Six Months And I'll Be Unknown

I never thought I’d die alone

I laugh the loudest, who’d of known?

 

I remember when we were best friends, Harry Potter. We still are, I suppose. That’s what it’s all for, isn’t it? This whole damn scheme, the game of life. I’ve played it out this time.

 

I trace the chord back to the wall

No wonder it was never plugged in at all.

 

Famous Harry, celebrity Harry, Harry with the fucking scar on his forehead. You never really saw, did you? It was all ‘jealous’ Ron, ‘over reactive’ Ron. I was also the one to blame…I never cared all that much, you know. About the scar, and the glory.

 

I took my time, I hurried up

The choice was mine, I didn’t think enough.

 

Sure, sometimes I was jealous. I mean, what did you expect? You’ve got a vault full of gold, a world full of admirers, people hanging on your every word, your every action. Damn, you’ve even got your own ‘Harry Potter fanclub.’ But it’s not really all that. I’m scared, Harry.

 

I’m too depressed to go on

You’ll be sorry when I’m gone.

 

I’ve always been scared, ever since that first time when you went down to ‘fulfill your heroic duty’ like the whole world expected you to. Because they don’t see that you could die, any day, any minute. They don’t see the danger you’re in. And you don’t either. And Hermione. You think you’re untouchable? You’re living in a dream world, Harry.

 

I never conquered, rarely came

Sixteen just held such better days.

 

Then you and she went off into some magical paradise of your own, surrounded by your admirers, and you left me here. "We trust you, Ron," you said. "We need to you to take care of us." And I said, yeah sure. Why not?

 

Days when I still felt alive

We couldn’t wait to get outside.

 

It was never simple, even at school. I was always afraid that something was going to pop out of the bushes and eat you alive. Silly, huh? I don’t think so. "We trust you, Ron." Why? Why do you trust me? Why me? Why wouldn’t I turn on you just as easily? What about Peter Pettigrew? Why?

 

The world was wide, too late to try

The tour was over, I’d survived.

 

You know why, Harry? Because I’m your friend. Because even though you treat me life some cast off shoe, sometimes, I’m gonna stay here now, and I’m gonna do this thing, all for you and her. I’m gonna do this thing because I care about you, and all the things you’ve got left in this world.

 

I couldn’t wait till I got home

To pass the time in my room alone.

 

"Be our secret keeper, Ron. We need you to take care of us. We trust you, Ron." Well, I don’t trust me. I don’t have any delusions of grandeur. I’d crack. I’d break. I’d tell. And I’m not gonna let that happen to you, Harry. Because you trusted me.

 

I never thought I’d die alone

Another six months I’ll be unknown.

 

Did you know, when you asked me to do this? Did you know I wouldn’t make it? I can’t let myself think that of you. Maybe it’s true. Who cares? It doesn’t matter anymore. I did it, I played your game. And you can go on deluding yourself, and working your little miracles. It’s better, this way.

 

Give all my things to all my friends

You’ll never set foot in my room again.

 

Someday, they’ll be coming for me…but they won’t find me, Harry. I’m going to take myself away from this world, and all your secrets with me, out into oblivion, where those creatures will never find them. I’m doing it now, Harry. I didn’t get a chance to say goodbye. Do I care? I’m not sure.

 

I never conquered, rarely came

Tomorrow holds such better days.

 

I wonder if you’ll ever look back and remember me. I wonder if you’ll say, "Yeah, he was a decent guy."

The world won’t view me as a martyr. I know the story well enough by now. They’ll probably never know the truth. You’ll never tell them.

Or maybe you will.

But keep working your miracles Harry.

That’s what it’s all for.

Isn’t it?

 

I never thought I’d die alone…