Decisions

It was a bleak morning in winter as the sun rose on Hogwart's castle. The dim, yet blinding sunlight coated the grounds as it peaked above the horizon; streaming through the windows of the school as well. The school looked bright but dreary at the same time; as usual, snow-less winter days do.

Severus Snape sat in his office, located deep into the dungeons of the school, away from the morning sunlight. Weariness hung on all of his muscles as he flipped through the Daily Prophet, skimming over various articles that littered its pages. His eyelids drooped as if two weights dangled from them, begging him to close his eyes and get some sleep. Though he desperately needed it, he couldn't. The Order meeting had carried on late the previous night, but he still had classes to teach; and there was no time for a nap.

Bitterly, Severus muttered a curse under his breath. The students wouldn't be happy when they found out what a bad mood he was in. But, as usual, he didn't really care; if they had to work for the Order of the Phoenix and teach Potions at Hogwarts, they would feel the same way. What was he thinking, juggling two jobs like this at once? Why did he join the Order of the Phoenix in the first place? It was only another burden on the workload he had to endure every day.

Angrily, he closed the newspaper; exposing the cover story of the issue. The fury slowly faded from his eyes as he read the headline; "Young Witch Murdered, Dark Mark Found at the Scene,"

For a moment, he just sat there; staring at the article and the pictures that illustrated it. Thoughts and images flashed through his mind, but one thing was not distinguishable from the other. It was only after a few minutes, that he let out a sigh and pushed the newspaper away from him. Pushing his hair out of his face, he leaned his elbows on the desk and held his head in his hands. How dare he think that... why he had joined the Order... he knew perfectly well why he had joined. Because it was the only thing he could do... and it was probably the decision that saved his life. Plus, it was the only way to honor- but he stopped the thought before it could finish. He couldn't start thinking about that. That was years ago, and he promised himself he would never think about her, or what happened, ever again.

He closed his eyes, trying to force all the memories back into the deepest part of his mind. He couldn't think back to those times; they were too painful, despite how emotionless he came across. But the thoughts came flooding back anyway; hitting him at full force. Before he could stop them, the memories started to play across his closed eyelids; bringing him back to the end of his sixth year at Hogwarts, where the entire nightmare began.

******

Looking around carefully, 16-year old Severus Snape slowly opened the main doors of Hogwarts castle. A powerful gust almost blew him over by surprise, but he braced himself and quickly darted out the door. Luckily, no one roamed the castle this late at night; so he was able to slip out of the castle and onto the grounds with no trouble.

An evening chill lingered in the air, nipping at his skin like a pesky mosquito. Angrily, he rubbed his arms against the wind as he walked; Sirius Black better not have been playing a trick on him. He shouldn't have come in the first place, but his curiosity had gotten the better of him. Ever since their first year, Lupin would disappear for a few days every couple of weeks; and when Black told him he could see where he went all the time, he didn't dare to say no.

He went over the instructions that Black had given him in his head again. All he had to do was find a large branch, press the knot on the Whomping Willow, then go into a tunnel that apparently ran under it. It sounded absurd, but pressing the knot would supposedly freeze the tree; and allow him to find out the big secret Lupin was so keen on hiding. A sly smile crossed his face at what he was doing, he would finally have blackmail to hold over one of the Marauder's heads.

His footsteps crunching on the frost-bitten grass, he finally approached the Whomping Willow. It's deadly branches swayed back and forth; whether on its own, or by the wind, he didn't know. Before he got into a close proximity of it, he stopped and searched the ground around him for a stick. It wasn't too long before he noticed a long, thick branch lying near him; as if put there for the soul purpose of helping him. He picked it up, wrapped his fingers around its cold bark and started forward; preparing himself to sprint away in case it didn't work.

Cautiously, he neared the tree and held out the branch; making sure his footsteps fell onto the grass silently. His eyes scanned the trunk's surface till he found the knot he was looking for. Just as he spotted it, the tree noticed his arrival and reared back it's branches in fury; punishing him for stepping too close. But before it could strike him, he darted forward and pushed the knot with the stick; causing the tree to freeze dead in its tracks.

Smugly proud of himself, he tossed the stick aside and continued forward. The entrance to the tunnel was clearly visible now without the thrashing branches of the tree in his way. He heard the sound of pacing footsteps faintly from the tunnel; only increasing his curiosity more. He sped up immediately; growls could be heard from under the tree's roots... he could see a shadow emerging from the tunnel... he would finally-

"Snape, NO!"

Another body flew at him, grabbing him by the shoulders and forcing him to the ground. He fell to the ground painfully, getting a mouthful of grass and blood when he slammed into the dirt. Spitting out what was in his mouth, he strained his neck to see what now lay on top of him. Fury flamed within him when he spotted his familiar rival.

"Potter-"

James hushed him and rolled off his back; then pulling him up immediately. He turned behind him and shouted, "You're the one who came up with this stupid idea Sirius... now hold Moony back before he gets out of control!"

Severus felt his face burn red with both anger and not admitted embarrassment. "You mean this was some kind of a-"

"I told you to be quiet!" James hissed, "You have no idea what's going on, so push aside your Slytherin stubbornness and just listen to me!"

Severus was about to reach for his wand to curse him when a sight in the tunnel caught his attention. In the entrance, stood a large, fully-fledged werewolf; its eyes flaming red and its long teeth bared. It was growling loudly as it stared him down, its eyes hungry for his flesh. Could this be the Moony James was talking about? He could've sworn he remembered Lupin being called that sometimes by his friends... Then suddenly, putting two and two together, the truth struck him with a painful blow.

"Lupin's a-"

But James had already grabbed his arm and began to pull him away; ignoring anything that came out of his enemy's mouth. He struggled to stay put, but James' grip was too tight and he was forced to be dragged by him. Looking behind him, Severus now saw a black dog emerge from the bushes and attack the wolf; as if knowing it wanted to come for them now.

"You're like a dead weight," James groaned, tugging on him impatiently, "Come on! Do you want to get killed?"

"Let go of me!" Severus snarled, trying to rip is wrist from him, "You were the one who led me there in the first place!"

"I was not!" he snapped back.

"Yes you were!" Severus hissed, "You knew I was here, didn't you?"

James sighed angrily. "Yes, but-" He stopped and shook his head, still pulling Severus with him. "I'm not explaining the entire thing to you... the point is, you would've been mauled by a wolf if you stayed!"

"You mean mauled by Lupin," Severus spat, "I'm not the idiot you take me for, Potter, I know that was Lupin back there..."

Finally, James stopped; though he still made sure that his grip stayed secure. He opened his mouth to speak, but a painful yelp echoed through the night; causing his eyes to widen fearfully. Harshly, James let go of his wrist and stared Severus straight in the eyes; his deadly stare intimidating.

"If you tell anyone about this," he warned in a low, menacing tone, "There will be prices to pay... and I mean, BIG prices. I know we're not friends, or even close to it, but you need to keep this quiet... it's really important,"

"Why should I do you a favor when you and your friends tried to kill me in the first place?" Severus growled.

"Dumbledore will find out," Potter said, his eyes still nervously back to the Whomping Willow, "And you'll be the one in trouble, not Remus... now go to the castle and do not come back."

Severus opened his mouth to shoot an insult at him, but James had already turned around and ran; not even looking to see if he was following or not. Severus stood rooted in his spot, suddenly lost on what to do. It was just now, as he stood alone, that he realized how heavily he was breathing and how bad his muscles ached. Though he hated- no, despised- James Potter, there was nothing else he could do but follow his instructions. Cursing under his breath, he turned and sprinted back to the castle; trying to block out the howls that were sounding through the night. Right now, he had only one thought in his head; and that was to go straight to the headmaster's office. James was only trying to scare him into keeping it a secret, but Severus knew better. The minute Dumbledore found out Remus Lupin was a werewolf, he would expel him without a second thought. There was no way a creature that dangerous could stay on Hogwarts grounds; no chance at all.

The main doors to the castle flung open at his approach; giving Severus the advantage of not having to slow down. The breath was torn from his lungs by the chilly night air, but he still dashed up the grand staircase to the headmaster's office. It seemed like an eternity before he reached the stone gargoyle that guarded Dumbledore's office.

Having been sent to his office many times, Severus already knew the pattern of the Headmaster's passwords. Still gasping for breath, he began to name all the sweets he knew of; till "Droobles Best Blowing Gum" finally caused the gargoyle to leap aside and reveal a door. Hurriedly, he opened the door and walked down the corridor in great strides till he reached Dumbledore's office. Briskly, he knocked three times on the door.

It was a moment or so before it creaked open to reveal his headmaster, Albus Dumbledore. Half-moon glasses covered his twinkling blue eyes as his silver hair and beard glistened in the light from the fire. A pleasantly surprised smile was on his face when he cast his gaze on the scrawny student before him.

"Good evening, Mr. Snape," he greeted calmly, opening his door wider so the student could come in, "Isn't it a bit late to be out of your dormitory?"

"I know it's late," Severus answered, his manners not present, "But this is important..." He took a deep breath, trying to say this in the most formal way possible. "Sir, I have reason to believe there is a werewolf on the grounds..."

An odd gleam suddenly popped into Dumbledore's eyes, and his lips drooped in a slight frown. "Who is the student?" he asked urgently. Severus felt a swell of pride bubble in his stomach; he knew it all along. Dumbledore would expel Lupin in no time.

"Remus Lupin," he replied, trying to fight a smirk of his face, "I know for a fact that Remus Lupin is a werewolf,"

Dumbledore regarded Severus with a look of thought; then dropped his voice to a low murmur. "Mr. Snape," he muttered, "This may come as a shock, but I'm already aware of Mr. Lupin's condition." Severus felt his jaw drop; he knew? And he still permitted him to stay in the school?

"How you came to find this out, I'm not going to look into," his headmaster continued, "But you must keep this a secret. I was aware of the risk when I first allowed him into the school, and I've tried to set up every precaution to make sure he can do no one any harm. Others knowing is dangerous, and I need you to promise me you will not tell anyone."

Severus just stared at him in disbelief. "Why did you let him come here in the first place?" he asked, before he could stop himself, "He's a werewolf! He could bite anyone and-"

"I know it is a great chance to take," he interrupted, holding up a hand to silence him, "But Mr. Lupin should be allowed a chance to lead a normal school life despite his condition." Dumbledore looked down at him through his glasses. "Now do you promise me you'll keep the secret?"

Severus let out an angry sigh. There was nothing else he could do... he had to promise. "Fine," he answered hesitantly, "I won't tell anyone..."

Dumbledore nodded and placed a hand on Severus' shoulder. "Thank you," he said, leading him out of his office, "Now I recommend that you head up to your dormitory to get some sleep... you look very tired,"

"Night Headmaster," he replied shortly, tearing his shoulder away and walking back down the hallway. He didn't care if he sounded rude; fury was leaking its way through his veins. How could Dumbledore allow such a creature on Hogwarts grounds? It was craziness, that's what it was! Angrily, he continued to make his way down the corridors; trying his hardest to resist the urge to stomp as he walked. He couldn't help it... rage was exploding within him as he thought of what he had witnessed.

The Marauders were always treated specially... they always got what they want. Even being a werewolf, Lupin got more popularity than he did! If people knew the truth, good knows how his social status would plummet; and the thought made Severus' stomach squirm with a grim pleasure.

Then there was Sirius Black, the blood traitor that all the girls drooled over. He acted all suave and godly, but Severus knew about the true, darker roots of his family; and he knew how much Sirius resented it.

Then there was James; the ringleader and Quidditch god. Severus was surprised his head didn't explode from all the hot air pumped into it. He knew loads more spells and hexes than that idiot, and yet James got all the attention for his little tricks he used on others. The thoughts of them made Severus' stomach burn with anger, hate and jealousy. If there was anyone he would gladly watch suffer, it was James Potter; preferably with his little gang too.

As he walked through the dark corridors of the castle, Severus had made up his mind. One day, he would make them all pay. They would pay for all the teasing and torture they'd put him through. Maybe not when they were still in school, but he would get his revenge on them before he died. He didn't know how, but he would wipe the arrogant smirks off all their faces when he became more powerful than all of them combined.

Little did he know, how much it would cost him to do so.