Stealing Sheep

STEALING SHEEP

CHAPTER 15: Epiphanised

James was happy. He knew he shouldn't have given himself over so completely to his emotions but he really didn't care. All he cared about was seeing her again. Last night had been singularly the most perfect night in his entire life when to his astonishment, everything had gone right- they hadn't argued, he hadn't made an arse out of himself, they'd discussed the dreams maturely and finally been truthful with one another.

He couldn't quite believe that he'd had the nerve to tell her how he felt about her. He hadn't been able to hold it in much longer and the words just leapt out of his mouth before he realised what he'd done. He had thought that he'd get a slap. The last thing he'd expected was a kiss.

James sighed audibly and received strange looks from his friends.

He couldn't control the happiness bubbling inside him or the stupid grin that was plastered on his face. She had kissed him. She had kissed him. He still didn't quite believe that it was true and he hadn't imagined the whole night. But just the memory of her soft lips on his sent a shiver down his spine.

He'd been a complete gentleman, of course. When it'd stopped raining they had slowly made their way back to the castle in comfortable silence. After he'd deposited the magic carpet back in its hiding place they had crept through the shadows, past the Great Hall and up through the lonely corridors. When they'd arrived at the empty Common Room he'd walked her to the foot of her dormitory stairs and kissed her goodnight. Of course he'd wanted to sweep her up into his arms and he had sensed she wanted that too but he resisted and kept it chaste. He could still clearly see the gentle smile she sent him before she ran up the stairs to bed.

Ever since she'd left him standing there he'd been in a daze.

"Snap out of it, dude!"

James blinked blankly.

"Jesus Christ," Sirius drawled in amusement, "what happened to you last night? You look like you've been Epiphanised."

James just smiled goofily, not paying the slightest attention, but

Remus frowned. "Epiphanised? That's not a word."

Sirius grinned lazily. "It means 'to have an Epiphany or revelation strike one. Sufferers of Epiphanesia tend to sport a stupid smile and floppy hair."

"Floppy hair?" Remus was not convinced.

James, meanwhile, hadn't heard a word and didn't care anyway because heading across the room was loveliness personified. He instantly lost all the mystery and coolness he'd practised in the mirror that morning and jumped to his feet. "Er- morning, Lily. Can I have a word?"

She smiled politely back, making his heart drop a few feet and nodded. As she followed him to a quiet corner of the Common Room he wondered if she'd changed her mind drastically since last night and what he'd do if she had.

Before he could open his mouth she pulled him around to stand in front of her, effectively blocking them from view from any prying eyes and said, "I've been thinking-"

He gulped, knowing what was coming.

"-We shouldn't act differently around each other. You don't want everyone to know, do you?"

He stared at her, not quite understanding what she was staying.

"What?"

He almost stumbled backwards when she unexpectedly broke her stony expression to flash him her thousand-mega watt smile.

"Well, I don't want Black and Lupin questioning me every day on how well I'm treating you, do I? They'd drive me mad."

"So..." James still hadn't worked it out.

She sighed in exasperation. "Look, are we going to try this or not?"

"You want to?" He could hardly believe it.

"Of course," she said softly, watching him from under her lashes.

He beamed.

"On one condition."

He froze mid-beam.

"No one can find out."

He gaped at her. "Ever?"

"No, stupid," she said with amusement, "Just until we have it figured out. So in the meantime we've got to act normal. Think you can handle that?" Her eyes sparkled mischievously and to his amazement she winked at him before striding into full view saying loudly, "And don't expect me to finish that report for you; Dumbledore wants it in by tonight."

He blinked and watched her go, unable to fully take in what was going on. Yesterday, he had wanted to get her out of his thoughts at all costs and now...she was everything. And he could totally get used to the new thawed-out Lily.

James froze as it finally registered what she had only just said.

"Dammit!" he cursed as he ran back up to his room to finish the report on 'How the Head Students Suggest Inter House Unity Can Be Promoted' that he'd had for three weeks and was due in three hours. Some things never change.

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James threw down his towel and grinned at his reflection in the mirror. They had won! Again! Ah the smell of triumph was sweet...He had flown like an eagle, scored as quick as lightening, and dodged the nasty Slytherins like they were merely bugs on his radar. Ah, he was good. As he liked to remind himself frequently. "James Potter, you are a God on the Quidditch pitch!" He winked at his reflection as it praised him and blew kisses.

"A God, eh?"

He spun so fast he was lucky he didn't get whiplash. "Lily? Wha-? I'm half-naked here!" He grabbed his towel and clutched it to him like a lifeline, desperately covering up his exposed torso.

She merely smiled sunnily and breezed passed him. "Oh stop being so dramatic!" She paused and stared wonderingly around the changing room. "This isn't nearly as exciting as I thought it'd be."

James quickly pulled his shirt over his dripping head and tried to ignore the fact that the material was now plastered to his body. He was magenta with embarrassment and also absolutely baffled as to why she was striding around the locker room as if it held the secrets of the Universe. "Why would you think its exciting?"

She shrugged as she inspected a shower cubicle. "Dunno. I've just always been fascinated by the amount of male bonding that goes on in here. Oh, yeah and there is all the nakedness."

He nearly swallowed his tongue. "Lily!"

"What?" She smiled and he felt a roll of heat flare in his stomach.

He'd never seen her eyes sparkle so mischievously before. "This is the place where female fantasies dwell. I swear if I could be invisible for a day this is where I'd come."

His eyes bulged. He'd never even considered using his invisibility cloak for such dark deeds. He wondered how Sirius hadn't come up with that before. He suddenly felt ashamed of himself for not fulfilling his male duty. "What are you doing here anyway?" he blurted out.

She raised an eyebrow at his desperate tone. "Congratulating you. I was waiting outside but then everyone else left and it seems you like really long showers so I thought I'd come investigate."

"Didn't you think that I might still be in said shower? That I might be in a state of undress?" he said in what he thought of as a dignified, modest voice.

She took a step closer to him and grinned seductively. "I was counting on it."

His eyes widened and he went pale.

Lily burst out laughing, to his consternation. "You should see your face!"

"What?" He was utterly baffled more or less all the time he was in her company. He used to be constantly trying to work out what he'd done to make her so mad at him, and now she seemed to be laughing at him an awful lot and he still had no idea why.

"I'm just messing with you, no need to get your knickers in a twist." She laughed and skipped around him further into the locker room.

James grabbed his bag and followed, surprised that she seemed to be in a good mood, a very good mood for once. "What's up with you today? You're all happy."

She paused where she was poking at a damp pile of clothes with her wand, a disgusted expression on her face. "I'm just...in a good mood. Jesus, you're all smelly pigs, aren't you?"

"Excuse me?"

She straightened and sighed, frowning at him mournfully. "I expected it to be all lovely and steamy and mysterious, not full of sweaty towels and funny smells. I really am disappointed. You should all make more of an effort to be sexy Quidditch players."

"Excuse me?"

"Really, is that all you can say? How about 'Lily, I am a sexy Quidditch player.' That would've been smooth." She sidled up to him, placing a hand on his chest and battering her eyelashes at him.

"Smooth?" He knew they had an understanding but she still scared the hell out of him. What was he meant to do? Pretend to be all cool, while his hair was dripping wet, his shirt hung off him awkwardly and he was still exhausted from the two hour match he'd just won?

"How about this?" Her face was still lit up with humour as she pulled him closer. "I'll be the smooth one and you can stand there gawking like an idiot."

Before he knew what was happening she was kissing him slowly and he was liking it. He was initially surprised that she could flick from laughing to serious in so little time until he caught her giggling mid-kiss.

He kept still and allowed her quivering lips to gently move over his, attempting to coax him into the response that he knew she wanted and expected. His resolve lasted all of ten seconds before he gave in and embraced the moment. All traces of laughter evaporated as he kissed her back and it suddenly became more serious, more heated than before. He kissed her with all the passion and depth that he had, but that wasn't enough- he wanted, needed more. James pushed her against the wall, eager for the contact of their bodies pressed together, and instantly froze.

He lifted his head and stared at her as the water rained down on them from the shower head they had just triggered. A droplet dripped from the end of her nose and her hair was gradually getting wetter and wetter, as he saw the start of a smile work its way onto her face. The howling laughter exploded from them and they clutched onto each other, as the two giggling maniacs were quickly drenched from head to toe.

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Lily was strolling calmly down the corridor to meet her friends in the Library, smiling to herself about the strangeness that had taken hold of her life recently.

It was weird. Of course it was weird. She was talking to James Potter, enduring James Potter, kissing James Potter... She would never have believed it possible that she was thinking about Potter and not conjuring up torture methods at the same time. She hadn't even known she'd possessed the ability to actually like someone let alone think about them pretty much all the time and yet there she was, obsessing over him. But ever since that night...she was hooked. That night had opened her eyes to the possibility that he was more than just a stupid shallow boy, that he had real feelings, that he was human, just like her. She had wanted that night to last forever.

To her surprise, her feelings were one thing that had not evaporated since the romantic moment had passed. She had fully expected to wake up feeling horrified, bemused and regretful about what she'd done but she hadn't. She had just sighed happily to herself that she was alive and James was alive and that they could be together. It had been very disturbing.

She couldn't quite believe how she had behaved just a few days before, basically pouncing on him while he was in the Quidditch changing rooms. She blushed when she realised how forward she'd been about it all. It wasn't that she'd consciously wanted a...well, a good old-fashioned snogging session, she'd just wanted to innocently tell him 'well done'. After all, he had played an excellent game and she had been buoyed by Gryffindor's success- enough to risk being spotted sneaking in to talk to him. What she hadn't banked on was walking in on him having just stepped out of the shower. Stupid of her, really, she should have expected it, should have prepared herself but she simply hadn't thought about it. Very fortunately she'd been able to yank her eyes away from his lovely chest and forced herself to act nonchalant. She was pretty sure he'd had no idea how much he'd effected her.

Now she was trying to hold it together and look at it objectively, even though she pushed away the niggle of anxiety tugging at her. Ok, she could like as much as she wanted, but under no circumstances was she to be a) cliché; b) soppy; c) girly; d) giggly; or e) pathetic. It would be fine, if a little scary, if they did develop a relationship but she wouldn't allow herself to dissolve into stupidity.

Lily was just pondering her promise to herself when suddenly her arm was grabbed and she was yanked, shrieking, into the broom cupboard she had just passed.

"Wha-!" A hand pressed itself to her mouth and muffled her exclamation.

What was happening? She had no idea. She strained her eyes in the darkness, trying to distinguish who had tried to maul her, feverishly hoping it wasn't a Slytherin after revenge for her putting them into detention or something stupid like that.

"Ssh..." A soft voice whispered and her heart beat faster. She knew that voice. "It's only me."

After a quick 'lumos' was muttered the hand was removed from her mouth and she glared up at James, who at this moment was annoyingly tall and grinning mischievously.

"What do you think you are doing?" Lily whispered angrily and pushed him hard in the chest, making him take a step back, hands raised in submission.

"Don't kill me. I come in peace. Promise," he said with a grin.

She sent him another death glare. "Was there anything you needed?" she asked frostily, crossing her arms.

"Aw, come on, Lily..." James wheedled, carefully easing closer.

She glared at him once again, still in no mood to be forgiving after he'd scared her witless. He was not getting what he wanted this time. "Don't you dare come any closer. I know exactly what you are up to."

He smirked. "Do you? Hmm...It seems to me that I just want the same thing you wanted the other day in the Quidditch showers..."

She opened her mouth and shut it again. "I don't know what you mean," she finally managed.

James arched an eyebrow at her and grinned smugly, making her want to thump him. Instead, she groaned to herself in frustration and yanked him into the kiss she'd been fighting. Stuff it, she thought fiercely, as he pinned her against the door. Stuff it all to Hell.

Unfortunately, her brain just refused to stop working. It insisted, loudly, that she release the pent up confusion in a more constructive way than snogging the brains out of Potter.

She pushed him away with an almighty shove and told herself it was for the best.

"What's wrong?" he asked her, obviously perplexed.

The tiny niggle that had bubbled at the back of her mind sparked to life and she couldn't deny it any longer. She was confused, worried, uncertain, and strangely happy. All at once.

"The other day you were happy and now...tell me what's wrong," he said, gently.

She lifted her head and met his eyes. With a jolt she realised that he'd read every mixed up emotion that had sped its way across her face all within a few seconds.

She had to ask him. "James, why are you with me?"

He smiled uncertainly. "Because I dragged you into a cupboard."

"No, what I really mean is-" She gulped, dreading how it would sound. "-What are your intentions?"

He blinked stupidly. "Intentions?"

She nodded, biting her lip nervously. "What I'm trying to say is- are you just in it for a good snog?"

His mouth dropped open in shock but she ploughed on relentless.

"It's fine if you are- I won't be mad- but I just can't let myself get carried away if you don't want something real. I need to know."

To her immense surprise, his eyes lost the confused expression and suddenly flared to life, as he grabbed her arm. "What sort of person do you think I am? I would never string you on. Didn't I tell you how much you mean to me the other night? Don't you dare say I was lying," he growled, as she opened her mouth to protest, making her jump and stare at him in shock. He had never spoken to her like that before. She was scared by his abrupt change in mood, by the fire she saw burning in his eyes, and yet strangely, guiltily, excited by it. "Whatever you may think about me, the kissing wasn't what I was in this for." He stared at her, hard, while she held her breath, not sure what he would do next. What he did do was quirk a smile and add, "Just a nice bonus."

"Well-" she squeaked and made herself start again, trying to ignore how confusing he was. "Well, what are you in it for then?"

His gaze softened and his big hands came up to softly cup her face. She willed herself not to lean into his touch as she desperately wanted to and felt her breath catch when she realised that they were so close she could see the specks of gold that sparkled in his lovely eyes. He looked so serious, so grown-up compared to how nervous and shy he'd been a few days before in the locker room when she'd had all the power. He was a man with many facets and she was slightly scared that she found each as appealing as the next.

"Lily, how can you not know?" Her heart stuttered when he gave a small smile and she realised that now he was unsure of himself. It just made her melt even more. "I'm in it for you."

"What?" She wasn't quite sure she understood.

He sighed softly and she got the feeling he was slightly embarrassed. "It's all about you. My whole life. It's all been for you."

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