Blood, Tears and Drowning Fears

Chapter 3: Love Floats

Hermione's hands flew up to cover her mouth as she saw the slim blond figure plunge into the dark lake, disappearing beneath the surface with a silent splash as a concentric pool of ripples marked the spot where he had jumped. She stared, her blood freezing in her veins, too shocked to move a muscle as the turbulence calmed and the black water closed over any sign of human life. The whole scene was so peaceful, so ethereal, like a waking nightmare...

"Oh god," she whispered, horrified.

She turned and raced out of the dorm, hurtling down the stairs and into the common room. Her face was pale and bloodless, and she ignored everyone, even Harry and Ron, as she clambered out through the portrait hole and dashed down the corridors leading out of Hogwarts castle.

The sharp cold wind sliced past her as she ran, an eerie, unintelligible echoing in her ears. Her eyes stung as she strained to see the lake, to make out even the slightest vestige of survival, the outline of a head breaking the seamless black surface, anything at all which said that Draco wasn't dead. Her heart was beating so furiously that she thought her ribs were going to burst — her legs ached from running across the uneven grass, but she didn't slow down; she couldn't remember ever running so desperately in her life. She felt so scared and helpless, very much like the way she felt in her first year when she saw Harry walk through the black flames into the unknown, or when she watched him take on the dragon during the Triwizard Tournament.

Please, she prayed fervently. Please, don't let him have drowned.

She reached the edge of the lake, panting deliriously, gasping for breath as she looked frantically around. Her heart sank as she saw nothing but the restless waves shimmering in the brilliant winter sunlight, and the glare hurt her eyes as she squinted hard to look for Draco — but she couldn't see him, she was too late...

Her foot snagged something on the ground; looking down, Hermione saw that it was one of Draco's shoes, which had been tossed on the grassy bank. Tendrils of fear and despair gripped her as she sank to her knees, feeling the hot sting of tears in her eyes, suddenly regretting all the things she had said and failed to say, wondering how, how in the world this could have happened, that Draco was—

"What are you doing, Granger?" came a familiar voice, sounding distant, as if speaking in a dream.

Hermione's head snapped up, her vision blurred by tears. She quickly wiped them away with the back of her hand, instinctively looking in the vague direction of the voice, and her eyes widened in utter amazement.

"Draco?"

Draco was sitting on a rock outcropping about twenty feet out in the lake, almost completely obscured by hanging vines, which grew magically throughout the year and framed the rocky ledge with drapes of moss-green. Draco was leaning casually against the boulder with his legs dangling over the ledge, his ankles in the water. His blond hair was wet, and it glistened golden as the sunlight fell obliquely across his delicate features, tingeing his pale complexion with a healthy glow. He was wearing a thin white shirt that clung tightly to him, almost translucent against his body.

Draco was eyeing Hermione incredulously. "What are you doing?" he repeated, looking genuinely perplexed by her strange behaviour.

"You're—You're alive?" Hermione sputtered, staring at him in disbelief as she rose.

"Most unfortunately, yes." Draco looked miffed. "Why shouldn't I be?"

Abruptly, the relief that flooded through her quickly changed to anger, and Hermione strode forward, getting her feet wet as the water lapped at her toes. Her face was flushed with fading anxiety and dawning outrage.

"What do you think you're doing, Malfoy?" Hermione shouted indignantly. "Are you insane?"

Draco looked nonplussed. "What? What are you talking about?"

"This! Jumping into the lake! Are you trying to kill yourself?" Hermione stamped her foot, glaring at Draco. She felt the tears welling up again as her unstable emotions raged. "You scared the hell out of me, you idiot! I thought you drowned!"

Draco stared at her, uncomprehending for a moment, before realisation slowly dawned across his face.

"You thought I drowned?" he asked quietly, looking pensively at her.

Hermione suddenly felt exhausted, physically and mentally. She slowly sat down at edge of the lake, blinking away the tears, not wanting to wipe her eyes with Draco watching her. A lone tear escaped and trickled down her cheek, leaving a trail of wetness down the side of her face, which shone like a thread of pearl in the sunlight.

"Yes," she said tiredly, too weary to keep up facades or pretences anymore. "I saw you from the window in Gryffindor Tower — I saw you jumping into the lake and I panicked and I thought you were going to drown, that's what you said you were afraid of, didn't you?"

Draco's expression was inscrutable. "I said I was scared of drowning, I never said I couldn't swim."

Hermione groaned and slapped her forehead. "Why is it always like this with you, Malfoy?" she snapped angrily, glaring up at him. At that very moment, she couldn't think of anyone she hated more. "Always trying to be so witty, so cryptic, so manipulative..."

"Hey!" Draco interrupted crossly. "I wasn't being manipulative. You jumped to conclusions yourself! You asked me what I was afraid of, I said drowning. I never said I couldn't swim, that was your assumption."

"A perfectly valid inference!" Hermione retorted, very annoyed. "What other reason would someone be scared of drowning than because he couldn't swim very well?"

"You think accidents can't happen? You think there haven't been instances of experienced swimmers drowning?"

Hermione fell quiet; she grudgingly conceded that Draco had a point. She suddenly realised that she was feeling cold; she drew her knees up to her chest and rested her head in her arms, closing her eyes. The anger and hatred within her suddenly drained away, leaving the relief that still lingered because Draco was alive, he was all right, her prayer had been answered and he hadn't drowned.

There was a soft splash of water, and Hermione looked up to see that Draco had hopped off the rock ledge and into the water. She imagined that it was freezing, but Draco wasn't shivering as he treaded water in the lake, taking a few moments to acclimatise himself to the temperature. Then he swam back to the grassy bank, towards her, and Hermione saw that he was an excellent swimmer, his arms flexing in firm strokes as he gracefully propelled his body forward and reached the edge in a matter of seconds.

He came out of the water and sat next to Hermione, but said nothing. Hermione stole a sidelong glance at him, noticing that he looked rather attractive with the wet look, his blond hair hanging damply by the side of his face, his cheeks slightly flushed with exertion, the contours of his body outlined by his wet shirt that clung to him. She wondered if he was cold, being wet and exposed to the wind at the same time.

The silence settled between them, but it was a calm sort of quietness, not hostile or awkward. They both just sat along the water's edge, their toes dipping into the lake, feeling the feeble warmth of the setting sun on their faces. Hermione secretly thought she'd have balked if anyone ever said before that watching the sunset with Draco Malfoy was romantic, but here with him now, she discovered that it wasn't an entirely unpleasant experience.

And she was glad he was alive. Truly.

Draco finally spoke quietly. "Are you still mad at me for scaring you, Hermione?"

Hermione glanced at Draco; this was only the second time he'd ever called her by her first name. He wasn't looking at her, but had his face tilted to the sun, his eyes closed.

She sighed. "You just gave me a horrid fright, that's all."

"I didn't mean to. I'm sorry."

Hermione turned and stared at Draco, incredulous. Sorry? She thought in wonderment. Draco Malfoy, saying sorry?

"Don't stare at me like that." Draco opened his eyes and met her gaze; his tone was not reproachful. "I'm perfectly capable of saying the S-word, although I only reserve it for special occasions. Nearly giving you a heart attack because I went swimming, as absurd as that may sound, qualifies as such."

Hermione actually smiled. Draco didn't have a bad sense of humour.

Draco took a deep breath, and continued, "I may be scared of drowning, but that doesn't mean I'm not going to swim." He looked into her eyes, and his expression was sincere and truthful. "In life, you've got to take chances sometimes."

Then he leaned over and kissed her.

Hermione blinked, startled; her mind went completely blank, and all she knew was Draco's lips on hers, kissing her firmly yet gently, with a tenderness she never thought possible from him. Her first impulse to shove him away instantly dissolved, as rational thinking swiftly melted and gave way to long-denied feelings. The coolness of his mouth quickly warmed as she leaned into his kiss, closing her eyes, her right hand reaching up to touch his cheek as she kissed him back. Hermione was only vaguely aware of Draco's arms going around her shoulders, pulling her close, one hand holding the back of her head as he kissed her thoroughly.

After an eternal moment, Draco finally pulled back. Hermione opened her eyes, feeling breathless, and stared into his pale grey eyes just inches away from hers, not knowing how to react. Her lips still burned from his touch, and she cast about for something to say, something intelligible, but nothing came to mind.

Draco bit his lower lip slightly, waiting in anticipation for Hermione to say something, wondering if she was going to slap him or kiss him again; from the torn expression on her face, either outcome was equally likely.

"Hermione...?" he started tentatively, watching her reaction closely.

"What?" Hermione felt rather light-headed at the moment.

"Aren't you going to say something?"

How about 'you're a damn good kisser'? Hermione was still dazed, her thoughts swimming incoherently; she wondered what possessed her to let Draco Malfoy kiss her like that, and why she was even evaluating his kissing skills right now. Or, 'what the hell did you think you were doing'? But that sounded so lame — it was pretty obvious what he was doing, even though he probably wasn't thinking, and neither was she.

"Well... not really," she finally confessed, with a self-conscious smile.

Draco quirked an eyebrow, mildly amused. "Not really? Hermione Granger, who has an opinion on anything and everything, is tongue-tied on this?"

Hermione blushed, then retorted, "I'll send you a five-page essay about it afterward."

"How about just another shot and we'll call it even?"

"Malfoy..." Hermione started warningly, giving him a pointed look.

Draco looked slightly disappointed. "Oh well, it was worth a try."

Hermione didn't like the offhandedness in his tone. She narrowed her eyes. "What, is this all just some game to you, Malfoy?"

Draco looked affronted. "No, it isn't."

"What is it then?" Hermione eyed him with a measure of distrust, and the question spilled from her lips. "Why me?"

Draco offered a sly grin, and his eyes danced with laughter. "Because I don't know many girls who would rush all the way from Gryffindor Tower to the lake just to see me swim."

"Very funny, Draco." Hermione couldn't suppress a smile. "But seriously..."

"All right, seriously." Draco's expression sobered. "How about because you're the most truthful girl I've ever met, and I value that quality in people. And because you bothered to remember what I told you, and actually came all the way down here to make sure I was all right. That's why."

Hermione felt almost as breathless as she had when Draco kissed her. She stared at him, almost unable to believe that he had actually said those words, something she'd have thought inconceivable just moments ago. A random thought occurred to her at that moment, and she thought of Ron's brother, Charlie Weasley. She'd never comprehended why he loved to work with dragons when there was so much danger tied up with the job, but now she understood, on a certain level. Wild, free spirits were among the most beautiful things to tread the earth, and taming the untamed brought a satisfaction like no other.

Draco's voice interrupted her musings. "Did you hear what I just said?"

Hermione snapped out of her thoughtful reverie. "Yes, of course I did." She smiled, a sincere, heartfelt smile that shone from within.

Draco smiled back, and Hermione realised that she'd never seen him smile that way before, without a hint of spite or malice twisting his lips. She got to her feet, dusting the grass off her skirt. Draco looked up at her, his pale grey eyes warmed by the sepia hue of the sky, reflecting traces of a smile that melted away his usual coldness.

"I have to go," Hermione said, looking at her watch. "Harry and Ron'll be wondering where I went."

"All right," Draco nodded, with a wry smile. "You'd better, before Potter comes along and sees me with you and hexes me. I don't have my wand, so a duel wouldn't favour me too much right now."

"Well, I'll see you." Hermione didn't know when, but she knew that she would. With a lingering backward glance, she turned away and started walking, her legs feeling slightly unsteady, and that wasn't entirely because they ached from running.

But it felt strange, and wrong, just walking away like that, ending things so abruptly when it was obvious that both of them hadn't quite said what they wanted to. She turned back, and saw Draco leaning against the trunk of a tree, watching her, an unreadable expression on his face.

She walked back to where Draco was standing — he looked surprised as she came near, although the warmth in his eyes was unmistakable. Hermione stepped close to him, tiptoed a little and kissed him lightly on the cheek, putting everything she wanted to say as succinctly as she could into that one gentle gesture. Then she smiled again, said a soft goodbye, and headed for Gryffindor Tower.

It still didn't feel altogether right, but at least it felt more complete.

Draco watched her until she turned a bend and disappeared from view. He stood where he was for a few moments more before walking over to stand at the edge of the lake again. The sun had almost fully set, and the presence of night gradually fell across the sky. The lake looked different, now even darker still, a sheet of black velvet stretching to the opposite shore.

But different wasn't necessarily bad.

Draco ran a hand through his hair, pushing his fringe out of his eyes.

Maybe they weren't that different at all. He hadn't changed since an hour ago, and neither had Hermione, but something between them had altered, and that made all the difference.

The night and the day, the dark and the light, and everything else in between.

There were always spaces in between, in the uncertain half-light after the sun had faded and the moon had yet to rise, vague transitions where it wasn't quite clear if it was dusk or dawn, where the similarities weren't quite distinguishable from the differences.

And shaking his head, Draco just smiled, then turned his back to the lake and walked away.

~fin.~