Song of the Sea

Chapter Three- The Utter Confusion

"CAPTAIN!! I HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS GODAMNED WOMAN!" The pirate's exasperated shout cut through the late morning air like a screech of rust. "CAPTAIN! JUST THROW HER OVER, PLEASE!" Diane chuckled under her breath--she'd fixed the pirate's problem with his legs. They were positively dancing now.

Sparrow swaggered over and cast a weary look at his first mate, who was now doing a sort of quickstep dance. He then shot Diane a stern glance, which she returned with an expression of innocent determination. It didn't work. "Miss--Diane, I thought I told you not to do damage to my crew?"

"I didn't do damage. He tripped and was cursing about his legs not working properly. This jinx actually improves circulation," said Diane in her sweetest tones. She glanced at the now-hopping pirate, who threw the filthiest look he could muster while doing a jig. Sparrow rolled his eyes and turned back to his steering, calling to her over his shoulder.

"Stop that, Diane. Stop it, savvy?" Diane scowled, but removed the curse nonetheless. The unfortunate man growled profanity under his breath at her, and she responded with an amused smirk. She resumed her daily rounds on the ship, making sure that everything was working properly. It was easier than responding to loud, crude calls all day. She spotted several cracking boards and repaired them, too lazy to conjure some blue ones. She cast a look over the ship--most of it was black, but some portions were brilliant oranges, greens, and reds, creating a rather comical effect. The Black Pearl was no longer remotely menacing.

"Land!" came a call from the crow's nest. Diane whipped around and dashed to the bow of the ship. She could see nothing from her perspective, but after a few minutes, a strip of greenish-brown appeared on the horizon. It was an odd sight after several days of open Caribbean sea. Immediately, after the call, the ship's deck burst into activity, with all of the crew on deck and yelling orders at each other. Despite the days of helping out, she still had no idea what was going on, simply doing what was asked of her. Or rather, hollered at her. At the moment, she was being hollered at to stay out of the way. Gladly, she climbed to the very tip of the bow, perching herself precariously on top of the figurehead.

"Watch yourself, Diane. Wouldn't want you to fall in, now would we?" drawled Sparrow. Diane shot him a look and turned her gaze back to the land. It was steadily drawing nearer, and she could actually see landforms coming into focus. "Diane. Get off of there, darling. It's not stable."

"Don't call me 'darling', Captain Jack Sparrow," she said. He merely grinned and offered her his hand. She ignored him and tried to slide down herself, but her skirt caught on the figurehead's shoulder and she almost toppled into the water. Quick as a flash, Sparrow dashed forward and grabbed hold of her waist, easily swinging her back on board.

"Of course not, Miss Diane Whitten," he smirked. She tried to spit an insult at him, but her heart rate hadn't yet slowed down from nearly falling overboard. Settling for an even look, she leaned on the railing. She'd seen debris and what not sometimes floating out in the open sea, and this strip of land seemed to be some vastly misshapen log for all she could see through the remnants of morning fog. After a few minutes, she grew restless and headed back into the captain's quarters. Locking the door and pulling off her dress, she quickly murmured a Showering Charm and a Laundering Spell for her dress. The pirates on board didn't store much by hygiene, and she'd had to slip behind their backs to wash. She'd also shot jets of soapy water at them whenever they started smelling, although Sparrow had told her to at least warn the crew before she did so.

Seven minutes later, she was washed and dried and had cleared up the puddle of water. She headed over to the library and picked up a dusty little book from a corner of the room. Slipping it into her pocket, she headed back on deck. She was still debating with herself over whether to go on land or not. Sparrow had vaguely described to her, and even then she figured it wouldn't be a pretty sight. On the other hand, she really could use some fresh sets of clothing and parchment, and there were bound to be wizards there. After several minutes of internal debate, she decided on a compromise; she'd explore for today, and if she found wizards, she'd stick around. If not, she'd stay on board.

The door creaked open just as she was reaching for the handle and she leapt back. "Oh, sorry. I startled you, didn't I?"

"Are you disembarking now, Jack?" asked Diane, avoiding the question.

"No. We'll be gathering our gold and what not for now. I'll tell you when we're ready to leave, Diane. If you're coming, you should stay with me. You'll not be in a normal town." She thought for a moment. She really wanted to just explore on her own, but on second thought, she didn't know the place and would most likely get lost. The best she could do was to cast the Identification Spell on her skirt and hope for the best. Walking around the ship, she quietly murmured the spell, marking her clothing with a silver coat of arms. She spent most of the rest of the morning helping with the boats and anchoring the ship. The pirates milled around for a bit, and in the afternoon, they headed out to land.

The Black Pearl was anchored a little ways from shore, and the pirates were using small boats to row themselves into the town. With a disdainful glance at the rough ropes and ladders, she simply Apparated into the boat next to Sparrow, who gallantly offered her a hand. She rolled her eyes, but let him haul her to her feet. Even at this distance, she could hear crude shouts and see lights flickering. She pulled out her wand and slipped it through a strap attached to her clothing, just in case. Sparrow shot a wary look at the wand, but nodded, saying, "You'll want that, Diane.

The boats steadily moved closer and closer to shore, and Diane could feel a swell of apprehension and excitement rise up inside her. She gripped the wand and rubbed the handle as a sort of worry stone. The excitement of the pirates seemed to be rising as well as they discussed how they were going to have "a bit of fun". Ignoring the more graphic descriptions, she idly twirled her wand. When their boat gently bumped into shore, Sparrow leapt out and offered her a hand, which she accepted as the waves were increasing in size. She stepped ashore and, for the first time in a week, felt solid ground underneath her feet, rather than a wooden deck that lurched and bucked. Her relief must've shown, because Sparrow gave her a cockeyed grin while helping another boat to shore. "Quite the landlubber act there, Miss Diane."

"No landlubber would strike a deal with a pirate, Cap--Jack," scowled Diane.

"I don't want any escape attempts, Diane. You get lost in this town and you stay lost, so stay close. Savvy?" said Sparrow in an uncharacteristically serious tone. She nodded and followed him into the town. She could hear the drunken yells and shouts clearly now and could almost taste the smell of corruption and crime that seemed to infuse the very air. She stuck closer to Sparrow as they headed out onto the narrow main alley, sidestepping refuse, trash, and Merlin knew what else. The smell of sour alcohol was overwhelming, and she considered performing a Bubble-Head Charm before remembering where she was. Keeping close to Sparrow, who seemed to know his way around, she gripped her wand tightly.

Most of the buildings were wooden, and many of the boards were rotting and peeling, adding to the dirty feeling. As they rounded a corner, a man was suddenly in her face. Actually, he looked more like an ape, and seemed to have the intelligence of one. "Now, aren't you a purty gal?" he leered, grabbing her left shoulder. Diane swore and raised her wand, but--

"Back away from the lass, Derret, real nice and slow," said Sparrow coolly from behind her, and he forced her wand arm down. The ape-man blinked blearily at him, then spat in contempt at his feet.

"And why should I back off to scurvy like yerself, Jack Sparrow?"

"Captain Jack Sparrow to you. And you'll back off because if you don't, I'll be happy to injure you...savvy?" The ape glared askance at him, but left nonetheless, cursing under his bad breath. Sparrow released her wand arm, and gave her an unreadable look. "Don't do any magic here, ok, love?" She sighed and nodded.

"Fine, but don't call me 'love', Captain." He gave a mock bow and they headed on further down the road. Sparrow stopped at several buildings, presumably to say his hellos and buy small supplies for the ship. Diane simply stayed in his shadow, attracting many odd looks, but no questions or comments, for which she was grateful. But surely a wizard would've noticed the coat of arms and asked her something by now? After all, the Identification Spell was only used in hostage situations or emergencies. Preoccupied, she almost ran into Sparrow when he stopped in front of one of the few three-story buildings. "What is this place?" she asked in puzzlement.

"A bar, eatery, and brothel all in one. First story is--" He stopped dead and laughed at the revolted expression on Diane's face.

"A what?! A brothel?!" she hissed. Sparrow rolled his eyes, still chuckling.

"I warned you, Diane. Don't say I didn't. You can either wait inside or outside, and I would suggest inside." He headed for the door.

"WHAT?! Wait inside that--that brothel?!" said Diane hysterically. Sparrow sighed and rolled his eyes at her.

"Third floor's the brothel. See you later." With that, he walked inside, leaving Diane standing there like an idiot. She cursed under her breath, and struggled with herself over whether to walk in or not. She carefully stepped away from the doorway and started heading out onto the main street when she remembered Sparrow's warning about getting lost. There was a small ledge within shouting distance of the building, and she decided to simply sit there and read a bit. Looking around her, however, she saw several very drunk-looking pirates swaying down the street toward her, and they looked none too friendly. She swore again and headed in.

Her first impression was noise. Noise, so loud that she screwed up her face and stuck her wand back in her pocket, clapping her hands over her ears. Everywhere, it seemed, there were shouting, brawling, dirty men with bottles of rum in their hands. Clearly, this was the bar. Her heart sank--evidently no one here was a wizard. Then again, no self-respecting wizard would be caught dead here. Those in the magical world tended to have a bit more dignity than common criminals.

Still holding her ears, Diane stooped her shoulders slightly and slowly weaved her way through the mass of fighting people, assuming the position that she'd learned from Peter to deflect attention. She never thought that she'd be thanking him for anything, but found herself praising him under her breath. After an eternity of swearing drunkards swinging punches over her head, she finally made it to the other wall. There was a smaller room through a doorway, and it seemed quieter than the one she was in. She squeezed to the side of a particularly drunk person, dodging the flailing fists, and slipped into the room.

It was much, much quieter in here and there were many small tables. "Quieter" was respective, as there was still much shouting and brawling, but not a moshpit. She spotted Sparrow lurking in a corner with--Merlin forbid--what looked like a prostitute. Biting her lip, Diane headed over to him. He was holding a bottle of rum and raised his eyebrows at her as he spotted her. "Missing me already, Diane?"

"Hardly, Captain Jack Sparrow. I thought you were above this?" she said coolly, gesturing toward the bar and the hooker. The prostitute scowled at her, but she merely shot her a quelling look.

"What can I say, Diane? I'm a red-blooded male...I'm human," he said sardonically. She scowled heavily at him and pulled out her wand again.

"I'm leaving. Right now, and don't you dare try to stop me," she hissed. With that, she turned to go, but Sparrow reached out and grabbed her arm.

"I thought that you were bound to do my bidding, not the other way around? You'll get lost if you leave now, and remember what I said about that." She glared at him coldly, but he ignored her look. He brushed the hooker off, earning himself another nasty glare from a female and hauled Diane out of the dingy building. He strode toward the town limits, still dragging her along. As the ship came into view, he turned on her, sounding angry for the first time.

"Listen, Miss. I'm a pirate, a scalawag, a criminal. Don't tell me what I can or cannot do. Now get back onboard unless you want to be killed by some idiot," he said coldly. As he turned away, her temper snapped. She shot a stream of swearing after him, along with several jets of silver sparks. Before he could yell at her or retaliate, she Apparated onto the deck of the Black Pearl, seething. Two of the pirates were still on board and quickly got out of her way as she stormed across the ships and climbed up onto the crow's nest.

She pulled out the little book she'd grabbed earlier. Still trying to slow her heart rate from her burst of temper, she opened it. It was utterly blank. She assumed that Sparrow and his crew had not meant to grab this, but accidentally picked it up. At the thought of Jack Sparrow, she muttered some more profanity and tried to put him out of her mind. Feeling annoyed with the world, she headed back down to the library and threw the little book into a corner. Rather than heading to the captain's quarters as she usually did to read, she simply Summoned a few blankets and made herself a sort of nest in the corner nearest the window, taking full advantage of the daylight streaming through the window. There was a rare book of plays that she'd been meaning to look at for some time. She curled up and lost herself in the world of drama.

The sun had set and she was reading by a mix of wandlight and moonlight when she started feeling tired again. She got up and started heading for the captain's quarters when she scowled. Sparrow would probably be dead drunk if he did come aboard, which he probably wouldn't. But that was no bet that the other pirates might not try anything on her. She shot a Muggle-Repelling Charm at the door and Summoned her jar of flames before curling up in the blankets and going to sleep. The next morning, and the next day, she stayed in the little room, only Summoning food and water when she really needed it. Eventually she'd have to face Sparrow and his crew, but not now if she could help it...

Diane woke with a start on the third morning in port. She could indeed hear footsteps of people and voices hollering out orders. This was how she usually woke up, but the pirates couldn't be back this early? She expected them to stay for a few more days of drinking before they left, but sure enough, there was the usual buzz of activity on the upper decks of the ship. She did the usual morning Showering and Laundering Charms before removing the Muggle-Repelling Charm and heading up on deck. She'd barely gone two steps before someone called, "Ah, here's our young truant enchantress!"

Diane wearily turned around and faced Sparrow. Her temper had burned out, but was replaced by a tired sulleness. "What do you want?"

"To apologize for my behavior. It was rather crude of me to be short with you. I often forget that you're not a pirate or a member of my crew." His face was impassive, but his eyes were serious, for once.

"If I'm not a pirate or part of the crew, than what am I?" she said in a bored tone. How many times had she heard this type of apology from her father?

He cocked an eyebrow at her. "A guest, at best. A great help and asset, most of the time. A prisoner, at worst." Without waiting for a reply, he headed off to steer his ship. Diane was torn between cursing him into oblivion and giving him the benefit of the doubt. She eventually opted to reserve judgment for a friendly neutrality, and sighed as she once again was called upon to help ready the ship for the open sea. Pirates with hangovers weren't very helpful, so she simply shot jets of icy cold, soapy water at them whenever they stopped being coherent.