Grey

The dreams came to him every night now, and Remus wasn't sure of what to do about them.

They started the same way every time--an almost surreal forest with a waxing gibbous moon high overhead, an almost tangible calling in his blood, a feeling that he had to run and run free. It was the feeling he always got when he Changed, though he was always human in the dream. More human than he ever felt awake, as if something that had been struggling inside him was finally at peace.

In the dream, he always followed that impulse to run, and his feet would always take him to the same place. A clearing in the forest, illuminated by moonlight, and a man, tall and black-haired, almost like James but with bright light green eyes, stood waiting for him there. Waiting for him, and Remus always came.

This dream was like all the others. He stepped into the clearing, and the man stepped forward to embrace him, cool lips passing over his forehead in greeting.

"Welcome, Remus," the man said softly, but with a genuine smile, as if he was sincerely glad that Remus had shown up. Even though Remus himself knew that he hadn't had any choice, and that the calling in his blood, drawing him towards this clearing and this man, would not be denied.

"Tom," Remus replied just as softly, the name floating into his mind, though he didn't know where it had come from. He just knew that the man in front of him was called Tom, and that he didn't need to know any more.

Tom smiled, then stepped back and dropped his arms. He picked up Remus' hand and twined the fingers with his, then took a step backwards and tugged. "Come with me, Remus," Tom said. "Come with me and I will give you what you most desire."

Remus almost let himself be tugged, but stopped. "Where are we going?" he asked, though as soon as he did he got the feeling that it was a trivial question and that the answer didn't matter. Tom's face didn't change beyond growing a trifle sadder that Remus hadn't immediately gone with him.

"A place where you can be happier," Tom told him. "A place where you won't have to hide what you are and how the moon calls you." With his free hand, he gestured towards the moonlight pouring into the clearing. "A place where you can let yourself be free, be rid of the shackles that society and you yourself have imposed upon you. A wonderful place."

"Why are you taking me there?" Remus asked, taking a step closer to Tom. "Why me, and not someone else? I'm happy enough where I am." And it was true, he was happy enough where he was, where his real body was lying next to Sirius on the bed in their flat. But that seemed so far away right now, a lifetime away, and Tom was here, gazing at him with soft eyes, and Remus took another step.

"You aren't as happy as you could be," Tom replied, a smile playing on his lips, as if he were very sure of himself. He tugged Remus forward once more, then let go of his hand. "You aren't as happy there as you could be with me. You are the one that was called here, Remus. You were called for a reason. Others call you Dark, but Dark and Light battle within you, and so you are Grey." Tom leaned forward and brushed a few errant strands of hair off Remus' forehead, slid an arm around his waist. "But I am Grey too, and it is only we of the Grey who are called to this place on these nights."

"I am Grey..." Remus repeated, vaguely aware that this was a dream and that it was really Sirius holding him close, not Tom, and that Remus really was Grey too.

"Yes," Tom said. "You and I are Grey, and we can only truly be happy with others like us." And with that, he leaned closer still and kissed Remus softly on the mouth. The kiss was soft and sweet, Tom's lips cool and smooth, and Remus closed his eyes, moving closer to Tom, his mind thinking of nothing but Tom's mouth and his hands, both now around Remus' waist and caressing him gently.

"Tom," Remus sighed when Tom finally broke the kiss. Tom smiled and pulled Remus closer to him.

"Join with me, Remus," he said, his lips close to Remus' ear, nipping the earlobe gently. "Say you'll join with me." His hands moved between their bodies, trailed lightly up Remus' chest. Their clothing had disappeared somehow, but Remus couldn't think about that, not when Tom was...when Tom was...

"Tom...!" Remus gasped, and Tom smiled, slowly leaning them down and back so that they were lying together on the moonlighted grass of the clearing.

"Join with me, Remus," Tom repeated. "Both of us will be stronger together than we are apart. And you want me, don't you?"

Remus nodded, his breath coming more shallowly now. He looked up and met Tom's bright green eyes and saw the desire in them, the desire for Remus to be there with him, and he had to close his eyes again.

"Come with me, Remus," Tom whispered, and the words seemed to have two meanings. "Come with me and you will find what you truly desire." Remus was under him now, with Tom's hands running up and down Remus' sides. "Come with me..." Tom whispered, and pushed himself forward.

"Tom..." Remus moaned. "Tom, oh...don't stop, please..."

"I'm not stopping," Tom replied, moving slowly. "But how am I to know what you want...unless you ask for it?"

Remus shivered. "More," he gasped out. "Faster. Please."

Tom lowered his head and smiled. "Of course," he said. He sped up the rhythm, Remus continuing to gasp and moan and writhe beneath him. "Come with me..." he whispered again.

And with a choked-off howl, Remus came, with Tom not long after. And after a few minutes, when their breathing slowed down and their bodies slowly stopped tingling, Tom rolled over so that he and Remus were side-by-side in the grass and holding each other close.

"Remus," Tom said softly, brushing a sweaty lock of hair out of Remus' eyes. "Remus."

"Tom?" Remus replied, opening his eyes again. "What is it, Tom?"

"Are you with me, Remus?" Tom asked, a hopeful glint in his light green eyes. "Will you be with me, forever? Will you embrace the Grey inside you and come be happy with me?"

For a moment, Remus didn't answer. But when he opened his mouth to speak again, his body seized up and darkness overtook him.

When he opened his eyes, he was lying next to Sirius in the bed in their flat, the waning moon about to set through the window. Sirius shifted closer in his sleep, and unthinkingly Remus shifted to accommodate him, their bodies fitting perfectly together.

That was where the dream always ended, and Remus wasn't sure he wanted to know what happened past it. None of it had been real, and maybe, just maybe, it would stay within the realm of dreams.