Crash & Burn

Chapter 2: The Element of Surprise

Suddenly everything in the room became unfocused as Snape's lungs screamed for air. Severus felt something tightening around his neck and automatically his hands shot up to his throat as he struggled to free himself. He felt his head being yanked backward and a cracking sound coming from his neck. He cursed himself for letting down his guard, as he gasped for breath.

"Grawb." Snape tried to speak, but could not form the words. He tried to swallow, but found it impossible. As the pulling force increased, his spine bent unnaturally, causing his hood to slip down.

As she caught a glimpse of his greasy black hair, she released the belt as if it were on fire. No! It can't be him - it just can't! Memories sprouted like weeds and made the living room spin. She had to sit down on the floor in order to try and regain her balance.

Snape took the device that had been strangling him and threw it on the sofa; he realized it was an innocent belt. His throat was on fire, and when he tried to take a deep breath, he found it only increased the pain and he began to cough. Everything around him was foggy and he placed his face in his hands. Damn her!

She looked at the figure on the couch. No, it can't be him! Why would he come here? But she knew it was him and felt something twist in her stomach. When she heard him cough she couldn't help but smile; she had succeeded in surprising none other than Severus Snape - the man known for his catlike instincts.

But, how was he able to track me? She knew why she hadn't changed her name, but would never admit it. Who does he think he is? Breaking into my flat and then seating himself casually on my couch, rubbing his damned Dark Mark!

She saw him rise from the couch and noticed that neither his dark eyes nor his figure had changed. Perhaps his face had become a bit more worn. But, in that moment she couldn't care less. She saw his sleeve slide down to cover his Dark Mark and she had to grit her teeth in order to control her temper.

"Damn you, Severus Snape!" she spat.

He didn't move for several seconds and she doubted for a moment if this was real, or if it was merely a dream, but then the infamous eyebrow lifted itself. Typical. He's always the one who waits to see what others do before taking action. Coward!

"What? Are you just going to stand there like a giant greasy bat?" She knew it was childish, but Snape always had a way of bringing out the worst in her. Perhaps it was because he was so damned childish himself.

A glaring competition was taking place between the dark wizard and the girl, with neither of them wanting to be the first to back down.

"I was about to say something when someone prevented me from doing so!" he snarled, and she remembered that dangerous tone in his voice.

Snape stood with his back to the window. To her, he resembled a dark demon superimposed against a pristine backdrop of early morning light. Why is he the only one who can bring your temper to a boil? She made a face and looked about her living room. If he's touched anything, I'll kill him!

"Lena..." she heard a soft voice say, and was surprised how quickly his tone had shifted.

How dare he play with my feelings! She remembered a time when her body had reacted to that soft voice. She shot him a hateful look as punishment for the way his voice was affecting her body.

"How dare you to... to ... call me ...you...you!" Lena stammered, but realized she was at a loss for words.

Severus closed his eyes to consider what he had done. The past is the past, so why am I trying to revive it? I addressed her by my pet name for her, for Merlin's sake!

She had been very surprised to see him and he had to hold back a victorious smirk. But his gloating was short-lived as the pain in his throat reminded him of what she had done. He rubbed the area and felt the need to drink water.

He regarded her sitting on the floor and wanted to say something to calm her, but then again, her warm greeting made him change his mind. "Thank you for trying to kill me," or, "So, do you extend this unique form of hospitality to all your guests?" No, the last one was unthinkable as this was no occasion for drollery. He had been surprised to hear how much hatred her voice held when she had spoken to him. But why are you so astonished? She hates you and you know the reason. You turned away when she needed you most. Why was it that Snape's past always came back to haunt him and bite him on the arse?

He had to try! He had to make this easier for her, somehow. Snape steeled himself for a scathing comment from her, and cursed Dumbledore for sending him to find her.

Lena studied Snape while she fought an inner battle. Perhaps she'd overreacted when he he'd called by her by that name, but still, when he used her nickname it brought back memories which she had tried to forget.

"So," she began, and then started as his head whipped around to regard her. "The great Potions master was, for once in his life, on the receiving end! Perhaps you're getting too old for this!"

Snape exhaled a deep breath before answering. "What a lovely reception you've given me. Is this how you greet all your friends?" he returned, ignoring her remark.

"What do you think? Prowlers in black hoods who break into my flat at, Merlin knows what hour of the morning, should expect this treatment, and, I might add, you are far from a 'friend'!" she informed him.

Severus curled his lip into a snarl, but stopped when even that small facial movement caused his throat to ache. Instead, he settled for glowering at her. She hasn't changed in the slightest - just as obstinate as I remember!

He could feel the morning sun on his back streaming in from the window behind him. And, as Lena sat there bathed in the sunlight, she looked like a divine, yet terrifying creature with her dark hair and the anger flashing in her eyes. But even so, Snape wanted desperately to take her in his arms. I should never have let her go!

How long had it been since the last time they'd stood face to face? Too many years, that was certain. Precious years had been lost while she struggled to make a new life; he'd spent those same years hiding and licking his wounds within the safety of Hogwarts' walls.

Snape could see the pain in her eyes - the same pain which had been written on her face the day she'd left. Lena was able to hide it from most people, but not from him. He had always been able to read her like an open book.

She had never asked for assistance, much like him, but the day she left, he saw it in her eyes - the silent prayer for help. There was no greater sign of a person in need of support, but still he had turned and walked away. Her tears had been like awls on his skin and every single one had left a scar to remind him of what he had not done.

That was the reason why she thought she'd meant nothing to him and what had happened between them years ago had been nothing more than a cruel joke.

I always strive for the unobtainable, Snape lamented to himself. Their eyes locked again, and this time, he knew he had to say something. "Surely you must be interested to know why I am here."

"No, not really."

Damn! Her stubbornness it's almost as irritating as mine! "I would think this would interest you," he said, struggling to keep his voice even.

Typical Snape! He always assumes that whatever comes out of his mouth is worth listening to! Still the same impatient, stubborn, ill-tempered, sarcastic, snarling, childish man I once knew. Even though she could come up with at least a dozen more negative adjectives to describe the wizard, she hesitated.

She broke his gaze and focused on his hand as he rubbed his throat. She remembered suddenly how his hands felt on her skin and berated herself, wondering, all the while, how it would feel to be in his arms again. I wonder if the Snape I once knew is in there somewhere. She had to admit the man had a serious attitude problem. Lena shut her eyes angrily and pressed her lips together. This is not the time to think about this! It was nothing but a dream. He never really cared for me - I knew that when I left. Stop dwelling on the impossible!

All right, so Plan A is not working for you, is it Lena? Go to Plan B. Hate the Potions master. That should be very easy to do, by now. Love makes one blind! Perhaps he is nothing more than an empty shell consumed by the darkness he's lived in for so long and incapable of change.

Lena had left Hogwarts hoping to escape from her pain. After Death Eaters murdered her parents, she felt she had nothing to live for. She knew that Snape couldn't do anything, but she needed to pin the blame on someone. The fact that afterward, he hadn't tried to prevent her from leaving did not lessen her disappointment in him.

Lena had tried to commit suicide, but Dumbledore had stopped her. Then, once the headmaster was certain that she would not attempt to take her own life again, he had allowed her to leave the castle. She thought that leaving Hogwarts would lessen her torment, but instead, the ghosts she had tried to escape followed her. It had been much harder to be alone, and knowing that the man she loved had never loved her made it seem all the more hopeless.

But you did survive - you proved that you don't need anybody anymore - you can take care of yourself.

One of the ghosts from her past was standing right in front of her with his black eyes boring into her. So why was Severus Snape, of all people, in her flat - the man she loved and hated at the same time?

"What?" she asked impatiently, disconcerted that he was still staring at her.

"I think it's time to leave."

"I don't recall encouraging you to remain," Lena answered back.

"What I meant to say was--"

"Or perhaps you would like to stay for a cup of tea - but then, perhaps not. I'm sure the big, bad Potions master has more important matters to attend to, isn't that right?"

Snape's temper began to resurface, requiring him to use every fibre of his being to regain the control he valued so highly. He moved a step to his left and towered above her as she continued to sit on the floor.

"I meant us, Miss Patrick," he clarified icily.

"Get out!" she yelled.

He raised an eyebrow and looked at her with as much indifference as he could manage. Lena rose to see him to the door, but Snape held his ground, and folded his arms as if to protect himself.

"I said, GET OUT!" she pointed a finger toward to door.

He took one step toward her and realized, too late, how close to her he was standing. "I assume--"

"I couldn't care less! Just get out of my bloody flat!"

Severus had to bite back a smile - he didn't know why, but upsetting Lena was, at times, quite entertaining.

He is much too close! Lena could smell the herbs which scented his clothes. Too close! Every alarm in her body was sounding.

"It really doesn't suit you to--"

"What suits me is none of your concern!" You never really loved me! That's why you let me go!

"Oh, I beg to differ," Snape told. I let you go because I loved you!

Lena gave him a puzzled look and Severus knew that he had said too much. Brilliant! You've bungled it. You've made a fool of yourself!

What did he just say to me? That...what kind of game is he playing? Toying with my feelings - bastard! He is still too close!

"Suppose we stop this childish game which you so obviously enjoy," Lena whispered softly, trying to concentrate on anything other than the man in front of her.

Severus opened his mouth to reply but no words came out. Instead, a new wave of fire found its way to his throat.

"Just forget it," she said, defeated, taking a step back.

Lena headed toward her bedroom while Severus did some quick thinking. He had promised that he would return her to Hogwarts. "Excuse me, but where do you think you are going?"

Lena glared at him over her shoulder but kept walking toward her bedroom.

"You did not answer my question."

Lena turned around and made a face. Merlin, she is so childish! Severus took three long strides and was now standing blocking the entrance to her bedroom. Lena tried to step around him but with one quick movement he had her pinned against the wall. He took her two small hands in one of his own, and held them locked over her head, while pointing his wand in her face.

He leaned forward and was inches from her face. "Too close too close!" his body screamed, but when he saw the effect his nearness was having on Lena, he remained.

"I don't think you heard wha-" was all he managed to say before he felt something burn in his crotch.

He closed his eyes hard and felt his lungs being emptied of air as her knee left his groin. He gasped and groaned and let go of her hands. He began shaking and could feel his crotch throbbing with pain. That's the Lena I know! I can now, with 100% accuracy, say that she hasn't changed a bit. Her temper was straightforward and she had just provided him with proof.

Come on, get a grip draw yourself up! Severus groaned again but straightened himself as his legs began to shake.

"Did it hurt?" she inquired coldly.

Snape gave her his fiercest glare that he usually reserved for Potter. Lena was about to move around him to enter her bedroom when he slammed an arm in front of her and blocked her way.

"If you EVER do that again, I shall blast you into the next century with no remorse!" he hissed.

"I--"

"I'll be sure to pay you back...some day," he snarled.

Lena heard him groan again. Perhaps I overreacted. She looked down at her feet, like a schoolgirl in trouble, and was about to apologize when she heard his cold voice.

"And now, I'm going to tell you why I'm here," Snape decided, still in obvious pain. "Believe me when I say that I was not the one to suggest bringing you back. But certain people think it necessary."

"Get out of my way!" Lena insisted, doing her best to elbow past him.

They locked eyes. Minutes crept by, while each waited for the other to speak. But, why are you starting to feel sorry for him? He was the one who broke into your flat, sat on your couch and rubbed that ugly Mark. He was the one who could have convinced you to stay the day you left, but he did nothing! He was the one who made you believe he was in love with you, but did he ever say the words? No! He deserves this treatment!

Severus found he was unable to do little else but stare at Lena. It still felt as though a hedgehog had nested in his crotch. Still, standing with his hand on the wall in front of him blocking Lena from entering her bedroom, he realized that she was everything he could ever wish for, which meant that he only hated himself more. Why did I let her go? he asked himself. Because I loved her! Because I knew she deserved someone who could protect her. I failed! I stood by while her parents were murdered and allowed her to witness it!

Severus avoided Lena's gaze and wondered why he always wanted the things he could never obtain. She obviously hates you, Snape!

"Please, will you leave now?"

Lena's voice cut through him like a knife, yet he noted a hint of sadness in her voice.
She will hate me even more, but there is no other way.

"Petrificus Totalus," he whispered, and Lena fell to the floor. I'm sorry.