I Can't Promise You the Stars

Chapter 2

"So that's where you were all afternoon in Hogsmeade!" Ron exclaimed that afternoon in Divination. "Buying Hermione gifts..."

"Ooooo!" said Harry sarcastically. "The truth unfolds... I still can't find your lifeline..." He paused, flipped through the chapter on palm reading in his text, and searched again.

"What're you bribing her for? We don't need the extra study time... final exams aren't for ages!"

"Maybe for once I just thought I'd show her a little bit of consideration, Ron. You should look into it sometime. I can't count on both my hands how many times she avoided having your sorry ass being pulverized by Voldemort..."

"Do you have to say his name?!" Ron hissed through gritted teeth.

"Fear of a name only increases fear of the thing itself!" Harry hissed maliciously, thrusting aside Ron's pale hand.

"Hey!" Ron held up his free hands defensively. "I was only thinking that if there was something going on between you and her..."

"Nothing is going on!" Harry finally screamed, purging all of his aggravation into that last sentence. "Can't friends just do considerate things for friends every once in a while?!" The class, palms face side up on the table, forgotten, were now thoroughly engrossed in the argument.

"But it was an awful lot to spend on her..."

"So?!" Harry shot back bitterly through gritted teeth. "She's worth it! Earth to Ron; haven't you realized all of the great things she's done for us over the past five years? And what have we repaid her with?"

Harry waited, feeling his forehead grow hot with anger as he realized Ron's silence.

"Exactly!" he exclaimed. "Nothing... and even though I'm just recognizing what a gift she is to us, I still think she would have needed to know someone was still thinking of her... even after her breakup with Krum."

A thought finally came to Ron "I see what's going on... moving in after the boyfriend decides to bail. It's fine, Harry- I know just what-"

"You don't know ANYTHING!" The enraged scream shook the class, settling some dust from the aged rafters onto the dimly lit table lamps. "You think you're so damn clever. You think you've read me like a book; well, I've got news for you. Maybe some of us actually know the meaning of kindness and like to act upon it! Oh, wait! Maybe some of us actually have money to spend on other people!" It took a slight moment for his breath to return to the normal, rhythmic cycle, and when this occurred, he furiously threw his textbooks in his pack.

"Harry, I-"

"Don't talk to me." He stated, not looking back at him. "Don't talk to me." A cutting sensation was filling his heart- he knew he had sunk low. Really low.

Kicking open the trapdoor, he thrust his bag onto the landing, where it emitted an audible crash. Climbing through the undersized crawlspace, Harry did not stare back at the many eyes watching over him; and no one dared to pursue him.

~*~*~*~*~

Harry still wasn't looking, much less speaking to Ron when Potions came at the end of the day. Hermione stood confused, acting as a separating barrier between the two. Ron had managed the task of snubbing her too, so the only other option was to stand with Harry. Stating that he didn't want to talk about "him", she didn't press the subject, although she rolled her eyes again.

"Honestly, you two have a fight every five minutes... I wish you could just stop acting like children and learn how to handle-" She lingered on the subject.

Seamus Finnigan, who had sensed Harry was in a particularly dire mood, pressed his finger to his lips, an impish glint in his blue eyes. Trying desperately to keep a straight face, she continued to lecture him on the subject manner, giving Seamus time to shadow his unwary prey.

"All I'm saying is that you should handle this like an adult instead of the 'he-said she-said' method."

"But you should heard him when we were in Divination; he wouldn't take the hint to shut his- ARGH!"

Seamus lunged at Harry, pouncing onto his back and laughing like a madman. Even the neighboring Slytherins were sent into rolls of laughter.

"Cheer up, Potter!" Seamus called as Harry struggled to rid him of his burden. "Welcoming committee has arrived just in time to..."

Seamus fell back on the stone floor, still in the center of hysterics. A harsh, echoing rip was sounded through the hallway.

"Damn it, Seamus!"

His bag had split, causing all it's contents to plummet onto the granite flooring. Inkbottles of various colors shattered when meeting their destination and quills floated in the lake of rippling rainbow pigments. Still laughing slightly, Hermione and Seamus bent down to gather the tainted items, pondering Harry's new action; he seemed to be searching frantically for something.

"Hermione do you see... have you seen...."

"Hey, lookie here! Seems Potter's been keeping a diary at hand..." Malfoy emerged, only to take possession of a small, burgundy colored book that Harry had been so close to grasping. He held a look of pure terror on his pallid face.

"Keeping a diary, are we?" he taunted, flipping the pages casually. He laughed evilly as he stopped on a particular date. "Oh this is better than a sack full of galleons; of course, Weasley wouldn't know that, would you?" Hermione watched as Ron's ears reddened with embarrassment. Harry was still gazing deeply on the booklet. His eyes had grown wide, now the size of two illustrious emeralds.

"C'mon, Harry..." Hermione ushered, at long last pulling him off of his knees. "We're going to be late."

"I have to get that book back." Pleading to his companion with those eyes, Hermione nodded, shooting Draco an ominous look.

The random assortment of haughty laughs and giggles coming from the huddled group of Slytherins as they read from the supposed "journal" was all but reassuring to Harry, who tensed up as a new wave of laughter reverberated of the marble walls.

"Page ninety-seven!" barked the enraged potions master. "Follow the directions for your Dreamless Sleep Draught to the exact word..." He stared down at the Gryffindors with malice. He added coldly:

"I'll be checking your progress."

Quickly, the class assembled the ingredients. Almost at once Harry mumbled "Nightshade! We're all out!"

"Harry..." Hermione muttered, shaking a full vile.

"Oh, right..." he muttered, face flushing repulsively with embarrassment.

Snickering, even the faintest trace of it, was echoing of the bleak walls of the clammy dungeon. Hermione watched her friend's ears flush with embarrassment, as she turned to see Malfoy and his cronies flipping through the book with immense interest. She rolled her eyes.

"Honestly, Harry!" she groaned, reaching for her wand. "Don't you remember anything that I taught you in fourth year? Accio book!"

The "diary" zoomed out of Malfoy's hands, only to safely return with a gentle thump into Hermione's. However, through her triumph, scarce papers flew from its depths, circling the floor like newly fallen snow. Bending down to pick up the loose parchment, Hermione slyly placed one in the concealed crevice of her potions book, curiosity overwhelming her a little more.

"Thanks..." Harry muttered, performing a shrinking spell on the book and shoved it absentmindedly into his jeans pocket. He was absolutely fuming throughout the whole class as Hermione wondered what could possibly be scrolled on the parchment...

"Please tell me what's wrong!"

Hermione pleaded with him, following Harry the long way to dinner. The way he had enveloped himself in silence was so alarming to her. He turned to face her, staring her straight in the eye. She detected how hard his eyes were, and he was making an effort to control his breathing. His face finally relaxed when she said, "Wasn't it you who told me that you wanted to begin expressing all of our suppressed feelings?"

"Yes, but not these ones..." He turned, shoulders slumping and his body language was giving off the radiation of someone trapped in an absorbed thought process. "Look, Hermione, I know that you're only concerned about me, but just lay off for a while; I just need to think..." And with that, he dejectedly muttered the password (Manticore) and sauntered off into the brightly lit common room. Hermione heard the faintest click of the ancient dormitory door closing before a line from a Muggle play ran across her racing mind.

"Away from light steals home my heavy son,

And private in his chamber pens himself,

Shuts up his windows, locks fair daylight out,

And makes himself an artificial night..."

"Romeo and Juliet..." she whispered, brow furrowing. I wonder...

Her heart was now thumping painfully in her ears. Briskly walking to the nearest girls' bathroom, she locked herself into the nearest stall. With somewhat shaking hands, though she couldn't have explained it to herself if she could find the words, she pulled the parchment from her bag. Steadying her breath and heaving a sigh, she dove into reading the note, feeling like she was diving into something she knew she might regret.

"... but I don't understand why I get these bizarre feelings- what could they mean?! I sometimes think that I must be losing my mind because I find myself writing poetry to her. Poetry! Of all things... but I can't help but yearn to fly up to the rooftops of the Astronomy Tower and scream what I'm beginning to think that these emotions are. I can't help but get shy and timid around her now- and Ron's suspecting something.

I am just so confused. Damn adolescence. Shouldn't it be different in the wizarding world? Everything else is... and I was truly not expecting this. Shaving? Yes. Deeper voice? Sure. Awkward and gangly movements? Of course. But why am I so wrapped up in my emotions all of a sudden? All I can think of now is her long, cinnamon flecked hair and I'm transported into my own world of splendor and I find myself desperately clinging onto that thought, not wanting to let go. I love the way her coffee colored eyes shine and sparkle, emitting light like there are a million stars trapped in those irises when she gets a sudden change of emotion. Even her smell makes me hurt and desire her more. The combination of fresh powder and lilacs that I want to have clinging to something of mine to cure my sudden yearn for a fix. Her lips- so soft and sensual, like two rose petals that must have the most wonderful taste to them- mm. French vanilla... with a mint aftertaste. God, I don't know why I can barely stand to be near her anymore. I fidget like crazy and all I can think of is how much I want her!

Just to hold her once... how could she ever want someone like me?I want her to want me for me and not just following the crowd because I am "The Famous Harry Potter". Is that all she sees when she looks at me? I may never know..."

Hermione felt a sense of paralysis as she dropped the piece of parchment and watched it flutter and glide to the floor, gracefully drifting toward the floor. Her jaw, she felt, had fallen open, as if magnetically attached to the journal entry. All she could do was stare ahead blankly, wondering what she was going to do next.