Cyclic Desperation of the Soul

A time when everything moves in circles; the cycles that rule our lives.

How the hell did we wind up like this?

Why weren't we able to see the signs that we missed?

And try to turn the tables
I wish you'd unclench your fists
And unpack your suitcase
Lately there's been too much of this
Don't think its too late...**

Dear Harry,

There have been times we've been sure that everything you've ever said and ever done has been right and has been wrong. We just never thought that you could just get up and leave, just walk away from all of this. We know how hard it is for you. We know that everything you do is the hardest thing you've ever done. We know that sometimes when you wake up you wish you were still asleep.

We know how long and lonely your life may seem sometimes. What we wish you'd remember is that we are still here. Your parents may not...Sirius may not, but we still are. We are always here, but now you are not.

Walking to this place has proven more difficult beyond words. This is the place where it all came together. Walking through these hallways has echoed more memories than we ever thought possible. Everything now is echoes, but we still heed them like they are reality. We remember know that everything we did was to help you, and for all the times that we did we know you are thankful.

We see the ghosts of ourselves running to get there... always to get somewhere and getting nowhere at the same time.

Like everything that happened is like spider webs... things that revolve around one thing and get broken just the same. Everything we ever thought was perfect never stays that way for very long.

Circles. Like those we used to draw in Astronomy, the ones we used to see in Divination; the Department of Mysteries in its circles of deviant alluring mysticalness.

Do you see where we are? Can you see us now?

We see you all the time, in every mirror, in every book, everywhere. We can close our eyes, but we still see you...we never can see the color green without thinking of your eyes, the way they looked when you laughed.

We know that you were trying so hard to get away from everything. We know that you knew that you could never escape; like the rat in the maze, looking for a way out and finding none.

No path that could lead you to the place you were longing to be.

We know that when the end came, you were ready. We knew about every possible thing that could ever happen. We just didn't want what did happen to happen. We were there...helpless, but there. We saw the whole thing.

We love you Harry...but you don't know us anymore. You are gone.

Trying too hard is the same as failing and winning at the same time. You won and failed. You saved us all and died yourself. There is no easy way to grasp the possibility of life and its endings.

There were so many and too many endings in your life. We love you Harry, but you don't know us anymore. You are gone, but we are still here. And we will remain here until you come back to us for good.

Love, your friends,

Hermione & Ron

*********************************************************

The blank stare told them that he didn't comprehend. It was a lost cause. Too bad, they shook their heads.

The Boy Who Lived was in a state of complete catatonia. Nothing would ever shake him from the Dark Lord's grasp.

Nothing could ever save him now. Here he was, barley 18...saved the entire wizarding world from the most powerful evil wizard ever, never to speak, walk, or think ever again.

Ron and Hermione didn't know what was worse...living without your soul, or living with your soul still intact with no hope that you could ever use it again.

They held each other nightly as they cried, wanting to find some way to help Harry so badly that they barely slept.

They had always been there for him, always given him the chance, the way out, the answer.

But for this. They didn't know how.

They still tried.