I'm Not Suppose to Love You

Her eyes shot open as soon as she heard him leave the doorway. She was awake the whole time he stood there, watching her, wearing that same look of nonchalance on his handsome, boyish face. Even at twenty-three he still looked so much like the boy she remembered him to be back when they were still at Hogwarts together.

They had been living together under the pretence of being husband and wife for the past six months. They changed their names and moved in to the muggle world where he had a hard time adapting, but he soon overcome it and became a successful muggle--as far as she was concerned anyway. They became friends as well during those six months that they were together, although they weren't the best of friends, they came to some sort of understanding and she learned to trust him with all her life.

Next to Harry and Ron, Draco Malfoy was the next person she would go to in case she needed protection from everything. She knew Percy would always be there for her, but somehow it felt different to be protected and looked after by someone as experienced and trained for unsuspecting battle like Draco.

Quietly rising from her bed, she tiptoed towards the connecting doors and took a peek inside. She saw Draco drag a chair towards the window and sat down. He gazed out on the night sky and was lost in his thoughts.

Hermione took advantage of this time to study the man she had grown to trust...to like...to care for...and eventually, the man she had grown to love over the course of the six months that they had been together. She had fancied Draco long before Harry and Ron sent him to take her away from the Burrow and hide her somewhere the Death Eaters wouldn't know where to find her. It was his idea to for them to take on new identities and live amongst muggles. He also told her they must change their looks a little, so he chopped off his long, blond locks and instead of its usual platinum blond shade, he dyed it to a dirty blond shade whilst she chopped her long, bushy hair short and used a spell to straighten it. They agreed to use her mother's maiden name and they lived smack-dab in the middle of London and find work in and around the busy city.

"I don't think the Dark Lord's followers are smart enough to look for us right under their noses. They would think we fled the country or something," Draco pointed out to her when she questioned of his decision for them to remain in London and lived amongst muggles there.

She got a job at a local grocery store whilst Draco worked for a video rental store. It wasn't a very classy job to take, by they needed to stay low profile and these jobs provided them with the extra cover. They made new friends and enjoyed life as Mr. and Mrs. Caleb and Krystal O'Brien.

It was the kind of married life Hermione pictured for herself and Percy, but whenever she tried to substitute Percy's face for Draco's, she was having difficulty seeing her fiancé's face in the picture.

That night when she and Draco almost made love, Hermione was willing to throw everything away just to be with him. She didn't bother to think of the consequences of their action; she just wanted to feel him close to her. If it hadn't been for the phone ringing they wouldn't have stopped, and she wouldn't have been hit with a bucket of ice-cold water.

While Draco talked to his co-worker she hastily made her escape and locked herself in her bedroom. She was afraid then. No, she didn't regret letting Draco go as far as fondling her breasts. It wasn't that she was afraid of. She was afraid that once she had a taste of him; felt him buried deep inside her, that she would be addicted to him. As Krystal she wouldn't mind making love to Caleb again and again, but what would happen once the pretence was over? She would go back to being Hermione Granger, fiancé of Percy Weasley, and he would go back to being Draco Malfoy, an auror and close friends with her two best friends.

She jumped when he heard him curse. Her startled brown eyes quickly turned to watch the man seated on the chair looking at the sky. He was mumbling something under his breath that she couldn't quite hear nor understand. She waited until he got up and turned around. She could tell he was shocked to find her standing there when just minutes ago he left her sound asleep in her room.

"Hermione, what's wrong?" he asked her when she just remained standing there with a deer caught in the headlights look on her face.

Think Hermione, think! she cajoled herself, This could be your only chance to be with him. Take the chance, girl, and just go for it!

"Can I sleep with you, Draco?" she was uttering the question before she could stop herself.

She kept her gaze locked with his and saw the shock that registered on his face. Was he thinking what she was thinking or was he thinking of a different concept for her question?

"Uh...sure, sure. Hop into bed and make yourself comfort..." his voice trailed off when Hermione crossed the room and stood right in front of him, her brown eyes locking with his grey ones. It wasn't that kind of sleeping with him she had in mind. She wanted to feel him flesh against flesh keeping her warm all through the night, their hearts beating as one.

She wanted him.

She stopped right in front of him, her eyes still locked with his.

"No, I mean sleep-sleep with you, Draco," she hoped he got her meaning this time. It wasn't easy for her to ask him this. She knew she was playing with fire by just being here, but she needed to be hold and ask what she wanted.

"Her-Hermione, are you out of your mind?" he stammered. He tried to move away from her, but Hermione didn't let him.

"No..." she shook her head and lifted her hand and traced his lips with her index finger, "Yes..." her eyes fell on his lips where her finger was at then lifted her brown eyes once more to meet with his grey ones, "I don't know. All I know is that I want you and I don't want us to part ways without knowing what it could be like between us," she told him honestly.

She sensed his reluctance. She knew he would deny her of her need to touch and feel him. That night when they first kissed she wanted to consume all of him, but she had her doubts then. Tonight, however, was different. Her mind was made up. She wanted him. And she knew damn well he wanted her back. She would give and he would take, and vice-versa. She would love him all night until this aching feeling of love and longing for him disappeared and she would be able to go on living her life the way she had been before her whole world changed and she was entrusted to be with Draco Malfoy--the one person she knew she was in far more danger with than being by herself. She kept up the façade of hating the man in order to protect her heart from being crushed, but the fates weren't playing fair. That night he came to the Burrow and told everyone he was taking her away, her heart made a sudden jolting movement that was akin to surprise, glee, and most of all, fear. Of course the cool and always composed Hermione Granger took over and she acted as indifferent toward him as she had been all these years, but inside she was shaking.

In the six months that she pretended to be Mrs. Caleb O'Brien she kept on convincing herself that she shouldn't fall in love with her pretend husband. It was Percy she loved and it was him she wanted to spend forever with, but try as she might, the more she got to know the real Draco Malfoy and the more they worked together to achieve a certain goal together Hermione couldn't stop her heart from giving in to what she really felt for the man. Now it was pretending not to love and care for him that she had to do instead of the other way around. Showing their friends and co-workers that she loved her husband was easy; she didn't have to play a game of pretence, but once they were alone together it became harder and harder for her to hide her feelings.

"Hermione, stop," he commanded hoarsely, grabbing her wrist and stopping her from teasing him.

Hermione gave him a hurt look, "Don't you want me too, Malfoy?" she taunted.

"Hell, you know I do, Granger. You know how much I goddamned want you, but we can't," he slowly put down her hand and pushed her away from him, holding her at arm's length. "Tomorrow I'm taking you back to the Burrow. Tomorrow night you'll be back in your fiance's arms and you would've forgotten all about me. We had six months together, that's all we had. Nothing happened in those six months and nothing will happen now, understand?"

No. She didn't want to hear this. He wasn't pushing her away. He can't be pushing her away. Please Draco, don't deny us of what was inevitable, she silently pleaded with him.

"In those six months we weren't Draco and Hermione. We were Caleb and Krystal, a young, happily married couple who couldn't stop loving each other. Why can't we be Caleb and Krystal tonight? Just for tonight?" she begged.

The next thing Hermione knew she was pulled against Draco's body, his mouth coming down on hers--hard. Hermione didn't have time to protest nor process what was happening, all she knew was finally she was getting what she wanted. He kissed her hard that Hermione thought her teeth would be knocked back down her throat, but soon Draco's kiss turned gentle and caressing. He loosed his tight grip on her arms and his hands dropped to her waist, hauling her close until her body pressed against his, the core of his arousal poking her midriff, letting her know that he wanted her as much as she wanted him.

Oh thank you, sweet Merlin! she sent a silent prayer of thanks before wrapping her arms around his neck. She stood on tiptoes and met him kiss for kiss. She moaned into his mouth when she felt his arms encircled her waist, one hand moving down and cupping a feel of her well-round bottom. She gasped when he gave it a slight pinch before his hand grabbed a handful of the oversized cotton shirt she was wearing and tugged it up and over her head, tossing it on the floor.

Draco knelt down before her and started trailing kisses from her chest down to the valley between her breasts. His mouth stopped its downward ascent and turned to suckle at one hardened nipple while he captured the other between his thumb and index finger. Once he was satisfied suckling on one breath he moved to the other and did the same thing to it too. Hermione's knees nearly gave beneath her, but Draco held on to her tightly and before long he was moving lower until he reached his destination.

Hermione let out a surprised gasp when Draco did something to her down there that she never thought she'd experience. She was no prude. She and Percy made love numerous times since they got together, but Percy was never the kind of lover Draco was to her now. Her mind was swirling and she was convulsing for her release as soon as Draco was done pleasuring her.

Draco got up to his feet and undressed himself. He gently nudged Hermione towards the bed until the back of her knees hit its side and she fell down. Draco soon climbed up on the bed above her and resumed kissing her passionately, snaking his tongue into her mouth, coaxing and cajoling hers while his hand caressed her breasts.

"I want you inside me now, Draco," she whimpered when she could no longer contain herself, "I need you buried deep inside me..."

Draco didn't need to be asked twice. Hermione bent her knees and spread her legs apart until Draco was positioned to enter her. He paused from fully possessing her and gave her one last quelling look and asked, "Are you sure?"

Hermione nodded, her eyes filled with longing that mirrored his own.

Within seconds he was sheathed and buried deep inside her. Sweet Merlin, she didn't think it would feel this good to have him buried deep inside her. She was shocked to feel the full impact of his size buried inside her and it made her bucked underneath him a bit, adjusting her body to the size of him before they started to move together. It was a rhythm all their own, their bodies responding to one another on instinct. He took her nice and slow at first before he started to pick up the pace.

Finally when they were both about to climax she could no longer control her long, pent-up emotion and wanted to tell him what she really felt for him. "Oh Draco...Draco...I lov--"

But she wasn't able to finish her sentence before Draco's mouth cut off the rest of her words with a kiss. He silenced her declaration of love with a kiss, and she knew why without bothering to think about it. It was just sex to him what they were doing. Six months without having sex could put a strain on one's sex life. She was just this convenient piece of flesh that he could lose himself in to. Hermione couldn't help but feel hurt at her assumption, but what could she do? It was her fault she let her guards down and loved a man like Draco Malfoy. But his kiss spoke volumes. It said what he wasn't saying out loud, and was she just misreading it or was it the truth?

He loves her too?

He thrust in and out of her harder and faster, picking up the pace until they both shout out the other's name, riding a different kind of euphoria that took them forever to recover from.

Draco collapsed on top of her, burying his face between her shoulders and his breathing ragged.

Hermione, however, kept her arms and legs wrapped around his sweat-drenched body, her hand moving gently up and down his spine. She planted a loving kiss on his shoulder and whispered, "You complete me, Draco Caleb Malfoy," when what she really wanted to say was that she love him with all her heart.

He didn't make any sound. In response he kissed her shoulder lovingly before pushing himself up and supporting his weight with his elbows braced on either side of her. His stormy grey eyes raked over her face and without saying anything he lowered his head and captured her mouth for another kiss that started another session of their lovemaking.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

three months later...

Hermione stood in front of the full length mirror while her soon to be sisters-in-law and her future mother-in-law bustled over her, checking her make-up and double checking her wedding gown. She quickly placed a protective hand on her stomach, letting out a sigh of relief that her gown didn't reveal much of her figure.

Nobody knew of her added weight or the cause behind it. Percy noted that she looked a bit fuller than usual and soon everyone else in the family started to comment on her putting on some weight. She kept mum about the reason behind it. She let them speculate on her sudden weight gain but she neither confirmed nor denied their suspicions.

She hadn't seen Draco since the day they arrived to the Burrow and he reunited her with Percy and her friends. He didn't stay long though. As soon as he was sure she was safe and sound he made his excuses and left. She tried to run after him, they still needed to talk, but she couldn't get away fast enough from Percy and her future sisters-in-laws and by the time she got away Draco was long gone. She didn't see him again until the rehearsal dinner last night when he arrived with Harry and Ron from work.

Oh God, he never looked more ravishing now than three months before! He hardly visited the Burrow since their return from hiding unlike before that he came home to the Burrow with Harry and Ron as often as he could visit.

It took all of Hermione's will power not to run towards Draco as soon as he walked in to the Burrow after Ron and Harry last night. She was in the living room having tea with the ladies when the men started arriving. The last ones to come home were Harry and Ron and they brought with them a stranger to the family for three months. The ladies soon got up and started to surround him, but Hermione remained where she was. She watched as Draco mingled with her future in-laws. He had become a part of the family since he started working alongside her two best friends. Molly Weasley quickly accepted him, but the other ladies--with the exception of Fleur and Anastasia who just simply adored Draco right from the start--as well as their husbands had a hard time adjusting to having Draco around the house.

Hermione didn't get to talk to Draco until after the wedding rehearsal and dinner. Everyone was inside the house chattering amongst themselves. Draco excused himself from the group and stepped outside. Hermione took this moment to excuse herself from the family as well and followed him. She found Draco in the middle of the backyard staring at the night sky once again. It felt like déjà vu all over again for her, him looking at the sky while she quietly spied on him.

"Come out here, Hermione. Cowering away in the dark isn't really you," Draco said after a while.

Hermione jumped when he addressed her. She didn't know how he knew she was there, but there was no point pretending he was wrong and that she wasn't really there. She walked up to where he stood and tilted her head up to look at the night sky as well.

"Nice night, huh?" she mused, hoping to sound casual and friendly.

"Yeah," he nodded and didn't bother saying anything more.

Silence befell them. A silence so deafening Hermione thought her eardrums would pop.

"What are you doing here, Granger? Shouldn't you be cozying it up with your fiancé inside?" he asked after a while.

"I know," she nodded, "But I kinda miss my husband," she smiled cheekily, taking her eyes from looking at the night sky to watch Draco's face contort into something akin to sadness.

"I am not your husband anymore, Hermione. Caleb and Krystal no longer exist on this plane," he told her bitterly, his eyes remained fixed on the night sky.

"Oh. It's a shame really. I heard they made a perfect couple."

Draco growled and looked at her then, "Stop being coy, Granger. You're getting married tomorrow to the man you love and the one who deserves you. Stop rehashing about the past or the could-have-beens and the what-might-have-beens," he scolded.

He was angry. She hadn't seen Draco Malfoy got angry since he started working alongside her friends.

"Draco," she reached out to touch his shoulder, but he shrugged her hand away and took a step back.

"Don't, Hermione. Let's leave things the way they are, alright? You said it so yourself. We had our night, that was all there is to it, right?"

No, she wanted to scream at him. No, that wasn't all there is to it, dammit! I'm pregnant with our child, damn you, and I wanted you to know!

"Caleb and Krystal had their night, Malfoy, not Draco and Hermione," she pointed out to him.

Draco raised an eyebrow, "Indeed?" he questioned, "Aren't Caleb, Krystal, Draco, and Hermione one and the same?"

"They're our other persona, Malfoy. Caleb and Krystal were the picture perfect couple who were newlyweds and were starting a life together in the muggle world. Draco and Hermione, however, were two people who have known each other since they were eleven years old."

"But there is no Draco and Hermione, is there, Granger? There will be a Hermione and Percy, but never a Hermione and Draco," he pointed out bitterly.

"Draco," she took a step closer to him, but he backed away once again.

"Hermione, don't," he pleaded with her. "You're getting married to Weasley tomorrow. I wish you all the happiness in the world."

He made it so damn final that Hermione had goosebumps appear all over her arms.

"This isn't goodbye yet, you know? You are going to the wedding and reception tomorrow, aren't you? I mean, you are invited, Malfoy."

He looked cornered for a moment there. So, the great Draco Malfoy decided not to show up at all for her wedding.

"Oh great, you aren't even going to give your ex-wife moral support on her wedding day?" she taunted.

"We were never married, Hermione. It was all pretence, remember?"

Oh how could she ever forget? Sometimes she wished they were married for real because what they had back then felt so damn real.

"Sometimes I wished it wasn't just pretence," she murmured and turned her back to him before she cried in front of him.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

Hermione took a deep breath and clutched the bouquet of assorted flowers in her hands. She looked at her reflection one last time in front of the mirror and discreetly ran her hand over her stomach. She still doesn't know how she'd explain to Percy about her situation and who fathered her unborn child.

"Hermione, darling, ready?" Louisa Granger asked her daughter as she peered over Hermione's shoulder to look at her daughter's reflection in the mirror.

Smile Hermione. Now is not the time to show everyone you're troubled, she reminded herself and followed her mind's order. She put on a fake smile and met her mother's gaze through their reflection in the mirror.

"Yes, Mum, I'm ready," she nodded and turned around to embrace her mother.

"I love you, Hermione," Louisa whispered before pulling away from their embrace.

"I love you too, Mum," Hermione whispered back. "Is Dad ready to escort me down the aisle?" she asked teasingly.

"Of course I am, sweetie," Herb Granger chuckled and entered the change room.

Hermione smiled up at her father and looped her arm around his. Together they walked out of the change room just as the wedding march struck. She felt all jittery nervous inside, her eyes kept on darting from pew to pew in search of the blond haired man that had haunted her dreams since the day they parted company.

Draco stood beside Harry near the front, his face a complete mask as she couldn't tell what emotions he was going through at that moment. Their eyes met and held for the longest time. Suddenly she was transported back to their brief time together and she couldn't help but choke back her tears.

The ceremony flew by in a flurry of words and vows and whatnots. Hermione wasn't really concentrating on what was happening. She was amazed she didn't flub any lines or made a complete fool of herself. She never had the chance to glance at Draco again after her father gave her away to Percy and they stood before the minister.

Soon they were proclaimed as husband and wife. Percy lifted the veil covering her face and they shared their first kiss as a married couple. The crowd cheered and clapped for them until they pulled apart. Hermione's face ached from smiling and her eyes quickly scanned the room in search of Draco. She knew he stood beside Harry but when she glanced at Harry Draco was nowhere to be found.

He left without saying goodbye.

When family and friends came up to congratulate them before they took their walk down the aisle as husband and wife, Hermione pulled Harry and asked where Draco went.

"He said he had to leave right away. There were some pressing matters he needed to attend to. He said he was sorry he couldn't stay," Harry told her.

"Oh," Hermione hid her disappointment.

She smiled for the cameras and hugged everyone. Finally she and Percy was able to walk down the aisle and out of the building. They ran down the stairs and at the bottom she threw her bouquet over and she didn't even have time to see who caught it before she was ushered into the waiting car.

She settled herself comfortably on the other end of the stretch limousine when something caught the side of her eye and she glanced outside the car window and saw Draco standing on the other side of the street, his hands in his trouser pockets and a look of sadness written all over his face. He was looking longingly at the departing limousine and Hermione's heart couldn't help but go out to him.

I love you, Draco Caleb Malfoy, even if you don't want me to, she promised and once again her hand came to cover her stomach protectively.

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~ * ~ >> The End << ~ * ~

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