My Shadow

Harry and Draco fic

The words weren't going in. He slammed his book on the table unable to concentrate. Why was he being so distracted? He put his head in his hands. He knew why really, but didn't want to admit it. He had made a promise to himself never to tell a soul. No one would ever know what haunted his dreams at night, or during the day for that matter.

Harry sat gazing at the fire. He and Ron were up late again trying to complete homework for tomorrow. Most people had already gone to bed. It was 11 o clock and Harry could feel his eyelids drooping.

'Ron are you finished yet? I'm too tired to focus.' Harry asked.

'Yeah almost,' he put down his quill, 'there finished.' He looked up at Harry. 'Man that was boring.' Harry smiled. They packed up their quills and parchment and made their way upstairs.

Harry collapsed on his bed and was asleep in moments.

During the night he was plagued by one of his stranger dreams. He woke abruptly to the eerie silence of his dorm hearing only his own breathing and his heart thumping in his chest. He had been walking through the forbidden forest wearing his invisibility cloak when a shadowy figure appeared out of nowhere. Their face was masked though Harry sensed familiarity. The figure reached out a slender hand and stroked Harry's cheek completely oblivious to the cloak, which was now on the floor. The figure then leaned forward and whispered in Harry's ear

'I'm sorry.' Without warning the figure vanished and was replaced by Lord Voldemort with Lucius Malfoy standing right behind him smirking.

'My son will rise up.'

Then Voldemort lifted his wand and said, 'Crucio!' Immense pain flooded every single nerve of his. Harry collapsed and a scream escaped his lips. He had now woken up, and was unable to get back to sleep.

However dreams like this he had had before and he tried his best to ignore them. He turned over in his bed and was now facing Ron's sleeping form. He continued to watch his friend until the power of sleep over powered him and he slipped back into a dreamless sleep.

After lunch Harry, Hermione and Ron made their way down to the dungeons for Potions. They stood outside with their fellow Gryffindors facing the Slytherins. Most people were quiet going over things in their minds for the test today. Harry looked around. It almost seemed too quiet. He noticed Malfoy wasn't among the crowd. He puzzled a moment before hearing the echoing footsteps followed by the usual voice of Snape saying

'Everyone enter. I hope you've studied well for your test today.' A small curve of a smile crept onto his face. Behind Snape walked Malfoy. Harry watched him and thought it odd he ignored him, although he wasn't unhappy about it.

Rather than the usual practical test Snape handed round a paper. On closer inspection Harry saw a list of fifty questions.

'In preparation for your end of year exams you must study the history of potion making,' Snape said, 'you may begin.' Everyone took out their quills and began to start answering. Question one who first started using potions and why? Question two who discovered Veritaserum? Question three ... and so the questions went on. At about question six Harry looked around the room. Everyone was frantically writing away. Hermione must be on question 15 by now he thought. Harry's gaze settled on Malfoy. He was just staring at the paper. His expression appeared pre-occupied and Harry thought it looked like he had been crying. Harry smiled to himself. Malfoy crying ha ha he thought. Harry tried to focus back on the paper in front of him. He had only forty-five minutes left. The scratching of the quills around him seemed really loud. Come on Harry concentrate he thought. Why is silence so distracting?

Once they had left the dungeon and started to work their way back to the common room Hermione asked

'So how did you find Snape's test?'

'Oh yeah,' said Ron, 'piece of cake, I so got an A. I mean how are we supposed to know who discovered the sleeping potion? Don't you agree Harry?' Ron nudged him. Harry looked at them.

'Hmm..? Sorry?'

'Harry, are you alright?' Hermione asked as they entered the common room. Harry collapsed on a chair in front of the fire before answering.

'Yeah I think so. It's just Malfoy was acting really weird and I swear he looked like he had been crying and I had this dream last night with Voldemort and Lucius Malfoy.' Ron shuddered at Voldemort's name. Harry missed out the part of the shadowy figure that had stroked his face. He didn't know why exactly.

'That is strange,' Hermione answered. Ron nodded.

That night the shadowy figure featured in Harry's dream again although he didn't wake covered in sweat. Instead it was a nice dream however strange. Harry was sat by the lake, watching the ripples of the wind on its surface when the figure seated themselves next to him. He or she was wearing black trousers and jumper even though their face was still obscured by something, which Harry couldn't remember when he woke up. When Harry was facing them, the person brought their hand up to stroke Harry's cheek, just like before. He or she then brought their hand down to rest on Harry's hand. Harry stared at the person's hand on his. It was a pale hand with soft skin that had a light, but firm, touch. Harry lay down on his back the figure beside him and he seemed to feel content even though he still didn't know who the person was.

He was still pondering this when he went down to breakfast and found Ron and Hermione there, talking. They smiled at him as he sat down. On the table opposite he could make out Malfoy's pale form. Harry didn't realise he was staring until Malfoy looked up at him. Harry quickly looked away, Draco's face still in his mind. His expression hadn't been angry or sarcastic, but kind of sad. Harry wondered what was wrong with him.

It was Saturday so the three of them sat in the common room out of the cold winds outside. Hermione was doing her homework and Ron was playing wizard's chess with Ginny. Harry decided to take a walk. The halls were empty, except for a few students passing through on their way the their warm common rooms. Everyone was inside because of the weather. Harry wondered through the halls. Who is that figure in my dreams? He sat on a bench and tried to make sense of things. The hallway was silent except for the rustle of the portraits. He cast his gaze to the walls. Pictures were everywhere, most were oblivious to him. He had many unanswered question. Who is the shadowy figure? Why did it stroke his face? Why did Draco look at him like that? Does Draco have any connection?

Harry sat on the cold, stone bench for about an hour before deciding he was no better off, and making his way back to the common room.

Meanwhile Draco sat on his bed listening to the raging wind outside his window. The faint murmur of the downstairs was drowned out by the thunder outside. Draco had always loved storms. The energy of the lightning and the crash of the thunder. Such an immense show of power. It was enchanting. He lent his elbows on the windowsill and watched, transfixed, as forks of lightning struck the ground. He felt content at the moment. No longer confused about what was happening in his mind.

Sunday was a lot quieter than yesterday. Harry went down to breakfast with Ron and Hermione and tried to just let everything wash over him. Afterwards Hermione dragged Ron off to the library to do some work. Harry didn't feel like going with them so he went outside. The storm had cleared, but it was still cold. He walked over to the lake. It was so peaceful. He sat and lent his back against the great oak tree. Just as he began to relax he heard footsteps on the frozen grass behind him. He tensed and listened hard as the person approached. He didn't look because he wanted to stay hidden. They were almost in sight. Harry guessed they were oblivious to him. They passed right by the tree. Harry didn't realise they were so close. To his surprise it was Draco. He didn't look his usual smirking self, just pre-occupied and thoughtful. He sat on the rock 10 metres from Harry and stared out across the lake. Harry merely sat and watched him. After some time Harry saw Draco's face relax. Then his face turned to stare Harry right in the eye. His expression wasn't angry, but Harry noticed it slightly softened. Draco continued to look at him. Harry risked showing a smile. Draco continued to stare then Harry saw the traces of a smile on Draco's face. Harry turned to look back out at the lake. Draco had smiled at him. He could feel Draco's eyes on him. Five minutes later he heard Draco stand up and start to walk, slowly. Harry tilted his head to see Draco was walking towards him. As he neared Harry moved over and Draco sat down in silence and leaned back against the tree.

Neither of them spoke for a time then Draco said

'Why are you out here?' Harry thought for a moment then answered

'Probably the same reasons as you,' he paused, 'to make sense of what I don't understand.'

'To figure out what everything means,' Draco looked out at the lake, 'to admit to myself how I feel.' Harry looked at him. He had the same distant expression as before.

'Did you find out what it meant?' Draco turned to Harry.

'Yes I did' he replied simply looking Harry in the eye. Draco brought his hand up and gently stroked Harry's face. Something inside Harry clicked. He smiled and brought his hand up to where Draco's had been.

'I understand,' he whispered.

'Understand what?' Draco said, confused.

'I understand who the shadowy figure is in my dreams. It's you.'

'You dream about me Harry?' He said, smiling.

'Well...well what makes sense to you then?' Harry said smiling too.

'Um... The fact that I began to look at something... someone in a different light.' Draco's hand moved and rested lightly on Harry's. Harry glanced down at Draco's hand covering his and grasped Draco's hand back. He looked back at Draco. His clear, grey eyes focused on his own green ones. Harry looked back out at the lake, which now had the sun glistening off of it. On Harry's shoulder he felt Draco's head. Draco's hand was warm in his own and Harry felt happy that Draco was here.

'Harry?' Draco said

'Yeah?' He replied

'How do you feel?' Harry looked at Draco.

'About what?'

'About your dreams?' Draco sat up and looked at him, 'Me?'

'I...I'm not sure anymore,' he sighed, 'my feelings have changed. What about you?'

'Yeah my feelings have changed too.' Draco rested his head back on Harry's shoulder. Harry shivered.

'Are you cold?' Draco asked.

'Yeah a bit.' Draco put his arms around Harry. He was surprisingly warm.

'The wind is picking up isn't it?' Draco said. Harry nodded. 'Do you want to go back inside?' Harry gazed at him.

'In a minute.' Harry brought his hand up and stroked Draco's cheek. Draco smiled and took both of Harry's hands in his. He leaned forward and kissed Harry lightly on the cheek. His lips were warm and soft. Then he pressed his lips on Harry's. Draco pulled Harry's hands to encircle his waist and Harry was kissing him back. When Harry pulled back and looked at Draco his eyes were so intent as they stared back at him. 'We really should be going back.' Draco nodded. Harry shivered again.

'Yeah,' he stood up, 'are you ok Harry?'

'Yeah I'm fine. Just cold that's all.' Draco helped him up. Looking at Harry, Draco realised he had no coat on, just his shirt. He looked freezing. Draco took hold of his left hand. It was icy cold.

'Harry you're freezing.' Draco tried to pull his coat to cover the freezing boy's shoulders. It didn't really work though. Draco was a bit worried and was about to offer his jacket when Harry stopped so suddenly that Draco tripped and almost fell over.

'What's wrong?' he asked. Instead of answering Harry collapsed and Draco only just managed to break his fall. Carefully he laid Harry down on the floor.

'Ok... Don't panic,' he murmured to himself. He looked around, but no one was in sight. 'Help me somebody!' he shouted, but no answer, 'Harry's hurt!' he tried again, but silence hung in the air. Draco looked down at Harry's sleeping body. He bent down and successfully managed to lift Harry into his arms. He was surprisingly light in weight. Draco made his way up to Hogwarts, over the empty fields. The halls were empty inside. He guessed most people were having lunch or something.

Once up to the hospital wing Madame Pomfrey made a big fuss, as usual.

'Madame Pomfrey Harry fainted outside. I think he has hypothermia.'

'Bring him here. That's it on the bed,' the nurse helped him, 'Draco you look exhausted. Come, come. Lie down here.'

'What's wrong with Harry?' The nurse made him lie on the bed and shoved some chocolate in his mouth.

'He'll be fine Draco. You stay here and I'll see to him. Rest now.' Madame Pomfrey pulled the curtains shut. Draco fell back on the pillow. How could he relax? Harry is ill. He tried to listen to what the nurse was saying or doing. This didn't last long as the power of sleep was too much. He fell into a dreamless sleep.

When he awoke, the curtains were still shut, but he could hear voices, two voices. They weren't talking loud so he had to strain his ears. He recognised both voices. One was Hermione. She didn't sound as angry or scared as the other person, he guessed as Ron. Draco got out of his bed. He needed to see Harry. He pushed open the curtain. Hermione turned to face him, followed by Ron. They both fell silent and stared at him. Draco ignored them and moved towards Harry.

'Draco what d-' Ron started

'Shhh,' Hermione replied, watching Draco intently. Draco moved and sat on the small, white stool at Harry's head. At first he just watched Harry's chest rise and fall with his breathing. Then he reached out and smoothed Harry's hair from his face. His skin was warm under his fingers, not clammy like it was before. How long ago was that anyway? Snapping back to reality he turned to Hermione and Ron. They just stood and stared back at him.

'Um...Hermione what's the time?' she didn't answer straight away so he added 'I kind of lost track of it when I brought Harry in here.'

'Oh it's... um... 5 o clock,' she paused then said, 'what did you mean when you said you brought Harry in here?'

'Well...' he started, a bit embarrassed, 'he collapsed outside from the cold. He might've had hypothermia or something.' He didn't particularly want to recount all the things he had realised outside.

'And you care Malfoy?' Ron asked.

'Ron!' Hermione interrupted, 'anything could've happened out there for all you know.'

'Yeah anything did happen,' Draco mumbled to himself. To Ron and Hermione he said 'so before you guys break into another argument do you know what's wrong with Harry?'

'What d'you care?'

'Ron shut up. Look Madame Pomfrey said he did get really cold, but it wasn't hypothermia. It was lucky someone brought him in here when they did.' Ron nodded in agreement.

Um... that was me,' Draco said in a small voice. Didn't I just say that? He asked himself. Ron's head shot up.

'You! You brought Harry in?' Ron walked towards Draco.

'Er... Yeah... I did.' Draco looked at the floor and then he looked at Harry.

'Why?' Draco tore his gaze from Harry to look at Ron's face, a mix of anger and concern flashed across his freckled face. He didn't know what to say. He couldn't say the truth and no lies were floating around his already confused brain.

'I...um...guess I saw him collapse. So... I... just brought him to the nurse. Why are you interrogating me?'

'Well beca-'

'Ron just shut it! Draco may not exactly like Harry, but I don't think he'd leave him if he's hurt. Right Draco?'

'Well yeah, mostly,' Draco said, 'no I wouldn't leave him when he's hurt, and yes I... do... like Harry.' Draco looked at Harry to avoid the surprised looks of Ron and Hermione.

'You like Harry?' Hermione said, in an are-you-kidding tone of voice.

'Yeah I... do,' at this point Draco started to feel kind of embarrassed, 'look I don't wanna talk about this right now.' He got up, took one last look at Harry and left the hospital wing.

Once again Draco was sat on his bed, secluded from everyone in the common room talking about things, and once again Draco was pre-occupied and fidgety.

After a while the sounds of the common room died away. Draco guessed they had all gone to dinner. He decided to go and see Harry again. He could be alone this time. He felt awkward talking to Hermione and Ron, of all people, about it all.

Harry lay peacefully in the hospital bed. Draco sat on the white stool. He began to stroke Harry's hair. It felt smooth and soft under his fingertips. Draco wished with all his heart that Harry would be ok. Yes Hermione said he would be, but He couldn't get out of his head the image of Harry falling to the floor. The way his hands were so cold compared to his own. Draco reached out to touch Harry's hand. He picked it up to hold in his own again.

Suddenly the big, wooden door of the wing opened. Draco saw Hermione walk in. She stopped. Draco quickly let go of Harry's hand and stood up.

'Hello Draco,' she said, walking towards him and Harry.

'Hi Hermione. I was just-'

'Listen it's ok. I know you really do care about him,' she paused, 'can I ask you something?'

'I suppose so.'

'Do you know why Harry was outside?' she hesitated before adding, 'were you with him Draco?' he paused, sat down again and said,

'Yes I know why he was out there and yes I was with him.' Hermione grabbed a nearby chair and sat down next to Draco.

'Draco,' he looked up at her. He didn't feel like talking about Harry. 'Do you think, maybe... that...you love...Harry?' at this Draco stared at her, and then he looked at Harry then down at his feet. It would explain what he is feeling. He didn't really know anymore, but Hermione's words seemed to make sense (like they always do). He looked up at her and she noticed slight tears in his eyes. This is big she thought.

'I think I do... I love him.'

'I love you too.' Draco's head whipped around. Harry's bright, green eyes were staring back at him.

'Harry?' Draco said, gasping.

'Yes I'm here,' he replied. Draco hesitated before reaching down and putting his arms around Harry. He felt the other boy's arms reaching up around his waist, 'Draco?'

'Yes?' he replied finally disentangling his arms from Harry, 'You know I heard that last bit of conversation.'

'Really?' he said. Draco sat on the side of Harry's bed. He didn't even realise Hermione leaving behind him.

'Draco what's wrong?' he reached up to hug Draco again.

'It's just I wasn't sure if you were going to be ok,' he smiled, 'I was worried you know.' Harry sat up and lent against the wall.

'Did you really mean what you said?' said Harry.

'Which bit?' he asked enquiringly. Harry paused before answering.

'When you said you loved me.' he looked Harry in the eye.

'Yes I did.'

'So did I,' they embraced again and stayed in the comfort of each other's arms.

'Ah it's so cute, don't you think?'

'Well I don't know. I mean it's Malfoy! It's... strange to say the least.' Ron and Hermione were stood at the doorway to the hospital wing watching Harry and Draco. They didn't mean to spy, but Harry was still their friend and they wanted to make sure he was fine.

Once Harry and Draco had stopped hugging Hermione walked towards them and Ron followed. Draco was feeling a bit uncomfortable, but Harry wasn't. Noticing his discomfort Harry took Draco's hand in his own. Draco smiled at him, not sure whether he felt better or not. He was ok around Hermione, it was just Ron. Ron was Harry's best friend he couldn't ignore him completely. In Draco's mind his father's words whirled around. 'Weasley, poor excuse for a wizard.' 'Weasley's should be muggles since they love them so much.' He looked at Ron. Could he ever get on with the boy? Or was he sentenced to obey his father and follow him by hating them. Ron only wanted what's best for Harry just like he did. What's wrong with that? Draco wasn't sure. He certainly couldn't shove the built up hatred aside that quickly. It would take time before he could trust him properly.

Draco forced his attention back to Harry. He was smiling and Draco couldn't help but smile too. Out of the corner of his eye he could see Ron frowning at him. He obviously feels the same way about me that I feel about him, he thought. At least we have one thing in common.