- Rating:
- PG-13
- House:
- The Dark Arts
- Characters:
- Hermione Granger
- Genres:
- Angst Romance
- Era:
- Multiple Eras
- Stats:
-
Published: 07/23/2003Updated: 07/23/2003Words: 1,604Chapters: 1Hits: 460
One More Try
Sevi Snape
- Story Summary:
- Hermione can't cope anymore, she loves Severus but does she love him enough to carry on like this?
- Chapter Summary:
- Hermione can't cope anymoe, she loves Severus but does she love him enough to carry on like this?
- Posted:
- 07/23/2003
- Hits:
- 460
Usual disclaimer. Please read the lyrics they are the sole purpose of the fic and they are by George Michael and the song is "One More Try".
One More Try
Hermione fell back into the warm strong embrace she knew so well. Tears streamed down her face, knowing that this embrace wasn't to last forever. But it wasn't just the embrace she would miss about him. She would miss everything, his scent, his voice, those eyes and that air you could feel around him. But it was a lot more than physical things that she would miss. There were things that she knew no one would, could ever replace in her heart. Him.
I've had enough of danger
And people on the streets
I'm looking out for angels
Just trying to find some peace
"Severus I can't anymore. Just can't. I'm fed up of living in danger and fear. Not knowing who is trying to kill us or my friends, whether people in the street are out to get me or out to save me. I signed up to love you for ever, not to live in fear for both of us." Hermione sobbed in his arms. "I need some space, some peace, and some goddamn safety."
"Hermione you'll always have had safety. What do you call this? No matter how hard it's ever gotten haven't I been here to catch you?" Severus pleaded hugging her close.
He couldn't let her go. Not her, she was too special, the one that helped him learn to love again, the one who helped him trust. An unlikely match it was true, never personalities that were more opposite. Yet they complimented each other like nothing else.
Now I think it's time
That you let me know
So if you love me
Say you love me
But if you don't
Just let me go...
"Severus just tell me, once and for all I need to know, do you love me?" Hermione asked releasing herself and looking into those deep dark pools, her own eyes red and blurry. "Severus tell me you love and I'll stay, tell me you do, and tell I'm all you want and I'll forget every danger and I'll stay."
He looked at her. Her tear streamed cheeks, her mussed unruly hair, those dimples in her cheeks. He could feel her body, not perfect, not huge breasts and size 8 waist. She was plump, not fat but not skinny. She had her fair share of chubbiness and he thought more of her for it. But he had never told her he loved her. It was everyday implied but never stated. He loved her, but did he truly love her? Did he love her enough to release her from this hell she was living, or did he love her too much and wanted to keep her with him forever?
'Cos teacher
There are things
That I don't want to learn
"Severus I don't want to learn any more pain, you've taught me so much of it. I can't stand anymore. I don't want to see you die, or come home to find your not in your usually place, and know you never will be again. I don't want to have this baby and not let it be a normal child because of your work. I don't want to have to learn to do that." Hermione pleaded.
Severus still watched her, unable to speak, still trying to test his feelings.
And the last one I had
Made me cry
"Severus please understand, the last time I had this, it was with Harry. I couldn't cope any more the worry and panic every time he was alone away somewhere I cried. He taught me pain, not knowing were he was. Don't put me through it again!" Hermione begged fresh tears bursting forth and falling into the dark folds of her robes and creating damp patches.
I don't want to learn to
Hold you, touch you
Think that you're mine
"Hermione I don't know what I want," Severus said slowly. "I don't want to hurt you but I don't want to lose you. And I'm afraid I can't have both. If I can't have you without hurting you I don't want to. I don't want to learn your every whim and movement, every curve and line of you. I don't want to learn how it feels to hold you every night and know your mine, if that is going to make you unhappy. If that's how you feel I don't want you to love me."
Because it ain't no joy
For an uptown boy
Whose teacher has told him goodbye,
Goodbye, goodbye
"I don't want to give you every hope, knowing its going to tear up inside every time I'm away. And I don't want to preach undying love and lay my heart bare if later your going to turn round and say goodbye anyway," Severus said fighting the tears forming in his own eyes, and struggling with the internal battle of declaring undying love and never letting her go.
When you were just a stranger
And I was at your feet
I didn't feel the danger
"Before I knew you, the real you. I had nothing to fear, I was in school and I knew even Harry was safe. I worshipped your strength but never knew its full power. Now I do and it scares me. It scares me that you have to be strong for both of us," Hermione said stroking the small bump on her abdomen. "And soon for the three of us."
Now I feel the heat
That look in your eyes
Telling me no
Hermione allowed his hand to caress the bump that was soon to be a real person, a part of him. She looked into his eyes, hoping to see some kind of answer. All she saw was the answer no, but no to what she didn't know. She was scared he was going to say no to her. He was going to push her away and part of her wanted it but then she thought of her own feelings and that scared her more.
So you think that you love me
Know that you need me
I wrote the song, I know it's wrong
Just let me go...
"Hermione I can't live without you, or this child, why do you think I'm so strong? I have something to be strong for. Without either of you its just me, not a lot to live for," Severus said sadly.
"Do you really need me? Do you know this? Or do you just think you do?" Hermione asked wanting to know his exact feelings before deciding on what to do.
So when you say that you need me
That you'll never leave me
I know you're wrong, you're that strong
Let me go
"You were strong long before you met me, and you're going to be just as strong after me. You're wrong Severus; you've not been living for anyone but yourself and you know it," Hermione said watching Severus for a reaction.
"You want me to let you go? Is that what you want? You seem have decided what you're going to do already," Severus said almost resignedly.
And teacher
There are things
That I still have to learn
"no Severus I want to know if you want me before I decide. I want to know whether you love me enough. Because I'll walk out the door, and learn love and life from someone else," Hermione said drying her eyes on her robes.
She held her head up high, trying to prove this wasn't the be all and end all of her life, even if that wasn't the truth.
But the one thing I have is my pride
Oh so I don't want to
Hold you, touch you
Think that you're mine
Severus saw her defiant air, knew she wanted to get through this with her pride in tack. Just like a true Gryffindor. But then his Slytherin pride wouldn't let him give in either.
"Severus I don't want to learn to live with danger any more. I want to be able to hold you and kiss you knowing you'll be right there again the next day. I don't want to have to think that your mine, I want to know."
Because there ain't no joy
For an uptown boy
Who just isn't willing to try?
I'm so cold
Inside
"If you're willing to try, Severus.If you say you love me, give me all the security you can, prove you love me. I'll stay without that though, I have nothing to stay for, no matter what my feeling are," Hermione said refusing to admit the tears forming in her eyes again.
Goosebumps raised on her skin at the prospect of life without him. The thought of being alone. It froze from the inside out and made her shiver.
"Hermione..." Severus began taking her hand and holding it tight. "I want to try, I do. I want to give you everything."
"Really? Honestly can you say that?" Hermione asked looking into his eyes.
"Honestly." Severus said, "And I don't only want to try I want to do it."
Hermione felt his hand on hers, warm and safe. He slid something on her finger.
"Hermione I love you." Severus stated, lifting her hand to show her the ring he had placed on her finger. "I love you enough to be stronger for all of us."
Right then Hermione knew she couldn't leave. Her heart leapt. Perhaps she could give him...........
Maybe just one more try