If Things Were Different

He couldn't remember where it all went wrong. Was it during Hogwarts? After Voldemort was destroyed? No, he couldn't quite place it.

All he knew was that when it did, his whole life shattered. Pansy married Marcus Flint. Blaise was somewhere in America making sure she wasn't found. His father was dead. Ginny found comfort with Harry Potter.

Draco Malfoy scowled at the fireplace as the thoughts ran through his head for the hundredth time that day. He took another swig of whiskey (muggle whiskey, mind you) trying with little effort to keep up his drunken stupor.

Ginny Weasley had been Mrs. Harry Potter well over a week now, and Draco had been smashed every day in celebration. Well, celebration of his own stupidity.

They had been in love once. Correction. He had been in love, he was just a fling for her. Something to pass the time. She wanted to see what it was life being with the bad boy, her brother's worst enemy.

But being with her, no matter what he circumstances, made him happy. She was beautiful. A bright shinning light in his otherwise dreary world.

He first took notice of her at the end of his fifth year, when she hexed the hell out of him. He couldn't believe the littlest Weasley had enough guts to do that. He was thoroughly impressed. So he made it his mission to learn everything about her the next year. And he did.

He watched her during meals and followed her when classes allowed. She wasn't quiet or shy, but quite obnoxious and loud. She always seemed so happy, it was disgusting.

She bounced through halls surrounded by her friends, laughing and talking.

He decided (since it was so repulsive) to go back to ignoring her after the Christmas Holidays. And he was doing a bang up job, too.

He was on his way to the kitchen for a midnight snack, when she came bounding up the stairs, knocking into him in the process. The arm full of food she was carrying fell to the ground.

Draco looked over at her as she began picking up the food. It infuriated him that picking up her snacks was more important than apologizing. "Didn't your parents teach you any manners, Weasley?"

She stood slowly and turned. Her blank stare met his cold one, and she calmly tugged at a piece of loose hair behind her ear. "Yes, they did. But I'd rather not waste them on the likes of you."

Draco turned his nose up at her, hardening his gray eyes. "You might want to watch who you upset, Weasel."

Her lip turned up in an amused smile. "I'm really scared, Malfoy. I think you should worry about who you upset. Don't you remember last year?"

With that she continued on her merry way as he clenched his fists trying to control himself. And then he remembered.

"I will be taking house points for being out after hours," he yelled after her.

She paused on the steps, but didn't turn around. "Sounds lovely."
And that's how it all began, Draco thought sourly. He took another long drink, willing himself to forget. But his mind and heart had other ideas.

She had kissed him first. She had kissed him the day after he decided to make her life a living hell. She was waiting for him while he was making his rounds.

It was a brush of lips, nothing more. He looked down at her, bewildered, and she laughed.

Then she stood on her toes and dragged his mouth to hers. Even to this day he couldn't describe what it was like to kiss Ginny Weasley.

Truth was, he couldn't think when her lips were on his. His heart pounded in his ears and his head was dizzy. And he couldn't get her close enough. No nearly enough skin. She slid her small hands through his blond hair, loosening it from its slicked back mold.

He couldn't seem to control himself. He attacked her mouth with a passionate build-up he didn't know he had. Her mouth met his with the same avid desire.

When they finally pulled apart, Draco had her pressed against the wall, limbs tangled together. He wondered why she kissed him and said it out loud.

A sly grin fell on her swollen lips as she played with his tie. "I wanted to see if you could put that mouth to better use than hexes and nasty comments," she answered simply.

She pulled him close and ran her mouth over his throat. He shuddered and knew it was over. How could he insult someone with a mouth like that?

She would meet him while he was on patrol. Sometimes they'd snog, other times they'd go back to his room and do something more productive.

That was his downfall, he realized now. A pretty girl with deep brown eyes, a gorgeous smile and an amazing mouth. He chalked it up to hormones back then, telling himself it could have been any girl. But now he knew better. It wasn't just her looks, it was the pride and confidence she had. It wasn't just the eyes, it was the emotion behind them. It wasn't just the mouth, it was the constant laughter that came from it. She was a bouncing ball of energy and joy that left him happy for days.

He knew it was wrong. He wasn't supposed to fall in love, much less with a Weasley. They both knew one day it would catch up with them and end. He didn't want it to be over. She opened up a part of him he never knew existed, that made him want to be a better person. And it did end, without anyone knowing it had even happened. He still didn't know what he'd done wrong.

No one could approach him for months when she left. He didn't want anyone to. He'd lost his only friends in the world. Blaise and Pansy left him alone because they couldn't bear to see him destroy his life anymore.

For eight long years he'd been alone. He didn't anyone. No friends. No girlfriends. Nothing. Just work to keep him occupied. All because of her.

He tossed the empty bottle in his hand at the mantle with as much force as he could muster. It smashed soundly against a picture frame. He pulled himself to his feet and stumbled over, lifting the undamaged picture.

Ginny Weasley smiled up at him while being held by his younger smirking self. She's somehow dragged him into one of those muggle contraptions, a picture booth or something like that. They had each gotten a pair, and he'd hid his from her so she wouldn't know how much it meant to him to have them.

He wanted to forget. He wanted to go back. He felt cold. He fell back onto the couch and closed his eyes.

~*~

He was warm. He wasn't under the covers, but he was warm. And tired. The best kind of tired. He couldn't remember the last time he'd felt this . . . good. His body was relaxed and it felt like air. But he wasn't drunk. He half hoped he'd died and gone to heaven.

And then something on his stomach moved. He opened his eyes warily. Something red to be exact.

The red was soon replaced by white. Smooth pale skin. And brown. Deep brown eyes.

Ginny Weasley smiled lazily at him and brushed back her tangle of red curls.

Draco couldn't help but gawk at her. He opened his mouth to speak, but found his vocal chords decided not to work.

Ginny slid her warm body over his slowly, determinedly, and he looked down. They were both naked. His eyes crossed as she rubbed her chest against his own seductively.

When was the last time we were together like this? Her hands ran smoothly over his chest in one fluid motion and sucked in a breath. He was dreaming. He had to be.

Her teeth nipped at his ear systematically and his eyes went wide. Dreams didn't bite.

"Can you believe it's been almost a year?" she asked breathlessly. He didn't answer as she worked her magic on his body. He laid back and enjoyed the familiarity of her soft hands rubbing his arms, then moved to his chest.

She closed her mouth over his in a long soul-searing kiss. He was drowning, but at least he'd die happy. It left him wanting more, needing more. .

When she made to move away, he cupped her head and dragged her back down. She moaned against his mouth as he angled the kiss, deepening it. Her hands fisted in his hair and he rolled with her so he was on top.

Yeah, it was definitely a good way to die.

~*~

He collapsed on top of her; his head nestled comfortably on her chest, listening to the loud thudding of her heart.

She stroked his hair soothingly, letting out a soft sigh. "Are you all right, Draco? You act as if we hadn't slept together in years. I'm not saying I mind, but . . ."

He shifted so he was on his back and she was sprawled over him. "You never now what's going to happen, Gin. I'm just enjoying what I can before it's over."

She lifted her head and frowned at him. "Who said it's going to end?"

He shrugged and closed his eyes. "Everything always comes to an end," he muttered quietly.

He couldn't see the hurt in her eyes but he felt it in himself, stemmed from his own heart.

She traced a finger across his ribcage. "Ron's been wondering why I get up so early every morning for school," she commented, trying to sound casual.

Something about her sentence seemed so familiar. He opened his eyes and looked at her. She was staring off into a distance.

"Why don't you just tell him you don't even sleep in your own bed anymore? That you're with me?"

That certainly got her attention. She gazed up at him through carefully hooded eyes. "Why would you want people to know you're shagging a Weasley?"

It hit him like a ton of bricks. It was the last conversation he'd had with Ginny. It's what had ended their relationship. Well, what there was of one. He'd told her "why would anyone care who I shag?" And he had watched as she stomped out, not quite understanding what he said wrong. Whenever he'd tried to reason with after that, she wouldn't speak to him, wouldn't even look at him.

Why did it matter if she didn't want anything more than sex?

But it did matter. He thought she was just using it as an excuse to end things. She cared more than she ever let on. It was written all over her face and in her eyes. He was just too stupid back then to notice. She wanted him to make the first move, wanted him to want it too. And he did. More than anything. He just didn't realize it at the time.

He sighed and took a deep breath. It was time to stop being the stupid prat that he had been. "Ginny, listen-"

Hurt shone in her eyes as she sat up abruptly. "Sorry. I keep forgetting the rules." She reached off the side of the bed and grabbed her shirt lying on the floor.

Draco eyed her warily, wondering if he should speak. "Ginny."

"Did you want to end things, Malfoy? Because if you did, I understand completely.

He sat up straight. "Gin, would you stop moving for two seconds?" he commented as he watched her bustle around the room collecting various clothing items.

"Ginny," he repeated, trying to keep his tone neutral.

"It was bound to happen, right?" she continued rambling as she tugged on her skirt. "Better now than somewhere down the line when one of us cared about the other."

He jumped off the bed and headed in her direction. She was gathering up the remaining clothes when he grabbed her arms.

"Ginny, I'm not trying to end things. I'm trying to tell you that I love you."

Her head snapped up. "What? You love me? Since when?" she demanded, shock in her voice.

He shrugged, a smile on his face. "I think since the first time you kissed me."

She smiled a little as tears glistened in her eyes. "Are you sure?"

He let out a choked laugh. "I don't use that word lightly, Gin."

"Good. Because I love you, too." With that she buried her face in his chest.

~*~

It was probably the worst hang over in history and he vowed never to drink again. And then there was that bothersome movement. He felt like he was on a boat.

"Are you planning on waking up, Malfoy? I hope I don't have to apparate you to St. Mungo's," a familiar voice said with great disdain.

He squinted his eyes open with pain. Bright lights greeted him and he squeezed them shut.

"Don't think I didn't see that." Cold hands ran along his face. "I know you're still alive."

"Go away," he croaked out. "Or at least shut up. You're hurting my head."

A blanket was tugged over him and the voice began muttering under its breath.

"And to think I stopped my wedding for the likes of you. What was I thinking? Bloody ungrateful bastard is what I'm stuck with . . ."

Wedding? Draco managed to open his eyes a little and watched as Ginny Potter shuffled around the room picking up empty bottles. His heart stopped.

She looked a bit older and her hair was a little shorter, but she still looked the same. And her big mouth hadn't changed in the slightest.

"Ginny?" he said out loud.

She stopped what she was doing and glanced over at him, an exasperated look on her face. "Who else would it be?" she snapped out. "No one else wants to see you, or." She wrinkled her nose. "Smell you."

She tossed the bottles into an empty carton. "Are you planning on opening your own brewery or just trying to off yourself?"

He blinked at her. "Aren't you supposed to be on your honeymoon?"

Ginny rolled her eyes dramatically. "You still don't listen, do you? I didn't get married. Harry and I called off the wedding. We weren't ready to settle down yet. At least not to each other."

"And in celebration you decided to come to my flat and clean it up?"

She strolled over to his bed. "No, you, twit, I wanted to see you. It's been a long time, Draco."

He sat up slowly; regarding her through carefully guarded gray eyes as she sat on his bed. "It's been a bit, Gin," he agreed.

They both stared at each other for a moment in silence.

"So what happened to Potter?" he asked finally.

Ginny threw back her head and laughed. His heart lurched at the sound. It had been too long since he had last heard it.

She stared him, biting her lip as she tried to keep her composure. "You have not changed one bit, Draco Malfoy. Always worrying about Harry Potter."

He was frowning at her. "I just wanted to make sure he wasn't going to try and sweep you off your feet sometime in the future."

Ginny smiled brightly at him. "I can assure you, he won't. He went looking for Blaise. To try and convince her to come back."

"It's pretty pointless. She doesn't want to be found."

She shrugged, signaling the end of that topic. "I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. You know, back when we were at Hogwarts. Do you ever wonder what would have happened if things turned out differently?"

He knew exactly what she was referring to. "That's a stupid question, Gin."

She looked down at her hands. "I know. I was just wondering." She paused, taking a deep breath. "You know I loved you."

Draco scooted closer to her on the bed. "I kind of guessed that. What about now?"

She turned her head towards him. "Well, I didn't marry Harry. What does that tell you?"

"That you didn't marry Harry." He touched a hand to her cheek.

"You know, it's not fair. The fact that I lov-"

"I love you," he told her, cutting her off. "I always have."

A single tear slid down her cheek as she met his gaze. "Do you have any idea how long I've been waiting to hear that?" she leaned over and gave him a quick kiss.

She pulled back and wrinkled her nose. "You smell like a pub."

He chuckled lightly and laid back on the bed, pulling her with him. "Does that really matter?"

Ginny pushed at him playfully as he rolled her onto her back, pining her to the bed. "Yes. Because I'm not kissing you until you take a shower."

His face creased in thought. "You know that's a good idea."

"Then go take one," she ordered as he nuzzled her neck.

"In a minute." His hands moved to her shirt and began unbuttoning it. "Does this mean I get another chance?"

"You'll have to convince me."

"I think I can manage that," he murmured as he covered her mouth with his.