I Just Want

I Just Want.

I just want to be normal. Normal as the other kids playing in the schoolyard and not being chased away every time Dudley's gang feel the urge to go "Harry Hunting".

I just want them to stop whispering and pointing as I sit in my desolate corner of the schoolyard trying my best to be one with the cold stone wall behind me.

I just want to have proper clothing. The faded jeans are so baggy they have to be held up by a waist band and even then I have to constantly pull them up feeling a bit more stupid every time.

I just want them to stop blaming me for everything that happens. I don't know why the teachers' hair suddenly turned green in the middle of class, it is not my fault.

I just want to go home after school without having to sulk behind Dudley and his chums knowing what awaits me when I get home and shows the note crumbled in my hand.

I just want to be shut in the broom closet as I have been on so many countless occasions before. I don't want this but what choice do I have when he so easily overpowers me, dragging me out into the newly built shed in the backyard.

I just want them all to hear me as I start screaming, but I know that it is to no avail as the walls are soundproof and a hand slaps me into silence.

I just want the hands on my body to get off of me. My clothing falls in a heap at my feet, as if it never was on my body at all, and a hand shoves me forward.

I just want this to stop. The pain is tearing me apart. It seems as if I can't breathe, the air simply seems to have gone. Fingers are digging into my flesh and are sure to leave ugly purple-blue bruises standing out on my pale skin lasting for days. I feel hot breath ghosting over my skin and shivers.

I just want to scream but air is denied access into my lounges. It seems as if it stings in my lungs. Tears are rolling down my chins by now; I shut my eyes tightly and try to pretend this isn't happening to me at all and imagine that I'm shut in the dark cupboard under the stairs.

I just want this to stop, I just want this to stop, I chant in my head over and over again, stop please, please stop. I feel the grip on my thighs increase and I know this will soon be over.

"Listen carefully to me now, boy." I hear a harsh, but aroused voice saying, his breath hot against my ear as he speaks. "I wont stand for your lies, we do not like filthy liars." And with that the weight on me eases and I lay motionless on the floor, my eyes dry.