Crushed at Sixteen

A concerned voice drifts through the curtains of my four-poster bed:

"Ron? Are you all right?"

While I know Seamus means well, I feign sleep. I don't want to answer questions right now. I'm sure he's wondering why I was so upset. I'd wonder too if someone had run through the common room like he had been bitten by a Doxy only to hide in his bed for the next few hours.

He sighs and I can hear him crawl into bed. Not too much later, the heavy breathing, or loud snoring in Neville's case, of my three roommates fills the room. Harry's not in his bed... he's probably still in the common room. With her. My fingers clench the pillow in a moment of rage as what my best friend has done hits me again.

He had known.

That bastard.

Harry Potter, my best friend and the Boy-Who-Lived. He's apparently not content with being the most famous 16-year old wizard in the world. It doesn't matter that he has a Gringotts vault filled with Galleons and Sickles. No, nothing short of reaching into my soul and crushing my heart would satisfy him.

He had known. Dammit. He had FUCKING known!!

**** On the train ride to school, earlier that year ****

I watched with a grin as Hermione left the compartment. Only when the door closed behind her did I turn my eyes away. I was still in shock, good shock mind you. But it's not everyday that the girl you like tells you she thinks that she is "in love with you".

Harry knew of course. He is- was- my best friend and we told each other everything. He knew that I loved her, and as soon as I was sure that Hermione would be gone for awhile, I filled him in on what had transpired over the summer.

"... and she told me that she loved me," I finished with a smile.

"Ron, that's fantastic! I'm so happy for you," He replied ecstatically.

And for a moment I believed him. He would be happy for the two of us.

**** Back to reality ****

The tears rise again as I think of how much my life has changed after that. We had always been comfortable around each other, but after our declarations of love had been spoken, Hermione and I were inseparable. Simple things made Lavender and Parvati "awww" from the other side of the common room... like when we held hands or I stroked her hair. Harry had smiled at us, and I thought that this was heaven. I had everything I wanted in my arms. Nothing could make my world go wrong.

But of course, it did. Teenage love always goes wrong.

I noticed things had changed when she would pull away from my touch. How he would look at me with guilt in his eyes. I should have placed the signs together sooner. I should have known. But I was happy being ignorant; I had my love, and nothing could take that away from me.

Except for Harry.

Losing my fight with my emotions, I made my way to the bathroom to wash my face. The dormitory is dark and quiet; I hadn't even noticed that Harry had at some point gone to bed. He's sleeping as peacefully as the rest of them.

Bastard.

**** Three hours previously ****

"Ron... I need to tell you something."

Harry looked upset. I let him drag me into an empty aisle in the library.

He took a few breaths and looked down at my feet when he started to actually speak.

"Um... you know that you're my best friend and all. So I- I have to- it's your right to know."

Uh oh. Did NOT sound good.

"Okay... then tell me." My voice quavered a little bit. Already I was worried about what would come out of those lips.

"I kissed Hermione."

Amazing how three words hurt so much.

He let out a breath of relief, as if a weight had been released from his shoulders.

While the weight might have left him, it landed right on me. Hard. And I suddenly had difficulty breathing.

Still not looking at me, Harry went on to explain that it had just happened. He hadn't meant to do it; he would never intenionally hurt me like that.

My eyes were already filling up with tears, so the daggers I shot him weren't as effective as I had hoped them to be. I didn't really buy the "I fell on her lips" story.

"Why?"

He had the audacity to look confused. "Why what?"

"Why would you do this to me? I thought you were my friend."

And I left my former-best friend in the library to search out the other guilty party.

**** Back to reality ****

Wow. I look horrible. As I get some water to rinse my eyes, I can hear Hermione's protests in my head.

"It was an accident. He... yes. He kissed me. But I just stood there. I- I didn't kiss him back. You mean so much to me; I would never do that to you Ron. I swear."

But she had. And so had he. Harry had betrayed me. Hermione had betrayed me.

The man looking back at me in the mirror is so different then the one I had looked at earlier that morning. That Ron had been happy and carefree. Now I'm bitter and friendless. Alone in the world.

Damn that Harry Potter.

The next few days go by in a whirl. Even the teachers seemed to notice the tension that hangs between the three of us.

At least they had the decency to look embarrassed. Upset even, that I wanted nothing to do with either of them.

I let out a soft sigh.

Maybe one day I'll forget this pain in my heart. I'll look back at this and laugh... how stupid was I to think that I was in love at sixteen?

But right now... this pain is all the emotion I have.