What Lies Within

Chapter Three - Loved Ones Lost

Surprising enough, and to the vast relief of everyone who was sitting in the compartment, the curse that Peter had accidentally cast on James wore off within the next hour. As soon as James came back to whatever senses he had had before the curse, and being the only person not dressed in his school robes, he got dressed and sat himself (quietly) down again, casting a look around at his three friends. Peter was doing a crossword puzzle, his tongue between his teeth in concentration, his blond hair falling into his eyes so that every now and then he would have to blow it away. Remus was dozing with his arms crossed across his chest, snoring softly; every time the train would jostle him, he would grunt and mutter something about not wanting any peas thanks, turn his head in the opposite direction, and fall asleep again. Sirius was staring moodily out the window, his eyes out of focus, a slight frown playing on his handsome features, although the frown had considerably lessened since James had stopped singing his horrible ode to Lily.

By this time, the sky was starting to darken as the time slipped toward six. The countryside had now turned to dense, dark forest, but where the sky was visible, it was scattered with faint stars. Sirius had stopped seeing human dwelling a long time past, at around the sixty-ninth verse of "Oh Lily Flower" (which should give you some idea of how long the ode was). Suddenly the lanterns flared into life, spreading warm light throughout the compartment.

"We must be getting close now," James commented, imitating Sirius and peering out the window. Peter just nodded, being engrossed in his puzzle, and Remus muttered something about yes, they were getting close to Dublin and should be arriving there soon. Sirius shot him a weird look, but noticing that Moony was still sleeping, just rolled his eyes and returned his gaze out the window.

"I should bloody well hope so," he said, but it was with a considerably lighter tone than the mood James perceived on his visage. "I'm starving. I wonder where the witch with the trolley is this year? You don't think thy got rid of her?"

The train shook slightly, disturbing Remus, who muttered something like no, he still had the old mare in the stable just over there. Everyone, including Peter, gave him a weird look, but Remus took no noticed of them, as he was still sound asleep.

"But without replacing her? I find that a tad hard to believe," James said, running his fingers through his already extremely messy hair (this was mostly because of the little interpretive dance that James had added at around the hundred and third verse of "Oh Lily Flower"). "Maybe she's sick?"

"Who knows?" Peter voiced, finally looking up from his puzzle to peer out the window just like Sirius and James. "And who cares? I can see the castle!" he added excitedly, throwing down his puzzle and jumping up to press his chubby face against the cool glass of the window. The train swayed again and Peter had to brace himself to stay standing and Sirius and James had to grab the edges of their seats. Remus grunted and muttered that he couldn't possibly eat another carrot, thanks, but maybe his rabbit would enjoy it.

"For a guy who craves meat once a month, he sure mentions it a lot in his sleep," Sirius observed, as Remus went on to state that his mother could cook rather scrumptious asparagus and that his uncle was partial to eating Brussels sprouts raw. Peter made a face and nodded his assent.

"Ew - raw Brussels sprouts? Gross," James intoned, shaking his head with a grin.

"Pass the Caesar salad dressing please," Remus requested quite clearly.

"Moony, please just wake the hell up."

Sirius gave Remus a kick and Remus snapped awake yelling, "Those marshmallows aren't for pickling!"

The whole compartment fell into silence, everyone staring at a panting Remus. Realizing what he had just yelled at the top of his voice, Remus went red and hung his head. After a moment's silence, he looked up and shrugged.

"Well, they're not."

Everyone burst out laughing as the train slowly came to a stop and there was the sound of students preparing to disembark from the train. Remus jumped to his feet and fled the compartment, calling something about having to mind the crowd over his shoulder (Remus being a prefect of course). Shaking their heads and still laughing slightly, Sirius, James, and Peter all got ready to exit their compartment and join the hustle and bustle of the corridor.

A sea of black met the eyes of Sirius Black, and using his height to see over everyone's heads, he tried to spot his lost girlfriend in the crowd, to no avail. There were a lot of people wearing hats; this was certainly a hindrance, especially since Tessa wasn't all that tall to begin with. Telling himself that he would at least see Tessa at the feast in fifteen minutes time, Sirius gave up for the time being and amused himself with trying to bump into as many people as he possibly could.

As always, the horseless carriages were waiting for them and they were filling up fast with students, all eager to get out of the night and into the interior of the Great Hall, with its warmth and delicious food. The three friends quickened their pace, hoping to get a carriage to themselves. As they approached what appeared to be an empty carriage, Sirius noticed something out of the corner of his eye that made him turn and look.

Not two feet away stood a girl with long black hair shivering, staring at the place where the horses would have been on a normal carriage. She was clutching her cloak to her as though it was the only thing keeping her in the realm of the living. The girl's light blue eyes caught the light and Sirius was struck with sudden recognition. Pausing for a moment, Sirius put a hand on the girl's shoulder.

"Raven?"

The girl snapped her head around to see who was touching her. She shrunk away from his touch as though it burned her and hesitated before looking up into his face. As soon as she did, the girl relaxed and sighed with relief.

"Oh, it's only you, Sirius. I thought... but no. How was your summer?" she stammered, a slight smile paying on her lips.

"Not bad, thanks. I just wanted to ask you something. Do you mind?" Sirius asked, motioning that she should come to the carriage with him and his friends. Sirius thought he saw something fall in her features for a second, but when he looked closer, he noticed no change. By this time, Remus had joined them, having seen the first years safely off the train and to Hagrid. Remus smiled at the girl and beckoned for them both to come sit down. The girl hesitated again, but started walking with Sirius nonetheless.

"So how was your summer?" Sirius asked, letting Raven enter the carriage before him.

"It was alright, I guess." She shrugged as Sirius took his seat across from her. It was rather cramped in the carriage with five people, but with James, Remus, and Raven all in the same seat and Sirius and Peter in the other, it was manageable. "So what was it that you wanted to ask me?"

Sirius thought he heard some bitterness in the way that she had posed the question and by the look on Remus's face, so had he, but the girl's face gave nothing away. So Sirius shrugged and asked what was on his mind.

"You haven't seen Tessa at all, have you?" he asked casually, trying not to sound too worried. "It's just that I haven't been able to find her all afternoon and I wanted to give her something."

Raven frowned and shook her head, much to Sirius' dismay.

"No, I haven't seen hide or hair of her since the end of school last June. I though she was with you this afternoon. I'm sorry," she added noticing the expression on Sirius' face.

Sirius shook his head.

"It's nothing. I'm sure she's just in another carriage or... something..." Sirius trailed off into silence.

The rest of the ride up to the school passed in silence, complete and awkward. The carriage smelled faintly of hay and the only thing Sirius could hear above the creaking of the wheels was the beating of his heart. It beat a fast tattoo against his ribs, making sitting still difficult. This was usually the way he felt before exams, Quidditch matches, detentions... it was not the way he normally felt before returning to the school he loved so. He was usually excited, filled with anticipation and eagerness, not with anxiety and worry. He was even much more aware of his body than usual, aware of the way his heart was beating, of the ringing in his ears, of how his hands were shaking...

Where is Tessa?

Yes, that was the question. Where was Tessa? Sirius wished he knew. He clenched his hands into fists to make them stop shaking, but it didn't help much. All it did was make his knuckles white in garish contrast with the skin of the rest of his hands. Trying to take his mind off everything, he peered out the window. The darkness outside was not inviting. It made him think of the gloom that was filling him, and the dread...

Suddenly the carriage jolted to a halt in front of the steps leading up to the front doors. Sirius flung the door open and climbed out, followed closely by the four others. There were students from the carriages before theirs climbing the stairs; some had already reached the top and disappeared from view inside the enormous Entrance Hall. Sirius found himself envying the first years coming across the lake in their little boats, seeing Hogwarts for the first time on the cliff, as he took step after step upwards towards the front doors. It was a perfect evening for crossing the lake; the slim moon was shining brightly enough to make the shiny surface of the lake appear like a sea of dancing light.

As he reached the top, the others gathered around and behind him, Sirius slipped inside into the warmth of the Entrance Hall. Everything was as he remembered it to be; the high ceiling out of sight above them, the marble staircase rising up to higher floors, the soft candle-lit ambiance... Sirius breathed a sigh of relief. Somehow, with all the confusion surrounding Tessa's whereabouts, he had thought that things would be different at Hogwarts, but how could they be? Things had been pretty much the same there for a thousand years.

Following the cascade of students disappearing into the Great Hall, Sirius turned to ask Raven another question... but she had gone. Instead there were only Remus, James, and Peter, all looking eager to sit and eat. Sirius smiled; he shouldn't have expected her to stay with them long. She was in Ravenclaw after all and probably had friends from that house to catch up with. Shrugging, Sirius entered the Great Hall.

The ceiling tonight was plastered with brightly shining stars, winking down upon the five long tables. The four friends, along with all the other Gryffindors, headed past all the other tables to their own by the far wall and chose seats at the end closest to the staff's table. They had just taken their seats when Sir Nearly Headless Nick floated over to them.

"Welcome back, welcome back, young sirs," he greeted as he came to rest between Remus and Peter (who both edged their chairs away from him to give him more room). "I hope you all had very enjoyable summers!" He looked around at the four friends, smiling broadly.

They all muttered that they had indeed had agreeable summers.

"Wonderful, wonderful, and ready to get back to learning, no doubt? The final year can be gruelling!"

There was a general mumbling of sorts at this comment, but Nick didn't seem to notice. He was oddly happy for someone dead, even by Nick's standards.

"What do you do in the summer times, Nick?" Peter asked curiously, toying with his fork absentmindedly.

"Oh, nothing of consequence. I just visit other ghosts, attend parties... that sort of thing. Nothing really interesting to a living being, of course." Nick was still beaming at them all as though they had all just done him a great favour.

"Nick," Sirius started, but he was cut off by Remus, who motioned to the doors of the hall.

Through them walked Professor McGonagall followed closely by a stream of small students, all shivering (though probably from nerves and not from the cold) and looking around with wide-eyed curiosity. Sirius saw one little boy indicate the ceiling to his friend. The boy had mousy brown hair and was wearing thick glasses. His friend was an extremely short blond girl with little freckles spotting her pale face. Sirius smiled; he still remembered how scared he'd been when he'd first walked into the Hall and was faced with a school full of students...

And a hat.

For Mr. Odeas Filch, the caretaker, was bringing forward a mouldy looking wizard's hat on a stool. He placed it down in front of the new students and backed up into a corner, wheezing as he went. Mr. Filch must have been nearing ninety years of age and his arthritis was getting worse by the day; this taken into consideration, it was no surprise that he was a crotchety old fart who hated the students with all of his mean little heart.

The whole Hall went quiet in anticipation. All eyes were directed at the patched hat sitting alone on the stool in front of the entire school. Suddenly a rip near the brim opened wide like a mouth and the hat began to sing in a loud, clear voice.

"It was one thousand years ago

In the golden age of old

There lived four wizards of renown

Whose story is well told.

These last were our proud founders four

Who, with a common aim,

Laid the brickwork for this school

Bringing them to fame.

First there was brave Gryffindor,

Whose courage knew no ends,

Then followed cunning Slytherin,

With whom he was good friends.

Next came gracious Ravenclaw,

Whose beauty was astounding,

After her came Hufflepuff,

With generosity abounding.

Now this quartet of comrades

Though their goals were all the same

Ran into some troubling times

When it came to a name.

At first they thought to name the school

After one of them

But who should be the chosen one,

From whom the name should stem?

After many arguments

That shook their kitchen floor

They decided that not one of them

Should be the name they swore.

Now Hufflepuff had a predicament

With her sweet piglet dear,

None of them could seem to fix

The poor pig's problem drear.

Suddenly, one autumn day,

As they stood by its sty,

Slytherin had an idea,

Which he considered sly.

'Let's name the school after this pig's

Stubborn ailment weird

Be sure that no one will forget

Our special school revered!'

And so the name of Hogwarts stayed,

And kids from all around

Came to this school to learn their craft

And be filled with knowledge sound.

So, here I am, a pleasant hat,

Just plop me on your head,

Don't tell me where I ought to be,

I'll tell it to you instead."

The whole hall erupted into applause as the Sorting Hat finished its song and once again became an inert chapeau.

"Get into a nice line, now!" called Professor McGonagall to the first years. They immediately obeyed her and she retrieved from somewhere (Sirius didn't see where, as he was too busy punching James back for randomly jabbing him in the ribs) a scroll and unrolled it with a flick. The end bounced onto the floor and rolled to the feet of the nearest first year, who looked scared at the prospect of maybe having to hand it back to Professor McGonagall. Professor McGonagall, however, didn't ask the student for the end of the scroll back, but cleared her throat instead and read off the first name.

"Thomas, Allen!"

The boy with the mouse-brown hair and glasses stumbled forward nervously, picked up the hat, sat on the stool, and pulled the hat on over his head. And over his head was right; the hat was so big and the boy's head so small that the brim of the Sorting Hat was sitting on the boy's shoulders. The silence that ensued was complete.

"Taking its sweet time, isn't it?" Sirius muttered, but James gave him another jab in the ribs. Sirius, thoroughly peeved now, jumped on his friend and the following scrimmage lasted until they noticed the look that Professor McGonagall was giving them. Trying vainly to straighten their robes again, Sirius and James settled into their seats just in time to hear the Sorting Hat's pronouncement.

"Gryffindor!"

The whole of the Gryffindor table exploded with the sheers of the students already seated. As Thomas Allen took his seat, Peter grudgingly handed Remus five galleons; on the train they had made a bet on who would get the first student of the year. Peter thought it would be Hufflepuff again, as it had been for the last three years, but Remus said he had a feeling that they would be lucky this year. And, of course, Remus had won.

The Sorting continued with "Blake, Gloria" who became instantly a Slytherin. "Delaney, Matthew" became the first Ravenclaw, and "Fetter, Heather" became the first Hufflepuff. "Harvey, Jonathan" joined the Gryffindor table as did "Herrington, Mona," "Kelly, Jill," and "Lomax, Katherine." "Puttik, Lina" ran to sit at the Ravenclaw table joined later by "Puzti, Charles." Hufflepuff gained "Queay, Bethany" and "Maltby-Ingersoll, Jayden." Slytherin acquired "Smith, Logan," "Truwitt, Allison," and "Upshaw, Norman." Finally only one student was left. The blond-haired girl with the pale face and the freckles stood shivering alone in front of the Sorting Hat.

"Zidane, Hillary."

Closing her eyes, Hillary walked determinedly up to the hat and put it on her head, sitting on the stool at the same time. The Sorting Hat nearly engulfed her shoulders, too, she was so small. Sirius heard Allen Thomas muttering, "Please be Gryffindor, please be Gryffindor!" Sirius smiled and looked back to the girl. After another thirty seconds of deliberation, the hat made its decision.

"RAVENCLAW!"

Hillary pulled the hall off her head and ran to the Ravenclaw table, throwing a glance over at the crest-fallen Allen as she went. Sirius looked over and saw Raven greet Hillary with a warm pat on the back. Sirius turned back to his own table.

"It's alright," Remus told Allen, who looked on the verge of tears. "You'll have classes with the other houses. It's not like you won't see her again." Thomas nodded, sniffed and wiped his eyes on the sleeve of his robes.

"So, Nick," Sirius started again, his question directed at the ghost still floating between Remus and Peter, "why is it that you're-" but Remus cut him off again, motioning to the Head table.

Professor Dumbledore had gotten to his feet and the chatter that had been filling the Hall immediately disappeared. Professor Dumbledore smiled around at his students in an imperious sort of way. Sirius subconsciously cast a glance over the rest of the table. He found few changes.

Professor McGonagall, the Head of Gryffindor, who was sitting on Dumbledore's right, was looking just as stern as ever. Professor Slughorn, the Head of Slytherin, who was sitting on Dumbledore's left, was just as round and jovial as ever. Professor Flitwick was looking just as short as ever, Professor Sprout was looking just as fly-away as ever, and Professor Kettleburn was looking just as ravaged as ever. The only change Sirius could see was a teacher sitting on Professor Vector's right.

The woman was thin and extremely pale. Her hair was short and spiked and it shone blue-black in the candlelight. She wore black makeup around her eyes and wore black lipstick. From where Sirius was sitting, he could see many piercings glittering upon her face. Around her neck she wore a collar of black leather with tiny steel spikes sticking out of it. Her robes, thought traditionally black like all the other teachers', were elaborately decorated with lace, ribbons, and chains. The collar of her robes was high, giving her the appearance of a vampire. From what Sirius could see under the table, she wore black leather boots that reached her knees and were adorned with steel buckles and leather straps. As Sirius watched, she turned her head in his direction, possibly looking directly at him, and he noticed with a shock that her eyes were purple.

"Well, here we all are for yet another wondrous year of learning!" Dumbledore said cheerfully, clapping his hands together. Sirius's eyes snapped back to the Headmaster. "To our new students, welcome! And to our old faces, welcome back! There are many things I would like to say, but they can wait until we are all watered and fed. Ergo, tuck in!"

"Here, here!" shouted Sirius and James as the feast magically appeared before them on the golden plates and platters. It was around ten minutes before anyone could get in a word through all the stuffing of the faces.

"So anyway," Sirius started for a third time, brandishing a chicken leg at Nearly Headless Nick, "why are you in such a happy mood? And don't give me some bull about it being the beginning of the school year."

Nearly Headless Nick beamed at being asked such a question, something none of them could understand until he supplied his answer.

"The Headless Hunt, which you all know I've been trying to join since I died, has sent me a letter saying that they are finally going to consider my application! Isn't that wonderful?" Nick was practically bobbing with excitement.

"That is wonderful, Nick," Remus said, swallowing his mouthful of potatoes. "Hopefully they'll realize that one doesn't have to be completely headless to belong to the Headless Hunt!"

"Quite so, young Lupin!" Nick exclaimed and floated off down the table muttering something about it being about time, yada, yada, yada.

"Um, that's not quite right there, Moony," Sirius intoned. "Wouldn't you have to be headless to belong the Headless Hunt? Isn't that the whole point of calling it the Headless Hunt?" He took another bite of his chicken leg.

"Yes, I know," Remus agreed, spooning broccoli onto his plate. "I was just trying to make Nick feel better. Personally, I don't think he'll get in. And why would he want to? The Headless Hunt is slightly random, isn't it?"

"Well, I guess they all need something to occupy themselves with for eternity, don't they?" James posed thoughtfully. "I mean, it's not like they have a limited time to do anything."

"I think it would get boring after a while," Peter said. "Just imagine, an eternity chasing after your own head!" Everyone laughed and continued eating.

"Um - excuse me?" Allen asked timidly.

"Yes?" Remus turned to look at the little boy.

"Is it really true that we'll have classes with the other houses?" he asked in a worried tone. "It's just that Professor MacGrinable-"

"McGonagall."

"Yes, her. Well, she said that we'd have classes with our own houses. She said, 'Your house will be like your family.'"

"Yes, but there are classes with other houses, you're just with your house at all times, too."

"Oh."

At that moment, the dinner melted from the plates and the desserts appeared. Conversation was kept to a minimum as everyone enjoyed their sweets. Unfortunately, the meal ended some twenty minutes later and the babble started up again, until Professor Dumbledore again got to his feet.

Remus stole a glance at Sirius; he was looking in a good mood and seemed, in light of the feast, to have forgotten his worries about Tessa. For now, anyway...

"Now that we have all lost ourselves in our delicious feast, it is time for some quick announcements before I send you all off for bed.

"This year, I'm glad to say, we have once again found a replacement for our old Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher. This year, the post will be filled by Professor Carey, who has graciously agreed to take time out from her busy schedule to teach for a year." Dumbledore motioned to the Goth teacher, who got to her feet to polite applause.

"Next, Mr. Filch has asked me to remind you that you are not permitted to use magic in the corridors and that frog-spawn soap is to stay out of the bathrooms." Here, Dumbledore's mouth twitched and Sirius got the distinct impression that he was trying hard not to smile.

"New students should know," continued Dumbledore, "that the forest in the school grounds is strictly out of bounds, as is the Astronomy Tower this year because of the acts being - er - performed there."

At this, Sirius, James, Remus, and Peter all burst out laughing, as did a number of other students.

"Now that all the pleasantries are out of the way," Dumbledore continued, raising his voice to be heard over the lingering laughter, "we must now move on to more grave matters. Last week, there was an incident involving a student here at Hogwarts."

This caught Sirius's attention. Though he was still chuckling at Dumbledore's description of what was going on in the Astronomy Tower, his full attention was now back on the Headmaster.

"As I'm sure you are all aware, there are forces gathering here in Britain that are less than desirable in a society. They are evil forces, led by one man. These forces, as I will refer to them, made an attack last Sunday. The Ministry has asked the papers not to publish this event, as it would cause mass panic, and the Minister for Magic himself has specifically requested that I not mention it here tonight. However, this incident involves more than one student here. It affects all this student's friends, the students who knew this student, all the teachers who taught this student, and the overall moral of this school. Therefore, it is my conclusion that you should all be told what has happened. Last Sunday, these evil forces attacked the family of one of the students here, killing every member of that family present at the time. It is with deepest regret that I inform you all that Tessa O'Riley is dead."