Just a Weasley

Now that I think back on it, I was never really important to the dream team because I didn't do anything. I mean Hermione was the smart one, she knew all the spells. Then there was Harry and well, what couldn't Harry do? I know everyone's supposed to pity him, 'Oh look at the poor kid with no parents'. But didn't they know that everyone loved him? Take Hermione, for example, she didn't admit it until fifth year that she liked him, and everyone thought she liked me. Come to think of it, I thought she liked me too. I got a cruel awakening when I asked her to the Yule ball and she turned me down. I distinctly remember her telling me in fourth year that if I had asked her to the ball earlier, she would've gone with me, but then again Hermione never was completely honest. Who could ever want me when you could have him? He was the golden boy of Hogwarts, or rather, as he was so fondly called 'The boy who lived'. Harry was a baby when his parents were murdered and yet he gets credit for Voldemort's defeat. It was his mother who saved him with her love or something -I can't quite remember how Dumbledore put it. I could even handle all the attention he got until third year. I mean, my little sister was in love with him, Hermione was in love with him and he had a fan club of first year girls who fainted if he so much as glanced at them. What normal guy wouldn't get jealous? Harry always complained about his 'fans' too. If I had a fan club I would be the happiest guy in Hogwarts! Of course, Harry had to turn his adoring posse into another excuse to lament over his dead parents. Maybe I'm being insensitive, and I probably am, but wouldn't you get over a tragedy if you had thirteen years to do it? He barely knew his parents and I doubt if it bothered him that they were dead when he was younger. I just don't understand him, who wouldn't want fame and glory?

Enough about Harry, now I'd like to tell the truth about Hermione. Everyone pictured her as pretty, intelligent and determined, which she is, there's no doubt about that. But did anyone ever mention her unbearable egotism or her insufferable 'innocence act'. You might be wondering what her 'innocence act' is. Well it's exactly as it sounds; she pretended to be someone she wasn't. In fact, Hermione was the opposite of innocent - she was quite a... slut. As much as I hate that word, there's no better replacement for it. Hermione changed drastically in fifth year or so it seemed. I, however, knew the truth.

Hermione was always a bit of a whore, but she managed to hide it better when she was younger. Her longest secret affair was with none other than Draco Malfoy. While we're on the topic of everyone's favorite villain, I think I'll ruin the illusion.

Malfoy was quite the momma's boy, more so then Neville Longbottom, I expect, although Neville was more of a grandmother's boy, as both his parents were in St. Mungo's Mental Facility Wing. I can't stand to speak about that fool any longer so back to Malfoy. He always feared his father, though I don't blame him, if Lucius was my father I wouldn't be alive to tell this tale. It's rumored that Lucius beat him, a rumor I'm inclined to believe, mostly because Hermione confirmed it while she and Harry were in bed one night. Yes, I know what you're thinking, but keep in mind that he was drunk and she was a slut. Ah the things you learn through idle gossip. Now where was I? Oh yes, Malfoy. He always put on the pretence of the smug, pompous and irascible boy. In truth that was more Harry's role at good old Hogwarts. He had a number of nicknames, my personal favorite being pansy. What made that so amusing is that Pansy Parkinson always thought we were talking to her when we called him that. She would always turn her head quickly, ecstatic that people were talking to her. Then when she realized we were actually calling Draco, she would slump her shoulders and pretend she wasn't hurt. It was the same routine every time, but for some reason I never tired of it. Call me cynical if you wish or harshly judgmental, but you asked for the truth and I simply complied. I gave you my account of the happenings at Hogwarts. It would make an interesting book "The events at Hogwarts from the point of view of Ronald Weasley", not that anyone would care to read that anyway. No one ever bothers with me because my brothers and Harry are always there to outshine me. That's right I'm just poor, pathetic Ron Weasley.