My Immortal

What had made him think of it in the first place? It wasn't as if he

hadn't forgotten anything....that's what had made it so odd to begin with.

A normal day, just another normal day...but it was so hard to distinguish

what had made the days separate and become unlike all the previous ones

that he was having trouble looking at himself in the mirror without

wincing. How had he become like this? How had his life all seemed to

dissolve like fog in sunshine?

Her face...the look on her face when he had told her...the way her

eyelashes seemed to cover her true feelings...the way her hands had not once

seemed to stop moving when the words that he had held inside for so long

flowed out of him like blood from a fresh wound. Like the ones he had

made every day after that when she had looked him straight in the eye and

said very simply "I do not feel the same," gathered her schoolbooks and

walked out of the library and out of his life.

His soul burned with the reflection of her dismissal.

His lip curled...she had been taken care of in a timely manner. She had

escaped nothing.

But neither had he. The threat that always lingered too closely behind

his eyes was threatening his glacial demeanor. This was weak, this was

ridiculous.

There had been the day that a few others had pushed him downstairs when he refused to acknowledge one of the more popular students...so they had pushed him down four flights of stairs with no remorse. Other than a few broken ribs, toes, and a fractured hand he was no worse for the wear. The bell had rung, everyone had scattered. All but one...she had come up to him and helped him up the stairs and to the hospital wing rather than watch him struggle. She had not laughed, she had not just simply watched and walked away. Everyone was just walking away, but she had not. She had spoken kind words to him on the way to the hospital wing. And he fell madly head over heels for her; started thinking about her all the time. She haunted his dreams...and his waking hours. He loved her absolutely.

Love. It had meant nothing to him until he had met her, spoken to her;

let his eyes wander the strands of her hair and the color of her skin;

the aura that had surrounded her. The fool that had captivated her--the

fool that was not him.

He laughed silently to him. The first card of the major arcana...the one

that hadn't even warranted the number 1. Zero--the Fool.

Who was the fool now? He wondered.

Though all the world will know you

Every single love you had

Will cover their heads in shame

Speak of the lies as though they are truths

Discovery not be your only excuse

The flowers that bear your name

Slowly die as you grow sad

The world you love will fall away

Your only son will remain to stay

Speak of it now before it's too late

Love me only if not in hate

I tend your name like flowers

Though all the world will only know you

As a shadow, a ghost, a shade...

Foolish, stupid....the only words now that satiated him whenever he

thought of his failed attempts. It grows, you know...hate...it keeps and stays.

Just like her name....just like her name.

He swallowed the same poison he had been drinking for years now. There

was just no way around his addiction...

HE had known, but had never said anything. It's better that he didn't.

And in the end, nothing would have made much of a difference. Not

at all...

He contemplated the blade before him, laying almost innocently on the

table before him...as if it hadn't been a friend of his for so long now.

Just as well...and he walked out the door without hurting today...not on

the outside, anyway.

There are some wounds that time never saw fit to heal...