The Other Side

Chapter 5 - Pain

~*~

Her head hurt. Her body ached. She struggled to sit up, her milky-white hands gripping the slimy floor unsteadily as she felt the blood rush from her head. As soon as the room had stopped spinning around her, she risked a look around. In front of her was a heavy stone slab on hinges, which served as the door, and all around her stood thick, unforgiving walls. A shudder ran down her spine as she remembered how her old Potions class had been. Compared to the present-day classroom, hers had been completely inhospitable and every bit as cold as the teacher who had owned it.

But it was the shaft of light, shining through the tiny, barred window at the top that drew her attention. From her lonely cell, she could barely spot the clear, blue sky, but the quick glimpse struck her heart deeply, like a glance at a friend who has not been seen for many a year. How she longed to run outside and savor the vast azure pool above her and enjoy the warming rays of the sun! Indeed, she had not realized until now how much she truly missed the outside world. Closing her eyes, she thought back to her days at Hogwarts; it all seemed so distant now, just a passing dream that she had risen from to meet a brutal world. A world with pain, death, and Voldemort at the center of it all; Voldemort who had taken her from her comfortable world and held her in this miserable place; Voldemort who had brought her out and tempted her with his offer; Voldemort who had been her lover once...

Oh, snap out of it. You know perfectly well that you can´t accept it, no matter how much it would appeal to you to be with him again. It´s over...has been over...since the day you left him. He doesn´t want you anymore, no, only your power. He doesn´t love you anymore...right?

The meeting played itself over and over again in her head, and the doubts she had about what he had said came rushing back to her in a deluge. She seized her head in a panic as her pulse began to race, and she began to shake uncontrollably. "No...please, no...leave me alone...get out...I don´t want to hear your empty promises or your deceiving words...you liar!" Her voice gradually grew in volume to match the growing crescendo of his words, repeating over and over in her mind before dying down into a tense silence.

In her mind, she saw herself; she saw the mirror´s reflection once again, and illuminated by a ghastly shade of green, it was almost as if she had risen from the bowels of Hades to rule with Death himself as his promised Consort. A world, devastated by war, could be seen in the background, and corpses littered the barren plains as far as the eye could see.

A sibilant voice, hissing in her head: This is who you are beneath the flesh. This is your fate, your destiny.

"This isn´t me. This won´t happen. I...I won´t let it happen..."

"Minerva?" Loud footsteps echoed through the cell as if from the shadows, a sallow-faced man emerged.

She jerked wildly, peering out from crazed eyes at the intruder. "Who´s there?"

The apparition blurred again, but when it spoke, there was no mistaking the familiar sneer, although she was sure it wasn´t intended. "Who do you think? It´s Severus. How are you feeling?"

A jolt of annoyance ran through her brain. How was she feeling? How else would she be feeling under these conditions? Instead, she exercised her practiced self-restraint and forced herself to smile. "A little worse for the wear, but I´m still in one piece."

"You´re not and we both know it." He fixed a glare upon her. "You need to get out of here. You...don´t look well."

Pain, and then rage, flooded through her frail body. She knew she should accept his aid, knew he was right, but there was that irrational thought - the fear of being useless and forgotten - that kept her from accepting.

"I´m well enough," she snapped back with a glare.

He, however, had walked over to the tiny window up at the top and was staring intently upward, his back turned to her. "We´re...we´re working on getting you out. We just need a little more time," he murmured softly.

"When will that be? When I die? When I go insane?" Minerva whispered, shivering at the memory of that image

"We need time."

"You don´t have time, Severus."

Snape shut his eyes in resignation. "We´re doing the best we can under the circumstances."

You´re such a liability.

A terse silence followed. Minutes dragged on for what seemed like hours; neither knew what to say. It was true - one couldn´t just break into a dungeon controlled by the Dark Lord and expect easy passage in and out, especially with the Ministry still dubious of the entire situation.

Faint footsteps could be heard echoing down the hallway. "You have to leave," she whispered, an expression of alarm on her face as she glanced around the cell quickly, looking for undetected bugs that could have possibly overheard the conversation.

Snape nodded as he grabbed his mask and swiftly donned it. "Be brave, Minerva," he said, turning to her one last time before he slipped out of the room.

The steps disappeared as swiftly as they had come; Minerva assumed that Snape had quietly diffused the situation. Sending a silent word of thanks to him, she walked over to the bench and sat down. Talking with Snape had brought out familiar images of home again. To wake up at dawn and watch the sun rise...

"Dreaming, my dear?"

Minerva turned around, startled, and had to struggle to not be violently ill. The white skull and glaring red eyes of Voldemort were still hard for her to get used to - in fact, she hoped that she would never have to get used to it. It was hard to imagine that this was Tom...

"Thinking," she replied after what seemed to be an eternity, banishing the thoughts from her head.

He laughed, or as much as he could laugh in that form, for it was without warmth or humor. "Have you decided?" he asked, sobering up as he approached her without hesitation.

She detected a hint of impatience in his voice and felt her body tense up. Was he truly seeking an answer from her right now? "No...I´ve hardly any time to think it over..."

"You´ve had plenty of time to think things over," he snapped, his face contorting in rage, "and now is time to decide."

"...for either way you choose you cannot win...you´ve passed the point of no return..."