Easier to Run

Easier to Run

By Summergirl

It's easier to run

Replacing this pain with something numb.

It's so much easier to go

Than face all this pain here all alone.

Padma Patil wiped a tear from her cheek. It was later the night the Yule Ball. The fourteen-year-old let out a sound. It was like a hybrid of a sigh and a sob. Quickly, the fourth year Ravenclaw cradled her head in her hands. The tears were flowing, while she sat alone in the most romantic area of Hogwarts. The Astronomy Tower.

Something has been taken

From deep inside of me.

Padma was thinking about her horrible ball. Ron had done nothing more than ignore her the entire time. How could he know that she had been crushing on him since before Hogwarts? The Weasleys had a reputation, and Padma admired them for putting up with it. Ron struck as particularly strong. He had to put up with Draco Malfoy and his incessant teasing. And, boy, did Ron handle it well.

A secret I've kept locked away

No one can ever see

Wounds so deep they never show

They never go away.

Padma hadn't realized it until that night, but she had an extreme fear of rejection. Padma quickly tucked her fallen hair behind her ears. Ron had hurt her. She had hid her hurt under a mask of anger. But she knew she'd remember this until the day she died.

Like moving pictures in my head

For years an years they play.

Padma kept reliving the ball. What had she done wrong? Was her hair up in the wrong style? Was her dress the wrong color? Or was she just too ugly for Ron to stand? Padma snorted before breaking into tears again. What was wrong with her?

If I could change I would

Take back the pain I would

Retrace every wrong move that I made I would

If I could

Stand up and take the blame I would

If I could take all the shame to the grave I

Would.

Padma almost wished that she could've relived the ball. Maybe do something different. Maybe should've talked to Ron, maybe ask him what he wanted. Or maybe she wouldn't have gone at all.

It's easier to run

Replacing this pain with something numb.

It's so much easier to go

Than face all this pain here all alone.

At least Parvati had managed to get one dance. Padma had gotten nothing. Even the Beauxbatons boy couldn't heal her hurt. She didn't even know his name. But she did know one thing: He liked her for her looks, not her. After managing to understand his French-laden jokes and a dance, she left. She said she had a headache, but she just wanted to get away.

Sometimes I remember

The darkness of my past

Bringing back these memories

I wish I didn't have.

Padma just wanted to hit something. And hit it hard. Maybe even bang her head against it, just so she could forget tonight. This was one of those nights she'd tell her future daughter of after a break-up or something like that. But Padma wanted to forget!

Sometimes I think of letting go

And never looking back

And never moving forward so

There would never be a past.

Padma was pondering over just giving up on guys in general. They either ignored her, or liked her because she looked like Parvati. They didn't look beyond her chocolate hair or pale green eyes. They were the shallowest creatures crawling the Earth.

Just washing it aside

All of the helplessness inside

Pretending I don't feel misplaced

Is so much simpler than change.

Padma breathed in deeply. She seemed to be under control. No way would she ever grace another guy's side. Not as his girlfriend or date, anyway. Unless he showed some virtue distinguishing him from the rest of the gender.

Padma tried wiping away her tear streaks. She sighed, smiling. No way would she ever show them how she really felt.

It's easier to run

Replacing this pain with something numb.

It's so much easier to go

Than face all this pain here all alone.

Padma stood and smoothed out her dress. Over in the corner, she saw a pair snogging. She smiled sadly at the couple. She wanted so badly to be one of them. But she couldn't, not until she was proven wrong.

Just then she heard approaching footsteps. She moved into a darkened corner. The person approaching had fiery red hair and maroon robes with strangely torn ends.

Ronald Weasley.

Padma's heart jump into her throat. It almost choked her, trying to fit in there with the lump. But she stuck out her chin and marched out of her corner and right past him.

"Padma..."

She turned towards him. Her nostrils flared upward. She imagined that she resembled something close to a greatly angered demon.

"What!?"

He recoiled. "I'm sorry. I should have paid you a little more attention. But I didn't and for that I'm sorry." That all came out like a string of endless words, but Padma understood it all.

"Oh, Ron!"

Hormones took over. The fourteen-year-old Ravenclaw forgot her previous pain and hurt. She pulled Ron closer to her. Then she pressed her lips softly to his. A silent thanks. But it communicated her feelings perfectly.

And much to her happiness and surprise, he responded in a very positive way, deepening their kiss.

It's easier to run

Replacing this pain with something numb.

It's so much easier to go

Than face all this pain here all alone.