Tenderness

Tenderness

By Regret
 

         "WHAT AM IDOING!!" I scream aloud at myself, staring blankly at the half-packed suitcase lying open on the bed before me. Three years. Three years spent wakingup in his arms every morning. Three years spent wondering what I would do if HE ever left ME. And here I am, running out on him. On him. But...he's not who heused to be. Maybe he never really was. Lately, especially, there has been no give. Nothing, nothing but force and ice. No peace, no tenderness, no fun anymore.

Unbidden thoughts from the past come floating to the front of my mind…
 

* * * * *

"Oi!! Where do you think you'regoing??? HUH?" He says with that patented Malfoy smirk. "I'm notquite done with you yet!"

"But...I thought...What?" I stutter as confused as the day I was born.

"Look, I ... uh ... I'm sorry about your damn nose, all right? I just got carried away." As usual, I think.But I can't help but forgive him, at least internally. He looks so, well, innocent standing there face downcast, a slight blush to his fair cheeks."I really did come here to tell you something though. Something more important than our usual squabbles." He says it earnestly and soft, looking up at me through the fringe of too long hair.

"Oh really?!?" I say, wondering what alternate reality I just walked into and trying to bite down on hope."Is that why you punched me in the face?"

 
"HEY! You can't blame me forthat!!" Draco cries, his indignant face really is rather adorable. For a moment my mind almost forgets how we got here, and all it can think of is exactly how much I would like to...*right then, not thinking about that*

"I'd like to bloody hell well know whynot!!" I say instead, matching him pose for pose and tone for tone.

"Because…well just because!!! AND BECAUSE IS A DAMN GOOD REASON!!" He screams, face flushing red, causing me to wonder exactly what he is trying to say.

"What are you trying to say Malfoy, just fucking well spit it out all ready!!"

"What I am trying to say," He spits between clenched teeth "Is...is...is..." Then he just gives upon words and lunges for me. I'm almost bowled over by the impact of his lean body against my own. My knees quite practically buckle under me as I feel the sweet heat of his lips upon mine.

Oh how I have wanted this for *so* long,but now that it is here I can't even get my body to respond, let alone my mind!

Just as I begin to he pulls sharply back from me, the sudden loss of his body and heat knocking me ungraciously to the floor.

"Draco...?" I whisper, his temporary possession of my senses leaving me breathless and confused.

"Oh gods" Is all he manages and he looks about ready to vomit, his already pale skin turning a sickly gray shade, which, in truth, does nothing for the beautiful crystal orbs he calls eyes.

"Was it really that bad?" Imanage to get it out sounding halfway nonchalant as I drag myself up from the cold flagstones. Trying to exploit my height to the fullest I find that I still manage to beat him. But only by an inch, at best. Without thinking or desireto, I whimper "Please don't say you regret it, I don't think I could stand it."

One moment passes into two as he just stands there and blankly stares at me, his expression unreadable for there isnone. Defeated I turn away, only to find myself locked from behind in his tight embrace. Startled and uplifted by this most surprising turn of events, I turn to him and bury my face in the yielding flesh of his neck, quite afraid to meet his eyes.

My breath a gentle and fleeting caress against his neck and I feel his body begin to tremble. A slight moan escapes his generous lips as he slides down my body, landing harshly on the stones below. Without a word I join him, not at all sure what to do with myself, how to give him comfort. I force myself to meet his eyes, despite everything I still expect to see revulsion in their stormy depths. When I finally level my gaze on his I am shocked to find that revulsion is the far from what is swimming there.

"Will you..." He stops and tries to compose himself. When he speaks again his voice is low and husky (and quite undeniably sexy), a far cry from the cracked and worn tone of before."Will you just let me touch you? Ho-hold onto you?"

Without thinking twice I draw him into my embrace and say "You needn't ever ask. Ever. Do you...do you have any idea..." I stop as my voice breaks, desperately trying to find my words.But all I can find is pleasure. Pleasure in the warmth his body is giving mine(I never thought he would be so warm). Pleasure in the way his ragged puffs of breath caress my nipple through the thin fabric of my t-shirt. Pleasure in simply holding him, at being held back.

"I've wanted you too..." He whispers against my chest, voice slightly muffled by fabric and emotion. Shifting to look into my face I find myself lost in him. In the curve of his alabaster jaw, fine and sharp, like glass. Lost the lushness of his ripe and red mouth. Lost in the fathomless depths of his turbulent eyes. All the while wondering what is going on behind his closed doors. What he sees looking at me is a mystery. But whatever it is, he must like it. For he smiles, genuinely, and the stars come out to play.

"Come home with me tonight" He murmurs against my mouth, teasing me with the taste of him. Cinnamon and India spice. "Won't you?"

"Yes" I breathe as his lips find purchase against mine.

 

* * * * *

 
Amazing what such small words can forge,amazing what a chaste kiss can transform. Acceptance from denial. Dependence taking the place of loneliness. Furry melting into passion.

I went home with him that night. And never left. I kept my apartment to keep up appearances, more for us than for others,in truth. It was all happening so quickly. And I've woken every morning in his arms.

Without fail.

Without regret.

Until now.

* * * * *

Till The Day That IDie - Garbage

Holy Jesus

Holy Rock 'n' Roll

The more I gave to you the more you grew bored

And making love became the waging of war

No peace

No tenderness

No fun anymore