Mandatory

Mandatory

We flipped a coin to see who we would tell first.

It had been five delicious months of 'togetherness', of carefully measured web of secrets and many last-minute kisses...but silence was taking its toll. The secret-keeping had worn both of us out emotionally. Some secrets were never meant to be kept, matters of the heart doubly so, they are the kind that nibble away at the inside of souls, trying to force themselves out over numb lips, desperate to be a secret no longer.

Seamus couldn't cover for us any more, even though he had done so willingly and without question or grievance, we simply couldn't let him continue to lie for us. There had been too many close calls and even closer shaves when we locked the door to my bathroom and listened to the irate cries of my dorm-mates as they hammered on hollow wood and threatened to break it down. We had reached a stage where we were now beyond caring if anyone found out, despite the impending consequences...so the time had come.

Ginny, on the other hand, over the past two months had seemed to divide her time between starting at you, and staring at me; and it ended up being her to corner you and propose an ultimatum.

Either start telling your nearest-and-dearest or I'll announce it in the Great Hall in front of the whole school.

And you had no reason to disbelieve her...she was far too like her mother to be pushed aside and ignored.

So, here we were, tossing a coin for the decision. Either Pansy or Hermione. Now, it was up to the coin. I called it. Tails.

It flipped in the air, the silver sickle reflecting the light of the evening sun that hung low on the knife-edge of the horizon, hovering like an unsure butterfly on the edge of uncertainty. It reflected off the banners behind us, sending yellow-gold streaks of silky-warmth across our backs and shoulders. We were sitting in the Hufflepuff stand over looking the Quidditch pitch - our favourite 'lets just get away from the world for a while' spot: one of the places on our list of 'where no one in their right minds would ever think to look for us'.

Neither of us reached for the coin as it spun down with gravity, before it came clattering down dully, echoing against the wooding stands. It landed on its edge, spinning wildly before either of us could grab it. Our foreheads collided as we fumbled for the errant coin, our laughter ringing out as we rubbed at the identical spots of tender flesh and our combined stupidity for letting a simple piece of money get the better of us.

It was twilight before we found it, crawling around on our hands and knees searching for it. It was like the coin had suddenly become our entirety - like our very future and well-being and general peace of mind could be swayed so easily by this one piece of silver.

I felt it first, its cool reality sinking in to me as I latched my hand around it firmly, daring it to get away from me again. I called you over and you skidded in beside me, brushing your lips against the cool of my neck, making my spine sizzle with your simple gesture of warmth and affection. You lit your wand and we both stared down as I cautiously moved my hand.

We had tossed a coin. Tails. I'd won. You'd have to tell her first.

It seemed like more of a let-down than a relief, after spending the last hour psyching myself up while getting splinters in the heals of my hand and palms while on the hunt for the coin. After all, we knew that we had to come clean eventually with our friends, long before Ginny's threat and your joking suggestion that we toss to see who would go first at telling one of our closest friends.

I'd decided it was a hollow victory as we marched straight to her room; you were being usually silent all the way there, 'writing your speech' you told me calmly, but I knew you were shaking desperately on the inside.

She was none too pleased to see me there, but you sat her down and delicately explained the situation with a few stutters and wayward blushes punctuating your justification. In then end, I simply took your hand, tracing your fingers with my own, and she took the opportunity to look at you like you'd fallen out of your tree, before ever so politely asking me to wait outside for just a few minutes.

I leaned my ear against the door to listen to her voice rising and falling with emotion through the door as I wrapped my arms around myself pretending that they were yours. I broke into a nervous sweat waiting for her reaction, even if it was in the form of an explosion I think I would feel a whole lot better.

When she let me back in, her face was set with worry and resolution, she looked me up and down before shrugging her shoulders and giving me a hug. I stared at you over her shoulder with mock terror and you laughed with complete gentleness.

She wandered out, still shaking her head and calling the day 'the most ironic in history' and you pulled me down on your bed and warmed me with your mouth and hands, divulging me of inhibitions and clothing.

I lost myself to you, gathering your arms and legs, ankles and ribs, to me completely, nuzzling your ear, taking the lobe between my teeth just the way I knew you liked it. You were so good to me. I'd won the toss. Now you were going to make me pay. And just before I claimed you, you found your voice, husky with passion, free from secrets, arching your spine towards my touch and ministrations.

"Now all you have to do is tell Hermione."

Yes, it was definitely a hollow victory.

- finished -