Death of a Fair One

Death of a fair one.

~*~*~

There is a demon inside of me. I know not how long it has been there but I suspect it was there from when I was very young. I know that it is a demon because of how it makes me feel. I hate everything when the demon is awake. Only one person could ever make me feel different, feel like I might be special, but that person is dead. I killed them...

I did not mean to. I swear. No, please do not hurt me; do not harm me! I did not mean to hurt them. I did not mean to hurt anyone. It was not my fault. I did not want to but it made me. The demon inside made me. It made me kill them. It made me...

It is not like I was ever a...murderer. Not even as a child. Not even when I served Voldemort. I would not kill. Never. But this demon has grown stronger. Feeding on my sadness. Feeding on my loneliness. Feeding on my despair. And my life has been full of all three. All the time. The demon is too strong. Too strong for me to contain.

The only way to stop it is for me to die.

I must stop it.

I must die.

I hate my existence.

All my life I have been loved, I cannot say otherwise. But the only one I wanted to love me never loved me, my father. He was too concerned with whatever else was going on around him to notice me. He was too afraid I would disappoint him. I never would disappoint you father. Never.

I love you.

I always loved you.

Why didn't you love me?

Why didn't you?

Why?

I must end this superficial reality. I must end my life before the demon awakens. I can feel it stirring inside.

It will wake soon.

I must die soon.

I have contemplated this task for weeks, but the death of the only one that made me feel special, her death at my hands confirmed it. I must die in order to repent my soul. I did not mean to hurt her. I did not mean to hurt Ginny. I did not mean to hurt the Weasley's. In fact I was always jealous of them. Always. They had a huge family, and they were happy. I was never happy. Never allowed to be happy. Always cold.

Despite how I acted as a child, I did not want to hurt anyone.

Potter, I am sorry.

Ron, I am sorry.

Hermione, I am sorry.

Fred, George, I am sorry.

Mr and Mrs Weasley, I am sorry.

Mother, I am sorry.

Father, I am sorry.

Ginny, I am sorry.

I am sorry for the pain I caused.

I am sorry for being how I was.

I am sorry for living.

I am sorry for surviving.

Forgive me.

Please...

*There is a loud bang and the limp body of Draco Malfoy falls onto the floor. Time itself appears to stop altogether as Lucius watches his son fall. Voldemort takes pride in this. He takes pride in the agonizing scream Lucius lets forth. Lucius cries. For the first time in a long time. He cries. The tears stream down his face and he whispers.

'I loved you Draco. I always loved you.'