Framboise et Coquelicot

The late afternoon sun was streaming through the kitchen window, its beams shining on the spotless tile floor.

"Lily darling, how many jars do you intend to fill with that sticky stuff? We don´t have that much room in the cupboards," the man said, eyeing the array of glass jars standing on the kitchen counter in neat rows, looking very much like small soldiers.

Lily turned towards her husband, a wooden spoon in her hand coated with a thick red mixture, a scowl on her face.

"For your information, that `sticky stuff´ is called raspberry jam. If you had paid a little more attention to the arranging of the house when we first moved in, you would have known that I put a special charm on those cupboards. You could put your mother´s entire collection of Stupefied garden gnomes in them and there would still be some room to stuff you in there to keep them company."

The man smiled and reached to pull on a lock of Lily´s dark red hair.

"Oh, aren´t we touchy today, my little Poppy. I should have known better than to tease you on your `let´s make raspberry jam´ day."

Lily opened her mouth to deliver a well-deserved put-down but all her anger vanished when she felt another firm mouth close on hers. She melted in his embrace as soon as he pulled her to him, and she locked her arms around his neck. Some raspberry jam was dripping into her husband´s hair from the spoon she was still holding, and her fingers were sticky from too many `dip and tastes´, but she felt perfectly content; she had everything she could wish for. She pulled back slightly after a while, and her green eyes twinkled mischievously.

"Well well well Mr Diplomat, is that all you can do to make me forgive you? I must say, I am quite disappointed. I sincerely hope you can do better." Lily pressed herself seductively against his chest.

"Oh, I assure you I can."

His husky voice sent shivers down her spine, and she had to close her eyes when he lightly ran a hand though her hair, along her jaw, down her neck... Lily had never known that making raspberry jam could make you feel so good. She would definitely have to do it mo -

BANG!

Lily jerked awake and found herself sitting at a desk in a Hogwarts´ classroom. She blinked and looked around, trying to locate the source of the noise that had distracted her from a most agreeable dream. Her eyes came to rest soon enough on James Potter and Sirius Black, who were looking, or at least trying to look, quite sheepish. Professor Binns was hovering above some broken glass and a small pool of black ink, his ghostly eyebrows knit together in a scowl, staring down at the pair.

"Parker! Brown!" he barked. "What is the meaning of this?"

"It´s nothing, Professor: I just knocked over my ink bottle in my eagerness to take some notes on the seventy ninth Goblin Rebellion," Sirius answered. When he saw that the professor was not very impressed by his explanation, he put on his most charming smile and quickly added, "I am sorry for disrupting the lesson."

Binns grunted but did not pursue the matter further. "Just clean up your mess, will you," he said, floating back to his desk.

"Now, where was I before Mr Brook interrupted me... Ah yes! Melvolin the Lunatic was quartered publicly after he was found guilty of..."

The class fell back into a stupor again as Binns droned on. Looking idly around her, Lily noticed that James and Sirius were whispering animatedly, but as discreetly as they could. Now, that was odd, she thought. The pair usually snored their way through History of Magic, probably catching up on the hours of sleep they lost while wandering around the school at night with Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew. But Remus and Peter had promptly gone back to sleep and were oblivious to what was going on between their two friends seated at the desk in front of them. To Lily, it looked like James and Sirius were having an argument of some sort. Well, they can argue all they want, she thought, yawning. She didn´t give a damn. Now, if only she could go back to her nice dream before the end of the -

"Well, that´s it for today, class. You will read the chapters concerning the eightieth Goblin Revolution in your textbooks for next time. Don´t forget a small test is always a possibility."

Oh well. It would have to wait for another time. While stuffing her blank sheets of parchment, her quill and ink bottle into her bag, she wondered what was wrong with her lately. She was not one to fall asleep in class, even in History of Magic. Classes had started on Monday, September 2nd and today was Friday the 6th of that same month. Not even a week back at Hogwarts and already slacking. She would have to pull herself together, and quick. Comforted in her resolution, she suddenly remembered she had a prefect meeting to attend, History of Magic being the last lesson of the day. She shouldered her bag and left the classroom in a hurry. Still, the dream had been more than nice. Her `husband´ had called her `Poppy´, her occasional nickname, which she usually hated. It was funny, she couldn´t remember what he looked like. She couldn´t remember his name either.

"I must be getting really desperate to conjure up a dream with a charming and handsome faceless husband," she muttered to herself as she walked through the corridors. She was feeling incredibly lonely these days; well, for quite a long time, actually. It was like there was something important missing from her life. Sure, she had friends, and very good friends at that, but still the void was there. She longed for that contentment she had felt in her dream. And also, though it was more deeply buried and more confusing, she was afraid of that madman Voldemort cavorting around. But he would surely be shipped to Azkaban soon, wouldn´t he? "That´s right Lily, keep deluding yourself", she snorted. She remembered the first time she had heard his name, in her third year. She remembered the feeling of dread she had experienced, the cold shivers running down her spine...

"Hey Lily! Wait for me!"

The voice woke Lily from her thoughts, and she turned around to see James Potter jogging towards her, smiling.

"I thought you said we could walk to the meeting together?" James said as he stopped in front of her, not a bit out of breath.

Lily stared at him blankly; when on earth had she said that? Seeing her clueless expression, James patiently explained, "You told me this morning after breakfast, remember?"

She must be really far gone if she couldn´t even remember a conversation she´d had only a few hours ago. Lily Evans never forgot anything, it simply wasn´t in her nature. Her eyes wandered over James´ face, examining the features she knew so well. His dark blue eyes looked concerned behind his round glasses, and for once, his black hair was not in the way either. She rather liked the new haircut, she thought idly before realising he was waiting for her to say something. She smiled sheepishly. "I´m sorry James, I don´t know what´s wrong with me today. My mind has been wandering in the clouds and I forgot."

James shrugged; he didn´t seem put out. "Happens to everyone."

"Well, it doesn´t usually happen to me," Lily said as she started walking again. "It feels strange."

James laughed as he forced himself to walk slowly to stay close to Lily. He was very tall for his age, and her head barely reached his shoulder. She looked up at him, frowning, and he grinned. "Welcome to the real world, Princess. I can give you a tour if you want, now that you´ve joined us mere mortals in this puzzling place we like to call Earth."

"Oh, shut up!" she said playfully.

In fact, she felt a bit confused. She would usually have accompanied her remark with a shove on his shoulder or a small kick in the shin, like she still did with Remus and Sirius, and occasionally Peter. The truth was she sometimes felt uneasy around him. She didn´t know what to make of him, and it bothered her. They had met at King´s Cross Station when she was trying to get onto Platform 9 ¾ for the first time. She had spent the whole journey to Hogwarts with him and his friends in a compartment all to themselves. They had been relatively close ever since, though having found her own friends afterwards, she did not really hang around with them or seek them out on a regular basis. Things had changed when she and James had been appointed prefects to represent Gryffindor House. They were thrown together much more, and sparks flew when they argued on some point or other. She had found that James could be quite resentful, and certainly held grudges for a long time. She thought of the biggest fight they´d had, just after New Year, and of the effects it still had on their friendship. This year´s Head Boy, Howard Clint, then a 6th year Ravenclaw prefect, had asked her out repeatedly throughout the year and she had finally agreed to spend New Year´s Eve with him. It had not been very romantic. They had patrolled Hogwarts corridors late at night in case any of the few students staying over the holidays decided to start the year with a bang. As it happened, a couple of Slytherins did have that in mind, and blew out the second floor girls´ toilets while Lily and Howard were checking the Astronomy Tower. The incident had been discussed during the next prefect meeting, and James had practically blown up. He had accused Lily of neglecting her duties, of using the patrol as an excuse to spend the night in the Astronomy Tower with Howard. Lily had not been the only one he had lashed out at, Howard received his share of the reprimand. It took nearly two months for James to start speaking to her even cordially again. Lily suspected it was because of the gentle persuasion of Maureen that he finally gave in and made up with her. Maureen was a very pretty Hufflepuff girl James had suddenly shown up with on Valentine´s Day. James had never dated anyone before; he didn´t seem interested, so it was quite unexpected. Lily was surprised to find she liked the girl quite a lot, and although James had broken up with her long before the end of the year, she still talked to Maureen from time to time. But Lily had never felt very much at ease with James afterwards; she felt that he had not yet forgiven her. Which was completely unfair in Lily´s opinion. It wasn´t her fault something had happened. What real use could two patrolling prefects be in a castle the size of Hogwarts? The Astronomy Tower was very popular with the students, especially with couples in search of privacy, and it had seemed logical to search it intensively. But of course a mind like James´ would jump to the wrong conclusion. What she resented the most, though, was that he had accused her of letting her relationship get in the way of her prefect duties although it was absolutely untrue. And on top of all that, it was perfectly acceptable for him to have someone in his life. Because Maureen hadn´t been the last girlfriend he had. Oh, he wasn´t exactly one a playboy; he was decent boyfriend material, but he had certainly taken advantage of his good looks on several occasions.

All her ruminations would have landed her right in the vanishing step of the south staircase if James hadn´t stopped her in time. She had Quidditch to thank for his very good reflexes.

"Careful here, daydreamer," he said gently, removing the hand he had placed on her arm. "You don´t want to visit the hospital wing during the first week back, do you?"

His blue eyes were twinkling the way they used to before last year´s spectacle, and Lily felt instantly better. He was back, her friend was back. How could she have had all those sombre thoughts? Everything was fine, he was here, like he always had been since they first met; except for those horrible two months, of course. She did not pause to ask herself why James had reverted back to his old self. Perhaps something had been the matter with her after all. In any case, it was good to be back from whatever dreary place she had been sulking in lately. She put on a sultry smile and batted her eyelashes seductively. She loved teasing him. "Why James, I thought it was every guy´s dream to sweep me off my feet and carry me to the hospital wing."

James seemed a little taken aback at first, but recovered quickly and leaned forward, his lips nearly grazing her ear. "Lily, I assure you, you have no idea what I picture us doing in my dreams," he whispered.

Lily shivered and closed her eyes briefly. When she opened them again James had pulled back and was grinning from ear to ear, a little flame dancing in his eyes.

"It´s good to have you back Evans," he said. "We´ve missed you."

"Oh come on! I wasn´t that bad, was I?"

"Yes, you were."

"Shut up, you insufferable prat!"

This time she didn´t have any problem with smacking his shoulder. Yes, it was great to have her friend back.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The Gryffindor common room was particularly noisy that evening. All the conversations had just one subject: the announcement Dumbledore had made at dinner. Every one had been surprised, except for the prefects who had been told during the first meeting of the year.

Lily was sitting on the rug close to the fire with her best friend Marian McMillan, a pretty black-haired witch of a happy disposition. Tonight, however, her usually smiling face wore a preoccupied expression and her light blue eyes were staring blankly into the fire. She sneaked a glance at Lily, who was engrossed in a book the size of Hogwarts, a History, apparently oblivious to the excited chatter going on around them. Marian knew better than to try and talk to her friend when she was reading, but she couldn´t help herself.

"Why do you think they suddenly decided to re-open the Duelling Club?" she blurted out.

Lily looked up from her book and raised an eyebrow.

"I mean," Marian went on, "it´s not as if any of the students asked for it. I went to the library after dinner to read up on it, and I found out that there hasn´t been a Duelling Club since 1824. So why now?"

Lily sighed. "Marian, you know why as well as I do, as well as most of the students do for that matter."

"Well, they don´t act as if they know. Look at them," Marian said, frustrated, turning her head away from the fire to glare at the various groups of excited Gryffindors scattered about the common room. "They all look so eager and happy about it. Can you tell me what there is to be eager and happy about?"

Lily understood how her friend felt, but she also understood why the others acted like they did, and she tried to explain. "Marian, every one is afraid of Voldemort. He has been very daring during the summer. People are afraid to even say his name now. Most of the students - well, most of the older students, anyway - know that this club is here to train us when it comes to attack and defence so we are prepared for the dark times to come. They try to make the most of it by pretending it´s just another way to prove the superiority of their own House. We´re still kids, Marian. Dumbledore didn´t announce the real reason behind the club directly so that we can act like normal teenagers while we are at Hogwarts!"

In fact, Dumbledore hadn´t announced half of what was going to happen this year, but Lily wisely kept that to herself. It was classified prefect information after all, and the whole thing would be revealed at the special assembly scheduled for Sunday morning.

Marian had been plucking at the thick rug angrily during her friend´s tirade, and the small lion that had been the recipient of her agitated treatment looked more like a sickly overgrown golden rat with half its fur missing. Marian restored it to its original state with an angry wave of her wand before turning to Lily. "I don´t understand how you of all people can stay that passive. You're Muggleborn, Lily. You should -" She stopped suddenly, she wasn´t getting anywhere like that. "Look," she said more calmly. "I´m tired, I don´t know what I´m saying anymore. I´m going to bed."

She got up and headed for the staircase leading to the 6th year girls´ dormitory. It was now Lily´s turn to find the fire fascinating. She wouldn´t let what Marian had said bother her, she told herself. She didn´t need the worry. A lot of people considered Lily very strong, they thought she could handle anything, and that´s why she was nearly guaranteed to be Head Girl next year. She didn´t want them to know how fragile she really was. It often frightened her to realise how little it would take for her to crumble. She had to show a diamond-hard exterior to the world if she wanted to be considered for the Auror training she was dreaming of. She couldn´t let her worries for her family and friends overcome her.

"Lily?"

The voice was soft and a bit hesitant, as if doubtful of its welcome.

"What do you want Remus?" she asked without taking her eyes from the flames.

"Well, you´ve been staring at that fire with such fascination that we thought you might consider jumping into it so you two could get better acquainted," Remus tried to joke. However, the worry in his voice was hard to miss.

Lily turned her head to her left. James, Sirius and Peter were sitting at their regular table, trying not to look too interested in what was going on near the fire. By `we´, Remus meant them, the Marauders. The famous pranksters of Hogwarts. She caught James´ worried eyes before hastily turning to Remus.

"So, you were sent to be my noble saviour?" she asked with a smile.

She had always liked Remus without knowing why. It had taken her some time to trust the other three boys completely, but she had always felt safe with Remus right from the start. That same Remus was presently squirming a little as she gazed up at him from her position on the rug. Was that a blush on his normally pale cheeks? Or was it the heat from the fire?

"Er..." he started uneasily. "Actually I was sent here to ask you if you would play a game of chess with me. Those idiots," - he gestured vaguely in the direction of the three boys sitting in their corner - "told me they weren´t interested. So here I am."

Lily knew it was a lie, and a bad one at that. Sirius never passed up an opportunity to try and beat Remus. You would never be able to tell from his tranquil exterior that Remus could be a real hellion as well as a wonderful strategist. He and Sirius had an ongoing friendly little competition between them as to who could do better than the other. So far it was a draw. She let Remus´ lie pass; she could really do with the company.

"I would love to play chess with you, Remus," she said.

Remus grinned and pulled her to her feet. He was a bit smaller than James but a bit bulkier. She nevertheless still had to look up to meet his kind grey eyes, which were twinkling mischievously at the moment.

"Since you are being so nice," he said, "I will try to give you the chance to actually win a game for once."

"Aren´t you the gallant one tonight! Who gave you some lessons? Can´t be James, and it certainly wasn´t Sirius either..." Lily pretended to ponder the matter, and Remus laughed.

"Nope!" he said. "I´m self-taught. I must be really good if you appreciate it so much."

Lily passed a surprisingly good evening with Remus considering the circumstances. They talked and laughed together while playing, behaving as if they didn´t have a care in the world. Despite Remus´ words, she didn´t win a single game of the three they played. It was one thing to act happy and enjoy the false sentiment of security it provided, but it was another to beat Remus at chess.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

As she stepped into her dormitory, all her gaiety abandoned her quite suddenly as she looked around the room she had occupied since her first year at Hogwarts. She could see the moon shinning high in the sky through the window, bathing the room in an ethereal light. Its beams fell, seemingly at random, on different objects scattered around the place. The Teen Witch Weekly thrown carelessly on the floor, a blond model waving and smiling on the cover; the wizarding make-up case opened on Amy Langsbury´s bedside table; a solitary glittering high-heeled sandal at the foot of Marian´s bed, its sister probably forgotten in some other place. They had spent the previous evening dressing up and trying some make-up on, the goal being to look like the blond Teen Witch model whose toothy smile appeared even more dazzling in the ghostly light. Lily recalled her earlier conversation with Marian. Yes, they were kids, even though she didn´t feel like one. They shouldn´t have to grow up so soon. She sighed and was about to get into bed when she heard Marian calling her.

"Lily?" she whispered, mindful of her sleeping dorm mates.

Lily made her way silently across the room and sat atop the covers on the edge of Marian´s bed. "I thought you were asleep," she said, noticing that her friend´s eyes seemed to be swollen, although she couldn´t be sure in the dim light.

"I couldn´t fall asleep," Marian sobbed, confirming Lily´s suspicions. She had been crying. "Oh Lily, I´m so sorry, I shouldn´t have got angry like that. Please forgive me."

"Of course I forgive you Ri, don´t you remember the number of times I was the one to beg for forgiveness because of my wretched character?"

In fact it hadn´t happened that many times, but Marian smiled a little.

"Do you want to tell me what´s really wrong, Ri?" Lily asked gently.

Marian tried to laugh but it ended up as a half-sob. "You´ll think I´m stupid. You know what we both think of Divination, just rubbish, supposedly cryptic stuff. Now here I am, afraid because of a stupid feeling I have in my gut that I can´t get rid of." She paused, expecting her friend to come up with a funny repartee to tease her, but nothing came; Lily was listening attentively. Marian drew in a shaky breath and went on. "I know I´m supposed to be brave, being in Gryffindor and all that, but the truth is that I am terrified. It came to me while I was in the library, reading up on the Duelling Club. I was suddenly hit with the certainty that Voldemort was going to be the cause of my death, that a great number of people would lose their lives at his hands. It´s not a vision I had, just a feeling, and it was so strong at first that it made me sick."

Lily stayed silent long after Marian had finished. She was shocked by what she had just heard, but not totally surprised. She knew she had to say something, and weighed up her different options. Her mind made up, she reached out tentatively and took her friend´s hand in hers, squeezing it comfortingly. When she spoke, her voice was very gentle. "As you said, you didn´t have any vision. It is perfectly understandable to be afraid. Voldemort is a monster, and you´ve seen first hand what he can do when he attacked Diagon Alley this summer. But you must not let it destroy you. The wizarding world is well protected by very powerful witches and wizards. We are under the care of the most powerful of them. By the time we leave Hogwarts, the menace will have ceased to exist. We will be free to live our lives to the fullest."

As Lily delivered her little speech she hoped with all her heart that Marian would believe in it. Lily didn´t quite believe in it herself, but she needed to be the strong one. And with any chance it just might become true; you never knew. As long as you didn´t lose hope, a miracle could always happen, especially in the wizarding world.

Marian seemed calmer now. She squeezed Lily´s hand back and smiled. "You´re right, as always. I was just being over-emotional. It´s time to sleep now, we don´t want to look like zombies for our first Hogsmeade trip tomorrow!"

Lily didn´t even bother changing into her pajamas, and crashed into bed directly. She was so very tired. There would always be some time to think everything over the next day. She closed her eyes and fell asleep in a second, thinking of raspberry jam and a charming man.

.