Could It Be Any Harder

I'm sitting in the library, cramming for the Potions test. I notice someone approach in my direction and stop, then continue hesitantly. They stop a few feet from the table I'm sitting at. I take quick glance to see who it is. It's him and I look at him intently to let him know that I'm interested in what he has to say.

"Can I talk to you a minute?"

"Well, I'm kind of studying for the big test in a half-hour. But for you I'll make an exception." I say as we both smile but his looks forced and it begins to worry me.

"I . . . We . . . Maybe . . ." I'm puzzled by his sudden lose of words.

"Yes?" I'm hoping he's just nervous to ask me to Hogsmeade. I've been picturing us walking together hand in hand, peaking into the shop windows.

"I don't know how else to put this but, here it goes."

You left me with goodbye and open arms

A cut so deep I don't deserve

And that was when my heart was broken. All my happy thoughts and memories with him dissolved in front of me. It was like I watched my spirit slowly die right before me.

You were always invincible in my eyes

The only thing against us now is time

At first I was speechless, then stunned. I didn't know whether this was a nightmare or if my mind was playing tricks on me.

"Are you . . . okay?" I gathered myself and returned to my normal piece of mind. No I'm not okay! I wanted to scream at him. You just broke me. Broke my heart.

Could it be any harder to say goodbye and without you

Could it be any harder to watch you go, to face what's true

If only I had one more day

I ran. Ran to hide myself, feeling naked without him. Ran away from him before he could say 'We could still be friends.' Everyone says that and everyone knows it never does happen. I ran fast, hoping all these thoughts would just escape with the wind blowing past my ears. I would never feel them again.

I lie down and blind myself with laughter

A quick fix of hope is what I'm needing

I laid there for what seemed an eternity, wasting in my sorrow. I couldn't believe it was true. I didn't understand how he could do that to me.

And how I wish that I could turn back the hours

But I know I just don't have the power

So the rest of the week I floated through the school, unaware of what went on around me, not caring what went on around me.

Class lets out and I walk out into the crowed hallway, adding to my lonely feelings. I walk hurried around a group of slow people. As I pass they whisper to each other and I can feel them staring and pointing at me. I shake the thoughts out of my head and continue for the Great Hall.

Now days I just grab what looks appetizing and head for my private retreat. Today as I grab a couple rolls I feel someone staring at me. I look up, prepared for the agonizing taunting, but it's just him. I continue gather food and ignore him. He looks as though he wants to say something but closes his mouth.

Could it be any harder to say goodbye and without you

Could it be any harder to watch you go, to face what's true

I take one last glance at him and see that he has been watching me the whole time. My hands feel shaking and sweaty. Butterflies flutter in my stomach, unsure of what he might be thinking or about to say.

If only I had one more day

I leave quickly because his friend has just started talking to him and I don't want to my presence obvious. I can feel his eyes still watching me as I walk through the doors.

I step outside and I'm greeted by a soft breeze. I take a deep breath as a smile curls across my face, this night is a perfect getaway from my feelings.

I settle on the lake's banks, unfolding my small piece of cloth and set my food on it. I look up into the sky. Clear as day with a bright full moon shining. The lake is still and undisturbed. Everything is peaceful and serene.

And I wish you didn't go

I wish you didn't go, I wish you didn't go away

*~~*~~*~~*

People are talking around me in the common room. Some to me, some to others. But I don't know what they say. I haven't head them for the past week. Not since I made the biggest mistake I ever could.

I only see her in class, sitting in the corner alone and quiet. I see her in the halls, lagging behind everyone else and hurrying around people. As they point and make fun of her every move every where she goes. All her misery is because of what I did.

To touch you again

With life in your hands

It couldn't be any harder . . . harder . . . harder