Her Wish

Her wish..

* * * * * * *

I have moods. Sometimes, I just feel lonely. I feel that I need someone around me, but that someone isn't there. So I dream. I dream all day long, about the one person I want so badly, the one I will never get.

Today was again one of those days.

The winterholidays have just ended and I'm having big trouble adjusting to schoollife again. I'm beginning to wonder why I used to like school. I really did. But now, after all these years, after all these dissapointments, I just don't see any clue whatsoever why I shouldn't quit. So I just walk, sit down and listen to boring teachers. I used to enjoy this, but not anymore. I seem to realise how important other things, mainly love, are in my life. School is just a tiny bit compared to love. But that love is the missing link in my 'happy' life.

I look at you all day, every time surprised by your angelic beauty. You're an ass, I know, everyone knows. But you're so gorgeous. Gorgeous and bloody popular, beloved, intelligent and you always seem to have a good time. We're in the same class o-so often, but you have ignored me for almost five years now. You don't even hate me. You just simply ignore me. As if I don't exsist. I'm nothing to you, when you're so much to me.

I enjoy looking at you, wondering how it would be if you'd kiss me. I feel your soft lips pressed hungrily against mine, but then I realise how stupid I am and that you will never ever do such a wonderful thing to me.

I get depressed.

There hasn't been anything in my entire life that I wanted so *damn* much as you. We're simply meant to be together, but you don't seem to notice. You don't notice me at all.

We had History of Magic together and the professor was just handing out our tests. My grade was good, but I'm used to very high grades in History, so I was quite dissapointed. I saw you, and how you looked casually at your grade and then resumed a conversation with one of your popular friends.

I sigh, while looking at your handsome body. It's always handsome.

"Mione? You okay?"

I nodded, my mind being occupied by the sight of someone's ass.

"Mione?"

Neville waved his hand in front of my face.

"Huh? What is it?" I responded, slightly irritated.

"You seem so distant lately, what's the matter? Still depressed about Ron?" Neville spoke with a concerned look on his face.

"No Nev, it's not Ron, don't worry. I've just been having a hard time coping with all the tests and stuff."

Neville didn't look convinced, but he let it slide and turned around to ask something.

And I just continue my staring, my wanting and my dreaming. My dreaming of you.

I giggle mentally, thinking of how you would react if I told it you to your face. Would you laugh? Would you ignore me even after that? Or would you kiss me? Definitely not the last thing.

But I truly wish that was how you would react.

I see you with other girls. Making then smile, making them feel loved. They react towards you as if you're a god. But I guess you are.

I did seriously try to get you out of my head, but this day was just so heavy on me. I didn't know why exactly, maybe my obsessive crush was turning into a obsessive heavy love. But then again, I'm obsessed already.

All I ever wished for was you, but I guess wishes never come true, including mine..