This and That

A/N: This was nibbling at me whilst beginning DH. Why was the wedding kept quiet and why was Remus so strained? This is my version of how it came to be. Thanks again to Kas - you rock!

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She knew who it was without opening the door. Quietly, she pressed her palms to the warm wood and leaned against it. What would she say to him? She wasn't even sure what to think herself. That terrible night of Dumbledore's death had been a turning point for them, and they had only just begun to feel out their new relationship. Now, it had become a complicated mess and the one person she needed answers from was the one she was afraid to talk to.

"Damn."

"Tonks, I know you're in there, I can hear you cursing. I don't know what I did.... Maybe, it was something I didn't do? Could you, at least give me the tiniest hint as to why I haven't heard from you in two days?"

Silence.

"I've come bearing gifts." He enticed.

The lock on the door tumbled and a small heart-shaped face appeared with brows raised in amusement. Remus' relief was somewhat marred as he looked Tonks over. Her usually vibrant pink hair was now teal coloured and limp. There were purple circles under her eyes that stood out against her pale skin. She looked like she hadn't been sleeping well, if at all. The overall effect was concerning.

"You're embarrassing yourself out here. Begging isn't very becoming, and if I have to listen to anymore, I may lose what little breakfast I've managed to get down today." She smiled wanly and let him in. Remus brushed a kiss across the top of her head as he passed. Calm washed over her, and she suddenly felt very foolish for not turning to him in the first place.

He stepped over to a small table set under a window and laid down the parcels. A covered dish, she assumed was from Molly, took up most of the table. Next to it was a gathering of wild flowers that Tonks recognised as belonging to the garden of the little yellow cottage at the end of High Street. Her eyes went from the flowers to Remus. He only smiled and shrugged when she raised an eyebrow questioningly. Tension eased from her shoulders as she laughed. It was their way with each other, the intimate nonverbal communication they shared, that brought her the most comfort. Yes, her day brightened considerably just having him near.

She took the teacup she had set down to answer the door and pouted exaggeratingly upon finding it empty. Remus rolled his eyes, took the cup from her with a crooked smile and set about making more tea as Tonks went to one of the overstuffed chairs by the fireplace. With her eyes closed, she drank in her surroundings. The answers that had eluded her for the past couple of days were now glaringly apparent. The rustling in her kitchen, the warmth she still felt from his fingers brushing hers, his scent that lingered on her skin - this is what she wanted.

He handed a warm cup to her before settling himself in a chair across from her.

"Still not feeling well, I see. Maybe you should see a Healer, find out what's wrong."

She simply nodded and tucked her feet underneath her. They continued sipping their tea in silence. Remus was studying her and she knew he was waiting for her speak. He would wait all day; the man had the patience of a saint. She gazed into her cup and took a deep breath. She had to get it off her chest.

"I've been thinking." She cut her eyes to him. "How serious are you about all of this?"

His eyebrows knitted together in confusion. Tonks frowned, gesturing emphatically between them.

"Oh! This..." Remus sipped his tea thoughtfully. "Well, are we using a scale? Say, ten being to the Heavens and back and all other hopelessly romantic allegory; one being a quick shag and run?" Tonks gave him a withering look, and he sensed that it wasn't the time for teasing.

"I know I'm complete rubbish at this, but I do love you, Dora. I was a fool beyond measure for what I put the both of us through last year, and I can't spend another day without you in my life." Remus had set his cup down and was now leaning out of his seat, toward her. "Please, tell me you're not having doubts about that."

Tonks was searching the inside of her cup again; if only she had tea leaves to guide her. Unable to meet his eyes, she merely gave a noncommittal shrug and a pathetic whimper. In her mind, she was the big, bad Auror that no one could intimidate. The reality was that on the inside, she was as vulnerable as the next girl was when it came to protecting her heart. She had spent so much time longing and hoping and wishing to hear these words from him that it was hard not to expect it to fall to pieces. She slid a glance at him, and then returned her eyes to the cup. They had promised to be completely honest with each other. She straightened her shoulders and looked him squarely in the eye. She needed to tell him, but she wanted some answers first.

"And if I said that I wanted to get married? What then?"

She had been running through all of the things she knew he might say for the last couple of days. Of course he loved her, but there was the anti-werewolf legislation to contend with; they probably couldn't legally get married. There would be the matter of his pride; how could he take care of her when he had no means of employment? And, her personal favourite, the shame he would bring to her by making her an outcast like him. Contrary to what he believed, she had thought of all these things, too. None of them had ever mattered to her and they still didn't. She was back to longing and hoping and wishing she could change his mind. Especially now.

Remus stared at her, his mouth agape, before collecting himself. He stood with his back to her and ran his hands over the mantle of the fireplace. As he turned around, she could see the lines on his face were tight, his hands clasped in front of him.

"Dora...." He began slowly. Tonks swallowed hard. She suddenly felt as if all the air had been sucked out of the room; she couldn't breathe. She had fretted all these days, had finally asked the question and now, by the look on his face, didn't want to hear the answer. Her stomach rolled and then clenched. She lurched from the chair, her hand clasped over her mouth, and sprinted through the flat to the small bathroom that adjoined the bedroom.

When she felt better, and empty, she found Remus leaning with his arms folded against the doorframe of the bedroom. The anxious look in his eyes belied the casualness of his stance. She began across the room to the bed and held her hand up to him when he opened his mouth to speak. She crawled on to the bed and laid face down so that she was near the edge by the door. Tentatively, he came over and sat down next to her. She didn't move.

"Well, this has not gone as I expected."

She was relieved to hear the humour in his voice. "Hmph."

"I mean, there was always the possibility you might be sick afterwards, but before I could actually propose...."

Tonks rolled on to her back and brushed away the hair from her disbelieving face. Remus cut his eyes to her and huffed with amusement. He gestured to his lap where he had his hands clasped. Set between his fingertips was a brightly shining ring. Her mouth open and closed several times, shock written all over her face. His mouth split into a wide smile as he took her left hand and slid the ring home. Tonks stared at it for a moment and then tipped her face up to Remus. Colour had returned to it and her eyes glistened. He cupped her face, stroking her cheek with his thumb. She was glowing.

"I told you that I love you, and I meant it. I still can't figure out what it is you think I have to offer - " Tonks cut him off by throwing her arms around him and squeezing tightly. She sat up excitedly and showered him with kisses. Remus laughed openly, obviously overwhelmed by her response.

"Married! We'll have to tell my parents straight away - they're never going to believe this!"

At this, Remus sighed deeply. He took her hands in his and levelled his eyes with hers. His face was serious as he spoke.

"About that... Dora, you shouldn't expect your parents to be particularly thrilled about it. I know you don't want to hear it, but they understand, all too well, about marrying into what is perceived as beneath you and all that comes with that. Ted is a wonderful man, but he will only want the best for his daughter and I wouldn't blame him for running me out of the house."

Tonks had never felt such rapture before and she was not about to let such depressing thoughts ruin the moment. Besides, she was happy and that was all her parents had ever wanted for her and she could only think of one thing that would please them more. She warmed at the thought of making Remus as happy as he had just made her.

"Love, I wouldn't worry about that." She held his face and kissed the tip of his nose. "When my Dad finds out that you've knocked me up first, he's gonna kill you!"

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A/N: Did you like it? Did you hate it? Could you not care less either way? I'd like to know! R&R, Please.