However Far Away - Part II of Romance, Slytherin Style

Please Note: This is Part II of a trilogy. Please read Part I, Somewhere Only We Know, first.

Romance, Slytherin Style ~ A Trilogy ~ Part II

However Far Away
Chapter One

by Sea Isle Witch

It was a perfect summer night: clear and mild, with a light breeze. But life was far from perfect.

Although it was very late, she stood on the loggia, staring out at the starry sky as she did every night. Sleep didn't come easily to her these days, and she doubted anyone else was getting much either. There was too much to think about.

And she hadn't heard from him.

Pansy went inside and curled up on her chaise lounge, slip-covered in pink linen. As she pulled a silky blanket over her bare legs, her thoughts turned to those two precious weeks last summer.

"The royal bedchamber, I presume," he teased, looking around her suite of rooms, which was as grand as the rest of the manor. The walls were upholstered in pale green silk damask and the wood floors were covered in antique Aubusson rugs.

He picked up a framed photograph. "Who's that with you?" he asked, with a hint of suspicion.

"My brother, Gareth. You'll meet him this weekend, along with his wife, Clarice, and their twin boys."

Draco nodded. She watched in amusement as he inspected her decor. He sat down on her extravagantly draped and tasselled canopy bed.

"So, this is where the princess sleeps," he said dreamily, leaning back on the Matelasse coverlet and closing his eyes.

Mmmm... Draco's on my bed...

He propped himself up on his elbow and gave her a devilish look.

Draco's on my bed! "Mother might come up!"

Taking the hint, he moved across the room to her Rococo-style vanity table, where she kept an assortment of crystal potion bottles. He selected an ornate emerald decanter.

She tried to take it from him. "Draco!"

Draco held fast and twisted away from her, and then removed the silver top. Turning back, he dramatically inhaled the contents. "Ahhh... that's the one," he drawled appreciatively.

"What are you going on about?"

"It's the one you use on your hair."

Such a small detail, yet one that made her heart skip a beat. He knew her scent. She had never suspected he knew her so intimately.

Now, the only thing keeping her going was the hope he would come to her. She had kept her promise to stay safe and had remained at her family's heavily protected estate all summer. She spent most of her time outside, drawing or reading near the pond, where they had shared picnics the summer before. He knew where to find her.

~ * ~

"Miss Pansy, are you wanting anything?" A little house-elf, with cerulean eyes, hovered at the foot of the chaise. Her attire, a Toil de Jouy pillowcase, was clean and starched. A pink braided cord, with petite pink tassels, was tied around her waist, and rose satin slippers completed her ensemble.

Pansy shook her head. "No, Pinkie. It's late, go to bed."

"You are so sad. Pinkie wants to make you feel better, Missy."

"There's only one thing that can help me."

"Master Malfoy."

Pansy sighed. "If ever there is a message from him, you will find me--wherever I am, won't you, Pinkie?"

"Pinkie will tell Miss Pansy if the eagle owl approaches. Pinkie is a good house-elf and wants to see Missy happy."

"Even after I leave for Hogwarts tomorrow, you have to find a way to get his message to me."

"You can count on Pinkie."

"And you are not to tell a soul."

"You can trust Pinkie at all times."

"I know."

"You are packed, and I made Missy's favourite snack, lemon biscuits, to eat on the train ride. You must eat, Miss Pansy. You are too skinny!"

"I don't want food. All I want is to know is that he's safe. Now, it's late, go to bed."

"Good night, Missy. If you need Pinkie..."

"I wish you could come back with me, Pinkie. I don't know who will be there. I might be the only Slytherin."

"Pinkie is missing you already, Miss Pansy."

"Please find me if you hear anything, anything at all."

"Pinkie promises."

~ * ~

"Pansy, please stay home. You will be privately tutored. I'll do it myself, if it will suit you."

"No, thank you, Mummy. What good does it do me to sit here, isolated from witches and wizards my own age? I've had enough of that this summer. The N.E.W.T. level classes will challenge me, and I need something constructive to do. I must go back."

"It is not safe!" her mother insisted.

"'The Ministry has heavily fortified Hogwarts. There are now guard posts at the perimeters, Auror teams stationed inside, new inspection procedures, and several new magical protections, of which the Ministry declines to comment,'" Mr Parkinson said, reading from his Daily Prophet.

Pansy had already read the article earlier this morning, when she had made her daily scan of the paper in search of news about Draco. As usual, there was nothing about her wizard, but there was something about a small disturbance in Cornwall, involving what some believed to be Death Eaters. She always wondered if Draco was involved in these skirmishes, but usually decided that he probably hadn't been. None of the things ever seemed like something Draco would be a part of, or at least that's what she told herself.

Mr Parkinson put his paper down and turned to Pansy. "I've spoken to Horace Slughorn myself, for his assurances of your safety. However, I want you home if there is even an inkling of trouble. Do you understand me?"

"Yes, Father."

"Will you reconsider going to Beauxbatons this year? Your French is sufficient," her mother tried.

"No, Mummy. I want to finish at Hogwarts and become fully qualified, as you and Father did. I'm sorry to disappoint you."

"How could I possibly be disappointed in my very intelligent, committed daughter? You may have a little Ravenclaw in you yet," Mrs Parkinson teased.

"There's nothing wrong with Slytherin, my dear lady," Mr Parkinson stated firmly, but with a smile. "She's very clever and takes after me."

Mrs Parkinson suppressed her smile. "Please eat something, Pansy."

Pansy took a bite of her toast. "It's time for me to leave. Pinkie is bringing my trunk," she said, rising from the breakfast table. She kissed her father on the cheek.

"Your mother and I will see you off."

"There's no need."

"We shall Apparate together."

~ * ~

Pansy looked out at her parents, standing arm in arm on the platform, and blew them a kiss. She had arrived early in order to claim their compartment, the same one as last year, just in case, but no one came in, and she felt even more miserable and lonesome now than she had felt all summer. She put her head in her hands. Keep it together, Pansy.

The Daily Prophet reported there was less than half of the student body returning this year, and the atmosphere aboard the Hogwarts Express was sombre. So far she hadn't seen any other Slytherins. Most were Gryffindors and Ravenclaws, with a few Hufflepuffs. Prefects were expected to meet in the head compartment and then patrol the train, but she decided to leave the Gryffindors and Ravenclaws to monitor their own. She just wanted to stay in this compartment. As the train moved out of the station, she leaned her cheek against the cool glass and closed her eyes, remembering last year's journey.

"Pansy, you lovely witch," he flattered, when she entered the compartment.

She said nothing.

"Did you miss me?" he asked as he stowed her luggage.

"Did you?"

"You know I did," he whispered, gently taking her face into his hands and kissing her tenderly.

The door of the compartment slid halfway open. It was Crabbe and Goyle.

"Wait out there," Draco commanded. He slammed it shut and turned back to Pansy.

"I liked visiting you this summer."

"I thought you had," she mentioned, sitting down next to the window. She was a bit perturbed, not having heard from him since his visit, but she was also relieved he was making an effort now.

"So, did you miss me?" He stretched out on the bench, and laid his head in her lap. His light grey eyes searched for the answer.

"Yes."

"That's good," he said, smiling at her, as she moved his silky blond hair from his forehead. "I really did miss you, more than you can imagine." Draco leaned up and gave her a quick kiss, before waving his wand at the door, allowing the other Slytherins to enter.

Memories were all she had of him. She would do anything to have him here today. Or at least to know he was safe.

She hadn't seen Draco since the week after their evening at the tree house. For her own safety, Draco insisted it should appear to be over between them. It had been extremely difficult for her, especially after what transpired between them that night. She had never felt closer to him; yet she was forced to accept that he was determined not to involve her in his activities, even if it meant separation. She ached for his touch, and had difficulty concentrating on anything except what he had told her. Whenever their eyes met from across the room, there was an unspoken vow of commitment and solidarity.

One night, later that week, all hell had broken loose. Death Eaters invaded the school, and Dumbledore was dead. Snape was the object of a massive Wizard hunt by Ministry Aurors. It was rumoured that Draco left with Snape, and she couldn't find him anywhere in the castle afterwards. Draco had just disappeared.

*
"Pansy, if something bad happens, go home to your family where you will be safe, don't wait."
*

Afterward, Slughorn gathered the Slytherins in the common room; he insisted it was safer to stay than to leave in the middle of the night. Pansy's parents came to get her the very next morning, but they ended up going home and returning for Dumbledore's funeral.

*
"Always remember this: I love you, no matter what happens or what you hear. Nothing will ever change that."
*

All summer long she lived on edge, waiting to hear something. She felt empty, restless, and as though nothing could satisfy her. Draco's cruel reality terrified her. When she was able sleep, she often had nightmares involving Death Eaters torturing Draco. She would wake up screaming; Pinkie, who was sworn to secrecy, would tend to her with a damp cloth and a shot of Firewhisky.

Pansy's appetite was non-existent, and she had to force herself to eat even the smallest amount at meals. Subconsciously, she couldn't help depriving herself, because she knew he was suffering. Pinkie had taken to secretly making health potions as means of nourishment. Pansy tolerated them as best as she could, and only because the concoctions were flavoured with fresh strawberries, her favourite.

Now she was on the train, going back to school, where she would spend her time engrossed in her studies. Improving her skills may prove useful in the future, and it might even help Draco in some way. She knew he would understand her need to carry on with her magical training, and he would know where to find her.

She stretched out on the seat and pulled her robes over her legs. Opening her Advanced Charms book, she started to read.

~ * ~

There was only one other Slytherin in her year, Millicent Bulstrode, who had not taken the train due to her parents' concerns. Pansy didn't want to share a room with anyone this year if she didn't have to, not even with her long-time school friend. The sixth year dorm was empty, and with quick thinking, she pointed out the advantages of them both having their own rooms this year. She also made the excuse that she was getting a Crup. She skilfully convinced Millicent that her Kneazle wouldn't get along with her new pet. Pansy secretly felt she had enough of that sneaky cat after all these years, anyway.

So, Pansy commandeered the girls' seventh year dorm. With the aid of Professor Slughorn, she had the extra beds removed and was able to find a few other pieces of furniture, including a larger bed that was formerly used for staff members. She had spent some time casting cleaning spells at the bed and had even found a Hogwarts elf to do the same. She sent an owl to her mother, asking for some personal items and bed linens from home, and she also requested the Crup. She didn't want to lose her only friend by getting caught in a lie, and she thought a Cruppy would be an amiable roommate. Pansy was sure to let her mother know she would need special permission from the Headmistress for the unusual student pet. Sorting out her room helped take her mind off her despair.

Most of Pansy's classes only had less than ten students. She was paired with people she had never spoken to before, but she found a few were rather acceptable, especially the Ravenclaws. Harry and his entourage were nowhere to be seen, and that suited Pansy just fine.

"Miss Parkinson, please wait after class," McGonagall instructed, after one particularly challenging Advanced Transfiguration class. As the acting Headmistress, McGonagall was only teaching the N.E.W.T. level class this year.

"Yes, Headmistress."

After the last student had left, McGonagall said, "Follow me."

"May I ask what this is about, Headmistress?" Pansy inquired respectfully as she walked with her teacher.

"You have a visitor."

Shocked, Pansy dropped her rucksack, spilling the contents in the corridor. Oh, Branwen, is it him? Her heart was in her throat.

A passing seventh year Ravenclaw, Kevin Entwhistle, retrieved her books with a flick of his wand, without breaking his stride.

"Oh, thanks."

"Anytime, Miss Parkinson," he replied stylishly with a bow, continuing on his way.

Pansy shot him vacant look, and then hurried after the Headmistress. Oh, please, please let it be him!

"I'll allow you some time alone," McGonagall stated crisply. "Nepeta cataria." The password revealed the stairway up to her office.

"Thank you, Headmistress."

Pansy leapt up the steps and flung open the door. Is it him?

"Oh...Mummy," Pansy whimpered, collapsing at her mother's feet, and sobbing uncontrollably.

"It seems I have arrived precisely at the right moment," Mrs Parkinson murmured as she knelt down to hug her daughter.

"Hush-hush, Pansy, Mummy's here."

"Oh, Mummy, she told me I had a visitor! I thought..." she cried, wetting her mother's fine robes with tears.

Pansy felt something warm press against her leg. "You brought the Cruppy!"

Pansy picked up the baby wizards' dog and cuddled it. It was snowy white with chestnut markings, brown soulful eyes and a forked tail.

"I can see the two of you will be great friends."

"This is just what I needed, Mother."

"Shall we go outside for a walk?" Mrs Parkinson asked, handing Pansy a linen handkerchief. "We can talk more freely," she whispered, nodding toward the portraits.

"I could use a little fresh air. I miss that about home."

Mrs and Miss Parkinson were soon strolling across the heavily guarded grounds, with the Cruppy at their heels.

"Pansy, I know you have been sad all summer long, and now I see you like this. Please, tell me what I can do to help you."

"I think this sweet creature will help me."

"Yes, but there's more you are not telling me. Does this have anything to do with Draco Malfoy? He hasn't tried to contact you, has he?" Mrs Parkinson took Pansy by surprise and looked directly into her eyes.

"Mother!" Pansy looked away and prepared herself to use the Occlumency skills she had been practicing; she needed to be cautious while under such close scrutiny.

"Pansy, I saw an image."

"Mother!"

"It was Draco. In a romantic setting."

"Well, it shouldn't come as such a surprise. We've been...I mean we had been dating since fourth year."

"He was nude."

"No, Mother, you have misinterpreted it. There was never a time when Draco was completely undressed in my presence." Pansy chose her words carefully.

"We were all charmed by him, Pansy. He appeared to be everything we'd want for our daughter: pure-blood line, significant fortune, social position, intelligence, fine manners, exceptional appearance and of course, there was fact that he was clearly enamoured of you."

"He was? How do you know?"

"It was written all over his face, dear," Mrs Parkinson said, smirking.

"You used Legilimency on Draco?"

"He was an open book when you were nearby."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Pansy wailed. "I needed to know! I might have been able to do something if I had known."

"Your father and I decided not to cultivate the courtship, so I didn't feel it was in your best interest to know."

"You decided? What right do you have? Why did you not want me to be with Draco?"

"We had only one reason."

"What was that reason, Mother?" she demanded, with rising anger. She needed to know everything.

"His father. We cannot have a Death Eater in the family. We've always been worried Draco would follow him, and we did not want that for you. I know you told us that Draco was different and would never be involved, but we seem to have been wise in our choice. I understand that he is not enrolled this year and is apparently missing."

Pansy didn't have a reply.

"Pansy, I know how terrible this is for you..."

"How can you?"

"You are my daughter. I know you."

"What do you know about me? You know nothing about how I feel!"

"Pansy, I know enough to see that Draco Malfoy has caused you great sadness. I'm worried about you, dear. Surely, you must see that there's no hope with Draco. Could you imagine living in constant terror? Or unimaginable cruelty? No, I know you would never choose that for yourself."

"Draco would never hurt me!"

"And now that Draco has chosen his path..." began Mrs Parkinson.

"We don't know that to be true! There's still hope! Please, Mummy, try to understand how deeply I feel about him!"

"Oh, Pansy, dear, I can tell and it breaks my heart that he has already hurt you emotionally. Let us not forget what He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named would do to your marriage, family and children, if you lived that long. He could harm you to force Draco to do unimaginable things. Any association with those Dark Wizards could be fatal. You must close your thoughts to Draco. Use the skills your father and I taught you." Mrs Parkinson saw Pansy look startled. "Yes, I know about the secret Occlumency lessons with your father. Use those skills to push him out of your mind. There really is nothing else to be done."

"I-I don't know if I can. He made me feel weak and powerful at the same time. I couldn't stand to be near him and not touch him. He told me he loved me, and I believed him. You saw it yourself last summer. How can I forget that?" I wish I could tell her everything.

"Pansy," her mother said, hugging her, "I know it's difficult. If it were easy, then it wouldn't have been love, but you have to realize that Draco Malfoy is not your Wizard prince."

"I thought we would marry--ever since the Yule Ball, when I wore my pretty pink dress robes. He told me that night; he told me I was his princess."

"I am truly sorry, Pansy. All your hopes where he is concerned are tragically gone. You must do your very best to overcome this. You are stronger than you think."

"I don't feel very strong right now. I feel dead. I feel like I'm walking around in someone else's body. I don't feel connected to anything!"

Just then the Cruppy stood up on its tiny back legs and put its head and paws on her. Pansy looked down at the adorable sight, and she couldn't help but to pick up her little animal. It was soft, warm and soothing to hold.

"Pansy, maybe taking care of the Cruppy will help you realise that you are alive. You have a future, dear. You just have to take it. Is there anything I can do to help you?" asked Mrs Parkinson.

"I can't think of anything." Except helping me to go back in time.

"You should know all of the Ministry Time-Turners were destroyed last year--by Draco's father."

"Is that true?" Draco's father did that? "Stop intruding in my mind!"

"I'm sorry to tell you, but it is one more piece of information that stacks up against that family."

"Mummy, it's been so hard on me."

"I was afraid of this."

"Millicent and I are the only seventh year Slytherins, and there are no sixth years. I-I'm trying to start new friendships, with other Houses who are in my classes."

"I'm very happy to hear that. There are many good people in Ravenclaw, I'm sure."

"I suppose so."

"Are there any Ravenclaw pure-blood boys to choose from? That may help get your mind off Draco."

"Yes, there is one or two, but I don't think I could do that."

"When you're ready, dear, you will know. Now, off I go. I have a tea later, and you have classes. Everything is settled with the Headmistress; she's being quite lenient this year, and I've given her a copy of the Ministry Crup license. I think we can wait to have the tail removed; there are no Muggles here at Hogwarts, and certainly none at Blossom Hall Park."

"Thank you for bringing the Cruppy, Mummy."

"I love you, Pansy. Please give careful consideration to what we have discussed," she said, embracing her only daughter. "Remember to owl and tell me the name you choose for him. I'm always available to you, dear, no matter what you need. Never forget that." Her mother walked toward the sentry at the front gates.

Pansy sat down on the lawn to cuddle her new Cruppy.

"So you're a boy? You won't break my heart, will you?"

~ * ~

It was two weeks before Winter break. Pansy and Fefnir were returning to the castle from their brisk walk out in the cold, frosty morning. She relished the dawn walks with her animal companion. It gave her a chance to clear her head after a night of dreams, or often, nightmares.

The intensity of her nightmares had lessened a bit lately; there was some comfort in being where she had spent six years with him. On the other hand, it was heartbreaking to look over at the chair he favoured in the common room, now empty. Occasionally it would be occupied by some little Slytherin, and she would make them move, without any explanation.

Sometimes, passionate dreams of their night at the tree house invaded her slumber. If she ever had another chance, absolutely nothing would stop her from loving him--completely.

I should have hexed Professor Snape, she thought bitterly. He wouldn't have expected it from me; he was too busy staring at my breasts.

She took the Cruppy back to her room, and after his morning meal, he curled up in his basket for a nap near the heater. It's nice to have something warm and loving waiting for you. I wonder if Draco thinks about me waiting for him. It's been so long...

*
"I'm being forced to do something, so my family won't be killed, and I would never forgive myself if something happened to you. I need you to be safe, so I have something to live for."
*

Pansy remembered everything he told her that night. I have to be here for him. I want him to live.

She met Millicent in the common room, and the pair walked down to breakfast. They were accustomed to the emptiness of the school, but sitting in the Great Hall was still challenging. The other House tables were half full, but there were very few Slytherins in comparison.

"Pansy, that Ravenclaw, Entwhistle, is looking at you again," whispered Millicent.

"So."

"He's quite fit. Or haven't you noticed?"

"Haven't noticed."

"Well, he's coming over here."

Pansy looked up to see Kevin approaching. She gave him a quick smile, knowing he probably wanted to borrow some notes again. He seems to be obsessed with note taking.

"Good morning, Pansy, Millicent."

"Morning," Pansy chimed.

"Hi, Kevin. Pansy, I forgot my Charms essay in the dorm, I'll see you in class later," Millicent called out, leaving her alone at the end of the table.

"May I sit?" A Ravenclaw would have never asked to sit at the Slytherin table before this year, but relations between the Houses were more relaxed these days.

"Of course," Pansy said graciously as she looked through her emerald velvet rucksack. "Here they are," she said, offering the roll of parchment containing her Charms notes.

"I don't need your notes today, but thanks anyway."

She looked at him curiously. What could he want then?

"Some of us have been talking," he began conspiratorially, leaning in. "With no Hogsmeade visits this term, it only seems right that there's something to make up for it. McGonagall's given us permission to have what she is calling a gathering. We're calling it a party. Only the sixth and seventh years will be allowed to attend."

"Oh."

"It's this Saturday night, in the antechamber just off the Hall. We're having music, dancing, butterbeer and food. I wanted to be the first to ask; would you like to be my date?"

Huh? Why is he asking me? She wore a puzzled expression.

"Surely you've noticed that I admire you, Pansy. It's just a party. I think we all could use a bit of cheering-up. What do you say?"

"I-I don't know what to say. May I have a while to think on it?" She didn't want to hurt his feelings by rejecting him on the spot, but she couldn't think of an appropriate excuse to say no. She obviously couldn't mention her promise to Draco.

*
"I hate to say this, but it is best that people think we're no longer together."
*

"You have all week to decide, but I hope you'll come with me. I'll be a perfect gentleman." He flashed a dazzling smile and then left.

He just asked me to go to that party--with him! If Draco knew about this! But Draco wasn't there, and she knew it was likely he would never know.

The morning mail came rushing in. It was always late now, since every package was inspected. A handsome black owl belonging to her father landed in front of her. She quickly skimmed through her father's letter; he was proud of her for enduring her seventh year under such circumstances. She would read it more carefully later because it was almost time to head up to Arithmancy.

As she prepared to leave, an eagle owl swooped in and circled the room. Draco! She sat down so Draco's owl could find her; the butterflies in her stomach were fluttering wildly. Good thing I'm alone. The owl continued to circle, and then landed in front of a second year Slytherin girl at the other end of the table. I'm over here, you brainless bird!

She watched as the girl squealed with delight. She removed the pink parchment and opened it! Daft girl! Pansy marched over.

"Whose owl is that, Bethany?" asked her companion.

"I don't know, but the letter is from my sister, Bunny."

"Will you let me read it?"

"After I have a chance, Emmy. Let's go now, or we'll be late for Herbology!" Pansy heard the girl say. Bethany shoved the letter into her bright pink book bag and practically skipped out of the Great Hall.

Pansy stood there stunned. The eagle owl was still standing on the table, eating a scrap of ham. It is Killer! The owl gave her a disdainful look, and then flew away.

She was utterly dumbfounded. What just happened? She had to sit down; she felt faint from the shock and also from her lack of food. Everybody had already left the Great Hall, so she sat there alone, in a daze.

She didn't know how much time passed, but when she snapped out of it, she grabbed her bag and left.

"Hey, Pansy! Where have you been?" Millicent shouted to her as she passed her in the hall.

Pansy didn't hear her; she strode straight past and went to her room. She slammed the door, and fell into her cosy chair. Fefnir jumped into her lap to comfort her as she cried.

~ * ~

There was a knock on the door, causing Fefnir to bark and waking Pansy. It was already dusk. She heard another knock and quickly smoothed her hair and skirt.

"Yes?" she called.

"Pansy, it's me, Millicent, and Madam Pomfrey is here too. May we come in?"

"Err..." Pansy faltered, but opened the door.

"Oh, dear, you do look faint. I'll just take a peek at you, if you don't mind. Lie down on the bed, dear." Madam Pomfrey pulled back the covers and helped Pansy in.

"I'll take Fefnir for his walk, Pansy," Millicent said.

"You're a good friend," she mumbled.

When Millicent left, Madam Pomfrey waved her wand over Pansy. "It's just a case of the nerves. I don't usually see this sort of thing until just before N.E.W.T.s, but with everything that's been going on lately, we've all been on edge."

She handed Pansy a potion. "This will help you sleep through the night, and in the morning, take this one, every last drop. It's a new, milder version of my Pepperup Potion, so you'll be feeling better in no time. Miss Parkinson, please eat a little more; it will help."

Pansy looked up at the lady in the white hat; she remembered watching her climb the ladder. She must miss Professor Snape. Pansy fell into a dreamless sleep.

~ End of Chapter One ~

However far away
I will always love you

However long I stay
I will always love you

Whatever words I say
I will always love you

I will always love you

From 'Love Song', by The Cure