Amen

I lay awake every night, feeling the thick blanket press against my diaphragm. There is a woman I hardly know curled up beside me. She is a stranger to me, and yet, I am married to her, and she was the one who gave birth to my two beautiful children. They are at my old school, following in my footsteps, living up to the reputation I had left for them. I fulfilled my life dream earlier than I thought I would. I should be happy. But I'm not.

A forest fire
Nibbles at your veins
Crawls up your arm
Runs away with your mind
And burns dry thoughts like leaves
Amen

I'm living a lie. That's all my life has ever been. I had to be the perfect one. The smart one. The one who makes a difference with his life. Once Bill left the school as Head Boy and Charlie as Quidditch captain, Mum made it quite obvious she wanted me to out-do at least one of them. So with my brothers and sister gone living their lives in happiness, living God knows where, I'm stuck in this living hellhole. I'm trapped with these thoughts, and no one to share them with. Well, there was one person.

Eyes stare up
But something's in the way
In the Bible only angels have wings
And the rest must wait to be saved

Oliver. Oh, sweet Oliver. He was my escape, my release. The first time he caught me crying was in first year. He said nothing and just took me into his arms, holding me, shielding me from the pain. We became closer than most people thought. We loved each other. It started out as a brotherly love, but by the fifth year, we were steady lovers. All the girls--Oliver's idea for a cover up. We set up the scene between my now wife and myself, making sure Ginny saw. My wife had no idea what was going on and still doesn't. And I did it all for him. I was mad for him. He was my soul mate.

A dry tongue
Screams at the sky
But the wind just breathes words in
As a strange bird tries to fly
Amen

But I sent him away. Seventh year, he made me chose between him, my golden angel, and the lies Penelope convinced me I wanted as my life. She convinced me I was in love with her, and that without her I would be incomplete. She is much like my mother in convincing people. He wanted to show the world his love for me, but I was a fool and didn't want to be the way I am. He took my hands and begged for me to make the right decision. I chose the lies and felt our bond break as he threw down my hands and stomped out of my life.

Pieces of us die everyday
As though our flesh were hell
Such injustice, as children we are told
That from God we fell

If I could do it over again, I would. I'd right my wrongs and spend my life with him. Sometimes I wonder if I did something in a past life that would make this happen. But what could I have done that would curse me in such a way? My wife tries to re-spark a romance between us, that was only a lie to begin with, and my children come home each summer with stories of Quidditch and mischief that only make my longing for Oliver deeper. My dreams bring a mixed relief when I can sleep, in which Oliver comforts me, and tells me it will all be okay.

Where are my angels?
Where's my golden one?
Where is my hope
Now that my heroes are gone?

I wish the blanket would crush me. I can no longer live like this, trapped like a wild beast, but instead of steel, my cage is made of lies. I hurt my only love beyond redemption. I don't deserve to live any longer. I long for Death's cold embrace.

Some are being beaten
Some are being born
And some can't tell
The difference anymore
Amen

Oliver Wood paid the delivery owl for his paper. He laid it on the table, while he poured himself a cup of tea.

He sat down and shook open the paper, scanning the front page. Soon, he was leaning over the paper, his throat tightened, his tea forgotten.

Death in the Ministry

Percy Weasley (34), our beloved
Minister of Magic and the youngest
to ever hold that title committed
suicide in his home last night.
His wife is quoted saying "I
don't understand. He had nothing to
die for!" He will be greatly missed.
Services will be held...

Oliver put down the paper, unable to read anymore.

"Oh Percy," he whispered to the air, his eyes filling with tears, "I'm coming."