Shattered Dreams

Hermione sat on the sink, shivering, numerous tears rolling down her cheeks. She was put in the mind of a day similar to this, five years ago. She had been in this very bathroom, sitting in this very spot. Crying.

Because of Ron. Always because of Ron.

Everything had happened so fast. One day things had been looking good. A date had been arranged. She had been looking forward to it. And Ron, it seemed had too.

Then, all in quick succession, Ron's inexplicable icy behavior, the squabble about Ron's goalkeeping ability and now...this.

Suddenly without warning, Ron was on kissing terms with Lavender Brown.

As sad as this made her, she still felt rather glad that she had sent all her masterpiece canaries flying at Ron. He deserved it, the way he had led her on for so long.

But what, she thought desperately, could I have possibly done to make Ron do this?

I suppose I sounded a bit doubtful about his goalkeeping abilities. But no...he started acting unpleasant even before that. I know I didn't do anything, not that I know of. It makes no sense.

I really thought he fancied me! She thought, another tear slipping out, the evidence pointed all the way...

She looked into the bleak, cracked mirror which somehow seemed to reflect her heart at that moment. Her hair was tousled and her eyes were red and puffy.

So this was it. Any relation she had had to Ron was over. As a friend, possible boyfriend, future husband perhaps...that was all down the drain now. All these years of hoping, dreaming...and this was what it had come to.

And it made her sadder than she had felt in her whole life to think that her connection with Ron was over. His flaming hair and adorable shower of freckles came to mind. She would miss forever his silly jokes, the way his ears turned red, the way he had taken so much interest in her life, even their arguments. She would miss it all.

Well, you can't have everything you want in life, she tried to reason with herself, you're bound to have some disappointments. But logic did not render to her aid as it had so many times before. Besides, this wasn't just a little disappointment. Her heart...was broken.

She looked up at the clock. It was nearly nine. She would have to return to her dormitory. But what if she saw Ron and Lavender on the way there?

Just ignore them, she thought, Pretend like they aren't there.

But Hermione knew within herself that she could never do that, really. She was an expert at ignoring people whom she cared nothing about, such as Draco Malfoy and all the Slytherins. Ron, on the other hand...she could never really ignore him, no matter how much she pretended to.

Hermione left the bathroom and sped down the corridors, hardly paying any attention to her surroundings. She drew some hair closer around her face so her teary eyes would not be as noticeable.

She reached the Fat Lady and mumbled the password.

"Why, what's the matter, dear?" cried the Fat Lady.

But Hermione ignored her, feeling the last she felt like doing was pouring out her soul to a painting, and climbed thru the hole.

She was relieved to see that the common room was still very crowded. She kept her head down to avoid seeing something she didn't want to see....

The whole thing was disgusting, really, she thought as she traipsed up the stairs, the way he had been kissing her....and it wasn't just because it was Ron doing that with Lavender, it somehow wouldn't seem right for anyone to be acting like that...

She entered her dormitory and was relieved to find it empty. She wanted to be in bed and asleep before Lavender came up and started giggling to Parvati about Ron.

She got ready for bed at top speed, extinguished the lights and crawled into bed.

The darkness disturbed her now as it always did in troubled times, but she couldn't turn on the lights for fear that Lavender or Parvati would see her face and guess that she had been crying.

For awhile it seemed unbearable--she tried not to think, it was too painful. But thoughts still forced their way into her mind. Most were quite negative, but one seemed to be slightly more uplifting. Could it be possible that Ron still fancied her, but that he was doing this to spite her because of the argument they had had after the game?

But, she thought angrily, I wasn't really criticizing him, more what I thought Harry had done. And it was a stupid reason to get so upset. I mean, my side of the argument made perfect sense. He's just being illogical. But if that is the case, then it's like he's using Lavender.

Hermione found it difficult to feel sorry for Lavender Brown at a time like this, but her anger at Ron did rise.

But I could be wrong. Maybe he really has taken a sudden fancy to Lavender.

At this, she felt her eyes fill with tears yet again.

She cried herself to sleep.

It was a very uneasy sleep. She dreamed that she could hear whispers encircling the school...Ron's going out with Lavender, did you know? Ron's and Lavender's faces appeared on the front page of the newspaper. It was wedding announcement...the mirror from the lavatory wove in and out of her dreams, looking more cracked each time, until finally it shattered...

When Hermione woke up the next morning, for a moment she hoped desperately that the events of the previous night had all been bad dream. But these hopes were dashed almost immediately by the sound of Lavender giggling in her sleep.

She got up and walked over to the window. The sky was a cold sort of gray and clouds hung drearily over the scene. She sighed and turned away.

It was time to begin life without Ron.