White Guardian

No one can dispute that I've known Harry for a long time. Since his first year at Hogwarts in fact. I've seen him change over the years from a small, scrawny, underfed eleven year old to the tall, slim and nourished sixteen year old he is today. It's been a subtle change over the years, but he has changed. I think it's all the Quidditch training he does these days.

I've watched him closely as he's grown. I'm not talking physically, but mentally. He's had to face the Dark Lord countless times and each time he comes out of these confrontations changed. Older, more mature. He still has nightmares sometimes, i know. He doesn't like sharing them with other people, but he shares them with me. We don't talk at all. We just sit there, enjoying each other's company. He tells me he takes great solace in my just being there to listen to him. We have an unspoken understanding.

I won't deny it. I love him. More than anything else in the world. Without him my entire lifestyle, my entire world would be destroyed. He is the reason I live. But we can't be together, not romatically, I know that. So I have to content myself with watching him as he pursues other girls, like that Cho Chang from Ravenclaw. He's been after her for years. She's head Girl this year adn Harry can't stop talking about her.

I know he loves me though. In fact I'm sure of it. It's just that he doesn't love me in that way. In the way he thinks he loves Cho. Oh well, I'm happy for him, I truly am, and for her. Anybody able to secure Harry's love is a lucky girl indeed.

Even though I can't be with him, I always try my best to make him happy. For five years now I've always made sure that he's gotten birthday presents as well as Christmas presents because I know those nasty Dursleys don't give him anything. Or if they do, it's something so meagre, so inconsiderate, it would have been better not to give him anything. Now not only do they continue to ignore his birthdays, they send him nails for Christmas. I hate the Dursleys and I know Harry feels the same way.

Sometimes he forgets that I'm here. He snubs me off and it hurts, but then I rebuke him in a way that he will only let me do. He apologises and looks at me with those deep green eyes of his and I can't but forgive him.

His eyes ... his eyes are a wonder. Their colour is amazing. The deepest green to be found anywhere. They sparkle with a youthful mischief which has melted the hearts of many girls. But they also contain something else, sothing almost indescribable. It is the result of grief and pain he has gone through from such an early age. It is the knowledge that someday he will have to face the Dark Lord and somehow defeat him. It is the knowledge that the future of the Wizarding Community rests on his young shoulders. A person so young should not have to carry such a burden with them. Sometimes I wish I could relieve him of this burden, but then he would not be the Harry I know and love. He would be a stranger.

He's sleeping. I've been watching him. His face is peaceful from a good night's rest not disturbed by nightmares. The sun is about to rise. I think about going. Just as I turn, I hear him russling in his bed. He's awake. He reaches for his glasses, his eyes adjusting to the increasing light. He spots me by the windowsill, unsurprised to find me here. He smiles and walks over to join me.

"Goodmorning Hedwig. Have a nice night?"