Stealing Sheep

CHAPTER 4: Where the Sun Doesn't Shine

"So...explain to me again why you have to spend four hours tonight scrubbing the steps in the Great Hall? I didn't quite catch it the first time round. I *thought* I heard something about following James Potter, falling over a cat and being ensnared by Filch. But I'm *obviously* delusional because that couldn't have happened since no sane person, especially the infamously goody-two-shoes Lily Evans would ever venture out after hours just because James Potter did." Rosa raised her eyebrows and shot a sardonic expression at her friend.

Lily paused in pulling on a stripy sock and glared. "Have you finished?"

Rosa nodded with a self- satisfied little smile on her face. She couldn't resist teasing Lily- after all, she was practically flypaper for freaky situations. She always managed to get herself into the most farcical circumstances, making her a never-ending source of humour to her friends.

Lily could take it all well and laugh at herself, but this time she was mad. She was mad at those stupid boys, she was mad at that stupid cat for tripping her over *intentionally*, she was mad at that stupid caretaker, and most of all she was furious at herself. 'How could I be so stupid? I should've known that I'd end up suffering in one way or another...'

"Urggh!" A loud but muffled groan sounded from somewhere in the direction of Leila's bed. "Do...not...tell...me...it's...morning. I only just shut my eyes!"

In response, Rosa marched across the room towards the window and yanked open the curtains. "You liar. You went to bed at ten last night and were fast asleep by half past. You've had at least twelve hours sleep. You want to know how I know? You snored the whole bloody time!"

"Argggh! I'm melting! I'm melting!" Leila writhed in agony then quickly jumped to her feet and ran past Rosa into the bathroom to escape from the glorious sunshine.

When Leila re-emerged half and hour later slightly more awake than when she entered it she took one glance at Lily's grim expression and knew, even in her sleepy state, that she had gone and got herself embroiled in another bizarre twist of fate. "So what masochistic act has good old Lils been up to this time? Fall into any forbidden swamps? Get attacked by any killer bunny rabbits? Wait- that was last week, wasn't it?" She grinned at Lily's sour look and turned to her other friend. "You still owe me two Galleons for that."

Rosa dismissed her with a wave of her hand. "Yeah, yeah...but wait 'til you hear what Lily's gone and discovered!"

Lily sighed with the inevitability of having to tell her story over and over and over. "Let's go down to breakfast because I am so hungry I feel like my stomach is trying to claw its way out. I'll tell you on the way."

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"But what were they doing in the Great Hall?"

They pushed through the crowd into the Hall and stopped dead. Lily glanced up at the wall to her left and immediately shut her eyes against the onslaught of pink, cringing. "That. They were doing that."

Across the Hall a very indignant-looking Snape was gesticulating wildly at the tapestry and ranting extremely loudly to McGonagall, who was attempting, in vain, to calm him down. He had, by this time, turned purple with a mixture of embarrassment and fury, but, really, who could blame him? He'd been had by the Marauders *again*.

After a few exclamations and shocked curses Lily finally managed to usher her friends to the Gryffindor House table, but still they both bore identical shocked expressions.

Leila put a hand to her head in astonishment. "They are the Marauders? How can this be? My whole world is off kilter! It'll never be the same again! How can I go on knowing this? Oh-"

"Oh, shut up, you sound like you're in a bloody soap opera, you drama queen," Rosa interrupted as she began to butter her toast.

Lily smiled, knowing that she could always count on her best friends for entertaining banter and joined in, trying to postpone thinking of the inevitable- Filch's detention.

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The Sun was slowly beginning to dip below the horizon, casting its last sepia rays across the castle grounds and bathing the land in warmth.

However, Lily wasn't out there enjoying it while she could. 'No', she thought bitterly. 'I have a bloody detention.'

She knocked on the great wooden door and entered, bracing herself for a bight of pure Hell.

What she saw in there she was not prepared for. No, Filch had not been wearing only a rubber cat-suit and curlers, it wasn't as disturbing as that, but still Lily had to hide her surprise at what she did see.

"Late! Late! Why is it that stinking kids have no sense of punctuality? In my day the little buggers were hung by their toenails for being late!" the caretaker raged at her.

Lily wasn't paying attention. As she lowered herself into one of the two opposite Filch she stared at the occupant of the other. Why was James Potter here?

"Before we get down to business," Filch said with a sniff and repugnant sneer, "I have to tell you to go to Professor McGonagall's office after your detention. She should use the whips and the rack, like in the good old days. That 'prank' means three weeks worth of scrubbing for me!" he spat out spitefully, "But mark my words you will pay for it, you little cretins!"

Filch revealed acrid yellow teeth as he pulled back his lips into a vile grin. "Now, though, I have a little job for you two."

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"So...nice weather we're having."

Lily was trying to ignore him, but she had to struggle against a grin as a loud crash of thunder echoed throughout the castle. 'No!' she told herself, sternly. 'Do not show him that you have any knowledge of his existence.' So she blocked out his tiresome ramblings and continued to clean.

Their punishment was to scrub the steps in the Entrance Hall until they shone, which was a particularly difficult job after a day of rain and general nastiness, meaning there were muddy footprints everywhere.

However difficult as the task may have been, Lily threw herself into it, thinking that if she concentrated all her efforts into the cleaning she would be finished sooner.

James had other ideas. He regularly paused in his lazy scrubbing to make some 'clever' comment or tell her all about some *hilarious* prank he and Sirius once pulled. Lily was neither amused nor impressed, but getting increasingly annoyed with his hindering their progress and vague efforts.

When he stood in front of her, excitedly telling her about an adventure he'd once had, she snapped. She was worrying about the meeting with McGonagall and James was just making it worse by acting unfazed by it; he was just happily chattering away, unaware that she was getting extremely angry at him.

"...So then Sirius dropped the branch *on purpose* and let me fall in the river! My wand was soaking...I had to send it to Ollivander's for him to repair it- the unicorn tail had gone all soggy and..." he trailed off as he noticed her stand up menacingly and wield her scrubbing brush as a weapon.

Lily was evilly hoping that he would carry on rambling so that she could shove that brush where the Sun doesn't shine. She was sick of him and his 'adventures'. She knew for certain that she would leave him bereft of limbs if he uttered another word about his damn pranks, and actually prayed that he would so that she could take out some of her anger and confusion on someone.

Unfortunately, he backed off, leaving Lily disappointed.

"Erm...I've forgotten what I was going to say! How strange!" Potter looked nervous and edged backwards away from her, slowly at first, then, when he was about a metre off, he turned and all but ran towards the safety of the opposite side of the huge staircase.

Lily was happy that she had got him to shut up, but this conflicted with her frustration at not having the opportunity to send him to the Medical Wing. Why did he suddenly develop 'intuition' and 'common sense' at such an inopportune moment?

They continued scrubbing in silence for what felt like hours and was actually- hours. When Lily eventually reached the last step on her side of the great staircase and began maniacally cleaning in order to finish it, James looked up and studied her for a moment.

"Aren't you going to ask me why I'm here?"

Lily only glanced at him and scornfully replied, "I really don't care." She gave her steps a quick once over and, satisfied with a job well done, stood to trudge over to McGonagall's office and discover her fate. She had only taken a few steps when James spoke softly and stopped her in her tracks.

"I know you know."

Lily looked him straight in the eyes this time, trying to figure out if he was talking about what she thought he was talking about. She decided to take the safe route. "Know what?"

He looked flustered and glanced around as if checking for any spies and whispered, " That we did it."

"Did what?"

James went red and looked like he wanted to stamp his foot in frustration. "The tapestry!"

Lily smiled in that innocent way that clearly showed her evilness. "Oh, *that*!"

He looked her in the eye, seriously for once, taking Lily aback. She wasn't used to serious James. "What are you going to do?"

'Ah!' Lily thought. 'The ultimate question: to lie or not to lie?' She decided to tell him the truth as, at that time, she didn't feel he was worthy enough for her to spend critical brain power creating an untruth when she couldn't be bothered to. "I told McGonagall earlier, but she didn't believe me." When she saw James sigh with relief she thought that she should be mean and not let him get away unscathed. " I believe her exact words were: 'It couldn't be those boys. They're too dim-witted. Potter especially is a complete and utter nitwit.'"

James' eyebrows migrated North at this, but he stayed silent, outrage written across his face.

Lily felt slightly guilty so, even though she knew she would live to regret it, she talked to him properly, without scorn or derision, however much she wanted to. "So, they caught you to, eh?"

He shrugged with an easy smile. "Nah! I heard they'd caught you and confessed immediately."

"No, you didn't." Lily wasn't stupid.

His grin spread even further across his face, in recognition of his bluff being called. "Well, I would have if I hadn't been caught."