Twilight

I was stained with a role,

In a day, not my own...

For as long as I can remember there have always been dark objects around the house. Dark objects that, even as a small child, I knew were dangerous and who's purpose was, alone, to kill. I just assumed it was normal, all the other children that came round never commented on anything, never said it was unusual. But then, I suppose it was the same for them. I guess I didn't have to get used to it, just as they didn't. All I had to get used to, was the idea that it was wrong. That was easy, simply because it's not wrong.

At least not to me.

It's very much right...

I'm a pureblood, therefore, better than Mudbloods. Simple as that. Besides, it was them that started polluting us, and again them that decided they didn't like our power. It's survival, that's all, and I'm on the winning side. That's how it's always been for me...

At least not until him. Until Potter. Harry-bloody-perfect-Potter. Suddenly a half-blood crops up that's, not only more powerful than Voldemort himself, the leader, ruler of our crusade, who lead so many purebloods, gained their respect, lead them, killed them, ruled them. But Potter had such power as a baby! A baby for Christ's sake! Who can compete with that?!

Me, that's who. Potter and I go way back. Back past when I was a child. For as long as I can remember I've been in competition with him. He was in books; I wanted to be in books. He had that scar that I used to think was cool, his claim for fame. I wanted a scar... well maybe not a scar, and certainly not on my face but a reason for fame. I wanted him, to be him. To have the fame, the fans, for everyone to know my name. Which I guess, they do. But that wasn't it. I wanted... something... something I realised I couldn't have. And, when I realised this, I decided his friendship would suffice. Of course, when I say friendship, I don't mean friendship... more of a bargaining than anything. All that 'I'm your friend therefore I'll do anything for you' Potter and Co. crap was certainly not what I wanted. No definitely not. What I wanted was to compete with him, get one over on him, have a sort of power over him. But when he rejected me, me and my generous offer of friendship, in front of the Weasel, well, I wanted him to regret that decision. Oh yes. I wanted him to wish and beg and need my friendship.

I wanted that decision to haunt him.

So I decided to show him how good I was, what a worthy competitor I am. How great I was at flying, potions, just my general greatness. Every time Snape would reward me, I would look at Potter, to see if he'd noticed. I wanted to see that he was regretting, but he would glare at me, so I'd glare back, angry that he could still reject me, and still not regret it. One time I realised the glare was etched on my face even before my eyes met his. That bothered me at first, after all, I still wanted him to need me but it soon became second nature to me. And rapidly I forgot about seeing if he'd noticed how great I was, but became fixated on making him notice me, anyway I could. I would make digs at Granger, call her Mudblood, comment on the Weasel's profound lack of money, and deliberately mess up their work in anyway I could. I would hex him, and throw opposing ingredients into his potion. Just for him to look at me. I would aggravate that stupid giant's pets, and trip him up in the corridor. Hell, I would even resort to such distaste as to use Potter's parents against him. Just to see that fire in his eyes. That one would always work.

My last resort.

That never came first. I was never lazy like that. Not with Potter. After all, I still wanted to compete with him. So I couldn't, wouldn't be lazy.

I am never lazy, I am a Malfoy. Malfoy's are always tidy, as crisp and clean as the expensive parchment I write on. Malfoy... I see how that name scares, chills people to the bones at a mere whisper of it. I sometimes wonder if any witches or wizards have used that name, my name, to scare their children. Ha! Could you imagine that?! 'Watch out children or the Malfoys will get you' ...

I know it's only their fear that makes them mine. I know that people are only my friends because of my name. I doubt they particularly like me, just do what their daddies tell them, and put up with me.

'Fear is power' Father says when I ask him why people are so scared of us. I guess that figures. I can see why they're scared. He's powerful. Even I get scared, and he's my Father, and that's usually for something trivial, although you wouldn't know it...

I heard somewhere that all the worlds a stage, and we are merely players. If that is so, then what's my part? Where do I come in? Am I the evil villain? Or the coward? Or even the hero? No. I think I'll leave that to Potter and his sickly sweet sidekick friends. I could probably play both the coward and the villain, in different circumstances...

The question I ask that irks me the most about that saying is; 'Who wrote the damn play?' I mean, I don't believe in God having some sort of fate planned out for us, or anything like that. So... who is in control of us? In control of me? I'd like to think that I'm in control of my life, and I am, most of the time.

Maybe I only write the scenes that take place in Hogwarts...