A Conversation

"Hello, Remus."

I didn't even have to look up from my parchment; I knew that voice so well.

"Hello, Sirius."

"How have you been, Moony?"

"Pretty good considering the last of my best friends just died," I replied, dipping my quill into the glossy ink and scrawling meaningless words across the paper.

"Now don't say that. You've still got Peter."

I paused the quill to look up and glare at Sirius. He was seated quite casually in an armchair, gazing at me with a bemused expression I had not seen him use since he got out of Azkaban.

"That isn't funny." I looked back down at my work.

"No, no, of course it isn't." I heard him get up and walk over to me, felt him rest his hands on my shoulders, his lips pressed close to my ear. I could almost feel the warmth of his breath. "Nothing is funny to you, Remus, ever the serious one."

His hands crawled down past my shoulders to my collarbones, his fingers lingering there to press into the hollows that had grown even deeper since that night at the Ministry of Magic.

"Don't." I got up and broke away, keeping my eyes on the pattern of the ornate rug.

"Why?" demanded Sirius.

"Because...because you're dead," I replied, my voice hoarse. I dared a glance at him. "Because you're not real."

"So you're going to just give up these dreams, these fantasies?" said Sirius, coming towards me. For every step he took forward I took a step back. "You didn't when I was in Azkaban, and I was practically dead to you then."

"This is different."

"How so?"

I stopped. Sirius smiled as he closed the distance between us. His hands went up, brushing softly through my hair, smoothing the waves...

My breath hitched and I shut my eyes, tilting my head back in agony. "You're gone."

"Yes," said his lips against the thin skin of my neck, "yes, I'm gone forever. You've lost your chance."

I swallowed. "Then why are you still here?"

"Because you want me to be." He brushed a tender kiss on my throat, then drew back. His deadened black eyes bore into my own. "You still love me."

"Of course I still love you," I breathed, resting my hands on his hips. My thumbs drew circles in the hollows made by his pelvic bone. "I loved you even when I thought you had betrayed James."

I closed my eyes as my lips pressed against Sirius's. Slowly or mouths opened. He tasted of honey and of ash.

I pulled away.

"I miss you," I whispered.

Then I turned around, leaving my back to him. Taking a deep, shuddering breath, I closed my eyes again.

"Now go away."

"Are you sure you want that?" he said softly, letting his fingers splay out across my shoulder blades.

"Yes."

"All right." His hands disappeared. "Good-bye, Moony."

I stood for a moment, listening to the silence, then went back to my desk and continued to write.