Snow Kisses

He was always as cold as ice, his cool reserve had never been broken. I had been the same way, but with one kiss he had melted me, he said I melted him too. We were never expected to be together, I never thought of him as my type, but fates play their part, and I thank them for that this time. I can't really say we hated each other, I doubt we had ever even had a conversation pass between us. In other words...we didn't acknowledge each other. But when I saw him at Harry's funeral, just as sad as the rest of us, my heart went out to him. I had never known that they had been so close, I will never know just how close they were, but what made me walk to him was pure empathy. I knew what he was going through, and when I looked into his eyes I could feel it in full force. When his cold grey eyes locked with my own it was as if an ocean of sadness had settled upon my soul. He shook his head and looked back down to the ground. Immediately I walked forward. I pulled him to me in an embrace, and he let me.

He never really got to the point where he would stay with me. He would always give me a light kiss and go about his normal life. He said he was never normal after he had really met me, not just known me, but really met me. He said he could never go back to being normal again. He always knew what to say. But in truth, I really couldn't be normal. He was always on my mind. His cool touch on my warm skin, the way he hadn't rushed me into anything. He said I was his blushing virginal maid, he had that classic voice, and when he spoke like that, I could imagine myself in the renaissance, still in his arms of course. He had one name for me, Cheri, he said he always loved French. He said a lot of things. He loved to talk, but never of himself, always of his likes, and the things around him. Contrary to popular belief, he was in no means egotistical.

He once told me that he was afraid of being alone, that he always had been. He said that I was wonderful to keep the solitude away from him. He said I was wonderful. He was always complimenting me. He told me I was beautiful in every way it was possible for anything to ever have been beautiful. He said a lot of things like that, but he always stopped himself short and corrected himself, telling me I was beyond comparison, that I could put any of them to shame. He showered me with gifts and compliments. He never got that I only wanted him. I only told him once, I think he understood, but it was far too late.

I told him when I found him on the grounds. I found him already half dead, he was in a pile of red snow. In his hand was a muggle device I quickly recognized. He was holding a pistol, about the size of his hand . He had shot himself in the stomach. It was then he told me he loved me, that he always had, and that I had melted him, I had made him feel more then anyone else ever had. I wasn't entirely sure that was a good thing. I blamed myself for him feeling there was no way out. But he consoled me, he consoled me, he was dying and he consoled me. I offered to fix it, but he turned me down. He told me not to miss him, not to hurt because of him. I told him everything then. I told him how much I loved him, how I had always only wanted him, how kissing him had melted me and made me feel everything there was to feel in the world. I told him how kissing him was like kissing snow, it always fades away to nothing, leaving you with only memories and the traces left on your lips. He smiled at me then, he told me that when ever I missed him, to kiss the snow. Then he died. Those were his final words. I didn't cry for him, I knew he would be happier where ever he was now. But the next night I walked out into the snow in my night gown, holding my jacket closed, and I kissed the snow. Only one tear left my eye, one tear for him and the snow kisses. I stood there for hours kissing the snow, until I felt myself go numb. It was then that I pulled out the gun, I had taken it from his hand the night before, just as I gave him one last kiss. I put it to my head and fell down into my own pooling blood. I was dead in an instant. No matter what they say, I am not going to be with him, I am not following him to his grave. I am going to kiss the snow for all eternity.