of those times. Danielle watched sorrowfully as his eyes strayed to other women and finally settled on a tall, slim blonde across the street. His eyes were filled with lust and want, and it pained her to know that she wasn't enough to satisfy him. She knew that she would never be enough.

Sirius wrapped his arm tightly, almost possessively, around Danielle's waist and whispered softly in her ear, "I'm glad we're doing this," and placed a small kiss on her temple.

Danielle smiled serenely at him and pressed her body into his strong body. It was moments like these that kept her glued to him. He continued to make it impossible for her to leave and he continued to make her fall deeper and deeper in love with him.

And yet Danielle treasured every moment the two spent together, even the ones filled with pain. She stowed away every single tear, smile, kiss, and laugh into her heart and she was convinced she would know Sirius her entire life, even when the time came for them to part, she would know him by heart and she would love him with all of her heart.

Think you're going to take your time,
Drink your wine, move on to mine.
Music plays, the singer sways,
And you can say - you always move in time.

Sirius sat at the bar with Danielle, nursing a glass of Merlot. His eyes scanned the bar before resting on the caramel skinned woman before him. He drained the last of his wine and grabbed the glass that rested softly in her hand.

Danielle made no protest as he stole the drink from her hand, for she needed to be completely coherent if she was to go through with the act she planned on performing.

Sirius' and Danielle's eyes met and he silently asked her a question, which she agreed to. The temperamental couple made their way wordlessly onto the dance floor and began swaying softly to the music.

Danielle laid her head on Sirius' broad chest (she was too short to reach his shoulder) and breathed in his rugged scent. She closed her eyes in contentment, fighting to keep her resolve.

Sirius I don't want to be with you anymore.

Her mind made it sound so easy and simple to say, but her heart complicated matters. She took a few shallow breaths before opening her mouth to speak the words she should have said months ago. But unfortunately for Danielle's conscious, Sirius Black had other plans for the dark beauty in his arms.

"Dani," he whispered in her ear while stroking his hand against the small of her back, "I'm so glad I have you."

Danielle looked deep into Sirius' eyes which gazed at her softly. She bit her lip as she felt her resolve slowly slip away. She smiled shyly at him, "I'm glad I have you too," she said lifting her head to kiss his lips. Sirius leaned his head down to meet her and kissed her with a soft passion.

I will know you, by heart.

Song: 'By Heart' sang by Sylvie Lewis.