As We Were

A/N: Special thanks to Christina for betaing.

As We Were

March 2000

No, no, no, no, no.

This couldn't be happening. Not his Harry.

Not after they had finally found Voldemort and Harry had defeated him once and for all. Not now that the war would be over soon. Just not now. Not ever.

He cradled Harry's head in his hands. Not wanting to believe the undeniable fact that those beautiful green eyes were lifeless. The skin so extremely pale. He felt someone trying to pull him away. He heard voices, screams, but none of it mattered. Not after this.

No, no, no, no, no.

Not his Harry, not his Harry. His Harry. Harryharryharry......

He shook the body. "Wake up Potter! This isn't funny anymore."

Angry now. "Wake up, you bastard!"

Hopeless. "You can't leave me. You promised you wouldn't."

Draco collapsed on top of the body, slowly feeling the warmth leaving, taking all that was once Harry with it.

February 2000

Draco awoke feeling slightly uneasy. Before he even opened his eyes; he knew he was alone in bed. Slowly opening his eyes and blinking in the bright light that suddenly flooded his vision, he saw a shadow standing before the window.

He hadn't even said anything when Harry spoke.

"I'm worried, Draco."

Draco almost wanted to say something scathing like, "We all are, Potter. Get a grip."

He wasn't really a morning person and he definitely was not in the mood for one of those conversations now, but he knew he should take it seriously when Harry was like this, so he kept silent. He left the nice warm bed and walked across the room they shared to stand beside Harry, looking at the scenery outside the window. Of course, the view wasn't real. He saw fields and trees and it all gave him a false sense of security which he knew would be over soon.

"I think it will happen soon," Harry said quietly.

He didn't even need to ask what Harry meant. It was what everyone was waiting for. The final showdown between Harry Potter and the Dark Lord. Of course, he shouldn't call him that anymore, but old habits die hard.

He reached out and clasped one of Harry's hands with his own, giving it a light squeeze. He turned his gaze from the window and looked into worried green eyes. He tried to give Harry a reassuring smile.

"It'll come when it does, and we'll handle it when it happens."

For Harry's sake, he pretended he wasn't absolutely terrified. He knew that all he offered were platitudes, but he honestly couldn't find anything else to say. He stepped closer to Harry, put his arms around him and just held him, pretending, for the moment, that they weren't at war and that the peaceful view out the window was real.

December 1999

Of course, everyone had known for months that the war was serious business, but when they had to go into hiding, suddenly everyone realised the magnitude of the situation. They had set up a sort of apartment complex underground. The apartment complex was as small as possible, for the risk of discovery was not an option. Hence, everyone had only one room with a bathroom.

It was still pretty luxurious, as this was still the Wizarding world, but of course, it was like a luxurious prison. You could only get in and out by filling out a lot of forms, the checking and re-checking of your wand and tons of other security measures.

When Draco first saw it; he was still quite impressed by the amount of people there. They had managed to hide quite a few people. Harry was, of course, one of the first to be moved in there. They knew he had to fight eventually, but they wanted him safe for the time being. Draco had absolutely no problem with that last part.

Harry had managed to raise quite a few eyebrows when he had demanded to share his rooms with Draco. Their relationship was common knowledge by now, but people sometimes still looked at Draco suspiciously when Harry wasn't looking. If it hadn't been for Harry, Draco would have probably just left the country, but he was with Harry now and he would just have to bear everything that came with that. Being the Chosen One and all, as the papers still insisted on calling him, Harry had, of course, gotten his way in the end. Draco remembered how this used to annoy him. Now he was just glad about it.

Once they were at their new home, hopefully only for a little while, Draco took notice of Harry's unhappiness. Stupid git probably thought he was to blame for all of this. As if he didn't already have enough weight on his shoulders.

He turned Harry towards him, took his face between his hands and kissed him.

Kissing Harry wasn't anything like it had been at the beginning of their relationship. The passion hadn't diminished, but it had changed. It had become more intimate and more relaxed somehow. It didn't always have to lead to sex anymore, though no one was complaining if it did. They were still very young, after all.

Draco knew that this time it would indeed lead to more. He could sense the need in Harry for distraction, for something to make him happy even if it wouldn't last. Draco, already losing himself to Harry, was happy to offer himself.

It wasn't hurried. Harry was gentle and obviously tried to make it last as long as possible, but when he couldn't hold on any longer, he clung to Draco as he cried out his release. Draco had been lost long before.

Gasping, Harry softly said, "I love you."

Draco hugged Harry tighter. It was the first time he had said it, but Draco had long known it as a fact. Harry just wasn't very good at hiding things like that. That particular thought made Draco grin, but when he answered Harry; he was completely serious again.

"Then promise me you won't ever leave." He knew Harry heard the implied 'I love you too' in his voice, which was filled with as much seriousness and honesty he could muster, and he knew he couldn't ask for this. He knew Harry didn't have a say in it, but when Harry looked him straight in the eyes and told him, "I promise you I won't ever leave," he almost believed him.

October 1999

"Oh, Harry look at that weird box thing! Why would anyone buy anything that ugly? The shop's full of them."

Harry was laughing. Draco was just hoping he wasn't laughing at him. "It's called a telly and actually, they're quite popular."

They were walking through the Muggle part of London, for it was a lot safer there. Draco felt lost though. He knew it was the only way they could go out. This way the chance of a Death Eater attack was considerably less. Or worse, journalists. Draco shuddered. He refocused on the tellees or whatever they were called. He just didn't get Muggles.

"Well, it just goes to prove that Muggles really are insane."

"Are they? Wouldn't you like to just sit on your couch and watch the latest Quidditch match in the comfort of your own living room?"

This put a damper on their mood. "Well, considering all Quidditch matches have been cancelled for the unforeseeable future, it doesn't really matter now, does it?" Draco asked sadly.

He just wanted to go home, no longer interested in the weird Muggle stuff.

September 1999

They were at Granger's birthday party. She was celebrating at the Weasley's and it was pretty crowded. Of course, everyone jumped at the chance of celebrating something.

Draco still felt uncomfortable with this crowd. He knew they had only accepted him for Harry's sake and even if he managed to be friendly with some of them; he still felt out of place. These were Harry's friends and family. He had no place here.

Most of the Weasley's were listening intently to the Quidditch match on the Wizarding Wireless. Draco didn't even know which teams were playing each other. He hadn't really paid attention to Quidditch anymore since sixth year.

He was reminded of cabinets, the threats to his parents. He had tried to help them. Now they were dead and all he had left was Harry. Harry who was warm and sitting right next to him. He moved slightly closer to him and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. Harry grinned at him before resuming his conversation with the birthday girl. He was surprised to see her looking straight at him and smiling slightly. He smiled back.

Suddenly he didn't feel so out of place anymore.

May 1999

"I did it! I finally did it!"

Draco looked up from the book he had been reading. "Did what exactly, Potter?"

What met his eyes shocked him to the core. There were burns on Harry's arms and his scar was bleeding somewhat.

"What the hell happened?" He hated the fact that the concern was clearly evident in his voice.

Harry suddenly looked stricken, like he had said something he shouldn't have. And indeed, his next words were, "I'm sorry, I can't tell you. I promised I wouldn't, but it's good. Oh, Draco, it's so good. It means we finally have a real chance at winning this war."

Draco was confused as hell when Harry hugged him tightly and kissed him passionately. He knew that he wouldn't get anymore information out of Harry, no matter how much he tried. He sighed inwardly, but he let himself be caught up in Harry's obvious excitement. Even just for a moment.

March 1999

"Shite, bugger, fuck!"

Draco agreed with that statement wholeheartedly. He was looking at the Daily Prophet and there they were. One huge picture of Harry and Draco on the front page. If it had been of them kissing, Draco could have lived with it, or even shagging, but this? This was not good for his reputation. He didn't think about the fact that there was nothing left of his reputation anyway.

They were hugging in the picture, just hugging, but they didn't kid themselves one bit that anyone could see it as platonic. They were wrapped tightly around each other, Draco's face buried in Harry's neck, Harry stroking his hair soothingly.

It had been just after he had found out his father was dead. Killed in his cell in Azkaban. He had found out about Draco's mission from the Dark Lord himself, almost two years after the fact. He had been furious. No one threatened his son, not even the most terrifying wizard who had ever lived. Word had got out to the Death Eaters and suddenly Draco didn't have a father anymore. His mother had been killed earlier for her betrayal. Now he was an orphan too.

He knew his father had been far from perfect, but he couldn't help being proud. His father had really loved him and had died for it. Kind of like Harry's mother, but not. He grinned at the thought of Harry finding out that he was comparing his father to Harry's mother. No, he would keep this thought to himself.

"What are you grinning about?" Harry sounded irritated.

Draco sobered and looked at Harry. "Oh, nothing."

He indicated to the paper. "Guess we're out now, then."

November 1998

"Draco?"

"Yes?"

"I want to tell my friends we're together."

"They figured that out months ago, Harry."

"What?!"

Draco gave up on sleeping all together and turned around to face Harry. He looked shocked and a bit relieved.

"You can't hide this stuff, Potter. You're hopeless when it comes to stealth in these things. Besides, hard as I find it to believe, you're friends aren't stupid. We're together all the time, I'm at your apartment all the time, it's all very obvious."

He earned a smack from a pillow for that little remark.

"But then why haven't they said anything?"

"Probably because they decided I'm not an evil bastard and you deserve to be happy. Can we go back to sleep now? We had quite the session, if you'd remember."

He thought it was cute. Harry could be so forceful when they were actually having sex and yet be so sweet as to blush when he just mentioned it.

It was less cute when Harry smacked him with the pillow again.

"On second thought, they're convinced I'm still evil and hope I kill you in your sleep," he grumbled.

Harry actually laughed at this and lay back down. Draco, being quite tired, turned his back to Harry, snuggled close to his chest and promptly fell back to sleep.

July 1998

"I told Ginny we wouldn't ever get back together."

"How did she take it?"

"Better than I thought she would. She only slapped me once."

Draco burst out laughing and Harry looked indignant.

Draco gasped out, "I'm sorry, it's just...." He couldn't finish the sentence. Laughter was taking over his whole being.

Eventually Harry saw the fun in it too and joined in the laughter.

When they were finally done, Harry turned serious. He looked at Draco with his eyes screaming intensity.

"I didn't like hurting her. I still love her, just differently now."

Draco nodded, understanding, even if Harry didn't think he could. He suddenly really missed Pansy.

Harry continued. "She also reminded me of all the reasons I have to win this war, and I decided that I need to double my efforts in finding and destroying Voldemort."

Draco flinched a bit at the name, but stayed silent and nodded again. In his opinion, Harry was already doing everything he could, but he knew it would never be enough for Harry until the war was over.

"This means I'll be gone even more and you can't ask me what I'm doing."

"Why not?" Draco got curious now.

Harry didn't answer. He just shook his head, looked grave and whispered something to himself that sounded like, "Only two more to go. Where could they be?"

"You'll find them." He had no idea what he was saying to Harry, but Harry seemed to appreciate it anyway.

He walked closer to Draco and kissed him. Draco still felt tingles every time Harry kissed him or touched him and hoped they would never disappear. When they parted, he saw the time and said, "Happy Birthday, Harry," before kissing him.

March 1998

"Malfoy?!"

Draco was so weak with relief. He didn't even care if it was Potter who had found him. He looked up and saw Potter standing in the entrance to his little room in some shady Wizarding Inn. Potter was looking shocked. He knew he was filthy, and thin and looking a whole lot different from what he used to.

He still had some pride left and acknowledged him coolly.

"Potter."

Potter looked at him warily, yet with something akin to relief.

"I have been looking for you for ages. I'm here to offer you asylum. I'm here to offer you what Dumbledore offered. I know you're not a Death Eater. Come with me and I promise everything will be okay." Potter himself looked almost confused at the conviction with which he spoke these words.

Draco couldn't help it. He didn't even care how Potter knew about all that. He almost fell on Potter with relief. Potter was saving him. No more running. No more shady inns, no more lack of good food. He pulled back and tried to save some dignity, but Potter only grinned and said, "Let's go Malfoy. Things will be better from now on."

June 1998

It had taken them one month to actually get friendly with each other. Another before Harry had finally had the courage to kiss him and Draco had only now just seduced Harry into becoming lovers. They were lying next to each other, their hands lying together on the mattress between them. It was strangely uncomfortable and comfortable at the same time.

All in all he was pretty content. He didn't know if Potter and he would actually go anywhere, but if not at least it had been fun. Harry, he reminded himself. It was Harry now. He would have to get used to that.

He didn't know what the future would hold. Everything was uncertain with a war going on around them.

Harry turned his face towards him and Draco looked back at him. They grinned at each other.

And they were happy.